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Showing posts with label Questions and Answers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Questions and Answers. Show all posts

Will you dump him if he loses his libido!?

VANGUARD Nigeria. Sunday, November 3, 2019

If you're not sexually compatible with your partner, it's going to put a huge strain on your relationship. Goes without saying that sexual satisfaction is really important in keeping both people happy. But what happens if your man suddenly loses his libido or has a sharp drop in his performance level? Will you give him the elbow?!

Opinions are really divided on this. It's easier for a woman to fake orgasm - what with different lubricants that make penetration easy when she suddenly become dry. But, apart from the expensive Viagra, no magic pill will make a man rise to the occasion when he doesn't feel like it.

"Why would the woman stay with someone who's not in sync with her sexually?", asked Mfon, 45, who runs a fairly successful catering outfit. "She'd be better off trying to find someone she's better matched with. Life's too short to be unhappy with a partner who isn't giving you what you need in the bedroom.

"People say relationships are about compromise, but if one person feels they're not getting enough nookie, it could lead to disaster. They might cheat, thereby breaking the trust between them. The person who wants more sex might also feel rejected, which could lower their self-esteem and confidence. They may end up beating themselves up over why they're always being turned down. I know I would. Don't get me wrong, cuddles and kisses are great, but women need to feel desired.

"A pertinent question when faced with this dilemma is: Would your partner make the same sacrifice? Men in particular have a very short fuse when dealing with frigidity. After a couple of kids, you wouldn't expect your partner to be as hot as when you first met. But you hear of men who look for passion elsewhere instead of helping their wives or partners regain their libido. One of such husband explained his reason for taking a second `wife' was because she has a better `fit' when they make love than his legal wife!

"It makes sense for a person with a low libido to be with someone similar because they won't have to feel guilty about constantly shunning their partners advances. If couples are at opposite ends of the scale sex-drive-wise, I reckon it's time to call it a day".

Joy, a 39-year-old beautician, disagrees with Mfon. According to her, sex is not be-all and end-all of a relationship. Being part of a couple is about supporting one another emotionally, loving each other and just enjoying one another's company. Sex seems important at the start, but once a relationship develops, it usually takes more of a backseat. Things like having shared interests, similar values and even the same sense of humour are more important than having in-sync sex drives.

Dear Bunmi (Relationships, Family, Sex and Life, Romance...) : The humiliating experience of being jilted


Dear Bunmi, 
  • The humiliating experience of being jilted
  • At 28, still a virgin and no girlfriend
  • Dumped by a heartless colleague
  • Should I go for this junior staff?
  • He won't take no for an answer
  • Hubby preying on neighbourhood girls
  • How do I resume making love?
  • Should married men have platonic friendships?
  • My life is falling apart!
  • Does she think I'm too old for her?
  • Dad married late mum's best friend
  • Should I tell her husband?
  • Hubby got my daughter pregnant
  • She's pregnant for man who raped me!
  • Is my boss ashamed of me?
  • I need to let him know I fancy him!
  • Friend tried to snatch my man
  • In love with a married mum
  • Why is he always texting in the toilet?
  • I prefer him as a lover
  • I need to break off with this old lover
  • Sister finds it difficult to cope with her divorce
  • He seems to like large-breasted women
  • Could he be cheating?

Health benefits of vegetables

Written by Dr Sylvester Ikhisemojie
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, August 26, 2018.

Written by Dr Sylvester Ikhisemojie
People have known in much of their lifetimes that it is beneficial to take vegetables in our food. For some, it serves as a mere condiment used to garnish the food and make it look more appealing. Others have often used it to improve the taste of their food. Some others use vegetables as a dietary supplement to provide extra nutrients, vitamins and to act as a bowel cleanser. All the above reasons are correct in various degrees in the use of vegetables. However, there are also some people who cannot stand the addition of vegetables to their normal meals.

These sorts of people miss a lot in terms of the tastiness of any particular type of food and what they could stand to gain from its consumption. There are many various types of vegetables but certain ingredients are common to them and in seeking to understand how they positively impact on our overall health, it is better for us to examine what these features are.

