Written by Lady Helen Noyo Owie
Lady Helen Noyo Owie, LSJI, JP is daughter of Mary USA.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Thursday, October 27, 2016.
I HAVE chosen to speak on the topic "WHO IS A HUSBAND". The scripture tells us in Ephesians 5 vs 28,33 that husbands should love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. A husband is a male in a marital relationship, the rights and obligation of a husband regarding his spouse, others and his status in the community and in-laws vary between cultures and have varied overtime. Husband is the head of a legally married union to a woman, be it in the church, that is holy matrimony, or in the Registry – Court marriage or just the native law and custom.
The man, therefore, should see his wife as a help-mate- Gen. 2 vs 18. And the Lord said it is not good for a man to be alone. God made for man a suitable companion to help him. Gen. 2 vs 21 – man therefore should love his wife just as he loves his body- Malachi 2 vs 14, Gen. 2 vs 24. Husbands should be faithful to their wives. Marriage is an institution ordained by God. Gen. 2 vs 24.
For this reason the man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife and they shall become one. Therefore, husbands should see their wives as help mates, sister and dependable ally, as the bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh- Gen. 2 vs 23-25. Husbands, therefore, should realise that the wife is created by God for him- Gen. 2 vs 21. The husband should therefore be conscious of the fact that his destiny is tied to that of his wife. As a husband you are the head of the home.
You must try to build a good home in the face of the moral and societal ills of our society. And give a good leadership role to your family. You will agree with me that not all husbands are husbands, some are fathers, some big boys, some adults, some men. The real husband the Bible tells us in Gen. 2 vs 24. Ephesian 5 vs 25-28, 33 Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. Let me delve briefly into the role of a father. John 10 vs 11
- a. Father is a shepherd:
The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He knows his own and his own knows him and lays down his life for his sheep. The husband must be the sheep by name e.g. knowing the birthday of his wife, sizes of shoes, dresses etc. for a woman is like a handset, if you press the right button, you get her cheaply.
- b. A father carries the staff of office:
c. As fathers you must be a reconciller and not a divider:
For example, the prodigal son. Luke 15 vs 12, 13, 17, 18, 19 "Now his elder son was in the field and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said unto him, thy brother is come, and thy father hath killed the prize calf, because he hath receive him safe and sound. And he was angry and would not go in; therefore came his father out and intreated him. And he answering said to his father, lo these many years do I serve 'you, I have neither transgressed at any time thy commandment; and yet thou never gavest me a kid that I may make merry with my friends.”Luke 15 vs 31-32. The father who is a reconciler said son you are always with me, all I have is yours, get up let's go make merry and be glad for your brother who was dead is alive again, was lost and is found. He pleaded with the Senior son to forgive and forget, he built a bridge of love, reconciliation, peace and forgiveness between the two sons.
Husbands as reconcilers
Never disrespect your wife before your people or your guest or take her matter to your family or take the side of your mother or sisters or siblings or children against your wife. Correct and accept her wrong doings. If she is ugly love her, if she doesn't know how to cook love and correct her and she will learn. Don't be a grown up man always seeking your friends or mother's advice in matters that concerns your wife and family.
Women easily learn from their mistakes. Husbands as reconcilers should try always to defend their wives in good times and in bad times, be their advocate, be ready to put his life on the line in love for her, be a good umbrella for her, make your shoulder a comfortable resting place/pillar for her. Try heard to remove the spots and wrinkles from her face, turn her to a master piece on earth. Make her your box of inestimable jewelry. Husband is the crown on a woman's head. The thick Ugbe-gbe cloth that covers the woman's emptiness. Therefore, the peace, love, unity and harmony of the home should be paramount in his heart. Always do things to commend the royalty, love and respect of your wife. The husband must be a bridge builder.
- d. Fathers are royal people:
- e. Fathers are care-givers and not care-takers:
Husband's first priority
If the spirit of God is upon the husband he can do anything for the wife and give her unconditional love just has Christ did to us and the church. Ephesians 2, John 10 vs 11. Inconvenience yourself in so many ways to make her happy. Every husband who loves his wife will make her comfortable and not a sex mate or partner or baby factory. The husband's first priority is the comfort of his wife, he should see the wife as an integral part of him that should be cherished and loved.
- f. Leadership role:
g.Unity in the home:
Not money but love, communication is the key that unifies marriage. Try to do things in common, e.g. eating together, etc.; love and influence your wife, don't force; up light not down grade, don't disgrace. The crown of the husband is the integrity of the family. The wisdom of the man to know what to do the right time and how to carry the woman along makes the home happy.
When Jesus is in the family
Happy, happy home 2x
Know your priority, e.g. building a house instead of buying flashy cars, etc.; living a flamboyant life.
- A father must possess the ability to maintain a good cordial relationship with his wife and know that he is a product of god's mercy:
- Fathers are sanctifiers not defilers:
Some men go after girls that are under-age, small enough to be their daughter or having relationships with memebrs etc, fornication leads to sin, and sin denies him from receiving God's favours and blessings.
- Fathers are prophets: God made husbands in this unique way by the fact of his anointing through, baptism, anointing during marriage and through anointing with the oil of Creson.
God, give us a Christian homes! 2x
Homes where the Bible loved and taught
Homes where the Master's will is sought;
Homes crowned with beauty Thy love hath wrought;
God, give us Christian homes,
God, give us Christian homes.
- God, give us Christian homes! 2x
Homes that are free from the blight of wrong, ,
Homes that are joyous with love and song';
God, give us Christian homes,
God, give us Christian homes.
- Fathers are the first teacher/catechist: A family whose fatheris not prayerful that family is in trouble. Fathers must pray to generate power. If he is not prayerful, he cannot function well. There is a disonnection. A prayerful man is a powerful man. Fathers should always lead prayers in the family.