Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 19, 2017.
ALCOHOLICS have always been accused of making the lives of their loved ones miserable whenever the dreaded alcohol takes over their personality. And this happens as often as they get drunk. When Tomi's father died a couple of years ago, she was heartbroken and bitter that their mother's hostility towards him, especially when he was ill, coupled with her unreasonable grumpiness to the children hastened their father's departure to the grave.
"Our dad was diagnosed with cancer over three years ago. He needed extra care at home and I rescheduled my work at the school I ran so, I could be with him more often. Dad welcomed the change, but mum didn't," Tomi, a 42-year -old mother of three said. "Even before our dad became ill, I had a difficult relationship with our mum. In our teens, my sisters and I would cringe as we listened to her pick fights with dad. She was clingy, jealous and self-absorbed. I had to endure hours of her complaining about him when I got home from school – details too intimate for a daughter to hear about her parents' relationship. My sisters used to disappear but as the eldest, I had to endure it. At some point, I felt brave enough to tell her she wasn't being fair, that he was my dad and I loved him. Her focus has always been inwards, which means she barely asks about my life. Dad, on the other hand, was immensely proud of me and we could talk for hours – this made her more resentful.
"When I spent those last few months with him, I tried hard to talk about anything but his illness. Meanwhile, mum became a martyr to his care, complaining how exhausted she was, while pushing away offers of help. I tried to anticipate what I could do to relieve her burden, yet knew this irritated her. It came to a head one evening when she asked me directly if I got homesick. I replied that my husband was fully in charge of the kids and understood why I had to be with my father in his dying moments. She kept on at me until dad asked her to shut up. Next morning, she told me point blank she wanted time alone with him and that I was welcome to visit at the weekends.
"After dad's death, my sisters and I (and dad's siblings and friends) were relegated to small parts in a play that put our mum's grief at centre stage. This all with the embarrassment of her drinking to excess. She has no sense of self-awareness, so never thinks to curtail her drinking to save her children from public embarrassment. My recent birthday was dominated by keeping her from harm and putting her to bed, stark drunk. I tend not to hold grudges, but with mum I can't slake off something close to hate – since I spent more time crying over the way she treated me than I did for my dying father.
"She offers comments that our (me and my sisters') loss isn't as crippling as hers and this makes me angry. How do I get to be a good daughter when I have to brace myself to call her and don't want to visit her on my own? Our dad's death has proved he was the glue between mum and the children, and now there's nothing."
Afrisonet: Universally African and Socially Responsible. We are on the path to the total discovery of the people in today's Africa. Repositioning, to have a way, a say and to make a difference! Be Part.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
How to successfully tame your hostile mother-in-law!
By Okogba
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 19, 2017.
DUNNI has been a sort of little brother for years now, and he freely comes to me any time he wants any advice. Not that much was happening in his life, not for a long time at least. An only child, he schooled in Britain and only came home when his mum had a mild stroke and could no longer run the family furniture business. His dad had passed on long before then and he confessed he couldn’t cope. “I’m not the businessman type”, he moaned "the first time he discussed the family business with me. ”I’ve noticed how firmly mum deals with the workers but I don’t really have the bottle. For a start, I know little or nothing about the staff, and for another I can’t really shout when things go wrong. I’m not the aggressive type".
I told him to keep his ears to the ground, look for one or two allies amongst the staff and tap their brain. It seemed to work for a while until one of the ‘allies’ started giving him the eye. Handsome is hardly a word to described Dunni, but he is intelligent and kind. In his early thirties, he could count the number of girlfriends he’s had on the finger. His idea of a wild night was having a good meal at a decent restaurant and topping that up with choice wine. So when he started going out with Fareedah, his mum’s personal assistant, I was happy for him.
When he brought her to the house however, my enthusiasm dipped. The girl was very pretty and extremely extroverted. She was considerably younger. What would she want with drab Dunni when she could have her pick of men? But then, I chided myself, she could have had her heart broken by a few Casanovas and wanted to give Mr. Nice Man a chance.
Dunni admitted he was a bit wary of falling in love with her when we next met. “But she is very "caring, Auntie,” he said. “You know I didn’t have that much experience with dating women, but she’d since taken care of that. The shyness I usually felt when I was near women disappeared when I went out with her the first time and she kissed me, I could hardly contain myself. As a result, our first experience at lovemaking was almost disastrous; I had no confidence because it had been such a long time I was with a woman that it was over almost before it started. But she was patient with me and the next time was better. Now we have the sort of sex I’d only ever dreamt of … ”
When I asked if he’d met any of her friends and family he told me her parents were dead. “I’ve met her friends and they are really nice,” he assured me. “If they thought it was odd her going out with me when she was so pretty and younger, they didn’t show it. Anyway, I’ve changed so much since I met her. She’s overhauled my wardrobe and made me buy a sexier car.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 19, 2017.
DUNNI has been a sort of little brother for years now, and he freely comes to me any time he wants any advice. Not that much was happening in his life, not for a long time at least. An only child, he schooled in Britain and only came home when his mum had a mild stroke and could no longer run the family furniture business. His dad had passed on long before then and he confessed he couldn’t cope. “I’m not the businessman type”, he moaned "the first time he discussed the family business with me. ”I’ve noticed how firmly mum deals with the workers but I don’t really have the bottle. For a start, I know little or nothing about the staff, and for another I can’t really shout when things go wrong. I’m not the aggressive type".
I told him to keep his ears to the ground, look for one or two allies amongst the staff and tap their brain. It seemed to work for a while until one of the ‘allies’ started giving him the eye. Handsome is hardly a word to described Dunni, but he is intelligent and kind. In his early thirties, he could count the number of girlfriends he’s had on the finger. His idea of a wild night was having a good meal at a decent restaurant and topping that up with choice wine. So when he started going out with Fareedah, his mum’s personal assistant, I was happy for him.
When he brought her to the house however, my enthusiasm dipped. The girl was very pretty and extremely extroverted. She was considerably younger. What would she want with drab Dunni when she could have her pick of men? But then, I chided myself, she could have had her heart broken by a few Casanovas and wanted to give Mr. Nice Man a chance.
Dunni admitted he was a bit wary of falling in love with her when we next met. “But she is very "caring, Auntie,” he said. “You know I didn’t have that much experience with dating women, but she’d since taken care of that. The shyness I usually felt when I was near women disappeared when I went out with her the first time and she kissed me, I could hardly contain myself. As a result, our first experience at lovemaking was almost disastrous; I had no confidence because it had been such a long time I was with a woman that it was over almost before it started. But she was patient with me and the next time was better. Now we have the sort of sex I’d only ever dreamt of … ”
When I asked if he’d met any of her friends and family he told me her parents were dead. “I’ve met her friends and they are really nice,” he assured me. “If they thought it was odd her going out with me when she was so pretty and younger, they didn’t show it. Anyway, I’ve changed so much since I met her. She’s overhauled my wardrobe and made me buy a sexier car.
