With Auntie Agatha: email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, Tel: 08054500626Dear Agatha,
I am the first in our family and would be 36 in June. I am seriously bothered by my single status. Most of my friends, age mates and even younger brothers and cousins are all married. It’s so embarrassing as my younger brother will soon be a father.
Can marriage turn my finance around?
My father has tried all he could to get me a wife but I always remain uncooperative. My attitude is due to finance. Business has not been good for sometime and I know I need a steady flow of income for me to start contemplating marriage. Many of my friends are saying that I am too averse to risk. They said that marriage is a risk worth taking and that God would provide since he ordained the first marriage in the Bible.
Agatha, is it true that some ladies bring good luck to some men after marriage? I need your reply urgently.
Dear Worried Bachelor,
And what if the business doesn’t pick up immediately, would you wait indefinitely?
There is nothing that is risk free in life. We are daily forced by the dynamics of life to make choices at every turn in life. Life itself is risky. The choice a baby makes from the labour room to stay alive is one of the greatest risks we make. Those babies who die at birth are those who just refuse to take a chance on this world; who didn’t want to take any risk at all.
The more we stay, the higher the 'demurrage' we pay for the risks we took at birth. Therefore, there is no risk we take in life that doesn’t have a compensation tied to it at the end of the day.
If we refuse to take a risk because we are afraid of the consequences of doing so, we pay the price of stagnation because we have given in to the command of fear.
There is nothing to marriage. It is as simple as breathing. Its complications come from the choice of a partner we make and not from the process of marriage itself.
Once a man or woman gets to the adult age of marriage, if not married, it becomes a real challenge to him or her.
Money isn’t all for a man to have a good marriage. Granted, it is a necessity but it doesn’t guarantee the success of a marriage. More than money, you need a woman who is full of understanding, caring, and patience, who is equally industrious, selfless, respectful, and appreciative to make a marriage work.
Rather than wait until you have the money, begin from the basic, look for the woman first. Marriages, these days, are the responsibilities of the couple, not just the man alone. A lot of wedding ceremonies are, these days, funded by both the man and the woman, sometimes more by the woman if her man isn’t in the best financial position to do anything. Let the woman decide that you don’t have enough money to keep her in your house, let the woman decide how much money she would need before she can make you a good wife and provide the support base you need from her.
Let the woman define what financial comfort means to her. It is not your place as the man to defeat yourself by pointing at your financial inability. If you are unable to boost your confidence how will a woman do that for you?
If you keep giving the excuse of finance, it means you are not really ready to venture into matrimony at all because from what I know of a lot of couples, only few ever have enough money in the bank when they decided to marry.
A lot of them today have more than they started out with because through the decision to marry, they unlock the key of success attached to matrimony by God.
Every marriage has its key of success. The moment a man or woman goes into matrimony, the God of sustenance steps in to offer sustainability to the couple. There may not be enough money for everything but the money needed to go from one day to the other never ceases to come in for those who know and have faith in God. This is the spiritual aspect of marriage. Because two people are now praying together, marriage attracts the presence of God to make it work at all cost. By the act of marriage a couple is reminding God of His reason and covenant for creating that institution, hence His provision when called upon.
In practical terms, two are better than one. When a man and woman combine their resources, wisdom, dreams and commitment, things are bound to work faster and better than coming from one person.
Once a man is married to his soul mate, the one ordained for him by God, things are bound to work well for the man. The problem is usually that of not waiting to hear from God before deciding on the choice of a woman for wife.
Remember a man who finds a good wife has found everything good. Look for that good woman first and every thing would follow.