Search this Site and the Web.

Tribal considerations in choosing a spouse

DOLAPO AKITOYE writes about the roles tribal factors play in choosing a spouse
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, April 22, 2018.

Culture has always been an important part of the Nigerian society. It governs the way people live their lives. Culture encompasses many aspects of life such as language, food, religion and ways of life. Nigeria is known as the most populous African country with over 300 tribes. It is little wonder that it is referred to as the Giant of Africa.

Every Nigerian citizen belongs to a tribe and members of that tribe incorporate parts of their tribal aspects in their lives including marriage. Marriage is one of the oldest institutions in the world and it involves the coming together of a man and a woman to become one. This means that the two people come together to merge not only themselves but everything relating to them plus their cultures.

It is not uncommon in Nigeria to see families insisting that their children marry from their tribes.

A psychologist at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, Dr. Val Eze, said in the past, especially during the pre-colonial era, ethnic affiliation rooted in traditional, cultural and religious ethos, directed how people selected their partners.

He explained that such was important at the time because the fact that somebody came from a certain tribe had some socio-cultural implications.

Eze stated, "The way a certain group of people behave is determined by their culture, traditions and their social ways of living. If that is the case, it means that an ethnic group is known for certain deviant or anti-social behaviour. It was believed in those times that if a person was chosen from that tribe, he or she might have those traits.''

He added that these cultural tenets were no longer as they used to be due to globalisation and modernity.

"These days, people can meet each other and decide to get married, regardless of tribe, even if their parents refuse," he said.

An Igbo lady, Ada Okoli, who is set to marry a Yoruba man this year, told SUNDAY PUNCH that tribe or ethnicity could not be a factor for her in selecting a partner.

"I've never really cared about that. I'm more interested in who my partner is as opposed to where he comes from," she stated.

Adieu, Winifred Mandela

Written by Oshisada - a veteran journalist, wrote from Ikorodu, Lagos Nigeria.
~The Guardian Nigeria. Friday, April 13, 2018>

Before I eventually decided to write on Mrs. Winifred Madikizela Madela who recently translated, to the Great Beyond, one question repeatedly exercised my mind: "Is it necessary to write a tribute about her?"

Two principles decided my conclusion: "It is better to err on the side of forgiveness", and also: "To err is human, to forgive is Divine".

Therefore, I chose to forget whatever misdeeds that she might have committed towards the end of her turbulent matrimony with her legendary husband, Nelson Mandela Besides, only the Almighty can forgive us our trespasses.

On April 2, 2018, at the Netcare Milpark Hospital, Johannesburg, South Africa, Mrs. Winifred Mandela breathed her last, as a result of a long term illness, Life is journey.

And the couple's martial life was a dramatic irony because neither of them ever envisaged their separation at the time that it occurred. How did the martial relationship begin? According to Nelson, in his life time, they met one afternoon.

"As I drove a friend of mine from Orlando to medical school at the University of the Witwatersrand, passing a bus stop, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a lovely young woman waiting at a bus stop.

Struck by her beauty and I turned my head to get a better look at her, but I had gone by too fast. Her face stayed with me and considered turning around to drive by her in other direction, but I went on."

Weeks after, by a miraculous coincidence, Nelson Mandela met the young woman again at the law chambers of Oliver Tambo who introduced him to her and her brother, with the explanation that they were on a legal matter. That was the beginning of the relationship between Nelson and Namizamo Winifred Madikizula.

She attended Jan Hofmeyr School of Social Work in Johannesburg and was working as the First Black female social worker at Baragwanah Hospital.