Mom's blood pressure predicts baby's sex before conception -Scientists
~Punch Nigeria. Thursday, January 19, 2017.
Some Canadian scientists have said that it is possible to determine the sex of a baby months before it is even conceived.
They say that a woman's blood pressure at around 26 weeks before conception could tell if she will have a boy or a girl.
"Higher systolic blood pressure signals she will deliver a boy while lower suggests a girl," says endocrinologist at Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto, Dr. Ravi Retnakaran.
In a study published in the American Journal of Hypertension, the researchers reached the conclusion as they tried to determine what is responsible for the ratio between girls and boys in a population.
In the new study, the mean systolic blood pressure reading for women who had boys was 106 mm Hg, compared to 103 mm Hg for those who had girls, in the months leading up to conception.
"When a woman becomes pregnant, the sex of a foetus is determined by whether the father's sperm provides an X or Y chromosome and there is no evidence that this probability varies in humans," added Dr. Retnakaran
"What is believed to vary is the proportion of male or female foetuses that is lost during pregnancy
"This study suggests that either lower blood pressure is indicative of a mother's physiology that is less conducive to survival of a male foetus or that higher blood pressure before pregnancy is less conducive to survival of a female foetus.
"This novel insight may hold implications for both reproductive planning and our understanding of the fundamental mechanisms underlying the sex ratio in humans,” he disclosed.
For the study, 1,411 newly-married Chinese women were recruited, all of whom were trying to become pregnant.
Their blood pressure was checked at around 26 weeks before conception and they were followed through pregnancy. Overall, the women gave birth to 739 boys and 672 girls.
Some Canadian scientists have said that it is possible to determine the sex of a baby months before it is even conceived.
They say that a woman's blood pressure at around 26 weeks before conception could tell if she will have a boy or a girl.
"Higher systolic blood pressure signals she will deliver a boy while lower suggests a girl," says endocrinologist at Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto, Dr. Ravi Retnakaran.
In a study published in the American Journal of Hypertension, the researchers reached the conclusion as they tried to determine what is responsible for the ratio between girls and boys in a population.
In the new study, the mean systolic blood pressure reading for women who had boys was 106 mm Hg, compared to 103 mm Hg for those who had girls, in the months leading up to conception.
"When a woman becomes pregnant, the sex of a foetus is determined by whether the father's sperm provides an X or Y chromosome and there is no evidence that this probability varies in humans," added Dr. Retnakaran
"What is believed to vary is the proportion of male or female foetuses that is lost during pregnancy
"This study suggests that either lower blood pressure is indicative of a mother's physiology that is less conducive to survival of a male foetus or that higher blood pressure before pregnancy is less conducive to survival of a female foetus.
"This novel insight may hold implications for both reproductive planning and our understanding of the fundamental mechanisms underlying the sex ratio in humans,” he disclosed.
For the study, 1,411 newly-married Chinese women were recruited, all of whom were trying to become pregnant.
Their blood pressure was checked at around 26 weeks before conception and they were followed through pregnancy. Overall, the women gave birth to 739 boys and 672 girls.
Twins from different fathers in one womb
Written by Sola Ogundipe
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 15, 2017.
Siblings can have different fathers; can twins born of a woman have two fathers? The straight answer is yes. Twins could be "bipaternal." This phenomenon occurs quite rarely (1 in a billion to be exact), but several pairs of non-identical twins have been born, tested and found to be the products of one womb, one pregnancy, but two fathers.
It is often assumed that for twins, both eggs were fertilized during a single act of intercourse. However it is quite possible for one egg to be fertilized during one act of intercourse, and the other during another if the woman has intercourse with two men within hours.
Normally, women ovulate only one healthy egg per cycle. Fraternal twins are born when women ovulate two healthy eggs and both get fertilised. But it is also possible for two eggs to be ovulated during the same cycle and fertilised at different points within the five-day fertility window resulting in twins. This process is known as "superfecundation". What this means is that each egg can be fertilised by different sperms.
If a woman ovulates two or more eggs and she has sex with more than one man while she's fertile, "heteropaternal superfecundation" can occur, if the eggs get fertilised by sperm from the two different fathers within the same ovulation period.
Medical research shows that when a woman has sex with two men within the same ovulation window, it can result in bi-paternal twins, that come when a woman releases two eggs during ovulation instead of one - and both eggs are then fertilized.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 15, 2017.
Siblings can have different fathers; can twins born of a woman have two fathers? The straight answer is yes. Twins could be "bipaternal." This phenomenon occurs quite rarely (1 in a billion to be exact), but several pairs of non-identical twins have been born, tested and found to be the products of one womb, one pregnancy, but two fathers.It is often assumed that for twins, both eggs were fertilized during a single act of intercourse. However it is quite possible for one egg to be fertilized during one act of intercourse, and the other during another if the woman has intercourse with two men within hours.
Normally, women ovulate only one healthy egg per cycle. Fraternal twins are born when women ovulate two healthy eggs and both get fertilised. But it is also possible for two eggs to be ovulated during the same cycle and fertilised at different points within the five-day fertility window resulting in twins. This process is known as "superfecundation". What this means is that each egg can be fertilised by different sperms.
If a woman ovulates two or more eggs and she has sex with more than one man while she's fertile, "heteropaternal superfecundation" can occur, if the eggs get fertilised by sperm from the two different fathers within the same ovulation period.
Medical research shows that when a woman has sex with two men within the same ovulation window, it can result in bi-paternal twins, that come when a woman releases two eggs during ovulation instead of one - and both eggs are then fertilized.
Husbands who bring out the worst in their wives!
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 8, 2017.
SOME years back, a close friend invited three of her friends to lunch to mark her husband's birthday. Just the five of us, she warned on the phone – a subtle way of telling us not to even think of bringing any hangers-on to her 'exclusive' do. We all three knew Bose and her no- nonsense attitude. Even Oba, her husband tread on egg-shells whenever she was in her foul mood – which was often. Anyway, we were all looking forward to what we imagined would be a delicious spread of local and foreign dishes – Bose, whatever her fault, was a darn good cook.
We were a bit on guard when Oba was the one who welcomed us as we pressed the bell, screaming 'Bose, Bose, your friends are here o!' Bose appeared, dressed in pants and a very sexy blouse, a defiant look on her face. In the mean-time, no aroma of any kind wafted from the kitchen.
"If my friends are here nko?" Bose sneered. "It is your birthday, you entertain them" . The gist of it was there was no celebratory lunch of any kind. Bose glared at her husband, yelling she hadn't done any shopping and she wasn't up to cooking anything – all of us should go and stuff ourselves!