Vegetables contain cellulose, a spongy compound which the human stomach is not even designed to digest. Cellulose is the remarkable substance that mostly makes up the fiber in the diet. That compound is able to improve the sheer bulk of our stools and therefore, ease its way through the alimentary canal and get passed out as faeces. Such fiber in the diet helps to flush out waste effectively from the alimentary tract and gastric irritants. By doing this also, they help the body keep various diseases at bay and fight bloating. Cellulose is a complex material which herbivores like goats, sheep and cows are particularly able to digest. These creatures and other similar ones are known as ruminants. Such animals live almost exclusively on these substances and they almost never fall ill. This ability is also replicated in man; as most vegetables help people fend off chronic diseases and to lose weight.

Vegetables are also constituted of about 85 to 95 per cent water which helps hydrate the skin and reduce wrinkles. Besides, they contain substances called phytonutrients which help to guard against premature aging. They accomplish that by preventing cell damage caused by stress, sunshine, environmental pollution and toxins. Brightly coloured vegetables which could be red or orange will usually give the body an added boost of beta carotene which is protective of the skin from the sun's damage while giving it a healthy glow. One common example of an orange vegetable is the carrot and a red one is the tomato. The latter contains a substance known as lycopene which has been proved to act virtually as a natural sunscreen.

Cardiac disease can kill suddenly during physical exercise -Expert

A consultant physician and cardiologist at the University of Nigeria Teaching Hospital, Enugu, Prof. Benedict Anisiuba, discusses sudden cardiac death with DOLAPO AKITOYE
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, June 10, 2018.

What is sudden cardiac death?
Sudden cardiac death is a non-traumatic, unexpected fatal event occurring
within one hour of the outset of symptoms in an apparently healthy individual. However, if the death occurs when nobody is present, this definition can also be extended to when the person was in good health 24 hours before being discovered to be dead but if the death is witnessed within one hour of the outset of symptoms, it is sudden cardiac death.

What can cause sudden cardiac death?
It seems that most abnormalities in the body can cause sudden death, whether cardiac or non-cardiac but generally, cardiovascular diseases - diseases of the heart and blood vessels - are more notorious in causing sudden cardiac death but apart from that, diseases of the respiratory system, of the brain and of course, poisoning can also be responsible for it. With regards to the cardiovascular system, the most common disease that causes sudden cardiac death is hypertension and its complications. Hypertension is the leading cause of sudden cardiac death. With most people that die from sudden cardiac death, there is evidence of hypertension in about 70 per cent of them.

Hypertension tops the list followed by heart failure and also, thickening of the walls of the heart which is called left ventricular hypertrophy in medicine. This can result from many causes such as hypertension, sub-congenital diseases and myocardial infarction (heart attack). Heart attack means that the blood vessel taking blood to the heart is blocked. It is also one of the important causes of sudden cardiac death. So, part of the heart dies when the blood supply to it is blocked. It is one of the most important causes in the developed world.

It is catching up in our own part of the world but not as much as in the developed world. For the respiratory diseases, the one that comes easily to mind is acute bronchial asthma. Severe bronchial asthma can definitely lead to sudden death including blockage of the blood vessels going to the lungs referred to as pulmonary embolism.
Diseases of the central nervous system, especially the brain, can also lead to sudden cardiac death especially sudden bleeding in the brain due to abnormal blood vessels which can be congenital (before birth) or acquired (developed along the line). The most obvious cause is severe chemical or drug poisoning. If somebody either intentionally or accidentally takes a dangerous chemical, the person will, of course, die suddenly. This is in addition to drug overdose which can be intentional or accidental.

What are the symptoms that can lead to sudden cardiac death?
By definition, the person is not supposed to have any symptom until one hour before the outset of cardiac death but as can be seen from the causes of sudden cardiac death, there is always some subtle abnormality that is present which is ignored by the doctor, individual or society. However, nobody is to blame. Some of these symptoms are common in the environment that they can always take people to the theatre and start exploring the heart or the brain but generally, the symptoms that precede sudden cardiac death include sudden outset of breathlessness. This can occur either from heart failure or from pulmonary embolism. Breathlessness is a very important symptom leading to sudden cardiac death.