Dear Bunmi (Relationships, Family, Sex and Life, Romance...) : Dad married late mum's best friend



Topics:

Dear Bunmi, 
  • Dad married late mum's best friend
  • Should I tell her husband?
  • Hubby got my daughter pregnant
  • She's pregnant for man who raped me!
  • Is my boss ashamed of me?
  • I need to let him know I fancy him!
  • Friend tried to snatch my man
  • In love with a married mum
  • Why is he always texting in the toilet?
  • I prefer him as a lover
  • I need to break off with this old lover
  • Sister finds it difficult to cope with her divorce
  • He seems to like large-breasted women
  • Could he be cheating?
  • I live in fear my past could catch up with me
  • She’s harassing me because I dumped her
  • He's too big it hurts!
  • Is alcohol really good for a diabetic?
  • Afraid to dump this adulterer
  • I don’t feel sex is fun any more
  • Should I go for no string s3x?
  • He wants the kids to spend Xmas with him and the rich new wife
  • My friend's hubby is hot!
  • In love with my dead friend's husband

About Time You Knew Dad Too Had Something To Do With That Adorable New Baby!

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~vanguard nigeria. Sunday, April 15, 2018.

FINDINGS have shown that becoming a father is a major life event which changes family relationships, brings new responsibilities and has a major economic impact on the new parents.

Men have their own needs as new fathers, yet can also lack information about how they can support their partners. Michael 26, was totally unprepared for fatherhood when Sammy, his 23- year-old undergraduate wife suddenly discovered she was pregnant.

"Sammy and I had been together for two years when she got pregnant. She was studying to become a teacher and I'd just got a fairly good job after my youth service," explained Michael.

"Sammy told her parents and they informed mine. All of a sudden, wedding plans were being made – and it had to happen before the baby arrived. It didn't seem real. Marriage was the furtherest thought on my mind. I would have preferred we were both working but here was Sammy starting to look pregnant. Would our lives change much? Even though we both have caring families, my main worry was supporting the three of us on my new salary that was scarcely enough for my needs. Once in a while, I asked myself: 'What have I done?'

"The wedding was a blur – it was something I had to get over with. My worry now was the baby and how I'd cope with the birth. Would I let my new wife down by being too squeamish? In the end, our son's birth was the most powerful, moving event of my entire life. Like most new fathers, I was present at the birth and I'm not ashamed to admit I cried.

"When we brought the baby to our new flat, I felt a bit sidelined. The whole focus of both families was on the baby – and then my wife. No one seemed interested in me.

"It may sound selfish but my life had changed over-night too, and I had no idea what my new role was. I was a bit lost. Since then however, I've realised being a dad means getting on with it. And it's hard work, believe me. I had to learn to change nappies, prepare his food when he was weaned off breast milk and give him his bath when I could. We are lucky that our son is not one of the screamy type, still both of us are exhausted – no thanks to househelps who seem to up and go whenever they feel like it.

"But my wife and I are finding our feet, but I feel the pressure being the only wage earner. My mum and my wife's mum take turns looking after the baby when Sammy returned to schooL Her main worry is her post-baby stomach but I assure her always she looks good to me. Her body makes me love her even more – a proof she brought our child into the word. To be honest, I found the news I was going to be a dad scary and bewildering – but it is a wonderful experience. When my son, who now crawls all over the place, gives me his toothy smile, everything suddenly seems worth it. I know I have to do my best for him for the rst of my life. And that's something that comes naturally - eventually"!

Wife of Swazi king commits suicide

~Vanguard Nigeria. Tuesday, April 10, 2018.

Senteni Masango
The eighth wife of Swaziland King Mswati III, Ms Senteni Masango, has committed suicide, local media confirmed.

"The king's wife is believed to have overdosed on about 40 amitriptyline capsules - widely used to block the long-term (chronic) pain of some rheumatic conditions and treat depression and related disorders," online publication News24 reported.

Ms Masango - known as Inkhosikati LaMasango -was found dead early on Friday morning and she was buried on Sunday morning.

King Mswati III chose Ms Masango as his eighth bride in September 1999, when she was only 18.

It soon emerged she had a record for truancy, poor grades and she was a high-school dropout and a rebel.

Last year, King Mswati III, married his latest bride, Ms Siphelele Mashwama, who was aged 19 years.

It is a tradition for the Swazi King to choose a wife every year.

The Sherburne-educated king choses a new bride during the famous Reed Dance ceremony, also known as Umhlanga.

The Reed Dance ceremony is an annual Swazi and Zulu tradition held in August or September.

