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Dear Bunmi (Relationships, Family, Sex and Life, Romance...) : Friend tried to snatch my man


Dear Bunmi, 
  • Friend tried to snatch my man
  • In love with a married mum
  • Why is he always texting in the toilet?
  • I prefer him as a lover
  • I need to break off with this old lover
  • Sister finds it difficult to cope with her divorce
  • He seems to like large-breasted women
  • Could he be cheating?
  • I live in fear my past could catch up with me
  • She’s harassing me because I dumped her
  • He's too big it hurts!
  • Is alcohol really good for a diabetic?
  • Afraid to dump this adulterer
  • I don’t feel sex is fun any more
  • Should I go for no string s3x?
  • He wants the kids to spend Xmas with him and the rich new wife
  • My friend's hubby is hot!
  • In love with my dead friend's husband
  • Confused about losing virginity
  • Four inches organ: Can I get her pregnant being this small?
  • I'm tempted to stray with my sales reps
  • All I want now is just sex
  • I'm Not Sure I Love Him
  • My brother-in-law says he’s dying to go to bed with me
  • Is it safe to dye my pubic hair? Ageing woman asks
  • ‘I woke to feel my cousin’s hand under my nightie’
  • How can I stop cheating my boyfriend?
  • I’ve finally met a girl who loves sex
  • My husband moved in stylishly with his lover
  • Can I have paternity test without my husband’s knowledge?
  • Why can’t he let go his wife for our love?
  • Help! My husband is always staring at other women
  • How can I hold on to this beautiful girl?
  • How can I convince my boss I'm not interested in him sexually.
  • His best friend is getting on my nerves!

Women who get turned on by hairy men!

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 11, 2018.

WOULD you compare your lover to a gorilla? I don't mean gorilla the brute – I mean gorilla of the male species! There are tonnes of things about a man that can turn a woman on. I've heard of some women who go weak at the knee when they clamp eyes on men in uniforms. For others, it's men's height or muscles or that inconsequential thing like the size of his wallet! As for Jane, not only does she like burly men, she likes them with a lot of hair on! She was in my office for a natter when Raymond sauntered in. He services the office computers from time to time and had just finished when he called in for a chat. Jane's eyes were on stalks when she saw him. So he was tall and all that, but he wasn't really Adonis! The minute I introduced them, she was on like a rocket – chatting a minute to the dozen as if she'd known him all her life. What was the matter with her? A fairly cool single mother of two, here she was carrying on like a teenager in heat!

Within minutes, they'd swapped phone numbers and Raymond left with a smirk! "What was all that about?" I asked Jane, a bit put out by her obvious play for Raymond. "Oh, aunty C, did you get a glimpse of his chest?" Chest? It was a man we were discussing here for goodness sake! "Yes, his chest," she continued excitedly, "his shirt was partially opened and what I saw of his chest was extremely hairy!" So? "I've always been a sucker for hair. I can't think of anything else that excites me more than a hunk who's covered in a thick layer of body hair. It all started when I was at the university and had sex for the first time. My boyfriend then was so hairy that I became transfixed at all that black hair covering his body – it made him look so masculine, powerful and virile!

"Since then, I've always regarded even the hunkiest men as un-sexy. they don't have hairy chests. Their smooth chests simply turn me off! I used to love cuddling up and resting my head on my ex's chest, feeling the wiry hair tickling my cheeks. Let's face it, when you think of it, even when you're madly in love, sex is a really primal, animal act – and being with such a gorilla of a man only made it feel more exciting and erotic. I was madly in love but it all ended two years later when he finished at the university. The long distance between us killed the love as he couldn't afford to travel to see me. I was heart broken for a while but quickly resumed my hunt for a replacement after my heart break eased. I found it a major turn-off if I discovered a guy only had a few measly stray hairs on his chest. It made him seem like a mere boy, not a grown man.

