With Auntie Agatha, firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com,Tel: 08054500626Troubled Mic writes Agatha:
I’m a guy of 21 years and there’s this girl, 22, I know she likes me so much and has never shied away from letting me know about this.
Although she has everything I would like in a wife but she is not very beautiful. My desire is to marry a woman who is beautiful. I fear I may break her heart on account of this flaw in her. I am anxious because I have this principle that a man should date only the woman he can marry. What do you think?
Dear Troubled Mic,
At 21, you still have a lot of growing up to do in terms of emotional maturity to appreciate life the more. You are yet to get to that point in life when you would need to consider more than the look of a woman to make the right choice.
As you gather experiences in matters of the heart, you will discover that it takes more than the physical appearance of a person to give happiness. The essence of a human being isn’t in how the person looks but in how the person behaves.
Yes, it is advisable and the best policy not to date anyone you cannot get married to, this can only achieve the right results if you scale down on the physical beauty of the person.
Relationship and marriage unlike beauty pageants isn’t fueled by the physical advantages rather it is framed around who that person is. Who a person goes a long way in defining how much happiness, peace and support that person is capable of giving to another person.
A person could have a very pleasant look on the outside but a real terror at home. As a young man just starting out, it is important you learn to place your priorities to avoid the mistake a lot of men before you made and they are biting their fingers for it today.
What should concern you now is how to be this lady’s friend; create an opportunity to know if you both have what it takes to move on. It is also necessary to sound a note of warning here that you get your visions right.
In doing this, you must have a fair idea of where you are headed in the next 10 years from now. This would help you factor in the kind of woman you need to support your dream to reality; point you at the quality of the kind of temperament your woman must have at all times as well as the kind of strength she must have especially if you won’t always be around in the early years. If your vision is to build a successful business, you will need a woman who can function on her own without worrying you about little things such as electricity or minor medical bills. You will need a woman who can manage what she has without nagging you for more. Every man needs a woman who is patient to support his dream to maturity as well as who has the magic to transform a house to a home.
These are not achieved by looks but by dedication to her man and appreciation of her position as the woman in his life. The realization that she is in his life to help him fulfill his mission on earth is what a man needs to help him move to the next level.
Every man needs the motivation provided by the support of his wife to make the difference in life. A woman who is only interested in her looks and not the character of her home will at the end of the day be a huge disappointment not only to her husband but her children too. Men may be the head of the home but the woman is the pillar that holds everything together. She therefore has to be strong to do this job successfully.
This is where the inner beauty comes into play. This is what gives the physical look its character, its skeleton of support. Every beautiful facade must have the right kind of inner support to remain indelible.
Your girlfriend may not be as beautiful as you want your woman to be but that doesn’t mean she isn’t a beautiful person within her. You can only get to know how beautiful she really is if you get close to her.
Have an open mind about her. That you are friends with her doesn’t mean you are walking down the aisle immediately. Sail the boat of friendship; this isn’t complicating at all. Take each day as it comes, don’t make promises you may find difficult to keep until you are sure of the person behind the mask.
A little step at a time helps stabilize so many things.