The Patient Wife Gets Her Man At What Cost!

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, September 18, 2016. 

IT was a little incident, but it opened the floodgate of nostalgia, I'd arrived late at a wedding reception and was ushered to what looked like the high table. The groom's mother is a close friend. I sensed rather than saw this look of disapproval burning into my scalp. I turned, and there she was – Dolapo's wife. I held her gaze and gave as much hostility as she emitted. She promptly looked away. How long ago was it? Over 20 years at least. I'd met Dolapo on a flight from abroad when he wangled his way to the empty seat by my side in first class. Those were the good old days!

The goodies I didn't want jostled about in the haul was deliberately perched on the empty seat next to mine. I had to shift for Dolapo to sit down. It later expired that the seat was booked in his assistant's name but he quickly nudged the poor man towards his own seat so he could sit next to me. I wasn't really interested in what he had to say. Someone else had treated me to this holiday and I'd had fun. Then I noticed he was a picky eater. First, he didn't touch the individual pot of caviar that was served with the starter. Then the lobster in his main dish was left untouched. "I'm allergic to sea food," he whined. Deftyly, I scooped the lobster on to my plate and retrieved the pot of caviar.

"That moment you stole my food," Dolapo later boasted, "I knew I would get my pound of flesh!" And he was a very easy person to love. In spite of his position, he conducted our affair as if he were single. Our social outings were very public and once or twice, his private driver had hinted I should ask him to be a bit careful, that whenever he sent him to mine, it was always within ear- short of the poor wife.


What exactly was I supposed to do? From the little he told me, his marriage obviously wasn't up to much. What was more, I was almost divorced, I had no irate husband to worry about. We were together every opportunity we had and the man's appetite for sex was insatiable! It was as if he couldn't have enough of me. Even when we were apart, I had one of these cordless phones with a very wide range as mobiles weren't in vogue then. I took the phone everywhere I went and became a laughing stock with my friends.

Still, Dolapo's wife's ghost was always there. I saw both of them together a few times in the dailies and she fitted my image of a dull, frumpy wife. Even the wig she always had on looked like a badly used mop. I was never a frumpy dresser and for him, I pushed the boat out a bit – wearing really flattering gears any time we were together. And he often spent the night too – his martyr of a wife never questioned him and they had separate bedrooms.

Marriage: Marriage is not for Everyone

Topics:
Marriage is not for Everyone
Five steps to save your marriage
__________________________________

Marriage is not for Everyone
Written by Ogaga Otaotu

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, September 18, 2016.

The Mature Single Woman(MSW) is an unmarried single lady who is of the age 30 and above. Today's Woman spoke to some beautiful ladies during the week and they shared their day to day experiences in the office, public places, at home and at events. Some said they had to deal with all sorts challenges from: neighbors, male colleagues and relatives. The question is "Is it a crime to be a mature single lady?"

Forty-year-old Abike, a banker, said just recently, there arose the issue of attendance in her office. Her male colleague claimed he arrived the office before her but was trying to tidy up some things in the car before she signed in.

An argument ensued and before you could say hey! the young man blurted "Oh ...you think you can talk to me like that? I don't blame you... that is why you can never be married".

As far as Abike is concerned, you get to hear that line regularly as a mature single lady. It can either be told to your face or behind you. She has however learnt to laugh it off.

Nnena, 36year old business woman, recounted a bitter experience she had some months ago. She got to her business place in high spirit and was busy tending to her goods when her neighbor came in to remind her of the outstanding electricity bill.

She had not paid because she was away the previous week. What started as a mild disagreement led to a heated argument and the neighbor dropped the usual line "that's why you are not married, because of your bad attitude". Nnenna wept sore, locked up her store and went home.

Affairs with married women are not as 'safe' as men think – Reader

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, August 28, 2016.

FROM time to time, I get letters from you readers that are so interesting that I feel I ought to share them with the rest of you. A few days back, a letter simply signed "Iyabode" popped up on my e-mail and I couldn't help chuckling to myself as I read it. She wrote: "Dear Bunmi, I am one of the regular readers of your articles in The Vanguard every Sunday, and I do not even know how fully I can express my feelings about your articles. If I may tell you, they have really improved my lifestyle and I always make copies available to friends whenever the need arises.