"Over the next few years, I had some wonderful encounters with hairy men until my lust for them had virtually transformed into a fetish. I was a bit worried in case I met Mr. right and he had no hair. Would it work? Would I really find him sexy? But I was in luck and my ex met all my wild expectations. Pity it didn't work out but we were married for close to ten years and I have two lovely kids to show for it. We still remain friends and for a while after the divorce, I still bonked him because of his hair appeal.

22 notable changes that can affect your sex life

By Funmi Akingbade
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, February 11, 2018.

Funmi Akingbade
As the saying goes, the only thing that does not change is God and perhaps change itself; every other thing changes. If something has a beginning, the end is just around the corner. As beautiful as sex is and as important in a marital relationship as it is, there are many notable changes that happen with sex in the marriage union. So today, we are going to examine 22 different changes couples should watch out for while the going is good.

One, it is very obvious that due to lack of adequate information and understanding, many couples find it difficult to comprehend these changes in their sex life. They usually think that something is wrong with them or their spouse. But experts have made it clear that couples' sex taste bud changes from age to age. The changes are also affected by their temperaments, mind-set, psychosocial exposures, diseases and available medical treatment and the earlier a spouse is aware of this, the better it is for the married partner.

Two, this awareness is particularly useful for couples who have obvious age gap, racial differences and blood group compatibility issues around them. The understanding of this will assist each spouse to sexually please his or her spouse, while he or she is having the best of sexual fulfillment and, of course, it helps reduce cases of infidelity to the minimum.

Three, couples' sex drives, libido and taste change with age. For instance, couples within the ages of 20 and 30 years share sexual similarities in taste, preference, flavour, libido and craving while couples within the ages of 32 and 39 have the same sexual favourite, passion, desire and yearning than those within the ages of 45 and above.

Four, experts say the ages between 20 and 30 is the stage where couples have lots and lots of great sexual chemistry at their disposal. It is the stage where both partners fall madly in love and constantly produce high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine. These chemicals not only make young couples feel extremely excited, they drive up testosterone- the hormone that fuels the sex drive of men as well as women-to the highest height. Besides, time is on the side of this category of couples. For young couples who have no children, mornings and evenings are blissfully theirs for romantic romps. What's more, they are at the beginning of their sexual life and they have a long way to go.

Five, this is the stage where more than often you hear the man complain of premature ejaculation or anxiety of performance, because with all the sexual tension between the couple, the man sometimes gets so excited that he ejaculates too quickly. Or since both partners are so young, the man may not yet know how to climax every time. Besides, because either of the spouses is eager to get to the peak of the game, one or both partners are put under undue pressure and unconsciously develop anxiety of performance. Anxiety of performance happens in both men and women, but it is more pronounced in men.

Deep inside the red-light district: happenings in Lagos strip clubs

Written by Ademola Olonilua
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, February 11, 2018.

Catching fun, especially at night, has become a habit for many fun seekers in Lagos. For such people, the prominent places where they choose to catch their fun at night include bars and strip clubs. The go-to place for those who love to turn their X-rated fantasies into realities is usually the strip club. But strip clubs are not easy places to spot in Lagos, except if the fun seeker knows how to look beyond the surface. So, it could be difficult to locate one as there are no eligible signs to advertise their locations, so it is normally a case of, 'if you know, you know.'

Although there are choice strip clubs, both on the Island and the mainland; for the mainland, the clubs' colonies seem to be Allen Avenue and the Government Reservation Area, Ikeja. To spot one, fun seekers only look out for a neon sign or an electronic advertising sign with flickering lights, usually coloured blue and red with what appears to be the drawing of a naked woman.

Funnily enough, Ikeja is the commercial hub of Lagos during the day and also at night. With banks and other business firms situated in the district, human and vehicular traffic in the area during the day is usually heavy and at night, it still comes alive courtesy of the bright lights which seem to focus on the pubs, clubs and even commercial sex workers that conduct their business on the streets.

To a large extent, Ikeja is the red-light district of Lagos State.

