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Would you marry someone who has divorced at least twice?

Written by Jesusegun Alagbe - Punch, Nigeria

Fasilat, Adebola and Samuel
People divorce for many reasons, especially when they could not reconcile their differences with their partners. However, in the quest for looking for the perfect partner, many don't mind divorcing more than once.

Would you marry someone who has divorced legally at least twice?

I'll put my unborn children in danger if I do
Nnadi Chidiebere
Before making decisions in life, it's always good to think of the people that will be affected by them. Many times, it's not about the decision maker, but the people around them. Marriage, to me, is not all about the pleasure; it's about raising a generation. If I marry someone who has divorced more than once, how am I sure she would not leave me also after a while? If we have children in the process, what happens to them? It's like putting them in danger, especially in the future. I don't think such a relatonship is worth it. There are single ladies who are looking for husbands out there, so I have alternatives.

I can't
Olanike Fasilat
It's not even a matter of I may not; I cannot. Marriage is not about just meeting a man and getting hooked with him. It's more than that. What are the circumstances surrounding his serial practice of divorce? Were all the women he once got married to bad? I don't think so. Maybe he's the one that didn't make things work because I can't just understand why a man will divorce more than once. That means he can't manage relationships. It's better to avoid such.

It's not feasible
Ogungbile Matthew
Let me say it's not feasible — I mean I cannot think of such happening to me. You don't just marry a divorcee except if their partner is dead. While their partner is still alive, it is good that both of them find the means of reconciling their differences and be back together as a couple. So if I meet a divorcee whose ex is alive, I'd advise her to reconcile rather than marrying her.

I would avoid it by all means
Adepeju Adebola
There are some relationships one has to avoid by all means so that one would not jeopardise her future. Like this one, it's evident that the man was the cause of the breakups of previous marriages. Marrying him is going to be like riding a rollercoaster, full of many ups and downs. He could have made them work. He could just want to use me as he probably used the women he previously married. That's a great sin and he should repent by reconciling. That's not a good lifestyle. No woman is perfect and he should have known that. You just have to make your marriage work.

If she's a good woman, I can
Alade Kabiru
Which law on earth forbids a man from marrying a woman that he loves and cares for? The last time I checked, there was no such law. It is just that here in Africa, we so much give regard to things that are very simple to handle. It is not because we are more righteous or holier, but we tend to pretend a lot. Many people are. For instance, if she is a woman that is going to add value to me, what stops me from marrying her? It could be due to many circumstances beyond her control that she left previous marriages. She could be a good woman. If I find out she is, I can marry her.

It's better to avoid it
Azeez Mariam
What I cannot manage I will try as much as possible to avoid. There is no assurance that a man who had divorced many women would make his next marriage work. That's just the truth. To avoid having the same fate of his previous wives, I would avoid the relationship. I would not even want to see that kind of man as being loving and caring because if he were, he would not have taken for granted the love of the previous women in his life.

I may consider it
Oyedele Samuel
There could be many reasons behind her condition. Meanwhile, being a divorcee is not a disease and it does not call for stigmatisation. If she is not going to be a liability on me and doesn't have more than two children, I think I can put it into consideration. She might have not had great relationships before and it is possible she has it with me. If it is according to our fate, who am I not to accept it?

It's a complex decision to make
Mary Okumoko
There are so many questions I would ask him, aside from making my own findings. I would find out what could have led to his practice of serial divorcing. If I found out that he's a good man, I could pray about it to know God's will. However, it is a very complex issue. It's not just one decision I have to take on my own. I have to involve so many people so that I would not be making a grave mistake in my life.

It's hard to give an answer
Omotayo Emmanuel
This is definitely one of the toughest questions I've ever heard in my life because it doesn't have a straightforward answer. There are certain decisions one has to be very careful before making them in life and I think this is one of them. If the lady in question is not too old and I feel like we are compatible with each other, I may marry her and we can even live happily forever. The past is gone and I should not emphasise on it. There is a better future ahead. However, one could also be walking into the pit by doing so. I'll consider many things before I decide.

There'd always be alternatives
Okelola Ebunoluwa
Before I do that, I will think well about it. Meanwhile, he is not the only man on the earth, so I believe if I couldn't marry him, there would be alternatives. Maybe he is a player, dumping women as he wills. It will be dangerous to fall into the hands of such a man. I think I would get mine as time goes on.

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