Bunmi, I shall be grateful if you can please help write something one of these days on: Why men of today prefer married women as girlfriends. Honestly speaking, it is a vogue in town these days. Please help emphasize on the following points:

Class: This set of married women are known for their own class. Most of them are wives of rich and notorious men. These men also go out at all times with extremely younger girls, leaving their wives and kids at home, thinking that money can fix everything, forgetting about love and happiness.

Sex: This category of ladies are preferred by men because they do have wide sexual experiences and they are very safe as they don't pester the men for marriage.

Fashion: These ladies are very fashion conscious. They are seen in designer dresses and at beauty parlours. They do not mind how much they spend on manicures, pedicures and professionally

Male hairdressers: Why women prefer them

By Josephine Agbonkhese & Anino Aganbi
~Vanguard Nigeria. Thursday, June 23, 2016

Ugo Igbokwe, celebrity hairstylist

WHEN you think hairdressing, you naturally think women and nothing more. But that isn't the case anymore as more and more young men continue to give female hairstylists a real run for their money. A visit by Woman's Own to major hairdressing hubs around town proved this-and we're sure you've got proofs in your neighbourhood too.

Interestingly, these men do not require luxurious shops to steal the hearts of customers. With a make-shift salon of any kind, any female hairstylist who has got a shop near one of them either folds up in no time or branches into other trades to stay relevant and earn a living.

It however still remains a mystery how men would become better at dressing a woman's hair-a business that was traditionally female, than women themselves.

Attention to detail: But are they (men) actually better at hair making or is it all in the mind of women who are perhaps thrilled about having the opposite sex touch their hair? Why do customers swarm around them like bees to honey?"I think they pay more attention to detail.

That's where they beat female hairstylists. Women around me prefer them too. If you go to prominent hairstylists in Surulere in Lagos for example, you'll find that they are owned by men and also attract A-list artists and celebrities from across the country. In fact, one of the best hairstylists in Nigeria today is Ugo Igbokwe and he is male.

"One thing you also notice when you visit these salons owned by men is that women would prefer to queue up and wait for their male workers to make their hair rather than let their female workers who are probably less busy, make their hair," said Christie Anyanwu, a Lagos-based professional who resides in Surulere, an area of Lagos renowned for hair-making.Mubo Alade, a front-desk officer in a telecommunication firm in Lagos, also finds male hairdressers very intriguing.

Why men don’t forgive their cheating partners

Written by Tunde Ajaja
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, July 17, 2016

In her lone moments, Kolawole Busola, 38, (not real name) would certainly wish she could undo the string of events that led her into the waiting arms of Daniels, a colleague at work.

Married to a businessman, Babatope, 43, who never spent a full week in the house without travelling, and one who never bothered to create the romantic atmosphere for their love and intimacy to grow, Busola still has herself to blame for what she has got herself into.

Her undoing was sharing her worries about her home with a male colleague who offered his advice, counsel and even gave her a shoulder to lean on. They became close and started going out together. She did it so well that her husband never suspected anything.

Not long after, their friendship became platonic (intimate and affectionate but not sexual) and few months after, they ended up in bed, having sexual relationship. They did that more than once, and being something she had missed from her husband, it became a routine to the extent that her husband suspected and started monitoring her, discreetly.

Eventually, Babatope found out that his wife had been cheating on him the day he picked his wife's phone to read her text messages. According to him, that was the end. Not even pleas and admonitions by family members and friends could convince him to shelve his plan to file for divorce.

Love or respect

~The SUN, Nigeria. Sunday, July 10, 2016

SHOW me a woman who does not believe in love and I will show you a liar. Every woman wants to be loved. We all long for that indescribable feeling that keeps our heads in the cloud. That feeling that makes you feel that you and your man are the only ones on the surface of the earth and when he touches you, you feel this tingling sensation running down your spine. His voice does things to your system, etcetera etcetera.

It is a feeling that makes a woman see life through rose-tinted glasses. It is a delicious feeling. It leads you into temptation. It makes you do things that you may later in life wonder how you ever contemplated at all. Sometimes it puts a smile on your face in a crowd of serious people doing serious business when your mind wanders to those loving moments. They all look at you like you are losing it but you are glorying in something you hold or once held so dear.

Sometimes a love experience does not end in marriage and till death do you part but it does not take away from the solid fact that for the rest of your life, you will never forget it. Remember that song:


Everybody, think back

To your very first time

Oh, not when you lost your virginity this time. That could be memorable too but we will talk about that sometime soon.

Love. It makes you defy reason, logic, sound advice. Anything that wants to come between you and your Romeo would simply have to step aside or go to blazes, whichever they prefer.