Around one of the popular streets in GRA, Ikeja is a popular strip club. While most businesses have locked their doors and closed for the day by 9 pm, that is the time this establishment is resuming for the business of the night, and it takes it right until the following morning.

When Saturday PUNCH visited the establishment at about 9:30 pm on Wednesday, it was obvious that the 'shop' had just opened. Within minutes, the vast compound, which has a large space as its car park, was quickly filled with exotic cars; a testament to the class of people the joint caters for.

It is therefore not surprising that to get into the club as a man on Saturdays; their peak period, a fee of N5,000 is required and on Sundays, the price drops to N3,000. While the ladies pay N3,000 on Saturday and N2,000 on Sundays. Other days are free but the hefty men at the gate never forget to politely ask: 'Sir, anything for your boy even if na one bottle of beer?' Invariably, visitors are sometimes forced to part with money and since it is a high-end club, the bouncers at the door normally smile home.

About Diabetes: Hope for diabetic patients

  • Diabetics 200% likely to develop cataracts
  • Hope for diabetic patients
  • Diabetes Drug Alert
  • Bone and joint disorders in diabetes
  • Diabetes at festive seasons
  • Prevention of type 2 diabetes
  • Diabetes and Hepatitis B
  • Type-1 Diabetes: Quest for a cure
  • Diabetes and womanhood
  • Economic and social costs of diabetes
  • The rise of the glucose meter
  • Insulin use and type 2 diabetes
  • My diabetes history
  • Combination therapy in diabetes
  • Four steps to manage your diabetes for life

Diabetics 200% likely to develop cataracts
~TheGuardian Nigeria. Wednesday, February 7, 2018.

Women sufferers had the greatest risk of cataracts – the leading cause of blindness across the world that starts as a clouding of the lens in the eye. And the 15-year study concluded that middle-aged patients were nearly six times more likely to develop the vision-robbing condition.

It is unsure why diabetes leads to cataracts, however, charities consider it a known complication for adults with poorly managed blood sugar levels.

The latest study involved a team of international researchers from Anglia Ruskin University, University Hospitals Bristol, Switzerland and Boston University.

It aimed to assess incidence rates of cataracts in 56,000 patients, all aged over 40, with diabetes. Cataracts are a known complication of diabetes.

The participants were all followed for 15 years to determine the link between the two conditions, which has existed for years.

The research, published in the journal Eye, found that cataracts was diagnosed at an overall rate of 20.4 per 1,000 people with diabetes.

In comparison, just 10.8 per 1,000 of the general population were diagnosed with cataracts – which is also linked to smoking and boozing.

Diabetics aged between 45 and 54 were considerably more likely than non-sufferers to develop cataract, with their risk being 4.6 times higher.

Hope for diabetic patients

New study that was released by some researchers in the University of Otago and Aucklandon on Tuesday said that Women who took a naturally occurring probiotic were less likely to develop diabetes during pregnancy.

Probiotics are live bacteria and yeasts that are good for your health, especially your digestive system.

The joint study by the universities of Otago and Auckland involved the probiotic, Lactobacillus rhamnosus HN001, which was used to make fermented milk products such as yoghurt.

The report said that it was given in capsule form to 194 women from early pregnancy, while 200 women received a placebo.

Gestational diabetes was assessed at 24 to 30 weeks gestation.

“Using the current New Zealand definition for gestational diabetes, 6.5 per cent of the women had diabetes in the placebo group, versus 2.1 per cent in the probiotic group.

She came to the rescue of a sister who was off sex!

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 28, 2018.

FAMILY comes in handy when you have problems you think are insurmountable. During the last general strike, a few of the staff made it to the office – out of boredom, I'm sure. What's more, their houses are a few `minutes' walk to the office. There was nothing to do really, so we just sat down and nattered, discussing everything under the sun with particular emphasis on relationships. "How many marriages do you think can survive without sex?" asked Augusta, one of the participants on a sandwich course from her banking job. "Dunno," I told her. "Quite a few do, but for short periods only. You can not really be happy in a sexless marriage can you, what would be the point?"

