It's so easy to fall for your best friend's ex!

Written by Candida - Nigeria

When Amarachi's childhood friend, Theresa continued to regale her with the escapades of Chuka, her boyfriend of five years, her instant reaction was for Theresa to dump him. "As far as I knew them, it was the logical solution", Amarachi said. "But would Theresa listen? No! `I love him', she wailed whenever Chuka behaved badly. Once, he'd gone for a friend's wedding in another state and didn't come back until a week later! Then worst of all, he'd forgotten her birthday.

"But I was always there for my friend, Kleenex at the ready, through every crisis. `Why don't you bin the loser?' I always urged her. `He's not good enough for you'. It might be a bit harsh but if my 28 years had thought me anything, it was that men just weren't worth the tissue. Practically every man I'd dated had either cheated on me or dumped me.

My last boyfriend had told me his company had transferred him to a neighbouring country only for me to see him a month later at the cold storage of a supermarket with anew girl in tow! Since then, I'd washed my hands off men.

"That was close to a year without sex - and it was a killer. But my piece of mind was more than a consolation. It wasn't long that Theresa called, crying it was over between her and Chuka the swine. I rushed over to her place and we called him every name we could over a bottle of wine. When I later ran into him at a party and he walked over to where I was, a sickly smile on his face, I told him to get lost. He looked embarrassed. `There are two sides to every story', he said.

And before I could stop him, he started telling me how Theresa was always jealous and moody. `And she never liked sex', he said sadly. Despite myself, I felt a pang of sympathy. While Theresa had confessed they rarely had sex, I'd assumed it was down to Chuka. He snorted: `You've got to be joking. I've been frustrated for months'. `I knew the feeling', I joked.

"As he left the party, he promised to call. `I've always liked you', he confessed. And with a peck on my cheek, he was gone. I was completely stunned. My best friend's ex had just made a pass at me! The slime bag! My first instinct was to tell Theresa, make her realise how lucky she was to be rid of him. But it would only upset her. Still, Chuka didn't deserve to get away scot-free, I vowed to get revenge on my own for my friend's sake. I'd lead him on, then tell him what I really thought of him.

"So when he called a few days later and started flirting with me over the phone, I flirted right back. He texted every day after that - funny, cheeky messages that had me laughing out loud. I had to remind myself he was a creep I needed to teach a lesson. But somehow, his texts always made me smile. It was inevitable he asked me out and I accepted. We had dinner at a quiet restaurant and over drinks, I realised he was a very charming man indeed.

"I thought fleetingly about Theresa. How this was about revenge, not about enjoying myself. But Chuka edged closer. `I know you're Theresa's friend', he said. `But I re4ally like you. You're so confident and sexy'. This was the moment where I was supposed to tell him, in no uncertain terms what a swine he was and how I hoped he'd rot in hell for giving my friend such a hard time.

But I couldn't./ Chuka wasn't a monster. Actually, he was a nice man. Very nice. That's why I've seen him five more times since our first date. The last outing, I let him take me back to h is flat and make love to me. After almost a year of abstaining, I was in seventh heaven!

"Now I'm smitten, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. That's why I'm trying to avoid my best friend. We used to go out a lot, but if we continue with that, she's bound to find out I'm bonking her ex behind her back - a typical male behaviour. But you can't help who you fall in love with. Now that I've found love, all my worthy `dump the cad' principles have bitten the dust. For as long as it lasts, I'm following my heart!"