As she flauced out of the living room, her eldest daughter surfaced, looking extremely embarrassed. But Oba quickly took charge. He gave some money to her daughter to make a quick dash to the nearest fast-food spot and get us some assortment of food. Then with Bose still raving and ranting, he served the food his daughter brought back in the formal dining room as if it was the most delicious feast in the world, all the while regaling us with entertaining stories as if nothing was remotely out of the ordinary.
Now, were we surprised by this turn of event? Not in the least. We were all aware of Bose and Oba's volatile marriage. Bose often attacked her husband, subjecting him to a string of battering. Oba often regaled us with tales of how he was scratched, punched and even hit over the head with a bottle, as well as having the windscreen of a favourite vehicle smashed by his excessively jealous wife. The rows were never-ending and spilled into his official duties. On one occasion, he alleged Bose was waiting for him outside his office after he'd just finished a meeting with his key staff. "When I came out," he said, she confronted me about something and when I didn't give her the type of answer she sought, she sank her teeth into my hand."
SOME years back, a close friend invited three of her friends to lunch to mark her husband's birthday. Just the five of us, she warned on the phone – a subtle way of telling us not to even think of bringing any hangers-on to her 'exclusive' do. We all three knew Bose and her no- nonsense attitude. Even Oba, her husband tread on egg-shells whenever she was in her foul mood – which was often. Anyway, we were all looking forward to what we imagined would be a delicious spread of local and foreign dishes – Bose, whatever her fault, was a darn good cook.
We were a bit on guard when Oba was the one who welcomed us as we pressed the bell, screaming 'Bose, Bose, your friends are here o!' Bose appeared, dressed in pants and a very sexy blouse, a defiant look on her face. In the mean-time, no aroma of any kind wafted from the kitchen.
"If my friends are here nko?" Bose sneered. "It is your birthday, you entertain them" . The gist of it was there was no celebratory lunch of any kind. Bose glared at her husband, yelling she hadn't done any shopping and she wasn't up to cooking anything – all of us should go and stuff ourselves!
As she flauced out of the living room, her eldest daughter surfaced, looking extremely embarrassed. But Oba quickly took charge. He gave some money to her daughter to make a quick dash to the nearest fast-food spot and get us some assortment of food. Then with Bose still raving and ranting, he served the food his daughter brought back in the formal dining room as if it was the most delicious feast in the world, all the while regaling us with entertaining stories as if nothing was remotely out of the ordinary.
Now, were we surprised by this turn of event? Not in the least. We were all aware of Bose and Oba's volatile marriage. Bose often attacked her husband, subjecting him to a string of battering. Oba often regaled us with tales of how he was scratched, punched and even hit over the head with a bottle, as well as having the windscreen of a favourite vehicle smashed by his excessively jealous wife. The rows were never-ending and spilled into his official duties. On one occasion, he alleged Bose was waiting for him outside his office after he'd just finished a meeting with his key staff. "When I came out," he said, she confronted me about something and when I didn't give her the type of answer she sought, she sank her teeth into my hand."
Who is a husband?
Written by Lady Helen Noyo Owie
Lady Helen Noyo Owie, LSJI, JP is daughter of Mary USA.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Thursday, October 27, 2016.
I HAVE chosen to speak on the topic "WHO IS A HUSBAND". The scripture tells us in Ephesians 5 vs 28,33 that husbands should love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. A husband is a male in a marital relationship, the rights and obligation of a husband regarding his spouse, others and his status in the community and in-laws vary between cultures and have varied overtime. Husband is the head of a legally married union to a woman, be it in the church, that is holy matrimony, or in the Registry – Court marriage or just the native law and custom.
The man, therefore, should see his wife as a help-mate- Gen. 2 vs 18. And the Lord said it is not good for a man to be alone. God made for man a suitable companion to help him. Gen. 2 vs 21 – man therefore should love his wife just as he loves his body- Malachi 2 vs 14, Gen. 2 vs 24. Husbands should be faithful to their wives. Marriage is an institution ordained by God. Gen. 2 vs 24.
For this reason the man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife and they shall become one. Therefore, husbands should see their wives as help mates, sister and dependable ally, as the bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh- Gen. 2 vs 23-25. Husbands, therefore, should realise that the wife is created by God for him- Gen. 2 vs 21. The husband should therefore be conscious of the fact that his destiny is tied to that of his wife. As a husband you are the head of the home.
You must try to build a good home in the face of the moral and societal ills of our society. And give a good leadership role to your family. You will agree with me that not all husbands are husbands, some are fathers, some big boys, some adults, some men. The real husband the Bible tells us in Gen. 2 vs 24. Ephesian 5 vs 25-28, 33 Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. Let me delve briefly into the role of a father. John 10 vs 11
- a. Father is a shepherd:
Marriage: Marriage is not for Everyone
Topics:
Marriage is not for Everyone
Five steps to save your marriage
__________________________________
Marriage is not for Everyone
Written by Ogaga Otaotu
Marriage is not for Everyone
Five steps to save your marriage
__________________________________
Marriage is not for Everyone
Written by Ogaga Otaotu
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, September 18, 2016.
The Mature Single Woman(MSW) is an unmarried single lady who is of the age 30 and above. Today's Woman spoke to some beautiful ladies during the week and they shared their day to day experiences in the office, public places, at home and at events. Some said they had to deal with all sorts challenges from: neighbors, male colleagues and relatives. The question is "Is it a crime to be a mature single lady?"
Forty-year-old Abike, a banker, said just recently, there arose the issue of attendance in her office. Her male colleague claimed he arrived the office before her but was trying to tidy up some things in the car before she signed in.
An argument ensued and before you could say hey! the young man blurted "Oh ...you think you can talk to me like that? I don't blame you... that is why you can never be married".
As far as Abike is concerned, you get to hear that line regularly as a mature single lady. It can either be told to your face or behind you. She has however learnt to laugh it off.
Nnena, 36year old business woman, recounted a bitter experience she had some months ago. She got to her business place in high spirit and was busy tending to her goods when her neighbor came in to remind her of the outstanding electricity bill.
She had not paid because she was away the previous week. What started as a mild disagreement led to a heated argument and the neighbor dropped the usual line "that's why you are not married, because of your bad attitude". Nnenna wept sore, locked up her store and went home.
Caught red-handed by her mother!
Written by Candida
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, August 14, 2016.
Some few months back, at one of these private A-list parties, Dora was having the time of her life. So were a few of us that shared a table.
We were all social friends and the banter was smutty but harmless, until Greg walked in. An obvious hunk, he was way beyond our reach because of his young age – barely 35. He obviously knew Dora as he stopped for a chat, his after-shave almost fouling the air. You know these seemingly cock-sure men, just before making an entrance at any function, they top up on their aftershave, ignoring the less-is-more doctrine.