Side effects of an orgasm

Written by Sylvester Ikhisemojie
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, June 10, 2018.

Dr Sylvester Ikhisemojie
In several essays in the past, both on this page and by other writers, the unique nature of sexual release has been studied greatly and explained more. The conclusion has been that sex, particularly when it is satisfactory, is said to do many positive things in the body. Importantly, it is said to be responsible for a sensation of love, of satisfaction and release. Some people are able to sleep better while others are known to feel good both within and without. They seem oblivious to certain physical challenges, namely pain and headache, and therefore maintain a certain spring in their step. However, every coin has two sides just like every story; sometimes, there are even more than two sides. What this means here is that there are certain experiences during and after sex that are very different from any of the facts mentioned above and they are not only surprising but are noteworthy.

Some of these changes in the body are now classified as side effects. Some people especially women; say they experience some intense reactions after having an orgasm. These side effects are described as hallucinations in which many of the women captured in relevant data describe a flying experience which they found quite unnerving. Some others describe a sensation of hurtling through space or of passing through walls into endless corridors resembling underground tunnels. In other situations, some women have described a sensation of experiencing intense headache and even dizziness following an orgasm. Turkey is one country in which some of these responses in women have been most widely studied. Sensationally, men also have described headache and dizziness as two of the most unpleasant side effects they suffer from after an orgasm.

Another side effect first described nearly a century ago, in 1928, is known as orgasmolepsy. It is described in a situation in which there is a sudden loss of muscle power, causing such profound weakness that sleep ensues. This is also found in association with certain sleep disorders like narcolepsy, an uncontrollable desire to fall asleep. The symptoms last for about 30 seconds or less during which there is a complete loss of muscle control following an orgasm. It is a state resembling anaesthesia and the persons are completely helpless in that position.

Crying is another unusual side effect of having an orgasm. It is a constellation of effects after sex in which the persons involved could cry or become tearful, sad or display signs of anxiety. The persons may also become agitated and desperate and some researchers have said that the reality of physical separation so soon after a lot of intimacy may be the trigger because the female partner becomes suddenly lonely. In one study, one in three female university students has reported experiencing some of the above features. These feelings can happen as long as one entire hour after having sex and it often occurs even in stable relationships. It is an alarming experience to see a partner who bursts into tears after intercourse and it is initially difficult to relate it to a side effect as such. This is because there is another group of women who might burst into tears as a result of rape or because they immediately get to regret their sexual experience right after the act. In the former group, an orgasm cannot be possible. In the latter group, while an orgasm might have resulted, the crying results from a feeling of guilt. These are different from a spontaneous cry occurring as a result of the fear of separation after an orgasm has been experienced.

Seven types of libidos

Written by Funmi Akingbade
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, August 13, 2017.

Funmi Akingbade
Why do you lay so much emphasis on sex and sexuality? From my opinion, I think sex is a basic thing; why give so much attention to it?' This was a question I was asked while I was in South Africa giving a talk on sex and sexual health matters.

The first big misconception many people have is thinking that sex is basic and natural and should not be learnt. It is as a result of this discourse that sex education has long been obstructed as if it is not necessary to understand the mechanisms at which it works. Then again, this has caused a lot of damages to many homes.

In reality, sex is cultural; it is the fruit of a learning process and it is something we all have to learn. Until we start learning, we might not be able to unravel the mechanism behind the female's sexuality or the way the erection functions.
As such, today, we want to see seven ways couples can enjoy instant raging passion by being able to differentiate various types of libidos. I would advise you read this together with your spouse, so that both of you can find out which area you fall into.

So, let us look into the arousal types of libidos.

