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Between sexual fantasies and reality

Written by Yetunde Arebi
~Vanguard Nigeria. Monday, November 14, 2016.

Socially deviant sexual acts, date back to Biblical days with detailed records of several sexual acts as captured in the stories of Lot, the brother of Abraham and his wife and Lot's exit from the land of Sodom and Gomorah. Another story of incest was recorded in the story of Noah and his daughters. David's daughter, Tamarah also suffered the trauma of rape and incest in the hands of her brother.

All these were acts of sin before God and man considered them socially deviant. All the same they remained in the fabrics of society, underground acts to be performed under the cloak of darkness, behind tightly shut doors and princely parlours for the rich and powerful. Even as God forbade them, men enacted laws and punishments for those caught in the act of defiling the land and abusing their bodies and destroying the soul of society.

Yet, nothing seem capable of whipping us back into line and curtailing our wild imaginations. If you are one of those who think sex is a simple act performed between a man and a woman and that the missionary position is the most conventional and acceptable, you are in for a big surprise.

Almost on a daily basis, you get to read about all sorts of socially deviant sexual behaviours, some even involving so called men of God. While adultery, rape and incest seem to top the list, there are several other more shocking acts taking place, many shrouded in secrecy. For instance, sometime last year, 2015, stories broke about America's golden black boy, Bill Cosby and his alleged rape accusations.

It was revealed that over a dozen women at various times spanning almost three decades have accused him of luring them into apartments and sexually assaulting them. A peculiar feature in the manner of assault is that they all claim they were drugged. They recounted how they got to the apartments and were served drink meant to make them relax, only to discover that they had been violated on waking up from their forced state of stupor.

Some others claimed that they were awake and could feel him working on them but felt too week and lethargic to wave him off. Many of the accusations except, perhaps one, have passed the statutory period of prosecution and so will not be sending Cosby to jail. Nonetheless, the acts described and ascribed to him are what they call Somnophilia. It is also known as the sleeping princess syndrome, it is a fetish for asleep or unconscious sex partners. A depraved act of someone who wants to have all the fun but does not want to be seen as interested or indulging in such act.

Sexual perversions are conditions in which sexual excitement or orgasm is associated with acts or imagery that are unusual within the culture. This is because perpetrators do not adopt the use of acceptable sexual fantasy, activity or object to heighten their sexual excitement except those that bring distress or impairment to them and others. There are many sexually deviant behaviours or sexual perversions and all stem from a point of social and psychological dysfunction.

While many of us may want to turn up our noses at these acts and especially at the people caught doing them, it only reinforces the fact that these are human flaws and that some of them really need help (medical and psychological) to get through. If we look carefully around us, we might just discover that some of these behaviours, though shocking are happening all around us and you may just know a couple of them.

The most common sexual perversions known to man include but are not limited to:

Paedophilia: This is described as the need for sex with under aged individuals. This has continued to generate interesting discourse in our society. In a country ruled under two laws, the Sharia and the constitution, this is a very difficult problem to tackle decisively. The recent case of Ese Duru, a 13 year old girl alleged to have been abducted and forcefully married to a 24 year old man still rings loudly in our ears. In fact, her classic case unearthed a couple of other similar cases of abduction involving highly positioned men in the society.

Frotteurism: This is a sexual act involving touching and rubbing against a non consenting person. Many young women who commute by public transportation would probably have fallen victim of such men, especially if you have to stand in a bus. I once witnessed a scuffle between a scrawny looking man and a well endowed, curvy middle aged woman (attack and defence) in a "Molue" bus from CMS to Barracks bus stop.

The lady and the man were eventually thrown out of the bus at Stadium bus stop because the lady refused to accept his apology and the pleading of other passengers on his behalf. (Trust Nigerians! sometimes, I think we can even plead for the devil) His offence? He had eventually ejaculated on the woman's clothes after series of warning that he should keep his distance from her.

Exhibitionist: This is one who loves to expose his/her private parts in public. Unfortunately, I strongly doubt if this will count for an offence in another decade or so because it seems we are now all interested in outdoing one another in displaying who is better endowed in the name of being fashionable.

This is not to mention the series of willfully taken pictures in various stages of nudity that are available on the internet! On the heels of this are people suffering from Autagonistophilia. This is the act of having people spy on you while naked or having sex. While the exhibitionist draw the attention of unsuspecting victims, the autagonistophilia beckons to them by placing themselves in positions where they can easily be seen, such as leaving the door or window slightly open while having sex.

Agrexophilia: A fetish for having other people know about your sexual activities. This can include people with Agoraphilia, those who like to have loud sex, exhibitionists, people who like to put their homemade sex tapes online, or those who simply like to brag about their conquests. The typical kiss and tell lovers.

Allorgasmia: A fetish for fantasizing about someone other than your current partner. This has however been cited as one of the methods one may adopt to jolt up a dwindling sexual excitement. This is common among married couples, especially men.

Air Inflation: A dangerous fetish, this usually involves the fantasy of inflating a person with a bicycle pump to a comically large size. Air is pumped into their partner's anus to create a bulging belly and a feeling of fullness. This practice is not without risk and is one of the most common types of inflation fetish. A similar fetish involves the physical feeding of the partner to develop an overweight or obese.

Devotee: These are people with fetish for disabled people. Teratophila is a broader term which includes sex with monstrous people. A very randy friend of my friend once shared some of his notorious escapades, describing how he'd had sex with a cripple and another time with a lady with hunch back out of curiosity. His, might have been a one off thing but there are people who actually only go out of their way to hook up with disabled people. As long as no one gets hurt, this should not pose as a problem, I believe.

Asphyxiophilia: This is a fetish for being suffocated or chocked during sex. This act is used to trigger more intense orgasm. In extreme case known as Autassassinophilia, the act often brings them to the brink of death.

Hobosexualism: This may aptly describe men who sleep with the maids. This is a preference for poor or dirty sex partners and many attributes account for this, including the thrill of doing something wrong or the perception that dirtier sex partners will be better for freakier sex acts. They will be easy to manipulate.

Necrophilia: This captures all those stories we have read or been told about mortuary attendants who are said to have sexual relations with corpses in their care. Necrophilia is simply that.

Zoophilia: This is common with BDMS practice. It describes the fetish of acting, dressing and being treated like an animal of choice. This may involve walking on all fours, wearing a collar and even eating out of pet bowls. A Zoosexual person prefers sexual intercourse with animals. This is also known as bestialism.

Scatophilia: This is perhaps one of the grossest things I have ever come across in my adult life. About two years ago, a contact shared a video of a man being excreted upon by a female partner. The horrible part of it was that it was right in his mouth and the guy lay there, chewed it up like he was eating chocolate. I still puke anytime I remember the act. But as they say, one man's meat is another man's poison. A lesser version of this is the urine fetish (Urolagnia) which is also consumed, besides spraying it on the body.

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