As he exchanged banter with Dora, his eyes were firmly fixed on her cleavage. In fairness to the poor bloke, the top Dora had on left very little to the imagination. They exchanged phone numbers. What for; I thought fleetingly? Later Dora let it slip that Greg was the older sibling of her daughter's boyfriend. Safe enough, I thought. But how safe sort of burst into the open some four months later. Greg had apparently found his way into Dora's pants. None of their escapades would have been noticed if Tade, Dora's husband, hadn't chucked her out.
"It's Gloria's fault", she fumed as I let her in when she begged to be put up for the night. "And she's going to pay, mark my word," then she burst into heart wrenching tears. What happened?
"Tade found out about Greg and I from Gloria," she spat.
It took a few seconds for me to figure out who Greg was. "You slept with Greg?"
I asked, appalled.
"I couldn't resist him", she confessed. "He pursued me endlessly, said flattering things to me. You know Fade's libido had been down for a while and it was quite flattering when Greg sent me steamy texts of all the things he would love to do to me if he had half a chance. I texted him back. What started as harmless bantering took a wild turn the day I agreed to see him at his flat. I'd hardly touched my drink when he pounced. He was also muscular – a far cry from Tade's sinewy, middle-aged body. I wanted him – all that young, hard rippled sexiness. And he was well worth the risk of my marriage as we made wild passionate love.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, August 14, 2016.
Some few months back, at one of these private A-list parties, Dora was having the time of her life. So were a few of us that shared a table.
We were all social friends and the banter was smutty but harmless, until Greg walked in. An obvious hunk, he was way beyond our reach because of his young age – barely 35. He obviously knew Dora as he stopped for a chat, his after-shave almost fouling the air. You know these seemingly cock-sure men, just before making an entrance at any function, they top up on their aftershave, ignoring the less-is-more doctrine.
As he exchanged banter with Dora, his eyes were firmly fixed on her cleavage. In fairness to the poor bloke, the top Dora had on left very little to the imagination. They exchanged phone numbers. What for; I thought fleetingly? Later Dora let it slip that Greg was the older sibling of her daughter's boyfriend. Safe enough, I thought. But how safe sort of burst into the open some four months later. Greg had apparently found his way into Dora's pants. None of their escapades would have been noticed if Tade, Dora's husband, hadn't chucked her out.
"It's Gloria's fault", she fumed as I let her in when she begged to be put up for the night. "And she's going to pay, mark my word," then she burst into heart wrenching tears. What happened?
"Tade found out about Greg and I from Gloria," she spat.
It took a few seconds for me to figure out who Greg was. "You slept with Greg?"
I asked, appalled.
"I couldn't resist him", she confessed. "He pursued me endlessly, said flattering things to me. You know Fade's libido had been down for a while and it was quite flattering when Greg sent me steamy texts of all the things he would love to do to me if he had half a chance. I texted him back. What started as harmless bantering took a wild turn the day I agreed to see him at his flat. I'd hardly touched my drink when he pounced. He was also muscular – a far cry from Tade's sinewy, middle-aged body. I wanted him – all that young, hard rippled sexiness. And he was well worth the risk of my marriage as we made wild passionate love.
Strange things Nigerians do in the name of marriage
Written by Eric Dumo
The SUN. Sunday, July 10, 2016.
Sixty-two-year-old Adejoke Olawepo, a petty trader, almost died of shock as screams and claps went all around her. Commuting all the way from Oyingbo to Sango, Ogun State to see her daughter last Tuesday, she couldn't understand why the train she was travelling in suddenly refused to move again after dropping off some passengers at Agege, a densely populated suburb within the Lagos metropolis. The subtle screams and claps from people inside the train who could see outside, aroused her curiosity. Leaning over a seat to peep through the window beside her, the sexagenarian could not believe the sight before her.
 The military-styled lovers |
"I was afraid; I thought the train had crushed somebody," the elderly woman said during a conversation with our correspondent. "But when I peeped through the window, I saw that it was a young man kneeling and making gestures to a lady in front of him as if he was proposing to her. They were right on the rail track, just a few yards away from where the train stopped. I have never seen anything like that in my life," she said.
Lewis Omike and Ebi Boleigha, the pair Olawepo came across, chose the Agege end of the rail line as part of a series of photo sessions to usher in their wedding later this month. Apart from the shot that has since gone viral, the soon-to-be-married lovers also took amazing photographs on the Lekki Bridge and other remarkable sites across Lagos.
Omike and Boleigha share a special moment on the rail track
In a chat with our correspondent earlier in the week, Omike, the groom, said they decided to embark on such unusual act to spice up their love affair and also be in tune with modern trends.
Domestic violence: Why abused men don't talk
Written by Josfyn Uba, Christine Onwuachumba And Bianca Iboma
~The SUN, Nigeria. Thursday, July 7, 2016
There was news about a man whose wife allegedly hacked to death in Ikotun, a suburb of Lagos, for speaking up against her affairs with a younger lover. Mr. Efua Omoghoti, 63, was said to have lost his first wife after 23 years of marriage. She had three boys and a girl for him. He re-married to Maggie, a younger lady. Unfortunately, their union had been saddled with issues of domestic violence and abuse. Residents confirmed that he had been enduring an abusive marriage where he was serially assaulted and emotionally battered by his younger wife until the last quarrel where Maggie hacked him to death in the night. She would insult him publicly at his shop, calling him names and telling him that she only did him a favour by marrying him at an old age. Many times, she had starved him of food and seized his mobile phones, especially when she couldn't get enough money from him. When matters came to a boiling point, the man threatened to divorce her but she vowed not to leave the house. The long arm of the law caught up with Maggie, the embattled mother of two, as the Lagos State Police Command apprehended her.
In another breath, Uwie, a sleepy community in Delta State, once woke up to the shocking news of the death of a 51-year-old lecturer, Mr. Henry Ebenuwa. He was said to have committed suicide because he could not face the public disgrace of his wife's confession to infidelity with his close friends and relatives. The deceased, a father of four, was said to have been subjected to emotional trauma, physical abuse and harassments from his wife, Omiyowa, for the better part of their marriage of a decade and a half years. Fighting and verbal assault were said to have been a trademark of the troubled marriage in their early days. Things got worse when the husband was hit by stroke, which left him incapacitated. From then, he was said to complain about his wife's disloyalty and infidelity. The community was awash with stories of his wife's constant nagging and even starving him of food. When he could not face the shame and humiliation of her public escapades any more, he allegedly ended it all.
These incidents are just some of the many cases of domestic violence that has gradually become regular occurrence in the country. Every week, at least, a domestic abuse case hits the print and electronic media. It is either a husband butchers or chops off his wife's head or wife stabs husband to death, or a 68-year-old man rapes a 12-year-old pupil. It is an endless tale of horrifying news stories and it doesn't seem as if there is an end in sight to some of these bizarre headlines.
