- Just for laughs
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- Last minute confessions
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Just for laughs
Lets see how much our 'ribs will crack' from these bloopers and witty remarks that are made even more dramatic by their spontaneity and shrouded irony in some cases.
Pat Williams:We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play.
Scout to Bill Shankley: He has football in his blood.
Bill Shankley: You may be right,but it hasn't reached his legs yet.
A journalist asks boxer Chris Eubank the following question during an interview:
Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?
Chris Eubank: On what?
Muhammad Ali: I've seen George Foreman shadow-boxing and the shadow won.
Eddie Shaw: He has turned defensive boxing into a poetic art. Trouble is nobody ever knocked anybody out with a poem.
Golf commentator: One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh, my God, what have I just said?
Metro Radio: Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.
George Best: I spent 90 percent of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted!
Oscar Gamble: They don't think it be likeit is, but it do.
Jerry Rice: I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that.
Karl Malone: I ain'tgonna be no escape-goat.
Rita Rudner: The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said, If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down.
Kevin Keegan: The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23!
We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half.
Doug Plank: Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental.
Tito Fuentes: They shouldn't throw at me. I'm the father of five or six kids.
David Beckham: I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.
Jimmy Demaret: Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.
George Best on Paul Gascoigne: I once said Gazza's IQ was less than his shirt number and he asked me: What's an IQ?
Ruud Gullit: We must have had 99 per cent of the match. It was the other three per cent that cost us.
Jasper Carrott: I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
John Lambie, Partick Thistle Manager, when told his concussed striker did not know who he was: That's great, tell him he's Pele, and get him back on.
Tom Landry: Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it's so incredible, it's unbelievable.
Derek Rae: It's headed away by John Clark, using his head.
Murdo Macleod: That was only a yard away from being an inch-perfect pass.
Torrin Polk: He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.
Bob Varsha: The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch and one on thethrottle.
Jeremy Roenick: Yeah, I'm cocky and I am arrogant. But that doesn't mean I'm not a nice person.
Michael Jordan: I've never lost a game. I just ran out of time.
Eric Cantona: I prefer to play and lose rather than win, because I know in advance I'm going to win.
Lou Duva: He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.
You can sum up this sport in two words: You never know.
Bill Peterson: You guys line up alphabetically by height.