How to handle a cheating spouse

Written by MOTUNRAYO JOEL 
~Punch Nigeria. Monday, April 10, 2017. 

On June 4, 2015, Mrs. Bukola Yusuf (not real name), a mother of three stormed out of her house in shorts, "I was prepared to engage in a fight with the woman who 'stole' my husband's heart," she told our correspondent.

She said she was fed up with the woman who constantly called and sent messages to her husband's phone.

Yusuf said, "At midnight, my husband's phone would ring; whenever I confronted him about it, he would say, 'It is a useless woman disturbing my phone.' I believed him because I trusted him."

When she discovered that the lady disturbing her peace lived two streets away from hers, she became furious.

"That day-June 4, I was ready to fight; to put an end to everything. But my neighbours stopped me from storming the lady's house," she said.

Little did Yusuf know that her husband was having an affair with the lady. She didn't suspect because he promised her he would never cheat on her. He constantly reassured her of his undying love for her, and like every 'good' wife, she believed him.

"My husband does not have only one girlfriend, I heard he has several girlfriends. I almost lost my mind the period I discovered about his cheating lifestyle. I would cry for days; I felt worthless. He couldn't hold his emotions one night; he blatantly told me that he loves the woman that had been calling his phone. He confessed and said that they met some months ago and that he had been hiding it from me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings," she said.

Yusuf told SUNDAY PUNCH that her husband shares his time between her and his girlfriends.

Yusuf isn't the only one battling with a cheating spouse; Mrs. Toyin Oyebanjo (not real name) is paddling the same boat.

Oyebanjo believes her husband's 'womanising' nature started before they got married. She said she thought he would change.

"I have been married to him for 15 years; we separated for two years. It breaks my heart to say that I've not been happy in my marriage since I got married. People may say I was stupid for marrying him, knowing quite well that he can't remain with one woman. But I thought he would change; I thought his love for me would change him,'' she said.

Words on Marble - A collection of Quotes - page 2

Man is like a pencil in the hand of God. Therefore, why all the wahala. The killings, greed, hatred, corruption, avarice, suspicions etc. The owner of the universe can switch off now and every system will collapse. 
Man! rethink and digest the fact that we are just on a space trip. Try to appreciate your Creator!!

Benjamin Uyanwune, Swimming Pool Maker
~Amikwo Awka, Nigeria.

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"Men are so worried that marriage will leave them with “only one woman” for the rest of their lives. That’s simply not true. I fell in love with a 19-year-old rock climber, married a 20-year-old animal lover, started a family with a 24-year-old mother, then built a farm with a 25-year-old homemaker, and today I’m married to a 27-year-old woman of wisdom. If your mind is healthy, you’ll never get tired of “one woman”. You’ll actually become overwhelmed with how many beautiful versions of her you get to marry over the years. Don’t say no to marriage, say yes and keep saying yes until the day you die."
Dale Partridge
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"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it."
John Irving
Academy Award Winning Screenwriter and Novelist

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"Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking."
Marcus Aurelius
121-180, Roman Emperor and Philosopher

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"We all have to start with ourselves. It is time to walk the talk. Take the journey of making very difficult decisions. Start removing things from your life that are not filling your cup and adding things that bring joy in to your life."
Lisa Hammond
Author of
Dream Big 

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"Most people are so busy knocking themselves out trying to do everything they think they should, they never get around to do what they want to do."
Kathleen Winsor
1919-2003, Author

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"The big secret in life is that there is no secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you are willing to work. It is called massive action. Action is the gas in the tank. Without you, the car will not run."
Marcy Blochowiak
CEO Marketing Director with World Financial Group

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"Everybody is like a magnet. You attract to yourself reflections of that which you are. If you're friendly, then everybody else seems to be friendly too."
Dr. David Hawkins
Physician and Lecturer


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"You need to overcome the tug of people against you as you reach for high goals."
George Patton
1885-1945, World War II Army General

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"The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication."
Cecil B. DeMille
1881-1959, Film Director and Producer

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"The secret of joy in work is contained in one word - excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it."
Pearl Buck
1892-1973, Winner of both the Pulitzer and Nobel Prize for her writing.

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"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature nor do the children of man as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."
Helen Keller
1880-1968, Blind/Deaf Author and Lecturer

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"You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear. Do it! Develop an appreciation for the present moment. Seize every second of your life and savor it. Value your present moments. Using them up in any self-defeating ways means you've lost them forever."
Wayne Dyer
Author and Speaker

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Hypocrisy of press freedom in Africa

~The SUN Nigeria. Tuesday, April 4, 2017.

More than five decades since many African countries gained political independence, the values attached to press freedom remain high. Historically, press freedom was enshrined in the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights (United Nations, 1948). Article 19 of the Declaration states that everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression, including the right to hold opinions without interference and to strive for, obtain and communicate information and ideas through any media without constraints. Although many African countries are signatories to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the rights of citizens to enjoy free speech have been violated more than respected.

