Written by Jesusegun Alagbe - Punch, Nigeria
|Adediwura, Adeleke and John|
One might think bedwetting is only a preserve for children, but recent researches have shown that bedwetting among adults is a top secret that is discussed in hushed tones or better still, never revealed. Urologists at the Bladder and Bowel Foundation recently stated that one in 100 adults will be affected by bedwetting at some point during their lifetime and that it often runs in families. It is against this backdrop that some Nigerians were asked what they would do if their spouses bed-wetted on their wedding night:
I'd feel highly embarrassed
It depends on what made her to bed-wet, because I know that too much of alcohol can make someone to bed-wet. Also, if one is on anti-inflammatory drugs, one can bed-wet. If it's beyond the ordinary, then I will know what to do. But I'll definitely look at the antecedent - at least we must have been together for some time before we went into wedding. If it happened before the wedding night, I wouldn't have married her. But if I discovered on our wedding night, then I would feel highly embarrassed and ask her reasons why she did that. All the same, it's her problem which I think we can find solution to. I wouldn't chase her out.
I'll make him stop taking water at night
That kind of man will turn one into a dry-cleaner almost every day. It is not a funny matter because it is happening, not to me, though. I cannot imagine this happening because it will be like a dream to me. But what will I do? Maybe I will ask him to stop drinking water and other drinks at night. I hope this helps him.
I wouldn't know what to do
That is a serious one. I remember that as a child, our parents would always do all they could to ensure that we stopped that habit. It is a very bad one and to see that my spouse, who is an adult, bed-wets on our wedding night, it is going to make me to be speechless. I don't want to even imagine it. Will I scold her or just let her be? Seriously, I don't even know.
He should find a solution to his problem
This is his problem, not mine. And the responsibility of every man is to find solutions to the problems that confront him. I hope he will be able to make his own findings on how he will stop the habit. It doesn't speak well of a man at all and it is a shame. I will beg him to find a solution to that problem.
We may not sleep on same bed again
First, if she admits of being guilty of the offence - because it's a real offence when an adult bed-wets - we will sit down together and think of ways to salvage the situation. It's not a good thing. Every parent expects that at a certain age, their children will stop the habit. Now carrying that into adulthood is a big embarrassment. However, I will help her to look for ways to stop the habit, or else we may not sleep on the same bed again.
I'll carry my cross
There are certain things one cannot know until after wedding. I will just assume this is one of them. It will come as a shock to me, but there is nothing I can do but to support him with prayers or looking for means to help him stop bed-wetting. He too must be highly embarrassed. All the same, it's my cross and I will bear it - while the search for a solution is on.
Her parents are to blame
I'm not going to scold her because she is not a child, but I believe she must be highly embarrassed of her action. This is unheard of. Meanwhile, I will blame the parents for not helping her to stop the habit before she reached the age of marriage. It must have been that they did not take it seriously and she too was not willing to help herself. I will order her to find a lasting solution to her problem so that I will not feel bad in our marriage.
I will lambast him
This would make me wonder that prior to when he grew up to that age what he had been doing about the matter. Was he taking it for granted? Surely, I will lambast him to make him find a solution to that problem. How could an adult be bed-wetting? I would be puzzled. After all my bewilderment, I may overlook it, but if it happens again, perhaps we will start sleeping on different beds. It's just that he will make me wash the bed-sheet always.
No one will know about it
This calls for a certain level of understanding and maturity to handle the issue. If I am not wise enough, this little matter can lead to a serious one. In fact, many couples that are being separated today, it's because of this type of issue. They will only come out to say they separated due to irreconcilable differences, many of which are reconcilable. If this should happen to me, I will not even allow anyone to know about it and thank God it's not a disease; it's just a habit that can be stopped. I will help her do that.
I'll wake him up every night to pee
There are men that take too much of alcohol and this can happen to them. Some will even vomit on the floor, which could be embarrassing. Seriously, that's why as a woman, I must have asked him questions before the wedding night on his lifestyle. At least I must have known some things about him. But assuming this happens, it will be tough for me. It will break my heart. In fact, it must be a joke. To help him, I will start waking him up every night to pee and also caution his drinks intake.