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One Word That Can End A Friendship

~TheGuardian, Nigerian.

We all have friends and we all know how important it is to have friends for the various reasons that we do; be it for reasons like networking, social life or for the sake of having a life partner. Yes, sometimes they support, encourage and stick with us through thick or thin but there is one major thing that can turn a good and lively friendship into a sour tale of strangers. Can you guess it? it has the following meaning:
  1. to be actively and attentively engaged in work or a pastime
  2. not at leisure; otherwise engaged
Yes, you guessed it. The one word that can trigger the end or terminate a friendship/relationship is "busy". It's the one word that's driving away your friends and you immediately need to remove it from your vocabulary. To you it may seem fine because you may be at work or occupied at the present time but nobody likes to hear these words:

"I'd love to hang out! But I'm really busy."

"Sorry I didn't get back to you earlier! I've been so busy."

"What's going on with me? Just busy as usual!"

Truthfully, there is nothing wrong in being busy, people can actually have a ton of things to do and still maintain a great relationship. It's not the work that is bothering, it's the word "busy". The word busy makes the other person feel like there is something more important at that present time to do than engaging in the activity in which they would like to do with you,indirectly letting the person know their place in your social scale of preference.

Let's see some other alternatives to telling someone you are "busy":
  • Telling them the actual reason you can't meet with them
Be specific with your reason. The easiest way to turn a friend down without hurting their feelings is telling them the real reason you can't meet with them. For instance, a friend invites you for his/her birthday party, writing back "i'dlove to but i'mreally busy" is simply rejecting your friend but saying "i'd love to but Yemi has his office dinner and he want's me to be there this time, i have turned him down twice already. Have a glass of champagne for me. Happy birthday". That's a much nicer way that explains why you can't meet up andyour friend knows you have his/herbest interest at heart.

  • Create a time frame/schedule
Instead of a direct rejection with the words "i'm busy", why not reschedule or set a time where you know you can be free to meet with them. You know you would be occupied at work for the next 2 weeks why not schedule to meet after that. Even if your work turns out to be longer than expected, your friends would not mind rescheduling because you have expressed the desire to still meet with them.

Everyone needs a life out of work, a social life. Yes, work is essential but it's also important to have a social sense of belonging with people who eventually turn out to be like family to you. So why not try saying goodbye to "busy" and see how things turn out.

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