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Problems you shouldn't have in new relationships?

~The SUN Nigeria. Sunday, November 5, 2017.

The beginning of a relationship is supposed to be easy. You both have these hormones surging through you that make everything feel so light, easy, radiant, and exciting.
You are walking on cloud nine. Life somehow feels better than usual and you are always smiling. You brush off little things that would normally bother you in the beginning of a relationship.

You really shouldn't be fighting much in a new relationship. If you are, then you are just in the wrong relationship. If you are fighting in the beginning of a relationship, you should be concerned. How are you going to be when the high of the new relationship wears off?
You shouldn't be having the problems mentioned below in your new relationship.

Making time for each other
If a new relationship is healthy and on the right track, you make time for each other, even if there isn't any. You lose a couple of hours of sleep if those hours are the only time you can be together. Being together a lot, in the beginning, is how you build the foundation of your relationship.

You can't build a relationship with somebody who takes days to respond to a text, doesn't answer calls, and just generally doesn't communicate with you. If you are bickering in a new relationship about phone etiquette, the thing you have may not stand a chance.

Cancelling at the last minute, failing to schedule things in advance, double booking-things like this should not happen in the beginning of a relationship. If somebody cannot just work you into their calendar or give you a simple yes or no answer about dinner now, then he or she will be a ghost of a partner down the line.

How to have fun when all the kids have left home – Bunmi Sofola

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, November 5, 2017.

Do you feel lost and lonely now that your children have flown the nest? Are you strangely missing the piles of dirty washing and the blaring of music or are you too busy turning a grotty bedroom into a cozy study, where you can relax in the afternoon with refreshments and a magazine? Or, are you thinking of letting part of the house for some easy cash?

New research has revealed that in order to cope with empty-nest syndrome, many parents are giving their homes a make over soon after their youngsters move out. Almost 30 per cent start renovating within two months of their children leaving, according to a survey carried out by Zurich Insurance, a third redecorate their child's old room, while the same number go further and transform it into a study or holiday room. Some even revamp the whole house.

So what makes people quick to reach for their paintbrushes once their kids go off to university or set up home with friends or a partner? More than half of those who took part in the survey said they wanted to reflect the change in family life. Experts agree that after years of children drawing on the walls and leaving dirty plates under beds, many parents are happy to have the chance to make their homes their own again.

"Children may well bully their parents into letting them redecorate their own rooms and even other parts of the house," says Philliop Hodson, a counselling psychotherapist. Some parents lose part of their identities. They have to wait a long time to get their house back. Then they can make it smarter. Renovating can help parents rediscover their identities.

Once a child's bedroom is yours again, it's natural to want to mark your territory. There's an itch to get in there and sort it all out. It's like moving into a new house. Even if it's been beautifully decorated, you still want to change things to make it yours. However, in some cases, there may be another reason why parents get the urge to decorate. You may be trying to fill time because you're missing the children. But what if your son or daughter wants to move back in? Will they be happy to sleep in the couch because their room is now for worship?

"Children are likely to feel disappointed when the house is not their childhood home any more." Says Hodson: "They might feel a bit hurt and pushed out and think that you couldn't wait to be rid of them. Does that mean you should restrain yourself from covering the black walls in your son's bedroom with brighter paint? Not really. As parents, you have to get on with your own lives, so you shouldn't be sentimental. When your child moves out, explain that there will always be a room for them-but it will be the guest room."

Was she sex mad – or was it the drugs?

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, September 17, 2017.

SEX is supposed to be demystified so youths don't feel guilty for taking part in something that follows naturally when you're in love – and you're sure you're loved back. These days, you hear and see clips of sexual encounters that make your toes curl! Mahmud, 32 and his current girlfriend Julie were to join another couple for a weekend drinking spree when he wished he never agreed to an evening that turned out to be a disaster. "The couple were Anna and Thomas.

Thomas is a cousin and Anna an ex-girlfriend he was now dating,"explained Mahmud.

"Anna had always been sex mad and didn't mind who she hurt as long as she had regular sex. After a string of infidelity,1 decided to cut my loses. But it didn't take her long to hitch on to Thomas who was six years her junior. And she had no qualms dating him. She loved to flaunt her toyboy and they'd been together nine months. As soon as we got to Anna's flat, she was locked in red-hot kisses with Thomas. 'I can't keep my hands off him, ' she bragged whilst he looked embarrassed.

What made things even more uncomfortable for me was that Anna was my ex. We'd dated as teenagers for over two years until I realised she'd gone through most of my friends. But I wasn't jealous, I was glad she was out of my life.