Number one is the sensual libido spouse. This is a spouse who wants sex to be emotional, connecting and superficially physical. The spouse cherishes love play more than the actual sexual acts. This category of spouses is more of introvert lovers than extroverts. Bu the erotic libido spouses are spouses who want sex to be intense and passionate, at least some of the times. They want to explore all the wondrous varieties of sexual activities that are available. Though they can cope with periods of ordinary sex, there are regular opportunities for adventurous and sizzling sex. If you have a strong erotic libido, you get little or no pleasure from low key sex and this might cause problems in the relationship, because your partner might start feeling the pressure to perform at great heights all the time, which is never good.

The second category is the dependent libido spouses and they are spouses who need sex to cope with problems. 
Sex soothes them and makes them feel better. They are more sexually active when they have to deal with bad feelings such as stress, boredom or anxiety, pressure, loss of loved one, when they are sick or troubled. When such spouse does not have an understanding partner, the relationship is always under undue pressure because in such cases, if your partner doesn't want to do it when you want because you are in an emotional state, you might tend to interpret it as lack of love and care. It would look like she or he is refusing to give you the medicine you need to... feel better. 

The reactive libido spouses are spouses who care more about the sexual needs of their partner. 
They sometimes even end up ignoring their own desires if they feel they are not what their partner usually enjoys. These spouses put a lot of effort into foreplay and can only orgasm once they are sure their wives have.

The third category is the entitled libido spouses and these are spouses who assume that it's their God's given right to get whatever they want in their sexual relationship, regardless of the feeling of the other partner. Their mindset is, 'If I want hot steamy sex, I should be given the opportunity to have hot steamy sex and if on the contrary, I want cuddling, my partner should provide me with just that.' This category of spouses is very influenced by the ideas of sex in movies and books and they think they are entitled to have the same great sex as they watch on the screen.

HERPES: The infection called herpes

- The infection called herpes
- Seek treatment for herpes

The infection called herpes
Written by Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, February 19, 2017.

Written by Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie
Herpes is an infection caused by a very resourceful kind of microbe known as a virus. It is a clever virus too which finds it easy or convenient to adapt to their respective hosts. The virus causing herpes is of two types which are named the Herpes simplex Type 1 and Type 2 (HSV-1 and HSV-2). The former is mostly involved in causing lesions around the face or more broadly, around the head and neck. In some cases, it causes a severe kind of gum inflammation called gingivostomatitis. This is often seen in children. The Type 2 is mainly found in association with disease in the genital region. This broad categorisation is sometimes wrong especially among certain population groups in whom the Type 1 is found more in association with genital diseases than the Type 2.

Herpes is not a new disease although it was not properly understood until the last two decades of the twentieth century. It dates back to more than 2000 years when the ancient Greeks in response to the creepy nature of the disease named it a creeping or crawling disease. In the Type 1 disease in which the face and lips are primarily involved, the skin problem it causes often resembles a bleeding gum. Most of these infections are not associated with any notable condition or illness. In the majority of cases, there is in fact, no disease status. However, when there is such a disease condition developing in association with this infection, significant illness, incapacitation and even death can occur.

This disease condition has increased in importance and spread in the last quarter of a century. It has therefore become a major public health concern and even though there is no immediate association with this virus of dramatic images of suffering and disease and death, the conditions exist without doubt. There is much ignorance about this virus and what it causes and there is so much else in terms of what damage it can cause especially among those people who already have a compromised immune status as a result of another condition like cancer treatment or long-standing kidney or liver disease. It is also more likely to occur in people with AIDS. In the United States, herpes is the most common cause of genital ulcers.

Both strains of the virus can cause disease in man as has been mentioned above. In addition, they are able to penetrate the unique kind of tissue prevalent in nerves and induce those cells to allow them to reproduce and multiply. It tends therefore, to follow the various nerve routes prevalent in the areas of the body where it mounts its attacks. It can complicate the wounds associated with burns and certain other skin conditions that would result in an inflammation of the skin known as dermatitis. The virus is found everywhere in the world and no age group is exempt from its effects. It is endemic in the human population and human beings are its only known reservoir. The virus also has no known natural vectors but it is liable to perform periodic reactivation which is the reason why so many sufferers of the infection become depressed and poorly motivated when they are exposed to repeated infection. The virus is speedily inactivated by drying and at room temperature so that it quickly loses its potency once it is outside the body. As a result of that weakness, it is not common to get the infection by droplets or in the form of aerosol.