~The SUN, Nigeria. Thursday, July 7, 2016
There was news about a man whose wife allegedly hacked to death in Ikotun, a suburb of Lagos, for speaking up against her affairs with a younger lover. Mr. Efua Omoghoti, 63, was said to have lost his first wife after 23 years of marriage. She had three boys and a girl for him. He re-married to Maggie, a younger lady. Unfortunately, their union had been saddled with issues of domestic violence and abuse. Residents confirmed that he had been enduring an abusive marriage where he was serially assaulted and emotionally battered by his younger wife until the last quarrel where Maggie hacked him to death in the night. She would insult him publicly at his shop, calling him names and telling him that she only did him a favour by marrying him at an old age. Many times, she had starved him of food and seized his mobile phones, especially when she couldn't get enough money from him. When matters came to a boiling point, the man threatened to divorce her but she vowed not to leave the house. The long arm of the law caught up with Maggie, the embattled mother of two, as the Lagos State Police Command apprehended her.In another breath, Uwie, a sleepy community in Delta State, once woke up to the shocking news of the death of a 51-year-old lecturer, Mr. Henry Ebenuwa. He was said to have committed suicide because he could not face the public disgrace of his wife's confession to infidelity with his close friends and relatives. The deceased, a father of four, was said to have been subjected to emotional trauma, physical abuse and harassments from his wife, Omiyowa, for the better part of their marriage of a decade and a half years. Fighting and verbal assault were said to have been a trademark of the troubled marriage in their early days. Things got worse when the husband was hit by stroke, which left him incapacitated. From then, he was said to complain about his wife's disloyalty and infidelity. The community was awash with stories of his wife's constant nagging and even starving him of food. When he could not face the shame and humiliation of her public escapades any more, he allegedly ended it all.
These incidents are just some of the many cases of domestic violence that has gradually become regular occurrence in the country. Every week, at least, a domestic abuse case hits the print and electronic media. It is either a husband butchers or chops off his wife's head or wife stabs husband to death, or a 68-year-old man rapes a 12-year-old pupil. It is an endless tale of horrifying news stories and it doesn't seem as if there is an end in sight to some of these bizarre headlines.
A heart touching story by Ugandan mother
My name is Harriet
Namayengo, I’m 40 years old and I come from Lugazi, Uganda.
I’m a married
lady but with no children. I've written
this letter to fans of this page to share with you my pain that I’ve
always lived with. It’s pain of childlessness that was inflicted upon
me by my heartless co-wife. It all happened 12 years ago. I had just
completed my Nursing course and I was working in one of the missionary
hospitals in Uganda.
While still at school, I
fell in love with James, a medical officer in Eastern Uganda. James
was such a nice man that he always visited me at school and showered me
with so many presents. This honestly convinced me that he was
single as he had told me. While in my last year at the Nursing school, I
got pregnant and so James arranged for our wedding, I had already been
assured a job at the hospital, he decided to put me in his house
in Kampala.
The shock of my life
however came shortly after I gave birth to my baby gal. It was then that
James disclosed to me that he was so excited coz I had finally given
him a baby gal since he had 5 sons. I was surprised and when I told him
to repeat what he had said; he apologized and said it was a
mistake. I could see it in his eyes that he was hiding something
from me so I probed him further. This is when he told me that he was
actually married and had a wife with 5 sons. I was disappointed
but confused since I loved James so much.
Infertility and the futility of blame game
Written by ONYINYE ECHENDU
Echendu is a fertility physician with The Bridge Clinic, Lagos.
~The SUN, Nigeria. Monday, June 20, 2016
PRECIOUS and her husband, Michael, have been married for eight years but have no children. Their marital journey, which started on a fairy note while they were in the university culminated in a grandiose wedding ceremony that was well attended by members of both families as well as friends and well-wishers from far and wide. The highpoint of the ceremony was the arrival of Michael's mother from the United States, where she was nursing one of her daughters' newly born baby, to attend the wedding in Lagos.
A few years into the marriage, Michael's sisters started murmuring their concerns over the inability of Precious to have a child. Initially, Precious kept these concerns to herself but after a while, she complained to her husband who reassured her and took it up with his sisters and mother. At the time, Precious mother in-law warned her daughters to let the poor woman be as she was confident Precious would bear many grandchildren for her.
On the eve of their sixth wedding anniversary, Precious was invited by her mother in-law. Unsure of the reasons for the invitation, Precious told her husband of the invitation and they both wondered what the invitation was all about. To her greatest surprise, Michael's mother told Precious that her inability to bear children for her son has got to a stage that the family wants an explanation. She further informed her that their involvement was necessitated by the sheer cowardice of their son, Michael, who could not ask her some critical questions. The woman told her pointedly that they are very fruitful in their family and asked her if barrenness was in their home. Michael's mother asked her how many abortions she carried out before she met her son etc. She was very surprised her husband did not utter a word and cried throughout the meeting.
When they got home that evening, she called her husband to ask why he would let his family humiliate her in that manner, and what made them think their inability to bear children was her fault. Michael got angry and, for the first time in their relationship, slapped her for linking him to her inability to conceive. Ignited by this incident, Precious gathered herself and went to the doctor to ascertain who is to blame for their infertility.
Echendu is a fertility physician with The Bridge Clinic, Lagos.
~The SUN, Nigeria. Monday, June 20, 2016
PRECIOUS and her husband, Michael, have been married for eight years but have no children. Their marital journey, which started on a fairy note while they were in the university culminated in a grandiose wedding ceremony that was well attended by members of both families as well as friends and well-wishers from far and wide. The highpoint of the ceremony was the arrival of Michael's mother from the United States, where she was nursing one of her daughters' newly born baby, to attend the wedding in Lagos.
A few years into the marriage, Michael's sisters started murmuring their concerns over the inability of Precious to have a child. Initially, Precious kept these concerns to herself but after a while, she complained to her husband who reassured her and took it up with his sisters and mother. At the time, Precious mother in-law warned her daughters to let the poor woman be as she was confident Precious would bear many grandchildren for her.
On the eve of their sixth wedding anniversary, Precious was invited by her mother in-law. Unsure of the reasons for the invitation, Precious told her husband of the invitation and they both wondered what the invitation was all about. To her greatest surprise, Michael's mother told Precious that her inability to bear children for her son has got to a stage that the family wants an explanation. She further informed her that their involvement was necessitated by the sheer cowardice of their son, Michael, who could not ask her some critical questions. The woman told her pointedly that they are very fruitful in their family and asked her if barrenness was in their home. Michael's mother asked her how many abortions she carried out before she met her son etc. She was very surprised her husband did not utter a word and cried throughout the meeting.
When they got home that evening, she called her husband to ask why he would let his family humiliate her in that manner, and what made them think their inability to bear children was her fault. Michael got angry and, for the first time in their relationship, slapped her for linking him to her inability to conceive. Ignited by this incident, Precious gathered herself and went to the doctor to ascertain who is to blame for their infertility.