In the final days of the struggle for political independence in Africa, the media were expected to play the role of the lapdog of the newly installed governments in different countries. It was fashionable to hear political leaders talk about the obligations of the media to support the government in power so the government could achieve its socioeconomic development objectives. The media were expected to collaborate with the government rather than scrutinise state officials. A critical press was seen as unhelpful and confrontational because criticisms, the leaders argued, tended to create instability rather than cultivate a harmonious society. African leaders often wonder why the media should be consumed by the fight for press freedom while the basic needs of the people remain unachievable.

Within the new independent nations, the campaign for press freedom was an anathema. Whatever would not advance the interests of a nation was deemed unworthy of press attention. Press freedom remains, in the eyes of many African leaders and leaders of other developing countries, an abstract concept that cannot place food on citizens' dining tables. Given a choice between the fight for freedom and the struggle for three square meals, our leaders encourage us to aim for achievement of our basic needs that will guarantee longer life for everyone. After all, politically crafty African leaders tell us, 'You cannot eat freedom'.

Within the continent, authoritarian political and military leaders argued the press was not obligated to scrutinise authority or hold national leaders to account. Rather than see a free press as the hallmark of a free society, state officials say a free press in any developing country should be seen as a hindrance to progress. This is why, in various parts of the continent, press freedom, as a concept, remains as problematic as democracy.

Press freedom means different things to different people and their leaders. Politicians tend to support a free press when they are in opposition. When they get into government, press freedom becomes a bad concept that should be quarantined.

About Diabetes: Hope for diabetic patients

Topics:
  • Hope for diabetic patients
  • Diabetes Drug Alert
  • Bone and joint disorders in diabetes
  • Diabetes at festive seasons
  • Prevention of type 2 diabetes
  • Diabetes and Hepatitis B
  • Type-1 Diabetes: Quest for a cure
  • Diabetes and womanhood
  • Economic and social costs of diabetes
  • The rise of the glucose meter
  • Insulin use and type 2 diabetes
  • My diabetes history
  • TYPE-1 DIABETES: QUEST FOR A CURE
  • Combination therapy in diabetes
  • Four steps to manage your diabetes for life
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Hope for diabetic patients
~Xinhua/NAN

New study that was released by some researchers in the University of Otago and Aucklandon on Tuesday said that Women who took a naturally occurring probiotic were less likely to develop diabetes during pregnancy.

Probiotics are live bacteria and yeasts that are good for your health, especially your digestive system.

The joint study by the universities of Otago and Auckland involved the probiotic, Lactobacillus rhamnosus HN001, which was used to make fermented milk products such as yoghurt.

The report said that it was given in capsule form to 194 women from early pregnancy, while 200 women received a placebo.

Gestational diabetes was assessed at 24 to 30 weeks gestation.

“Using the current New Zealand definition for gestational diabetes, 6.5 per cent of the women had diabetes in the placebo group, versus 2.1 per cent in the probiotic group.

“This is a 68 per cent reduction.

“We found that the protective effects were stronger among older women and were stronger among women who had previously had gestational diabetes,” said study leader Professor Julian Crane, of the University of Otago.

Fasting blood glucose was also significantly lower among women taking the probiotic compared to placebo.

“This is an exciting result suggesting that this probiotic may be interacting with the normal gut bacteria in some way to reduce glucose levels in pregnancy,” he said.

The researchers previously showed that the same probiotic had effects on the immune system and reduced eczema by 50 per cent in infancy.

Crane said that the next steps would be to investigate whether the probiotic could reduce the increasingly common risk in the population of developing diabetes.
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Diabetes Drug Alert


TYPE 2 diabetes drugs — canagliflozin (In­vokana), dapagliflozin (Farxiga), and empa­gliflozin (Jardiance) — may lead to ketoacido­sis, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) warned.

The sodium-glucose co-transporter-2 (SGLT2) inhibitors are designed to lower blood sugar in patients with diabetes, but the FDA is investigating a connection between the drugs and dangerously high acid levels in the blood. They are also looking at whether changes will need to be made to the prescrib­ing information.

Mr & Mrs: 'My sister flirts with my boyfriend'

Topics:
'My sister flirts with my boyfriend'
- I caught my wife, best man having adulterous meeting – Husband tells court
- 'My husband makes money only for himself'
- I caught my wife with two lovers in our bedroom – Husband


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My husband does not want me to work

Dear Njigirl,
I got married when I was 18 years old. We have five children. The oldest is seven years and I am pregnant again.
My husband does not want me to work and I am frustrated. Please what should I do?
ν Sandra

