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Before you go into a new relationship

Written by: Omotola Oduola - Nigerian Tribune

Did you just quit a relationship? What were your reasons for quitting? Do you think getting into a new relationship is safe enough for you to avoid a rebound because it is said that when your heart is broken you become weak at times, your emotions fail you, thereby making you fall into wrong hands because of your state of mind.

Many people, especially women, often refer to the first several months of a relationship as the honeymoon stage. This is because at the early stages of a relationship, everything seems wonderful and things are just clicking. You get butterflies every time you are with the significant other; you get excited just at the thought of them and you just have an amazing time every moment you are together. But the reality is that despite how easy and great any relationship is, one has to be willing to do things that will allow it to flourish, however easy it is to overlook the importance of having a strategy that will allow you to continually give all towards making a relationship work.

To get into another relationship, you need to ask yourself if you are prepared to trust again, to share your fears with someone you love, as getting into another relationship involves you letting out your imperfect self to someone you think can be trusted with such.
A few things are necessary to get into the dating circle again. Speaking with Relationships, Ighoro Alexander, cleric and consultant on relationship issues, shares a few tips on what to consider before starting a new relationship.

'One of the easiest ways to know a man is his friends'
According to Alexander, "One of the greatest consideration surprisingly and against popular norm is how prepared you are. Sometimes, people go into relationship just thinking of the other person. Without adequate personal preparation emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and mentally, you perhaps are not qualified for any relationship. Beyond that you must consider the value system of the other person. Every man's action has its foundation in values that have been ingrained over the years. Specifically, does he value for spiritual things? By that I mean, does he has the fear of God? Who are his friends?

"One of the easiest ways to know a man is his friends. Principally, you must consider, if he has a well defined and articulated vision for his life. The easiest way to waste your life is to be on the same bus with a man who does not know where he is going. Finally, is he diligent? These, among many, are considerations before going into relationship."

Be single and ready to mingle
To prepare yourself to meet a great person, you need to be in the midst of people who are happy and cheerful and this can make you have a change of heart. Feel free to meet people, depending on the kind of friendship circle you keep; you should start by hanging out with old friends or even making new friends. With time, you just might fall in love again.

Adopt a safe, mature online presence
Online friendships can lead to romantic relationships. Starting something could be fun by asking simple and reasonable questions. It is always safe to be absolutely sure before going any further.

Arrange a date
After having a nice time chatting with each other, you can proceed to arrange a date where you will get to know each other and discuss other serious issues but be careful where you meet. It must be in public to be on the safe side.

Pay attention to body language
Our body says it all. Try as much as possible to pay attention to body language. If your heart connects, the body can be a better means of confirming that something is positive about the relationship. Eye contact, if it's friendly, and nodding might depict the bonding depending on the body reaction, so be attentive enough to decode the message.

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