Did you ever defy your parents for the lover boy? Did you steal your mother's jewelry to sell so your Romeo could buy a ticket to Britain? The things we have all done for love... the things women are still doing for love, in the name of love...Ah. They scare me but what is life without love? It is a feeling every man, every woman must experience. And because the cupid's arrow does not strike often, for some people it is a once in a lifetime thing, it must be savoured.

Common tenants' complaints against landlords

Written by Abiodun Doherty
~Punch, Nigeria. Tuesday, June 14, 2016.

Abiodun Doherty

Landlord and tenant problems are among the most contentious after issues of land ownership and the reasons are obvious. The interests and concerns of both categories are usually divergent or opposed to one another. One tends to wonder why this is often so and what can be done to reduce or eliminate it. In my opinion, the journey to solution in this instance should start with a careful understanding of the key issues that generate these conflicts. A discussion with most tenants reveals the following issues are the common areas of complaints against their landlords.

Most landlord and tenant relationships usually start on a semi-formal level and it is only as these issues build up and are not addressed amicably that they degenerate into a level where the landlord is more comfortable with ejecting the tenant or the tenant is more interested in renting another property than renewing his or her tenancy. When issues arise, it is better to discuss them and find amicable solutions to them where possible.

The primary complaint of tenants is that many landlords do not mind their own business. They tend to interfere in the personal space of their tenants and seek to control everything happening in the property. The obvious reason for this is the fact that many landlords have personal attachment to their properties. They are concerned with the look and feel of the properties. They cannot stand to see anyone inhabiting the property without taking care of it as his or her personal property.

Controversy over dog meat

Written by Doris Obinna
~The SUN, Nigeria. Friday, June 3, 2016.

• It enhances libido, cures malaria -Consumers

• No, dog meat causes health hazards - WHO, vet doctors

Many detest dog meat and everything that has to do with it. They avoid it like a plague. Even the mere mention of dog meat puts them off. Some might even throw up at the mention of it.

However, there are some folks, who eat dog meat and relish it, doing so with every sense of gladness. For them, it is meat like no other.

One of such persons is Nsikan John. The 35-year-old man says dog meat is better than every other meat around.

"If you offer me a variety of meats, including dog meat, I will first go for the dog meat. It not only tastes better, it has medicinal values. I can't remember the last time I treated malaria fever. It fights it off summarily. In fact, dog meat is a common cuisine among my people and we enjoy it so much."

All over the world, dogs are accepted as trusted friends and security guards. But among some people, they suffer terrible fate. They are sold as items of trade, butchered and their meat consumed by humans.

Whereas some people in some climes accept the consumption of dog meat as part of their day-to-day cuisine, some consider the practice a taboo. In some cultures, exigencies of war and hunger sometimes make the consumption of dog meat a necessary practice.

Humane Society International is one of many non-governmental organisations

around the world fighting to end the dog meat trade.

Research shows that every year, an estimated 25 million dogs are killed and consumed. This statistics brings to the fore the telling truth that dogs in many climes suffer a great deal. It is for this reason that it has been stated that commercial dog meat production is inherently cruel. This practice condemns dogs to suffer at every turn. Even the rising belief that the consumption of dog meat might lead in the transmission of diseases does not deter its consumers.

Tips for dating a Nigerian woman

By Femi Ajasa

~Vanguard: Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Dating a typical Nigerian lady can be a topsy-turvy experience especially for a man who is just wetting his feet in the dating game. Normally, women are complicated beings let alone a Nigerian woman who has so many challenges to deal with like an unstable economy, family, tradition, ethnicity, religion, peer pressure, biology and much more. All these factors conspire to influence whoever she will date.

The averageman with his chauvinistic African mindset or perception does not understand this and expect this type of woman to accept him hook, line and sinker. Little does he know that the days of parents marrying wives for their kids isold skooland that most women know what they want. If you want your relationship to blossom with a typical Nigerian woman, Jovago.com, Africa's shares tips that can make this dream a reality.

Give her money to make her hair

Didi,Shooku, andPatewoare traditional hairstyles in Nigeria but young women prefer the Brazilian hair, the deft Ghana weaving, and attachment because it makes them appear sophisticated. They rarely wear their natural hair, adorning these foreign hairstyles cost money and time and she expects her man to foot the bill for her hair. If not always but once in awhile. In other cases, if you notice she is wearing a new hairstyle, it will not kill you to compliment her and perhaps pay for it. Afterwards, it is because of you, she spends that much time at the salon anyways.