Dear Aunty Julie (Relationship, Romance, Healthe and Fitness) -|- My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage


Dear Aunty Julie,
  • My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage
  • I feel guilty about cheating on him
  • Help! I had anal s3x and started bleeding
  • I'm in love with my husband's best friend
  • How do I forgive his sexting
  • My husband's friend is destroying our marriage
  • My friends want me to sleep with an older woman
  • He doesn't like sex during my period
  •  Sex with my husband is painful
  • I love sex but I don't want anything serious
  • My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage
  • I feel uncomfortable around my father-in-law
  • Aunty Julie, I have a crush on my best friend's brother
  • I'm sexually attracted to a man at work, I'm married
  • Wetness from my vagina dries into tiny crumbs, smells funny
  • Dear Aunty Julie, Help! I am developing feelings for my teacher
  • He's scared about sex during my period
  • We had sex and I'm itching
  • I was raped
  • Her parents think we're too young
  • My mom is too protective
  • Is my lover’s passion strange?


Dear Julie, My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage
Written by Aunty Julie
~Vanguard, Nigeria. November 11, 2016.

Aunty Julie,
My husband of two years is very sociable and has many close friends that we meet up with for dinner. But he also has clingy friend who comes to our home every Friday and stays until Sunday afternoon. I am often lying around in very little or feeding our baby. One morning he bumped into me naked in the bathroom.

I feel as though my privacy is being invaded. My husband just expects me to chat to him but I am getting angry and we end up having huge fights. If I blame my husband, his friend jumps in and ticks me off. When we went to his house he put on a pornographic film and both he and my husband started grinning at me.

Even on our first anniversary supper this man turned up at the restaurant and joined us for coffee. My husband promises to talk to him but nothing has changed. He texts and telephones my husband every day. This man is nice and he loves our daughter, but I feel as if I am in competition with him for my husband’s attention. How can I stop him coming around all the time.
Anonymous, Lagos.

Dear Anonymous,
Neither your husband nor his friend are being fair to you. To use Princess Diana’s much quoted phrase, there are three of us in this marriage. No wife would want another man there all weekend, leaving her little time to be with her husband. It is difficult enough to find time to just be a couple when there is a new baby, let alone when there is someone else there all the time.
So talk to your husband once more and ask him to tell his friend that you want more time as a couple. It would be fine if he stayed over once a month or came for supper sometimes, but not nearly so frequently. If your husband does nothing then you should talk to his friend yourself. Explain that you like him but you want more time as a couple.

You could offer to find him a girlfriend to keep him occupied . He should definitely not be joining you on your next wedding anniversary. I assume your husband and this man are not in a relationship.

Dear Julie, I feel guilty about cheating on him
~Vanguard, Nigeria. Friday, September 2, 2016.

Aunty Julie,

My guy and I have been together for the past 10 years. We have been living together but we are not married and my family is kicking. I have always felt like we had a pretty good relationship and although I am away for work quite often, I have never felt tempted to stray.

But last year, I met another guy at a conference and we clicked well and ended up talking for hours. However, one thing led to another and things happened that I never intended to happen. I's not really a big deal but I'm actually dying inside over the guilt I have now.

I haven't seen the guy again but I am struggling because on one hand, I want to tell my partner but on the other, I feel like it will hurt him so much.

I don't know if it's the right thing to do. At the same time, I also wonder to myself why this happened and if I'm happy in my relationship, what made this so available and easy? Is there something more, is there a reason this happened?

Laila, Kogi

Dear Laila,

You are feeling guilty and confused. You seem to care but wonder how you could do this at the same time. The truth is, when our feelings, thoughts and behaviours don't match, we enter the state of cognitive dissonance, which is usually difficult until we get aligned by either reassessing our values or changing our behaviours, so that things line up again.