"She continued with groping the poor boy. 'I can't wait to get you naked,' she whispered, loud enough for us to hear. 'Then looking directly at me, she licked her lips. I could see Julie was annoyed. 'Why don't you take things upstairs?' she said coldly. Anna took that as a cue to pull Thomas toward the bedroom. Then all went really quiet. 'Do you still fancy her'?' Julie wanted to know after they'd disappeared. 1 assured her Anna was the least of my problems. All of a sudden, the bed began to creak. Then the creaks became bangs – the headboard crashing against the wall. Muffled groans and squeals drifted from the bedroom.

It was so funny we burst out laughing. Did they have no shame? Then an almighty crash rang out, followed by Anna's shout. 'The bed's broken.' she yelled.

Thomas came through the bedroom door, shamed-faced before crashing on the couch. He promptly fell asleep in a drunken state. It wasn't long before Anna rust into the room. We both stared at her, horrified – she was stark-naked! She was waving her arms, her fleshy boobs and buttocks jiggling. We broke the bed!' she repeated proudly. Thomas, poor boy, got up to leave but Anna blocked him, grinning lasciviously.

'You're going nowhere,' she ordered, things are just warming up: Thomas ran for the door but Anna raced after him. But he was already out on the street.

56 countries, 9 states indicate interest in FESTAC"77@40 - CBAAC DG

~Vanguard Nigeria. Wednesday, October 25, 2017.

Fifty-six countries and nine states have indicated interest to participate in the one weeklong commemoration of FESTAC"77@40 beginning on Nov.6 in Lagos.

Dr Ferdinand Anikwe, the Director-General, Centre for Black Arts and African Civilisation (CBAAC), told newsmen in Lagos that the seven-day programme would end on Nov.11.

Newsmen report that Nigeria hosted the first World Blacks and African Festival of Arts and Culture (FESTAC) in 1977 at the National Theatre Complex, Iganmu, Lagos.

Newsmen report that Nigeria's hosting of the FESTAC led to the building of FESTAC Town by the Federal Government then for guests and participants from different parts of the world.

Anikwe said: "We have finally decided to kick start the commemoration of FESTAC"77@40.

"We will be using the University of Lagos Sports Complex, National Theatre Complex, the Federal Housing Authority Field, Festac Town and Golden Tulip Hotel.

"The objective of the festival is to seek and re-establish the culture and confidence of the black and African races.

"It will also offer platform and intensify campaign for continue cultural exchange, understanding and unity amongst black and African countries and communities."

The director-general said that the centre was collaborating with UNESCO, Bank of Industry, Festac Town residents, Coca-cola among others, for the celebration.

According to him, activities lined up include: International Symposium, Colloquium, documentary on internalising the spirit of FESTAC "77, traditional wrestling competition and beauty pageant.

Others are: visit to tourist sites, cultural performances, exhibitions and African Food Fair by participating countries, states and organisations in Nigeria and Gala Night.

He said that Dr Ahmadu Ali, who was also the chairman of the festival in 1977, would also chairman the opening ceremony.

Anikwe said that former President Olusegun Obasanjo would be crowned "Ruby King of FESTAC" and "Patron of African Culture" for his contributions to the promotion and development of African culture and heritage.

"He will be crowned by the Ooni of Ife, His Royal Majesty, Oba Adeyeye Ogunwusi, the Ojaja1," the CBAAC director-general said...

Anikwe said that Prof. Union Edebiri from the University of Benin in Edo, would present the keynote address at the event.


The wonderful healing power of cruciferous vegetables

TheGuardian Nigeria. Thursday, October 26, 2017.

The cruciferous vegetables like most vegetables loaded with phytochemicals (phytonutrients) are vegetables that can either reduce the risk of occurrence of some chronic degenerative diseases, including cancer or can actually heal. The cruciferous vegetables belong to the family of plants known as Brassicaceae. Their name, cruciferous is derived from the arrangement of the four petals of their flower, like the cross.

The following are the vegetables in this group that are commonly found in this country: Broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, kale and water cress. All these vegetables are rich in vitamins such as Vitamins C, K, B2, B6 and folic acid. Also found in them are minerals such as potassium, magnesium and the potent antioxidant selenium. They are also a rich source of soluble fiber and plant based Omega 3s.

Cruciferous vegetables contain other nutrients and phytochemicals that make them potential anticancer agents. These phytochemicals which belong to the group known as isothiocyanates are the 3,3′ diindolylmethane, sulphoraphane, and selenium. With these vitamins, minerals and phytonutrients, the cruciferous vegetables help to lower the risk of diseases such as cancer and cardiovascular disease; they are both preventive and curative. These vegetables do these in the following ways:

1. They stop the growth of cancer cells in tumours of the breast, endometrium (the inner lining of the womb), lung, colon, liver and cervix.

2. The phytochemical, sulphoraphane stimulates enzymes in the body that detoxify carcinogens before they cause damage to the cells.

3. They reduce oxidative stress (overload of free radicals which destroy cells and their contents – DNA, causing cancer).