Getting married even when you are broke

Written by Ugodre Obi-Chukwu

Twitter: @nairamterics or @ugodre. 

Website: www.nairametrics.com 

~Punch: Thursday, April 7, 2016

Nnamdi has been dating Amaka for about three years now and pressure is mounting on for them to take the relationship to the next level. Nnamdi is approaching his mid-thirties and Amaka is also not getting any younger making time not exactly their friend. Their respective parents are also mounting pressure and do not understand why their children would not just get married soon enough.

Unknown to either parents, Nnamdi and Amaka have a major stumbling block. Apart from being career focused individuals they also believe more importantly that their combined salary is not enough for them to build a home and at the same time pursue their career objectives.

Many of us fall into this trap at some point in our life and if not handled carefully can lead to serious emotional and financial distress. How does one get married without enough money? I will attempt to respond by addressing some of the common excuses we give.

I can't afford wedding "ceremoney" - The thought of preparing for a wedding ceremony is one that scares many off early marriages. Most people consider it a very special event and believe the only way to live a lasting memory is to splurge on it. Having a memorable wedding is important for everyone however, not everyone can afford an expensive and memorable wedding. With proper planning you can have a cheap and memorable wedding as well.

Wedding ceremony shouldn't be seen as a do or die affair as all you have to do is spend what you can afford. What you should realise is that at the end of the day it's about you and your spouse being happily married thereafter and not about the drinks, food and the pageantry that comes with the ceremony. There will be many, many more opportunities to be merry with friends and family.

Where will we live after we get married? -My friend, Victor once told me he got married to his wife when he was still living in a one bedroom flat. After the wedding, they came back home to their one room apartment happier than they could ever imagine. I asked him why and he said the thought of them spending the night together forever was all they wished for and could as well have lived in the car if that's what it will take. The point here is that you need not live in a three bedroom or four bedroom apartment to get married. You could even have just married and still living in your parent's apartment provided you are both focused on the goal.

Knowing when Enough is Enough

Written by Edith Ohaja

~Vanguard, Nigeria. February 29, 2016

Kukah's wife, Ojoma, has done it again! She just keeps pushing till he loses his patience and blows a fuse. She's always going on about his English - how a graduate should not speak the way he does, how a teacher should be a model to the students, blah, blah, blah. Kukah feels the attacks are unjustified. He admits his English is less than perfect, but he often reminds her, "I am a Chemistry teacher for crying out loud and I know a bunch of guys with higher degrees who speak more atrocious English than I do." He learned the term, "atrocious English", from her on one of the occasions she was berating him.

-

It's not like Kukah dozed through his English classes as a student. It's just that the teachers weren't much better than the pupils and it was felt on both sides that what matters most is to be understood. But he admired those who spoke well, which is why he went after his wife. He did ask her to teach him at some point but after she tried explaining about mood in grammar - indicative, subjunctive and so on - he gave up. The whole thing was too confusing.

-

"English is more technical and more illogical than any subject I know: the rules just keep changing, what applies in one case doesn't necessarily apply in all similar cases. Thank God, I scraped through the subject at O'Levels," he had declared then.

-

But his wife was not prepared to write him off as a lost cause. She was not bothered about the garble others spoke, but she was determined to refine her husband's usage of the English language. Which would have been fine and good, except she didn't know the time and place for it.

-

So this morning when her husband, the vice principal, was chatting with colleagues in the staffroom, she tut tutted his observation that Class 5 "beat" Class 6 every year in inter-house football. Ignoring the glare he gave her, she explained that class is a singular noun and thus should go with the singular verb, "beats" and followed that up with a lecture on how important concord is in English. However, Kukah cut her off midway, basically telling her that she and the English should take their unreasonable language with its erratic rules and shove it up you know where.

-

Kukah knew it was a bad idea to teach in the same school with his wife but jobs are hard to find, so he used his influence to secure a place for her. But he was wondering with their constant run-ins on English if that move was really worth the cost. When he got to his office, he began to rearrange the stuff on his table. That was his calm-down mechanism. If he was still boiling by the time he finished with the table, he would work on the entire room.

-

As he was packing books and papers, Mrs. Bulama, a fellow teacher, poked her head through the door. She held his gaze with a sympathetic and indulgent smile and initiated a rather strange conversation. First, she offered to help him reorganize his desk but he told her the desk was fine, that he was just ....

