Written by Tunde Ajaja - Nigeria
Getting a partner to reveal a (deep) secret seems to have gone beyond the conventional ways, such as intense persuasion, optimism, kneeling down, gift sharing, nice treat and even a promise of reward, among others.
There seems to be an easier, sweeter, cheaper and more affordable way to get a partner to share such secrets. A study carried out by some scientists from the University of Connecticut, United States, showed that having orgasm during sex could make people to reveal important information, like their deepest secrets.
Notably, it is not uncommon to hear people having sex say things that they would not have said ordinarily or make promises that they might not even remember after that session, possibly due to the ecstatic feeling associated with sex. Perhaps, this is the main reason why people say the worst time to ask if a partner loves you is during sex.
Orgasm, the principal word in the findings of the study, is the climax of sexual excitement, characterised by intensely pleasurable feelings centred in the genitals and (in men) experienced as an accompaniment to ejaculation.
Both men and women can reach orgasm, maybe at different times, because men have been found to reach that euphoric destination in a shorter time than women do, and theirs, according to findings, might require some additional efforts like clitoral stimulation.
Regardless, with the findings of the study, it thus appears that there is no end to the benefits derivable from sex. This is because previous studies have pointed out that apart from procreation and the enormous pleasure that sex offers, it is a good form of exercise.
However, the study, led by Amanda Denes, an assistant professor in the university, and published in the journal Communication Monographs and the National Communication Association, pointed out that after having an orgasm, people tend to experience a rapid increase in their love hormone, known as Oxytocin. This hormone, which is also known as pro-social hormone, tends to increase how trustworthy people perceive others to be.
Thus, with the increase in the level of this hormone after experiencing orgasm, people tend to share such information that they consider secret with the partner because they would likely see the person as trustworthy.
The fact that sex engages most part of the body and orgasm engages every part of the brain shows that the excitement could make it mind-blowing and make people say things they ordinarily would have kept to themselves.
Even though sharing laughs can also make people feel more comfortable to reveal their secrets, the Oxytocin hormone seems to do it better because it tends to be more compelling, according to the study, reviewed by Daily Mail.
It added that the conversation between people after (consented) sexual intercourse is typically positive because of the excitement that comes with sex.
Denes said, "Communication after sexual intercourse is likely linked to sexual and relationship satisfaction. For this reason, pillow talk may play a pivotal role in maintaining intimacy.
"Oxytocin floods a person's brain immediately after orgasm, and elevated levels of oxytocin are linked with a greater sense of trust and reduced perceptions of threat, in addition to lower levels of cortisol, a stress hormone. This combination can create an environment in which people feel safe disclosing information to their partner."
The study, however, noted that mixing alcohol with sex could have an opposite effect. Even though people who drink before sex are also likely to say things that they didn't plan to tell their partner, Denes said mixing alcohol with sex is unlikely to lead people to divulge more of their important secrets, unlike when the sex is not alcohol-induced.
The study's co-author, Prof. Tamara Afifi, of the University of Iowa, United States, said, "Oxytocin is an 'upper' and alcohol is a 'downer,' so it's not surprising that they have opposite effects on behaviour. People who drink more alcohol on average perceive fewer benefits to disclosing information to their partners."
Noteworthy is the fact that the person, either the man or the woman, who would divulge such important information must have reached orgasm before the likelihood of doing that would set in, even though most statistics posit that about 30 per cent of women have trouble reaching orgasm.
Reacting to the study, a psychologist, Prof. Oni Fagboungbe, said it is true that people tend to share their secret during sex because of the ecstatic feeling, adding that revealing secrets might even become part of the excitement.
He said, "During orgasm, people tend to be in a super state of ecstasy. You are so super excited that revealing secrets becomes part of the excitement, and that was what the Japanese used during the world war.
"They were sending their pretty young ladies to the American and other enemies' camps. During sexual intercourse, those ladies would ask questions about their movement, their next target and other such things. Because those soldiers were in a period of ecstasy, they were revealing their secrets, and the ladies would pass the information to their camp.
"When it was discovered that the Americans were not making progress despite their superior weapons, psychologists later discovered that those people were not real soldiers because there was no sense of patriotism or commitment in them. They were being controlled by ecstatic values, enjoying women and giving away critical information. So, at that level of sexual enjoyment, people tend to give away valuable information.
"Even in the Bible, there were records that in the time past, women were used to penetrate powerful people and it was usually through the power of sex. So, it is true."
Also, a medical doctor, Rotimi Adesanya, said even though there is no medical explanation for the findings of the study, people tend to give out such valuable information at such moments because of the excitement attached to orgasm.
He added, "That is when people's mood is on a very high level. It's like people's happiest moment, and at that point in time, that person may be willing to do anything, even much more than revealing secrets. When people are happy, they can do so many things, because even in the Bible, a king that was so happy did not mind somebody being beheaded.
"So, it's possible. For example, Oxytocin functions more in women and it controls their mood at certain periods. It's also involved in excitement and it helps the nipples to stand erect."