The following day, I was really surprised to see her. None of the others showed up and it would have been a good opportunity for me to catch up on the backlog of files I had to go through. Seeing I wasmore interested in encouraging her to leave than settle to another gossip session, she told me she urgently needed my advise. "It's my brother-in-law" she said when I arched my brow. "My sister is six years older than me and although we were very close when we were young, I was a bit jealous of her as she got to do everything way before I did – like going to discos, having boyfriend' and wearing grown-up clothes. By the time I was old enough to do all those things, Leila, my sister, was already married to John, her childhood sweetheart. With time they had two boys. I was at her place on a Saturday when she opened up to me. As she talked, she kept her eyes fixed on my face .. Was she expecting a reaction? She then told me:

"Would you believe I no longer find sex interesting?" My sister confided in me as we shared a bottle of wine. `I love John, of course, but I hate it when he touches me.' I didn't know what to say. I was a bit embarrassed. I mumbled something about a low sex drive being common for a while after having a baby. But her youngest was four and I urged her to give it time. That the desire would come back. But it didn't. It was then I realised they had a serious problem. Wasn't John frustrated?

"Leila shrugged. 'He must be," she admitted. 'I wouldn't really blame him if he started having an affair.' 'He'd never do that!' I replied, horrified. John was handsome, trustworthy and easy-going. Most of all, he really loved my sister. As time passed and they stayed together, I assumed they'd sorted out their differences. Until one night at one of our friend's 30th birthday party. Leila had come alone leaving the children with John and their new maid. We had a bit to drink and I began moaning about being permanently single and how 1 missed not having regular sex.

"That doesn't' bother me at all,' Leila shrugged. 'You and I are different that way – you love sex, I don't.' What?' I gasped, my mouth dropping open, 'you mean you're still celibate?' 'I haven't had sex for three years,' she told me, 'and I don't miss it.' I couldn't

get my head round it. This was no phase. Leila had obviously settled for a sexless marriage. I wondered how John could cope with that. Men need sex. Had he gone elsewhere?

"Yet every time I visited their cosy flat, Leila and John seemed so happy and relaxed together, so in love. Then one day, a few months on, 1 called round to see my sister and John answered the door. He was wearing just a towel round his waist as he was in a hurry to get the door. 'Is Leila in?' I stuttered, looking at his rippling muscles.

Could you be better friends after your divorce?

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 14, 2018.

THE major reason married couples divorce is that they couldn't stand each other when they were married. Most marriages could be acrimonious, but there are some couples who got along better now they don't have the responsibilities that committed relationships bring. Mandy, 42 and Frank 39 swore they've forged a close friendship, even though Frank walked out on her when their second daughter was only four.

"I was distraught when Frank left me four years ago," confessed Mandy. "I had recently suffered a miscarriage and was really depressed. On top of which the doctors had really advised 1 shouldn't try for another baby at my age"'. That made me feel really old and emphasised that at 35, Frank would think his child-bearing age was over. We already had two adorable daughters, would he want a son like most men?

"Frank assured me he'd got all the family he ever wanted and 1 relaxed. A couple of years later however, 1 got the news that shattered everything. A friend called she was just from a naming ceremony where the new dad was Frank. And you guessed it, the new tot was a boy! Frank didn't know her, so she was able to give a blow-by-blow account of the ceremony. 1 literally died inside.

How could he? After he'd assured me he was fine the way things were? 1 didn't even suspect he was having a serious affair. This was a man who, even in my darkest moments was there, assuring me 1 could count on him.

"When he eventually showed up and I addressed him by the name of his new son, he was taken aback. Then he became defiant. He told me he didn't ask for what happened, but when one of his mistresses became pregnant and refused an abortion, he resigned himself to his lot. But when he realised he'd had a son, he was really happy. The only problem was how to tell me, but this 'well-meaning' friend had made things easier for him. And he meant to be a responsible father to this son who was born due to no fault of his.

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