-

"I know how you feel. I am so sorry for that episode out there."

-

One Word That Can End A Friendship

~TheGuardian, Nigerian.

We all have friends and we all know how important it is to have friends for the various reasons that we do; be it for reasons like networking, social life or for the sake of having a life partner. Yes, sometimes they support, encourage and stick with us through thick or thin but there is one major thing that can turn a good and lively friendship into a sour tale of strangers. Can you guess it? it has the following meaning:

1. to be actively and attentively engaged in work or a pastime
2. not at leisure; otherwise engaged

Yes, you guessed it. The one word that can trigger the end or terminate a friendship/relationship is "busy". It's the one word that's driving away your friends and you immediately need to remove it from your vocabulary. To you it may seem fine because you may be at work or occupied at the present time but nobody likes to hear these words:


"I'd love to hang out! But I'm really busy."


"Sorry I didn't get back to you earlier! I've been so busy."

"What's going on with me? Just busy as usual!"


Truthfully, there is nothing wrong in being busy, people can actually have a ton of things to do and still maintain a great relationship. It's not the work that is bothering, it's the word "busy". The word busy makes the other person feel like there is something more important at that present time to do than engaging in the activity in which they would like to do with you,indirectly letting the person know their place in your social scale of preference.


Let's see some other alternatives to telling someone you are "busy":

• Telling them the actual reason you can't meet with them

Be specific with your reason. The easiest way to turn a friend down without hurting their feelings is telling them the real reason you can't meet with them. For instance, a friend invites you for his/her birthday party, writing back "i'dlove to but i'mreally busy" is simply rejecting your friend but saying "i'd love to but Yemi has his office dinner and he want's me to be there this time, i have turned him down twice already. Have a glass of champagne for me. Happy birthday". That's a much nicer way that explains why you can't meet up andyour friend knows you have his/herbest interest at heart.

Why Hot Women Are Single

~TheGuardian, Nigeria

One of this world's most interesting phenomenons is when hot women are single. If you're reading this, chances are you are you are hot and constantly wondering why you're single. Or you know someone who is.

There are countless women in the world who are gorgeous, smart, witty, and down to earth. But in as much as these women are thriving in their careers, extremely loyal to friends and family, and have glorious senses of self-worth, they still find themselves being asked one question over and again - How are you single?

Why are women who meet even the most standard definition of beauty, and seem to be perfect, struggling so much to find dates today? Like, no one is calling up these women to hang out, or sending them drinks or food. And they definitely don't have anyone to call up to come spend time with them on lonely nights.

HERE ARE A COUPLE OF REASONS WHY HOT WOMEN ARE SINGLE:

1. She's no longer interested in dating just for the sake of it

As fun as casual dates can be, there are some people who no longer get any satisfaction from them. Maybe she would rather have one solid date than go on a thousand mediocre ones. It may not make a lot of sense to some people, but most women who feel this way just don't want to go out with a person they can't see themselves with in a long-term situation. While it may come across as being unnecessarily picky, but it's really just that she wouldn't want to waste her time or that of anyone else's.

2. She's done with her "hoe phase"

No, I don't think having casual, meaningless, no-strings-attached sex makes you a hoe. The "hoe phase" is simply a phase of liberated sexual exploration, as far as I'm concerned.

What women want from their men -Funke Felix-Adejumo

Written by CHRISTY ANYANWU - Nigeria. 

Rev (Mrs.) Funke Felix-Adejumo

Renowned international speaker and female empowerment coach, Rev (Mrs.) Funke Felix-Adejumo, spoke on the challenges of womanhood and her experience as a wife for over 30 years.

Excerpts:


You have been married to one man for over 30 years. What has kept you going?


My husband and I have actually been married for 31years. Our marriage will be 32 on September 8. The major and greatest force in our marriage is God. And that's not to sound religious. It is what God keeps that is kept. John 3:27 is my favorite Scripture: "A man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven."


God did not create a world in which He will not be needed. He instituted marriage in the first instance. So He is the greatest marriage expert and consultant.


Both of us are born again Christians so we don't joke with our relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. This reflects in the way we love and honour each other. It reflects in the way we handle misunderstandings. It reflects in everything we do.


In 31 years, my husband and I pray together everyday! When we are not together, we pray on the phone. Remember we did not start traveling separately until a few years ago. That was before technology came into the picture.