In Swaziland, tens of thousands of unmarried and childless girls and women travel from the various chiefdoms to participate in the eight-day event, and would-be brides are publicly checked to ascertain their virginity.

The Kingdom of Swaziland is one of the world's last remaining absolute monarchies.

King Mswati III was crowned in 1986 at the age of 18, succeeding his long-serving father King Sobhuza II, who died at the age of 82.

The king, now aged 50, who is known as Ngweyama - the lion - has many wives and often appears in public in traditional dress.

Our 'assets', a blessing and curse -Women with large boobs and bums

By Eric Dumo
Sunday, March 11, 2018
Daramola Salako

Adedoyin Ajayi is a young lady full of life. A small-scale business woman, her job allows her to
interact with persons from diverse backgrounds on a daily basis. Though she operates from the Ikosi area of Lagos, the 28-year-old constantly moves to different parts of the city to carry out transactions. But despite her frequent interactions with people, Ajayi likes to stay away from the limelight. Even though a very friendly person, certain elements have contributed to making her uncomfortable around strangers these days.

"I feel very uncomfortable with the stares I get from people, especially men whenever I am walking on the road," the young woman said, her face growing pale. "Once I emerge, people look at me as if they had seen a 'ghost'. Some, especially the men, even follow me about just to feed their eyes the more. It is a big problem for me," she added.

Endowed with large breasts and big buttocks, Ajayi's 'heavenly assets' are increasingly proving to be one of her biggest problems today. At only 28, what the Oyo State-born lady 'carries', can perhaps be imagined on most women two times her age, who after several child births would have added more flesh in these 'critical' regions. Besides the leg-crumbling stares she gets from people, the attention from men - old and young - has become a major source of concern for her.

"Sometimes I feel as if I had committed a big crime by having large buttocks and boobs," Ajayi cut in sharply during an encounter with our correspondent at a popular drinking joint around her neighbourhood earlier in the week. "There is nowhere I go to that people don't make me feel uncomfortable with their stares. As a matter of fact, I have had to cancel some movements simply because I want to save myself the emotional burden that comes with this problem. On several occasions, I have had to take a cab to certain places just to avoid being harassed by people, especially the men for my endowments.

"Apart from the kind of looks I get from people, the disturbance I get from men asking me out is enough for me to remain permanently indoors. A lot of times, when people like these can't get my contact, they go to look for me on Facebook to see if they search with my name maybe they can find me. But because I changed the spelling of my name on that platform, it is difficult for them to find me. I know this because some men who disturb me a lot confess to me that they went to find me on Facebook.

"Though I can handle the situation better now than I used to some years back, I still find it hard to cope with the different names men call me as a result of my big bum and breasts. Many of them promise me all sorts of things but because I know they are only lusting after my body, I don't give them a chance. This issue is a big problem for me," she said.

After over 20 years in US, Wisconsin man deported to West Africa for lack of right papers

~Punch Nigeria. Friday, March 9, 2018.
(Culled from USA Today)

After more than 20 years in the United States, a Wisconsin man was deported to West Africa earlier this week, a federal agency confirmed.

The process for his deportation was set in motion eight years ago when a judge ruled that he had overstayed his visa.

Buba Jabbi, 41, of Wisconsin Rapids was deported Tuesday and back in The Gambia by Wednesday afternoon, according to a U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement statement issued Wednesday.

Jabbi had entered the U.S. in 1995 and overstayed his visa. He was detained February 15 after checking in with federal authorities as he had been directed and was set for deportation based on a judge’s order from 2010.

A stay of removal had been filed on his behalf, but was denied February 27, according to Nicole Alberico, a public affairs officer with ICE.

Jabbi, the father of two daughters ages five and one, was being held at a detention centre in Sierra Blanca, Texas.

If necessary, Jabbi’s wife, Katrina Jabbi, a native of Wisconsin Rapids, said she would move her family almost 5,000 miles to The Gambia, a nation of about two million people that is almost twice the size of Delaware, to be with her husband.

“We have spent many years trying to rectify this situation,” Katrina Jabbi previously said. “I will continue to fight and file waivers if he is deported.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...