How to know when you are ovulating for easier conception
Written by Bridget Osho
Web: www.cheriemamma.org
Email: babies@cheriemamma.org.
~Vanguard, Nigeria. Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Natural Fertility:
SO today, I am going to be answering one very frequently asked question that people always ask me. It’s when to know you are ovulating by counting the numbers of days. So people asked me questions like 'my period started on the 10th of this month, when am I likely to ovulate?'My answer to that is, I don’t believe in counting the days when you ovulate because even if your cycle is regular, you do not necessarily ovulate on the same day of your cycle.
If you have a 28 days cycle, you might not always ovulate on the 14th or 13th, so that’s not the right way to know if you are ovulating. So many people think they aren’t ovulating because when they count and do the test using the ovulation predictor test kit and the results are negative, so they simply assume that they aren’t ovulating.
Are you ovulating?
The best way to know if or when you are ovulating is to chart your cycle everyday. So by this I mean you get a digital thermometer and you check your temperature first thing in the morning before you get up from bed. What you are trying to find out is your body’s average temperature without any activity, because when you ovulate, you release an egg and your progesterone levels increase.
Your body temperature
Progesterone will always increase your body temperature, so if you have been charting your cycle everyday and making note of the numbers you get, you will find out that there are certain days your temperature will be higher.The first day that your temperature is higher means you have ovulated the previous day. So if you are somebody who have been charting her cycle regularly, you will be able to find the pattern that works for you.
So you might find out that you do ovulate on the 11th or for example ovulate between the 13th and the 15th day of your cycle. Counting the days is not always accurate for most people and it causes a lot of headache and fear and panic that they aren’t ovulating.But once you chart your cycle everyday, you will find the results more accurate.Have you tried charting your temperature before? What was your experience?
Web: www.cheriemamma.org
Email: babies@cheriemamma.org.
~Vanguard, Nigeria. Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Natural Fertility:
SO today, I am going to be answering one very frequently asked question that people always ask me. It’s when to know you are ovulating by counting the numbers of days. So people asked me questions like 'my period started on the 10th of this month, when am I likely to ovulate?'My answer to that is, I don’t believe in counting the days when you ovulate because even if your cycle is regular, you do not necessarily ovulate on the same day of your cycle.
If you have a 28 days cycle, you might not always ovulate on the 14th or 13th, so that’s not the right way to know if you are ovulating. So many people think they aren’t ovulating because when they count and do the test using the ovulation predictor test kit and the results are negative, so they simply assume that they aren’t ovulating.
Are you ovulating?
The best way to know if or when you are ovulating is to chart your cycle everyday. So by this I mean you get a digital thermometer and you check your temperature first thing in the morning before you get up from bed. What you are trying to find out is your body’s average temperature without any activity, because when you ovulate, you release an egg and your progesterone levels increase.
Your body temperature
Progesterone will always increase your body temperature, so if you have been charting your cycle everyday and making note of the numbers you get, you will find out that there are certain days your temperature will be higher.The first day that your temperature is higher means you have ovulated the previous day. So if you are somebody who have been charting her cycle regularly, you will be able to find the pattern that works for you.
So you might find out that you do ovulate on the 11th or for example ovulate between the 13th and the 15th day of your cycle. Counting the days is not always accurate for most people and it causes a lot of headache and fear and panic that they aren’t ovulating.But once you chart your cycle everyday, you will find the results more accurate.Have you tried charting your temperature before? What was your experience?
I made N3,000 hawking water in 20 minutes - White Naija Girl
~PUNCH, Nigeria. Sunday, May 15, 2016
Popularly known as White Naija Girl, Ibukun Afolabi, from Hungary tells ARUKAINO UMUKORO why she decided to hawk sachet water on the streets of Lagos
Can you give a brief background of yourself?
My husband gave me a Nigerian (Yoruba) name, 'Ibukun,' which means 'blessing.' I am originally from Hungary. I live in the United Kingdom at the moment. In 2008, I came to the UK, where I met my husband, Gbenga Afolabi of MagnumN3. I studied Business and Management. I also hold degrees in German and French languages. When I first came to the UK, I could not speak English, so I had to start learning it from the beginning.
In 2012, I decided to start a blog, the whitenaijagirl.com, soon after I got married. Initially, I wanted to write a book, but my husband advised me to start a blog instead so I could reach more people. I started to write about my experiences as a 'Nigerian' wife. Soon, many people - men and women – in relationships with Nigerians started to contact me, asking different questions. The blog became quite successful. Finally, I visited Nigeria in the middle of October last year. I stayed for a month. It was during that period that the video of me selling sachet water was shot.
Was your visit to Nigeria in October your first trip to the country?
Yes it was. But here in the UK, I have had contacts with a lot of Nigerians. The church I attend in the UK is predominantly a Nigerian church. I have always been inspired by Nigerians and their way of living. I love the culture, food and their attitude to life. I also love it that Nigerians take education seriously. My husband is a film-maker and I produce most of his films. When we came to Nigeria; that was when I noticed how hard people in Nigeria are working and how much they needed to struggle on a daily basis to earn a living.
What was the inspiration behind the video of you selling pure water and drinks on the streets of Lagos?
It is because I saw these people doing this every day for a living. And I wondered why they had to live like that in a rich country like Nigeria. That 'pure' water video was done because I wanted to experience what Nigerians are going through, to empathise with them and to go through what they are going through. I realised that it is really hard. And I wanted people to know about this. In the UK, when you have a child, you get child benefits. In Nigeria, there is nothing like that. It is difficult for the women hawking 'pure' water. It is really a difficult job. I wanted to raise awareness about their plight. These people need help from the government. They don't have to risk their lives on the road doing such a job. That was purely my inspiration. It was a great experience, I felt their struggle, because it was hot, you could see me sweating. The load was very heavy. At the beginning, I could not take off the bowl from my head. It was hurting my head even though I had the scarf on. I am planning other projects to raise more awareness about the difficulties every day people face. For me, what I did (selling pure water) was not so extraordinary. What is extraordinary is that people are doing this job daily for a living.
That thing (bowl of sachet, bottled water and drinks) on my head felt so heavy and I only carried it for less than an hour. But those people who do it for a living actually do that for about eight to 10 hours a day. They are the real heroes, not me. I did it for less than an hour because we attracted a little too much attention so we could not carry on. And that was at the time the police were really after people selling on the streets. So, we were a little cautious so as not to get into trouble.
Were you scared at any point?
Popularly known as White Naija Girl, Ibukun Afolabi, from Hungary tells ARUKAINO UMUKORO why she decided to hawk sachet water on the streets of Lagos
Can you give a brief background of yourself?
My husband gave me a Nigerian (Yoruba) name, 'Ibukun,' which means 'blessing.' I am originally from Hungary. I live in the United Kingdom at the moment. In 2008, I came to the UK, where I met my husband, Gbenga Afolabi of MagnumN3. I studied Business and Management. I also hold degrees in German and French languages. When I first came to the UK, I could not speak English, so I had to start learning it from the beginning.