Also, we agreed on transparency and honesty. We agreed that this will be the trade mark of our relationship. There's nothing we don't discuss. And I mean absolutely nothing, including the minutest details of life.

Your health and mobile phone

Written by ‘Sola Fagorusi - Punch, Nigeria.

 ‘Sola Fagorusi 

The mobile phone is one of man’s greatest inventions. It provides a fitting solution to man’s ravenous craving for communication. It is even more dependable now that it serves other purposes than just sending text messages and making calls.

Smart mobile phones now aid navigation in communities with maps, capture pictures and videos. The services that mobile apps offer are limitless.

Mobile phones have become the most preferred screen to stare at for many hours, displacing television that hitherto held this record.

Researchers peg the number of hours people spend on their mobile phones at an average of three hours daily. If the figure is put in an empirical form, it means that each year, the average person spends about 1,095 hours staring at or getting something done through the mobile phone. The average person with a mobile phone, therefore, spends 45 days on their mobile phones annually. When contextualised into how many years of an average life span this translates to, the result is frightening.

Smart phones have a great appeal because of the several alternatives they offer. Games, torches, finance management, recorders, alarm clocks and, currency conversion are some of the things they offer. As technology improves, one expects that dependence on this all-important device will also increase.

When men think they are playing games

Written by Biodun Ogungbo - Punch, Nigeria. 

Easy prey

As many women know, men are easy and can be led by their penises in most instances. Men just want to get their rocks off without any emotional baggage. For example, a man took his wife to the hospital. After the consultation, the doctor said, ‘Sir, you will not be able to have sex with your wife for about two weeks while everything heals’. He looked at the doctor incredulously, laughed in derision and said, ‘No problem, I have three wives!’ In effect, it is her loss if her ‘you know what’ is out of commission. Nothing to do with him! With free sex on tap, most men will say, ‘Yes, I love you’, to the devil herself!

So, let us have some fun with men.

First, a joke

A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. I think it was one of those quick Mike Tyson fights. The husband sighs and complains, ‘This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!’ ‘Good,’ replied his wife. ‘Now you know how I feel.’ Wham, bang, thank you, Madam!

A conference for love

Heard about the man who told his wife he was off for a three-day church conference. ‘Okay’, said the wife but first, let us pray. She said, ‘Lord, grant my husband great journey.’ ‘Amen’, he shouted. ‘Weaken his manhood, if he tries to commit adultery’. The husband was silent. ‘Kill him if he commits….’ At this point, the husband shouted, ‘Shut up, shut up.’ ‘I am no longer going on the trip’. ‘The Holy Spirit has just told me the conference has been cancelled’.

The devil in mobiles

Mobiles might boost your love life but can also help you catch that love rat!

~Vanguard, Nigeria. 

Sending erotic messages from one cell phone to another has become liberating to the average enthusiast today. It is no longer news that a lot of mobile users now dabble in typed foreplay and sizzling erotic messages that make the mind boggle! The devil, they say, makes work for idle hands (thumbs?), so why not keep them busy by texting?

When the texting bug first bit, everybody thought it was a teenage craze but it looks like anybody that can master the technique of their mobile instantly becomes hooked! Only these days, there are some texting etiquette to follow, to make sure you get it right to a T! With testing going through the roof especially during festive periods, readers need a few tips.

"Before texting became popular, you had to make solid arrangement to see someone before you left the house," commented a top mobile sales executive. "Now we're a lot more flexible and spontaneous – you can be walking down the road, fancy a drink at your favourite spot, and text your mates to join you. We can also keep in touch with a lot moire people, even if we don't speak to them that much, they become text friends." But texting has also changed our lives – and not always for the better. A lot of affairs are constantly being discovered when a suspicious partner decides to investigate his or her other half's phone. These discoveries have given rise to the number of love-rats, making partners more suspicious than ever before.

"But think of the boost and freedom the mobile has given to our love lives!" enthused Muni, a 35-year-old businesswoman. 'Thanks to the mobile, spicing up your sex life doesn't have to involve elaborate new mattress moves. All you need to do, wherever and whenever the bug bites you, is pick up the phone. If you want to turn your man on like never, first send a couple of erotic texts to him, then seek a private spot to use your mobile – it could even be in the loo!

The human mind and wild, wild wealth

Written by Fola Ojo - Punch, Nigeria

Fola Ojo

February 6, 1985. The 40th President of the United States, Ronald Reagan, spoke these words during his STATE OF THE UNION address to the American people: “Let us begin by challenging our conventional wisdom. There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect.”