You are struggling because you are evolving and growing from the situation inside you. But I'm curious if you are more troubled by telling your partner the truth or feeling the judgments. The biggest judge is the person in the mirror. Just like you can love someone but not everything they do, you can love yourself but not everything you've done. That might be a starting point.

Happiness is key to good health

Written by Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, November 6, 2016.

Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie
When people set out in life, they have dreams of living in fantastic houses and driving around town in fast cars and around the world on epic journeys to romantic corners of the earth. Such dreams meet a spectacular shipwreck during the reality of adult life. For the few people who realise such dreams, they soon find out that the associated material possessions do not bring them either happiness or good health.

The key things which have been found to guarantee good health are relationships garnered from community associations, family connections and marital harmony. People who are unhappy and are denied good community bonds tend to be isolated individuals with steadily declining brain function and memory problems. They have a harder time trying to properly control their cholesterol levels during middle age and generally have a more difficult emotional status to control than people who are in happy relations with their neighbours and their communities. In the same way, people who are in toxic marital relationships tend to develop deep personality problems and an instinctive distrust of people around them. Family feuds belong in this category with premature aging, heart disease and chronic sadness completing the toxic combination. Add alcoholism to all these factors and you will have put together a dangerous brew that will guarantee premature death.

The clear message from the foregoing is that good social connections to family, friends and community make happier people and more satisfied individuals than those who are not as well connected. The brains of the poorly socially connected folks deteriorate earlier and faster than among people in the other group. 

Properly integrated individuals live longer and have a healthier muscle bulk and cardiovascular status than those who tend to be unhappy most of the time. This is true even if they are stupendously wealthy. The people with toxic family relationships have a poorer control of their cholesterol levels than those who do not have similar entanglements. Loneliness kills, as we discussed on this page about a year ago. People who are more disconnected from others are more likely to die prematurely than are those who engage well with people around them. You can be lonely in a crowd or in a marriage and thus be unable to mentally engage with the people around you. Close personal relationships that are warm and happy provide emotional stability to those who engage in such relationships. This helps reduce the level of anxiety and conflict than in those individuals who are aloof and distant.

Understanding pain

Written by Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie
~Punch, Nigeria. Sunday, June 26, 2016.

Pain is an intense and unpleasant feeling which occurs at some part of the body usually as a result of injury or disease. It is frequently localised in some part of the body and that enables it to be easily characterised with the specific part of the body as a reference point. Occasionally, however, it may also be generalised. It is conveyed to the brain by various sensory neurons where it is interpreted and the level of its intensity determined. Pain can thus be definitely pointed out to relate to a painful finger for example or a painful ankle.

It may also refer to some emotional distress or mental condition such as when an individual has been publicly humiliated. This type of pain leaves one with deep psychological effects. Sometimes, pain may be specific in making reference to a particular condition such as childbirth or hunger or may refer to a situation in which real care or effort has been expended in bringing to fruition a particular situation such as in describing a painstaking operation.

This essay, however, is about those kinds of pain that are physically felt in relation to certain conditions or associations that may be related to injury or disease. This refers to particularly unpleasant situations like stomach pains or the pain of arthritis and the effects of a fracture occurring in any of the bones of the body. Pain is a frequent condition seen in various forms in all branches of medical practice. The treatment of the various types differs accordingly. Today in many western countries, the management of pain in its various manifestations has become a huge industry. In the United States for example, there are more than 80 million people who suffer pain in one form or the other and are thus in need of various types of medications to control their distress.

As a result, this has evolved into a huge pharmaceutical industry as well with the potential for the abuse of some of these medications. In many cases, such abuse has taken a malignantly dependent form with sad sequelae resulting. There may be addiction or the tragedy of loss from resulting misuse of such medicines. That is a problem even in those nations that have a strict regime of dispensing and procuring medications. In our country where one can obtain almost any drug without a prescription, and across any kind of counter no matter the place, one can imagine the potential for addiction and death.

