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The promises of promiscuity

Written by Dr. Biodun Ogungbo - Nigeria. 

Dr. Biodun Ogungbo
First, please read and enjoy this rich, deep and fantastic poem written by a young girl Ojatobate Adjekuko. It just makes sense and calls for serious reflection. I hope the rest of the article does justice to the beauty of this poem. Let it sink in before moving on.
  • Flirty eyes and bold lips
  • Young faces in make-up concealing innocence
  • Flashing enhanced bodies covered with the latest trend
  • Trapped in a bubble of fairyland
  • The world bowing at their feet
  • Seeking the fleeting attention of the young
  • Attracting unwelcome eyes of raging wolves
  • Enticed by the fresh scent of adventure
  • Caressing with sweet sounds, 'I love you'
  • Fierce hunger of wolves pouncing
  • Devouring succulent flesh
  • Quick sand deepening in fantasy
  • Bed of roses sprouting thorns
  • Caged by lies and turned to slaves
  • Furred by fake desires
  • Love songs become a dirge
  • Deepening into the abyss
  • Oh shame sprouts seeds of promiscuity
  • Deep stares as weapons into her
  • Head flooding with shame
  • Smearing red lips and dripping mascara
  • In a pool of blood she sits
  • Wishfully turning back the hands of time
  • Till eyes shut and life ebbs
  • Her soul not to be
  • The man in white soon a companion
  • Ending a journey that has not started
  • Echoes a mothers wail
  • Resounding round the hills
  • Bouncing on the burial ground

Oh, how bitter sweet the promises of promiscuity!

Then, a story from Chinwe

Recently, a young woman wrote on the internet about her experiences in the hands of a terrible man she met online, who pretended to love her but ultimately defiled and damaged her for life.

Chinwe said she befriended the chap on Facebook and subsequently fell in lust with him. For what else can we call what she reported as advice for other young people!
As the story unfolded, she jilted her campus boyfriend in order to engage in an affair with this other man. The new boyfriend made her do depraved acts and, eventually, cut off her nipple, blinded her in one eye and traumatised her psyche permanently.

Chinwe learnt a hard lesson that is perhaps undeserved in reality. For, how could she have known that the knight in shiny armour was a certifiable sociopath?

There are similar stories of social media rapes and murders and young women need to be very careful. Do not expose yourself to monsters on Facebook, twitter and Instagram. Too much information and, especially, pictures about you is definitely not a good idea. Keep your modesty and do not be pushed to impress anyone. Information about where you are, what you have and where you have been on holiday is like a signpost to fiends and monsters.

Rampaging wolves

Other dangers lurk outside of social media. There are many older Nigerian men who just cannot get enough and for whom sex still holds such awe. These wolves, often seen wearing flowing gowns and shiny bright suits, seem to have desperate need for confirmation of their virility. Everything in skirt is game and they use their power, position, luck and opportunity to oppress young girls in desperate need of a bright future. They end up inflicting intense psychological trauma on their young victims.

Many young women who are looking to develop a career and forge ahead in life come across 'knights' who promise heaven and earth to help make their dreams come true. For example, the banker who promises to loan you money to start your business, the rich man who wants to support your fledgling snacks shop, the politician who wants to help you move from your one-bedroomed shack to a three bed-roomed house in Maitama, may be 'he-goats' just waiting to eat your yam, in return for nothing more than empty promises! If it sounds too good to be true, it is too good to be true!

A way out

One way to avert trouble may be to involve someone else in your discussions. A second party you trust, a friend, a family member or your pastor may be engaged to listen to the plans and offer advice. Hidden meetings and secret rendezvous should be avoided, especially if shrouded and cloaked with night.

However, as a really sensible woman also told me, being content with what you have and your current station in life is the real key to avoiding the unwelcome attention of ravenous wolves. Greed begets greed and a false sense of entitlement is the real problem that labels you as bait. If you want what the joneses have, then you lay yourself open to manipulation, deception and falsity. Be content and stay true to yourself.

Mothers will also do well to educate their daughters on the dangers of older men with sweet tongues dripping with fake promises. Encourage your daughters to confide in you, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. 

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