Dear Sandra,
You are so young and with so many babies yet you are pregnant again? I feel for you.
Well with your children and your pregnancy how do you think that you can hold down employment? If you are lucky to find employment you will then find a babysitter for your children. Can you afford it? I would rather ask: with your husband as the only bread winner can he afford it? I doubt it, not with five children and the one on the way. Sandra you are in-between a rock and a hard place and what you will do is mind boggling right?
Ok let me first admonish you for whatever it is worth.
What were you thinking when you got married at such a young age of 18? How old was your husband then? Did you complete any higher education? Assuming that you have a college degree it will be easier for you to seek employment. You must know your skills and your area of expertise to enable you seek the right job. Then get your resume organized and begin to send to different employers. Let me be clear though, it will be difficult for you to cope with full time employment with your babies but I can also assure you that it can be done.
First, you need to arrange for a reputable daycare service. Many social service offices have provision for funds that can be used towards subsidizing the payments. Also so many companies these days provide daycare services within the premises.
So if you can, try to arrange these things before you obtain full time employment.
As for your present state, with this pregnancy and subsequent childbirth, I hope that you will consider family planning options that are available to you. You can ask your medical doctor to recommend safe practices to you. Finally, there is no need to be frustrated, please just get yourself organized and learn all the different ways for you to improve your life and those of your family.
Best of luck,
ν Dr. NJ
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'My sister flirts with my boyfriend'

Dear Njigirl,
my sister is always flirting with my boyfriend and he enjoys it but I am not happy about it. How can I get her to quit playing with my man?
ν Nikki

Nigerians 6th happiest in Africa, Norway world’s best

~News Agency of Nigeria
March 20, 2017


Nigerians in Germany in a photo-op with President Buhari, 2016
Despite the economic recession, Nigerians are Africa’s sixth happiest people, according to a new report released on Monday that called on nations to build social trust and equality to improve the wellbeing of their citizens.

Algeria leads the rest of Africa in happiness, followed by Mauritius. Strife-torn Libya is surprisingly ranked third, ahead of Morocco. And even a bigger surprise, another crisis-torn nation, Somalia is Africa’s fifth happiest country ahead of Nigeria and South Africa, ranked 7th. Tunisia is eighth and Egypt ninth, while Sierra Leone is tenth.

At the bottom ten are Benin, Madagascar, South Sudan, Liberia, Guinea, Togo, Rwanda, Tanzania, Burundi and the worst of them, Central African Republic.

(Please read the full African Report here: Africa- ranking of Happiness

On the global stage, Norway displaced Denmark as the world’s happiest country

The Nordic nations are the most content, according to the World Happiness Report 2017 produced by the Sustainable Development Solutions Network (SDSN), a global initiative launched by the United Nations in 2012.

Countries in sub-Saharan Africa, along with Syria and Yemen, are the least happy of the 155 countries ranked in the fifth annual report released at the United Nations.

“Happy countries are the ones that have a healthy balance of prosperity, as conventionally measured, and social capital, meaning a high degree of trust in a society, low inequality and confidence in government,” Jeffrey Sachs, the director of the SDSN and a special advisor to the United Nations Secretary-General, said in an interview.

The aim of the report, he added, is to provide another tool for governments, business and civil society to help their countries find a better way to wellbeing.


Denmark, Iceland, Switzerland, Finland, Netherlands, Canada, New Zealand, Australia and Sweden rounded out the top ten countries.

The son who helped his dad make a baby!

By Urowayino Warami   
~vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, April 2, 2017

TUNDE had been separated from his wife for years. She lives abroad and they are good friends. After years of enjoying the single life, he eventually fell in love and things started going horribly wrong. His story:

"I am a medical doctor with a thriving private practice. Six years ago, I finally plucked up enough courage to ask Maureen out to lunch. She was a junior manager at the bank the hospital used and was always very friendly. Whenever interest rates on fixed deposits went up, she would advise me to push for the highest possible on our account. A professional to the core, I was very impressed with how brilliant and intelligent she was. Not to mention her smashing figure.

"She'd just helped push a soft loan I desperately needed to refurbish the hospital when I asked her to lunch as a 'thank you' gesture. To my pleasant surprise, she agreed and that was how our relationship started. I was in my fifties with two lovely children. Their mother had opted to stay behind when I wanted to relocate to the country – our marriage wasn't working and she had a job she loved with the social service. So, we parted amicably and I so much enjoyed my freedom, I wasn't really keen on getting married again- until I met Maureen.

She was a single mother of a two-year-old daughter and as I got to know her better, she told me she was thinking of leaving the bank to pursue a business in horticulture. She'd completed a horticultural course when she studied abroad and had done a bit on the side for a few clients who'd praised her efforts. I encouraged her to follow her dreams and gave her financial support to kick-start the business – she already had half of the outlay from her retirement benefits.


"Barely a year later, the business had taken off beyond our wildest dreams – thanks to elaborate decorations that are the in-thing at functions these days – weddings especially. With my clout, I was able to get her jobs from reputable companies and friends.

"It was around this time we gave a serious thought to getting married. One thing we both wanted very much was a baby of our own. For the next three years, we tried but nothing happened. In the end, I took her to a gynaecologist who was also a very good friend. He did tests upon tests until it was discovered that only one of her fallopian tubes was functioning. That, coupled with my age, had reduced our chances of having a baby. My friend then suggested we travel to Britain, giving us the address of a top IVF hospital. At first, I was reluctant, but Maureen was in her early 30s and feared her biological clock was ticking fast. And I loved her. So I agreed to go with her.

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