Sexual health challenges

Written by Funmi Akingbade
~Punch, Nigeria. Sunday, May 29, 2016

Funmi Akingbade
The World Health Organisation has given an amazing review of the extent that marital intimacy has suffered under the destructive and damaging effect of sexual health problems. Most times when I have the opportunity to counsel couples, my heart bleeds when I see the threat and danger untreated sexual health challenges pose to unions of loving couples. The most disappointing aspect of it is that 87 per cent of couples are not even aware that these sexual challenges can be prevented, treated and permanently cured.

Sexual health problem or dysfunction refers to a set of problems during any stage of the active sexual age preventing couples from experiencing satisfaction from sexual activities. Research suggests that 83 per cent of men and 47 per cent of women suffer from sexual health challenges and many couples are shy, timid, cautious, uncertain and hesitant to discuss them.

Fortunately, most cases of sexual health challenges are treatable, so it is important to share your concerns with your partner, doctor or sex therapist. Although both men and women are affected by sexual health problems unfortunately, men suffer more than women. Sexual health problems occur in adults of all ages. Among those commonly affected are those in the geriatric population, which may sometimes be related to a decline in health associated with aging due to bad lifestyle. For this week's article and next, we shall extensively shed light on the male sexual health dysfunctions and round it off with the sexual challenges facing women.

Barrister Kulaju and motor dealer in his late 50s was in my office some weeks ago, wanting to know the causes of male sexual problems. He was experiencing some recession changes in his sexual performance and this was hurting him. Sexual health challenges can be a result of a physical, psychological and medical problem. 'How do sexual problems affect men? he asked. The most common sexual problems in men are ejaculation disorders, erectile dysfunctions and inhibited sexual desire.

Psychological causes include work-related stress and anxiety, environmental pollution, concern about sexual performance, marital or relationship problems, depression, feelings of guilt and the effects of a past sexual trauma. Physical causes are many; we have physical and/or medical conditions such as diabetes, heart and vascular (blood vessel) disease, neurological disorders, hormonal imbalance, chronic diseases such as kidney or liver failure, alcoholism, drug abuse and smoking. In addition, the side effects of certain medications are leading causes. Let us start with erectile dysfunction and inhibited sexual desire.


Written by Sylvester Ikhisemojie

Sylvester Ikhisemojie
Constipation is the inability to open the bowel less frequently that normal. This is a common problem that has fascinated people of all races throughout history. It is traditional for some people to desire to have bowel motions every day. In some cases, such people want to have it every morning. They feel something is fundamentally wrong with them when they are unable to do so. Perhaps their worry is justified but most times it is not.

Some individuals have been known to take extreme measures to ensure they empty their bowel in the morning before they set out for the day's business. And yet, it need not be looked upon as something like an obligation. Understanding the facts that make it a problem should liberate many people and perhaps help them to focus less intently on the need to pass stool. Sometimes, these anxieties are passed on even to little children. Every individual will experience some form of constipation at some point in their lives. Most of the time, it is not at all serious and will correct itself with a slight change in diet or the use of vegetables and fruits.

The normal bowel motion takes different patterns in everyone. Some people use the toilet once a day and that is fine for them. Others use the toilet three times a day and that also is their pattern. Some others go to the toilet once in three days or twice a week. Between all these variants, however, fall the vast majority of people. It is essential to understand very clearly what one's pattern is and to take necessary action when that pattern seems abnormal. When the interval between two bowel motions is longer than three days, the stools become a lot harder and more difficult to pass.

However, it is not all the time that constipation is innocent. On some occasions, it is actually a product of some of the things we are engaged in doing. Therefore, I will endeavour to itemise the various situations in which constipation might be evident.

1) When people have eating disorders as a result of emotional challenges or because of pressures at work, they also will tend to pass out stools irregularly. This is a common thing to be seen in people who have stringent targets to meet at work and therefore do not find the time to eat as a result of that. Sometimes, bereavement and personal loss could also take away one's appetite, as a result, such people are unable to eat properly and consequently use the toilet.

2) Frequent movement from one location to the other may dislocate one's emotional balance so much so that they are unable to make use of the toilets available. Often, this is also caused by the fact that certain people are unable to use toilet facilities in their new environment despite their cleanliness. It just represents a psychological attachment to their homes.
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