4. In combination with fish oils, the cruciferous vegetables help to protect against cardiovascular diseases.

Eight habits that fuel impotence

Tunde Ajaja
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, October 29, 2017.

Based on findings, one of men's worst sexual problems is impotence. It is a type of sexual dysfunction characterised by the inability of the man to develop or maintain an erection firm enough for sexual intercourse.

Beyond the fact that it reduces man's self esteem, it impairs a man's ability to have sexual intercourse and more importantly, it also reduces the likelihood of the man being able to impregnate a woman. But the good news is that it is curable.

However, given the serious impact it has on the sexual wellness of a man, it is important to point out that there are certain habits that fuel this dysfunction, and these include:

Diet: It should first be noted that the turgidity of the penis is dependent on blood flow and so it is only helpful when people eat the food that would aid blood flow in their system. WebMD, a website that provides valuable health information and tools for managing health, pointed out that the kind of diet or eating pattern that could cause heart attack due to restricted blood flow would also obstruct the flow of blood to the penis, especially when blood flow is needed for the penis to be erect. Therefore, to avoid impotence, men are advised to take fruits, vegetables, fish, red wine, whole grains and heart-healthy fats like nuts. "Anything that is bad for a man's heart is also bad for his penis," an associate professor of clinical urology, Andrew McCullough, said.

Obesity: Another factor that can cause impotence is obesity. According to WebMD, overweight is a risk factor for diabetes, which could cause nerve damage in some parts of the body. However, if one of the nerves that have links with the penis is damaged, it could affect the sensitivity of the penis, resulting in erectile dysfunction. Also, diabetes has been found to be one of the endocrine diseases that impede blood flow and that can also affect blood flow to the penis. Also, people that are obese tend to have high level of visceral fat which has been linked to lower testosterone.

Lack of exercise: Exercise has been found to add great benefits to the body, including increased blood circulation in the body. In fact, exercise has been found to boost libido due to the increased blood flow. On the other hand, inactive or deskbound lifestyle has been found to cause erectile dysfunction. However, people are also advised to be cautious of the kind of exercise they engage in and this is because any form of exercise, like cycling, that puts enormous pressure on the area between the scrotum and anus could affect the nerves and vessels that have links with the penis, leading to erectile dysfunction.

Nollywood is demonizing the Nigerian culture

Azuka Onwuka
Twitter: @BrandAzuka
Azuka Onwuka
~Punch Nigeria. Tuesday, October 31, 2017

The Nigerian film industry, popularly called Nollywood, has been a big source of pride since it officially took off in 1992 with the production of Living in Bondage. It has provided wealth, fame and prestige to Nigeria and thousands of Nigerians.

Ironically, right from Living in Bondage, producers of Nigerian movies have tended to cast the Nigerian traditional life as evil, as well as portraying Nigerians as people who make their money through the power of the occult and human sacrifice.

The reason Chinua Achebe wrote Things Fall Apart and Arrow of God was to present a balanced view of the African life before the advent of the European colonialists, thereby puncturing the negative portrayal of Africa by Europe as barbarians. Achebe did not seek to glorify Africa; rather, he chose to present a society that was not irrational or lawless, even though it had its flaws.

Sadly, many Nollywood writers and producers have adopted the neo-colonial mindset in their films which focus on Nigerian traditional ways of life. For the sake of specificity, I will focus on Igbo culture in this discourse.

Anytime a Nigerian film focuses on an Igbo village as well as the city, there are some constant narratives: 1. The village is the home of poverty, while the city is the place of wealth and good life. 2. The village is the home of witches and wizards while the city is the home of good men and women. 3. The traditional religion in the village is evil but the Christian religion in the city is the good that always overcomes the darkness in the village. 4. The village is a lawless society where one man can seize the property of anybody, especially widows, with nobody stopping him except by divine intervention, while the city is the land of order.

It has become a joke passed around that once you see an actor like Pete Edochie or Chinwetalu Agu in a film set in a traditional Igbo community, a widow will be dealt with mercilessly. Her goats and chickens will be confiscated in broad daylight. She will be barred from farming on her husband’s lands. Sometimes, the terror is a king in an Igbo community that acts as he wishes, confiscating people’s property as well as daughters and wives, arresting people and even killing some.

One is forced to ask: In which fairy Igbo village do these things happen? If they were old events, in which fairy Igbo society did these things happen?

In the distant Igbo past, a girl could be pushed into a marriage with threats by her parents, but no girl could be forced into a marriage if she chose not to marry a particular man. During the marriage introduction, a girl was expected to visit the bridegroom’s home and spend at least four market days with the mother of the bridegroom, without any sexual relations with the bridegroom. This was the opportunity for her to be studied by the prospective groom’s family and for her to study the man’s family. If she returned and said she did not like the family or the man, the marriage would not proceed.

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