~The SUN Nigeria. Sunday, November 5, 2017.
The beginning of a relationship is supposed to be easy. You both have these hormones surging through you that make everything feel so light, easy, radiant, and exciting.
You are walking on cloud nine. Life somehow feels better than usual and you are always smiling. You brush off little things that would normally bother you in the beginning of a relationship.
You really shouldn't be fighting much in a new relationship. If you are, then you are just in the wrong relationship. If you are fighting in the beginning of a relationship, you should be concerned. How are you going to be when the high of the new relationship wears off?
You shouldn't be having the problems mentioned below in your new relationship.
Making time for each other
If a new relationship is healthy and on the right track, you make time for each other, even if there isn't any. You lose a couple of hours of sleep if those hours are the only time you can be together. Being together a lot, in the beginning, is how you build the foundation of your relationship.
You can't build a relationship with somebody who takes days to respond to a text, doesn't answer calls, and just generally doesn't communicate with you. If you are bickering in a new relationship about phone etiquette, the thing you have may not stand a chance.
Cancelling at the last minute, failing to schedule things in advance, double booking-things like this should not happen in the beginning of a relationship. If somebody cannot just work you into their calendar or give you a simple yes or no answer about dinner now, then he or she will be a ghost of a partner down the line.
Core value disagreements
Do not write off disagreements about core values. These can include things like how you treat people, what place family should hold in your life, and the significance of money. If you have heated arguments about your core values and beliefs, you are in for a difficult relationship. It doesn't matter if you have the same sense of humour if, ultimately, you don't think your partner is a good person.
Selfishness about activities
You are supposed to be so excited about being together in the beginning that you will do anything just to hang out. So if your brand spanking new partner won't go with you to a cinema because it's "not his thing," something is off. Is your company not his thing?
Making no effort on date night
Planning elaborate and unique dates for five years straight just isn't plausible. But doing so for five months is not only plausible-it's mandatory! If you feel that your lover puts little effort into dates, just half a year into a relationship, you are in for a real shocker later.
Missing in action during disagreements
We aren't at our best during disagreements. And, once you have been together for a while, you lose the energy to be mature during fights. So you might just walk out the door, or go get drunk with friends when you are fighting with your partner. But this type of behaviour shouldn't happen in a new relationship. You should still have the motivation to work out fights in a new relationship.
Putting you last
Putting each other first in the beginning of a relationship is an important part of forming a bond. So if you always come last for your boyfriend of half a year, that's a problem. How are you supposed to build a foundation, and help each other see that you'll always have each other's backs?
If you are fighting about your future, like whether or not to have kids, where to live, who will work if you have kids, how much to spend on a house and so on, that's just odd. Why are you talking about this a few months into a relationship? You are moving too fast.
Losing temper quickly
You are supposed to have nearly unlimited patience for a new partner. Those lovey-dovey hormones are supposed to soothe you into complacency and wanting to see the good in everything your partner does. So if your partner loses temper with you a few months in, that means they have some anger problems. Things will only be worse later.