In 2012, I decided to start a blog, the whitenaijagirl.com, soon after I got married. Initially, I wanted to write a book, but my husband advised me to start a blog instead so I could reach more people. I started to write about my experiences as a 'Nigerian' wife. Soon, many people - men and women – in relationships with Nigerians started to contact me, asking different questions. The blog became quite successful. Finally, I visited Nigeria in the middle of October last year. I stayed for a month. It was during that period that the video of me selling sachet water was shot.
Was your visit to Nigeria in October your first trip to the country?
Yes it was. But here in the UK, I have had contacts with a lot of Nigerians. The church I attend in the UK is predominantly a Nigerian church. I have always been inspired by Nigerians and their way of living. I love the culture, food and their attitude to life. I also love it that Nigerians take education seriously. My husband is a film-maker and I produce most of his films. When we came to Nigeria; that was when I noticed how hard people in Nigeria are working and how much they needed to struggle on a daily basis to earn a living.
What was the inspiration behind the video of you selling pure water and drinks on the streets of Lagos?
It is because I saw these people doing this every day for a living. And I wondered why they had to live like that in a rich country like Nigeria. That 'pure' water video was done because I wanted to experience what Nigerians are going through, to empathise with them and to go through what they are going through. I realised that it is really hard. And I wanted people to know about this. In the UK, when you have a child, you get child benefits. In Nigeria, there is nothing like that. It is difficult for the women hawking 'pure' water. It is really a difficult job. I wanted to raise awareness about their plight. These people need help from the government. They don't have to risk their lives on the road doing such a job. That was purely my inspiration. It was a great experience, I felt their struggle, because it was hot, you could see me sweating. The load was very heavy. At the beginning, I could not take off the bowl from my head. It was hurting my head even though I had the scarf on. I am planning other projects to raise more awareness about the difficulties every day people face. For me, what I did (selling pure water) was not so extraordinary. What is extraordinary is that people are doing this job daily for a living.
That thing (bowl of sachet, bottled water and drinks) on my head felt so heavy and I only carried it for less than an hour. But those people who do it for a living actually do that for about eight to 10 hours a day. They are the real heroes, not me. I did it for less than an hour because we attracted a little too much attention so we could not carry on. And that was at the time the police were really after people selling on the streets. So, we were a little cautious so as not to get into trouble.
Were you scared at any point?
Spanking can harm your child's mental health
Written by Bukola Adebayo
~Punch, Nigeria. Friday, May 6, 2016
Agreed that a verse of the Bible says, "Spare the rod and spoil the child". And it will be wrong to disobey instructions from above. However, the Holy Book does not say you should use the rod to harm the child.
Many parents, caregivers and guardians use the rod to harm children in an attempt to 'discipline' them. Such incidents bring up the moral and logical question on the role of the rod in parenting.
Science may have provided some insights and answers to the puzzle. After collecting and evaluating the results of a 50-year-old study, researchers announced the troubling and yet enlightening result of spanking in kids, either for correctional or punitive purposes.
The study, published in this month's Journal of Family Psychology, reveals that the more children are spanked, the more likely they are to defy their parents; experience anti-social behaviour; express aggression, suffer mental health problems and cognitive difficulties.
The scientists evaluated the research which involved over 160,000 children across the globe.
The lead researcher and associate professor of human development and family sciences at the University of Texas at Austin, Elizabeth Gershoff, described the result as the most accurate and evidence-based analysis that has showed the effects of spanking alone in many years.
Gershoff says, "Our analysis found that spanking was associated with unintended detrimental outcomes and was not associated with more immediate or long-term compliance, which are parents' intended outcomes when they discipline their children."
Scholar and co-author Andrew Grogan-Kaylor links spanking with 13 of the17 negative outcomes in children and adults.
"The upshot of the study is that spanking increases the likelihood of a wide variety of undesired outcomes in children. Spanking thus does the opposite of what parents usually want it to do," Grogan-Kaylor says.
~Punch, Nigeria. Friday, May 6, 2016
Agreed that a verse of the Bible says, "Spare the rod and spoil the child". And it will be wrong to disobey instructions from above. However, the Holy Book does not say you should use the rod to harm the child.Many parents, caregivers and guardians use the rod to harm children in an attempt to 'discipline' them. Such incidents bring up the moral and logical question on the role of the rod in parenting.
Science may have provided some insights and answers to the puzzle. After collecting and evaluating the results of a 50-year-old study, researchers announced the troubling and yet enlightening result of spanking in kids, either for correctional or punitive purposes.
The study, published in this month's Journal of Family Psychology, reveals that the more children are spanked, the more likely they are to defy their parents; experience anti-social behaviour; express aggression, suffer mental health problems and cognitive difficulties.
The scientists evaluated the research which involved over 160,000 children across the globe.
The lead researcher and associate professor of human development and family sciences at the University of Texas at Austin, Elizabeth Gershoff, described the result as the most accurate and evidence-based analysis that has showed the effects of spanking alone in many years.
Gershoff says, "Our analysis found that spanking was associated with unintended detrimental outcomes and was not associated with more immediate or long-term compliance, which are parents' intended outcomes when they discipline their children."
Scholar and co-author Andrew Grogan-Kaylor links spanking with 13 of the17 negative outcomes in children and adults.
"The upshot of the study is that spanking increases the likelihood of a wide variety of undesired outcomes in children. Spanking thus does the opposite of what parents usually want it to do," Grogan-Kaylor says.
Getting married even when you are broke
Written by Ugodre Obi-Chukwu
Twitter: @nairamterics or @ugodre.
Website: www.nairametrics.com
~Punch: Thursday, April 7, 2016
Nnamdi has been dating Amaka for about three years now and pressure is mounting on for them to take the relationship to the next level. Nnamdi is approaching his mid-thirties and Amaka is also not getting any younger making time not exactly their friend. Their respective parents are also mounting pressure and do not understand why their children would not just get married soon enough.
Unknown to either parents, Nnamdi and Amaka have a major stumbling block. Apart from being career focused individuals they also believe more importantly that their combined salary is not enough for them to build a home and at the same time pursue their career objectives.
Many of us fall into this trap at some point in our life and if not handled carefully can lead to serious emotional and financial distress. How does one get married without enough money? I will attempt to respond by addressing some of the common excuses we give.
I can't afford wedding "ceremoney" - The thought of preparing for a wedding ceremony is one that scares many off early marriages. Most people consider it a very special event and believe the only way to live a lasting memory is to splurge on it. Having a memorable wedding is important for everyone however, not everyone can afford an expensive and memorable wedding. With proper planning you can have a cheap and memorable wedding as well.
