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Showing posts with label Videos at Afrisonet. Show all posts

3 Myths About Relationships

Written by ZeeZee
ZeeZee is a certified Relationship and Marriage Coach who believes her purpose in life is to equip couples with the right tools for a successful relationship. Through herwebsiteandYouTube channelshe shares practical tips and principles that help couples understand the inner workings of a healthy marriage.

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Everyone wants to be in a healthy relationship.
While I believe this is entirely possible (Hey! I'm always sharing one tip or the other on how your relationship can be even better), I have noticed that there are certain myths that single people believe about marriage that cause them to end up in relationships that leave so much more to be desired.

So what's causing this disconnect?
Very simple and short, our mindsets! A lot of us think things about marriage that aren't realistic. We think it is the beginning of "real life", we are taught to desire it more than life itself, we are told that we aren't really living until we are living with a man/woman who is magically responsible for us to live happily forever. Don't get me wrong, marriage is an awesome establishment, but it is also one that comes with its own set of major problems that can destroy lives if not handled with care.

A lot of marriages are in peril.
We all know at least one couple who just seem to be living in a perpetual state of discord. And who knows, that couple might be you! While there are certainly things you can do to help your marriage along the way, this article is dedicated to every single person out there to help them avoid the pitfalls that lead to an unhealthy relationship.

You do not have to suffer in the future.
So here is a list of three things I hear single people tell me about marriage (watch the video below) and how doing these "acts of love" will make them score a perfect mate. Call me a bubble burster, but I rather be that than one who sits on the sidelines and watches you throw your life away. Don't do it!

  1. We believe that getting married will complete us.
A lot of us watched the movie "Jerry Macguire" where Tom Cruise's character professes undying love to his girlfriend with the famous line "You complete me!" It all sounds amazing until you delve into the heart of the message. What you are saying by believing this lie, is that you have lived your ENTIRE life as an incomplete being one that isn't worthy until they "hook up" with someone else. One that needs another to make them feel valued even though their creator says they have been "wonderfully and fearfully created".

Twenty years on: Three love stories from Rwanda

...culled from Haaretz - Rwanda

In April 1994, the Rwandan genocide left an estimated 800,000 dead, most of them ethnic Tutsis. Haaretz hears the remarkable stories of three couples who have reconciled themselves with past horrors and found love and some form of redemption.

A memorial to the Rwandan genocide

Twenty years ago, in the small, landlocked, east-central African country of Rwanda, members of the Hutu ethnic group turned on their neighbors, friends and family of the ethnic Tutsi group and began slaughtering them. Starting in early April of 1994, and during the course of the next 100 rainy days, an estimated 800,000 Tutsis and their moderate Hutu sympathizers were murdered.
But these are not stories recounting that genocide. These are love stories – tales of men and women, like men and women the world over, who find someone with whom to share a first kiss. These are couples with dreams and disappointments, good moments and bad.
That said, these couples, forced to live out their relationships in a time of unimaginable horror, do end up telling a story about the genocide after all. It's a story we don't often hear – one of resilience and redemption. One about picking up the pieces, forgetting, if only a little, and forgiving themselves and each other, as much as might be possible, and moving on.  
Agutsine Nkurikiyinka was a broken man when he was released from jail. His wife had died of malaria. His two daughters, after a decade apart from their father, barely knew him. He had lost his job and home, and been reduced, so he felt, to nothing less than a perpetrator of genocide.
As many as two million people, practically all from the Hutu ethnic group, are believed to have participated in one way or another in the genocide that occurred in Rwanda in the rainy spring season of 1994, leaving 800,000 of their neighbors, friends and family – the vast majority of them Tutsi – dead.
Just before the genocide began, Agutsine – a mild-mannered son of Hutu farmers in Kimironko – had found a new job he was excited about: Working for the agriculture ministry, as a guard on a forest conservation project. On April 7, 1994, the day after President JuvĂ©nal Habyarimana’s airplane was shot down on its descent into the capital, Kigali, he set out to erect a roadblock.

A woman on the run
A thin woman with cropped hair, Christine Bamurange grew up working in her parents’ beer and soft drinks kiosk. The last of eight children, she was the one pulled from school when her parents’ business started doing badly, so she never learned how to read or write. She was married off young – to her neighbor Sylvester, a fellow Tutsi, who, after producing three children with her, left for the Ugandan border to fight with the Rwandan Patriotic Front.


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