The human mind is an arsenal from which all things good and bad flow. It functions like a compass which gives a navigational direction to a ship. Where the human mind travels, the physical body sails. From the human mind comes a mindset. A mind which is set on a particular course cruises unfettered until a goal is achieved. When bars of iron break and bend for a man or for a nation, they do so first in the mind. The Nigerian citizenry at this time requires a sound mind revamping and rejuvenation.

Every nation has its own mind from where values and virtues flow. The mind of a nation is driven by the minds of those in leadership. And the minds of leaders in turn influence the minds of the citizens. When a society enthrones a man with a perverted mind, all you’ll have as results are perversion, dirt and stench. When you enthrone a man whose stock-in-trade is amassing wealth through dishonest means, the result will be a nation filled and ruled by dishonest beings. Thieves beget thieves; all thieving abilities and societal ills are rooted in the soil and basement of the mind. If corruption and stealing of public funds are acceptable lifestyles in a clime, it is because the mind of that community has become a fructuous ground for reproducing the debauchery.

Nigeria and the future of the black world -Ambassador Carrington

Written by Enyioha Opara, Minna, Punch-Nigeria.

The purloining of Benin's magnificent treasures may have begun with the long ago British so-called punitive expedition which resulted in the looting of the palace of King Ovonramwen. But it didn't end there. It continues still. So, I am here to confess to my own culpability. Twenty years ago, I stole away your most beautiful modern treasure, my beloved wife, Arese. What a great honour it is to be with her here today in the city of her royal ancestors.

There was a time when Europeans marvelled at what they referred to as Great Benin. Travellers returned home, each outdoing his predecessor, with tales of an African Kingdom the equal of their own royal courts in organisation and administration. Its treasures and artistic masterpieces were widely envied. Then, in 1897, came what the pages of the London Times proclaimed as the "Benin Disaster" leading to the sending out of that punitive expedition to avenge the deaths of members of a British delegation allegedly at the orders of local officials. It resulted in the overthrow and exile of the Oba and the looting of his palace. While intricately carved Benin Ivories had been known to Europeans for three centuries, the hitherto carefully guarded Bronzes, became, at the dawn of the colonial scramble for Africa, stolen booty, spoils of war triumphantly displayed for the first time on foreign shores.

That the "dark continent" could have produced such great art, in the words of a BBC documentary, "changed European understanding of African history." But many who should have known better were discombobulated. The curator of British Museum, at the time, declared:

"It needs scarcely be said that at the first sight of these remarkable works of art, we were at once astounded at such an unexpected find, and puzzled to account for so highly developed an art among a race so entirely barbarous."

"Barbarous!" that is what they thought all black people to be.

And so it has ever been. Whether discussing African art or ancient ruins like Great Zimbabwe, they fantasised that they must have been copied or inspired by artisans of lighter hue (meaning their fellow Europeans) or even aliens from another planet. Anybody but black people! It was greatly satisfying to me when a friend of mine, the African art expert, Warren Robbins, opened an exhibition in Washington, a few years ago, demonstrating that several modern art masters such as Picasso were in fact heavily influenced by (or even copied) the traditional art of many African societies.

What do men and women want from each other?

Written by GLORIA OGUNBADEJO  - Punch, Nigeria

GLORIA OGUNBADEJO 

People tend to ask couples who have been married for a long period what their secrets are. I always find it an odd question because by virtue of the word secret, it suggests it is not something one wants to share. Besides, one couple’s successful ingredients may not work for another.

The two most important questions asked relating to the dynamics between the genders are what do men want from women and what do women want from men? It is one thing to know the answer and make a decision on how to respond to it.

However, it is a whole different ball game as it is mostly the case not to have a clue. When we strip away all the confusion and complexities of the 21st Century living where gender roles are not so defined, sometimes tipping the balance to the point of non-recognition, there have been and will continue to be some basic primordial impulses and needs between the sexes.

Women primarily want a strong man to protect them, to provide strong genes to father their offspring. Men want a woman with child bearing hips to produce their babies and they want their women to be a mother to the children and to them.

Below is a vignette of a discussion between a group of men and women about the topic

Fast forward to modern day living where we would all agree the story and attitudes are somewhat different.

Although some argue that the intentions and needs are really still the same and that is why relations are in so much chaos because couples are trying to go against the grain and are fighting their basic nature.