Wedding ceremony shouldn't be seen as a do or die affair as all you have to do is spend what you can afford. What you should realise is that at the end of the day it's about you and your spouse being happily married thereafter and not about the drinks, food and the pageantry that comes with the ceremony. There will be many, many more opportunities to be merry with friends and family.
Where will we live after we get married? -My friend, Victor once told me he got married to his wife when he was still living in a one bedroom flat. After the wedding, they came back home to their one room apartment happier than they could ever imagine. I asked him why and he said the thought of them spending the night together forever was all they wished for and could as well have lived in the car if that's what it will take. The point here is that you need not live in a three bedroom or four bedroom apartment to get married. You could even have just married and still living in your parent's apartment provided you are both focused on the goal.
How far are you willing to go to get your wife pregnant?
Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguardm Nigeria.
Just how desperate are you to have a child? After exploring all avenues available to you medically, are you willing to seek outside help? Like natural insemination? Artificial insemination is when a donor sperm is introduced into the female vagina with the hope that the patient would eventually get pregnant. This method is resorted to when the male partner's sperm counts are too low to father a child – or they are just blanks. All over the world, a lot of women are playing God by sneakily seeking the help of a virile man to help them get the much longed for child. These days however, with infidelity being condoned, some men have come out to support their wives in their quest to get pregnant, to the extent of agreeing to Natural Insemination (NI).
One of such women recently quoted in a foreign press alleged that: "My husband knows what he wants to know. We have conceived through natural insemination and had sex with more than one donor over a few months. There is no doubt that it is emotionally charged and my husband found it difficult. Also, the sex with someone other than my husband is surprisingly enjoyable, sexy and kinky and if we are going to be honest, it's cheating. We accepted all that and it worked for us. I wouldn't have done it any other way. I agreed that my husband is wonderful and I will love him and be grateful to him forever, for giving us this opportunity to have a proper family.
"But natural insemination is how I wanted to make our baby. Bottles, tubes, syringes are just not what I wanted to be involved with when I became pregnant. I don't judge anyone. It is just not what I wanted. We're not swingers. I could never cope with my husband doing what I did, which is what makes him even more wonderful. But our sex life is not the point here. I wanted to get pregnant and I loved doing it. The whole process was fun, sexy and memorable. I am sorry if that makes me a harlot but there are no two ways about it. I did feel more fertile when dressed up, having sex all night and feeling satisfied in the morning.
We don't have any secrets.
"My husband knows what he wants to know and can ask anything. For what it is worth, he took me shopping for the underwear". And if you are curious about how any man involved in such an emotionally volatile arrangement feels, here is a 32-year-old male's view: "Insemination can be perfectly ok in a relationship, if both agree on it. I am a 32-year-old man. My wife is 27 and we have been married for three years. We are happy parents of a little girl who just celebrated her first birthday. My sperm count is very low and we had to use a donor. Natural insemination was the right method for us. We both think artificial insemination is much too clinical.
A better whip to beat your wife
WHEN some men clear their throats, their wives develop symptoms of tuberculosis. Those are men who are neither bullies nor mad dogs. They do not get a kick from kicking their wives around the house. They do not beat their women just to prove they are men. And their women know when to pull the brakes. So, there are men and there are men. Mad men, wife beaters and men who know how to enforce discipline in their homes.
We've heard enough of men who kick their women in the tummy when they are pregnant and those who cause their women to wear D&G 'bones' to cover up dark patches on their faces after slapping sessions. We have also heard enough of women who make their husbands so miserable, the poor men lose it and go berserk. In other words, there are wife beaters, women batterers all over the place and women with vile mouths who don't know when to duck when they see a flying punch. So, there is no point belabouring the violent point. It is bad to be foul-mouthed and worse to be a wife or woman beater. Is there then a middle road? Of course. Only dumb men don't know how to discipline their women without raising a fist. Wife beaters should learn from their women. We, the daughters of Eve do not beat men and yet smart men don't toy with us.
We do not give our men black and blue faces to get them to buy us gold, diamonds, the latest SUV and build us houses. They do all those things nice and easy and we know how to express our gratitude. But men who insist this is a man's world don't know jack about making their women do what they want. All brawns, no strategy. A woman will tell a man to go to hell and the dude is actually going to look forward to the trip. Well, it's absolutely a woman thing. We were designed by God with that particular element. Poor men, what do they know?
Birth control practices
Written by Dr Sylvester Ikhisemojie - The Punch, Nigeria.
 |
| Sylvester Ikhisemojie |
In much of Africa today, there is a burgeoning population made possible by explosive birth rates and the endurance of a majority youthful population. This has many evident positive advantages, not the least of which is the presence of a virile population of people in the productive age group.
The obverse in the problem here is that feeding this large population and finding adequate jobs for the large population will remain a challenge well into the twenty first century. It therefore means that efforts must now be made from this time forwards, in all countries of the region, to slow the rate of population growth to more manageable, more sustainable levels.
As a result, it is incumbent on health authorities throughout the region to teach women of all socio-economic groups about the immense benefits of birth control and child spacing. It is because of all these interwoven facts that issues of contraception and other efforts at birth control must now be examined and propagated.
While birth control and contraception do not necessarily mean the same thing, both of them are geared towards controlling the appearance of unwanted pregnancies. This is because it is possible to engage in birth control without engaging any means of contraception to achieve this aim. Our focus today must therefore centre on birth control. With this clarification, it can be seen that birth control practices will not always involve the use of means, devices and medications to avoid pregnancy occurring but can in fact be achieved naturally by following the natural rhythm of the body itself.
This means that birth control and contraception make up what is known as family planning. As a result, it is important for us to examine some of these methods.
Virus spread by mosquitoes linked to rare birth defect
~TheGuardian, Nigeria.
*Brazil sees sharp rise in babies born with abnormally small heads, researchers find
A mosquito-borne virus may cause babies to be born with abnormally small heads. Zika virus, which first appeared in Brazil in May, causes fever, rash, vomiting, red eyes and, in some cases, death.
According to a report published in ScienceNews, Brazilian health officials believe that a Zika infection during pregnancy harms growing fetuses. Pregnant women hit by the virus may be more likely to give birth to babies with the rare birth defect microcephaly, a congenital condition marked by a small head and abnormal brain development.
Over recent months, Brazilian health officials have noted an unusually high number of babies born with microcephaly. From 2010 to 2014, on average, 156 Brazilian babies were born with the birth defect each year. This year, health officials have already recorded 1,248 suspected cases of microcephaly. On November 28, government health officials reported that Zika virus had been found in tissue from a baby born with microcephaly, a find that links the birth defect to the virus.
Zika virus also has been documented in Africa, Southeast Asia and islands in the Pacific including the Cook Islands, French Polynesia and the Federated States of Micronesia. Because the Aedes mosquitoes that carry the virus live around the world, the virus will probably spread to previously unaffected areas, the United States (U.S.) Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warns.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
