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Sex toy: A handy helpmate

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, June 10, 2018.

Sex toys are still largely shrouded in certain social taboos in many cultures, especially in this part of the world. This however, does not come as a surprise since many people still find it difficult to discuss sex and sexuality issues even privately, not to think of expressing their sexuality, preferences and pleasures in the open. However, this has not stopped the growing market and demand for sex toys from fast gaining ground in Nigeria. This is because more people, especially the young are now more educated, thus enlightened and are more open minded and free to embrace their sexuality.
Simply put, sex toys are man-made instruments designed to enhance human sexual experiences. There are various arguments against the use of sex toys, many of them sexist, self centred, myopic and perhaps parochial. Of the most ridiculous, being that once a woman gets used to using a vibrator, she will have no need for the real thing.

I compare this with our God given legs and their natural ability of movement, taking us from one point to another and the manufacture of cars or various types of transportation also designed to take us from one place to another by man. Now, you have the option of walking to your destination, anytime, anywhere and under any circumstance or simply making things easy, comfortable and pleasurable by taking an appropriate and affordable mode of transportation to your destination. While the choice to either walk or go by transportation remains yours, opting for this instrument for movement does not render your legs useless but assisting your body to perform better and reach your desired destination faster. Nor does acquiring a mode of transportation mean that you will have no need for your legs again or that they will lose the ability to walk. A joke I once read on one of the social media platforms comes to mind.

The conversation was supposedly between a Jamaican Taxi driver and a Muslim male passenger. The man on boarding demanded that the music be turned off because he does not listen to it. He went on to explain that it was a religious injunction because in the time of the great prophet Muhammad (pboh) there was no music or radio. The taxi driver turned off the radio then parked the car a few meters after. He then opened the car door and asked the passenger to get down. Puzzled, he asked the driver what happened and why he was being ushered out of the car. The driver then replied him that, "in the time of the prophet, there were no taxis, so come out of my taxi and wait for a camel". The simple truth is that times have changed and are still changing. The goal is to get to your desired destination (sexual fulfilment/satisfaction), how you get there is your business, so long you are not hurting anyone.

While everything has its merits and demerits, the truth is that sex toys make our sexual efforts easier, faster, more pleasurable and colourful, no matter how uncreative an individual can be. There are several ways sex toys can enhance people's sexual lives as individuals and couples, just as there are many sex toys designed for various parts of the body. As a couple, using sex toys together or alone can help you attain a high level of communication, openness, trust and love for your partner.

If you have read the book, Fifty shades of grey, written by E.L. James, it might help you gain better perspective of the use of sex toys and its possible effects on your sexual life. Indeed, Washington Post quoted the book as having improved women's sexual health and wellness, supercharging their sexual drive, while the Sun newspaper said it has "changed our sex life forever". A survey carried out by popular women's magazine, Cosmopolitan also said that the book has caused a dramatic increase in the sales of sex toys which appeared in the book. I found it so delicious I have read all three books twice over. If you are still in doubt, let's go through a few of the good things a sex toy can do for you and your partner.


Perhaps, one of the most criticised functions of sex toys is the liberation and freedom they are capable of giving to the user. With sex toys, you do not need a partner, especially for women. You can give yourself countless orgasm, anytime and anywhere based on your preference. If you are single or in-between partners, you can still spice up your "alone time" with a sex toy. Also, for the individuals who are not familiar with their bodies and/or do not know what their preferences are, sex toys can help them discover themselves and what will tickle their fancy. Vibrators can be a great way to explore your body, especially for those of us women, who have never been given the opportunity or permission to explore being sexual. The sex toy will help you tap into yourself without feeling overly pressured, uncomfortable or embarrassed about yourself. Remember, you cannot give what you don't have. Therefore, you cannot tell your partner what and how you want him to give you pleasure if you don't know what will make you feel good in the first instance. The guy is no magician, you know. Your knowledge will surely make you a more confident lover and you can call the shots too.

Longer sessions

It is a fact that men are easily aroused than women. It is also a fact that men find it easier and quicker to reach their sexual pleasure peak than women. Indeed, studies have it that about 75% of women do not achieve orgasm with sexual intercourse alone. Many women need additional stimulation to other parts of their sex organs before they can reach their climax. Sex toys will provide all the extras you need to get your woman to that desired but seemingly elusive place. It will help reduce the amount of time you spend on endless and perhaps not so intense foreplay. A guy with premature ejaculation problem can also prolong his erection with a sex toy. Sex toys allow a man to stimulate his woman quickly in the beginning to the point that she is already done before or after he climaxes, ensuring that she is satisfied. What this means is that sex toys can help longer sex without getting tired. Sex toys will also take care of fatigue and cramping as a result of doing the same thing for a long time. This may happen when you have to do something to your partner or yourself but find that your fingers, hands, neck, back, mouth or legs are tired and even cramping. Sex toys will give you the opportunity to continue pleasuring your partner without much pain or strain.

More sex positions

For the man especially, the ability to provide great sex depends on stamina and technique. We all know that many of the great sex positions are not for the floppy and faint hearted. Sex toys will provide you the opportunity to try out as many positions as you desire without too much stress. They are also good for partners with disabilities that may affect the performance of normal sexual activities. If you have the unedited version of the Kama Sutra, have no fear. With the right sex toy, most of them will come so natural to you.

Break routine

The normal routines of life and its challenges often take its toil on the sex life of many couples. This is especially so for couples in commitments (marriage) and long term relationships where familiarity and complacency often set in, with negative effects on intimacy. Thus, for many couples, sex becomes a right, chore, duty or weapon, losing meaning and intensity. If you are looking for ways to jazz up your sex life, pick up a sex toy and try something new. Vibrators will help you shake things.

Live your fantasy

Many of us have them. Dreams of those things we imagine will give us great sexual pleasures were they to happen in real life. For instance, being rescued and whisked away by a tall, lanky guy into some palatial mansion to live with him in sexual bliss forever. Or it could be your crush on the sexy school Nurse or pretty class Teacher. Or perhaps you long to be taken on a table top treat, or captured by a sex god to some lonely island. Sex toys and props can help you enact and live out all of your fantasies over and over again. You can explore different scenarios of your choice; try doing the bondage or simulating a threesome without an actual third person, or be whoever you want in the confines of your home. Remember, so long as you are not hurting anyone, you have a right to your sex life.

Alternate size and targets

With sex toys, you have a range of different sizes and shapes at your disposal to choose from. If your partner is lacking the size or length that you feel is adequate, there are toys to help achieve your preference without subjecting him to the risks of popping pills or going under the knife for enhancement surgeries. Same thing for the male partner with an endless range of dolls to choose from. They also come in various shapes and textures to suit your preference. This is in addition to the bonus of vibrating! Be sure there can be no dull moment with the right toys. Do have a wonderful weekend!!

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