Before you go into a new relationship

Written by: Omotola Oduola - Nigerian Tribune

Did you just quit a relationship? What were your reasons for quitting? Do you think getting into a new relationship is safe enough for you to avoid a rebound because it is said that when your heart is broken you become weak at times, your emotions fail you, thereby making you fall into wrong hands because of your state of mind.

Many people, especially women, often refer to the first several months of a relationship as the honeymoon stage. This is because at the early stages of a relationship, everything seems wonderful and things are just clicking. You get butterflies every time you are with the significant other; you get excited just at the thought of them and you just have an amazing time every moment you are together. But the reality is that despite how easy and great any relationship is, one has to be willing to do things that will allow it to flourish, however easy it is to overlook the importance of having a strategy that will allow you to continually give all towards making a relationship work.

To get into another relationship, you need to ask yourself if you are prepared to trust again, to share your fears with someone you love, as getting into another relationship involves you letting out your imperfect self to someone you think can be trusted with such.

A few things are necessary to get into the dating circle again. Speaking with Relationships, Ighoro Alexander, cleric and consultant on relationship issues, shares a few tips on what to consider before starting a new relationship.

'One of the easiest ways to know a man is his friends'

According to Alexander, "One of the greatest consideration surprisingly and against popular norm is how prepared you are. Sometimes, people go into relationship just thinking of the other person. Without adequate personal preparation emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and mentally, you perhaps are not qualified for any relationship. Beyond that you must consider the value system of the other person. Every man's action has its foundation in values that have been ingrained over the years. Specifically, does he value for spiritual things? By that I mean, does he has the fear of God? Who are his friends?

"One of the easiest ways to know a man is his friends. Principally, you must consider, if he has a well defined and articulated vision for his life. The easiest way to waste your life is to be on the same bus with a man who does not know where he is going. Finally, is he diligent? These, among many, are considerations before going into relationship."

Wish you were somebody else's wife?

YOU take one look at your marriage, shake your head and write-off the whole thing. When a woman is sad and her morale is at an all-time low, self-pity is the first demon that comes calling. It becomes difficult to see anything good in whatever is happening. She can't even remember the good, old times when she felt on top of the world and believed her husband was the best thing that ever happened to her. Those days when she handed down tips on how to make a marriage work so easily... but that was then, she would sigh.

When trouble looms or befalls a marriage or the woman is feeling gloomy, the next practical thing she begins to do is wishing she were somewhere else, somebody else's wife. She wonders how she ended up where she is. Didn't her mother warn her? And she almost didn't marry him o.

Well, a woman has no business envying her friend's marriage. Sounds cute but impracticable, ehn? Not exactly, but it happens all the time.

When things get tough in the home and a marriage seems to be giving way at the seams, the urge to compare your situation unfavourably with another's is quite high. Any wife who wants to be honest with herself will own up, to having fallen into that temptation once or twice.

Such escapist thoughts are the only things that fill her head. It suits her psyche. She adds all unlikely figures together and gets all the odd results. She'd see all the good things in her friend's marriage and not one enviable thing in her own.

If only she knows. If only we all know. Comparing your marriage with another is an unworthy occupation. It is a demeaning venture that does nothing for a woman's sense of self-worth. Why should you think your friend's marriage or husband is better than yours? No two marriages are alike and the recipe that works for one marriage more often than not, won't work for the other. Your friend married one man and you another.

On Facebook, the dead still celebrate birthdays

Written by Jesusegun Alagbe - Nigeria

Akunyili; Agbana

On that Saturday morning, in his Lagos home - before he got up from bed - there were six birthday notifications on his smartphone from Facebook, reminding him to wish his friends happy birthday celebrations. But what baffled him was that one of these friends, who was his course mate at the Ladoke Akintola University of Technology in Ogbomoso, Oyo State, was already dead. This made him wonder, "Why is Facebook asking me to wish a dead person a happy birthday celebration? Is Ade still alive?"

But before long, Peter Abisoye got an answer: Ade - his deceased friend - is not alive, but his Facebook account is still active.

"Every morning, I get birthday notifications of my family and friends from Facebook, so I don't even need to know offhand or look at the calendar for their birthdays again. The internet and social media have really brought me closer to them, even though we are separated by distance," Abisoye said. "But what I don't understand is why the social media company keep sending birthday notifications of dead people? You know, many times when it happens, like it happened to me, it makes me remember some memories of the departed ones - both the good and the bad."

After the brief moment of amazement, Abisoye said he got on the page of his deceased friend and wrote: "Ade, you remain one of the best friends I ever had in school. I remember how we used to eat burnt beans together, woo girls together and watch football matches in Adenike area on weekends. Death is so painful, but your memory is not. Live on, brother."

"I got on his page and I posted a brief birthday message in his memorial. Before I realised what was going on, about 20 of our colleagues in school had also followed suit. I guessed they must have been notified as well of Ade's birthday from Facebook. Well, I think it's good to keep the page alive, in memory and honour of the deceased," he added.

But one or two others who posted didn't even know Ade was dead.

"Someone, please tell me this is not true. I spoke with Ade two months ago and he was fine. No wonder I have been trying to reach him all this while and he's unreachable. So sad to hear, Ade," one of them wrote.

Almost every internet-ready smartphone and Facebook user today gets reminders of special events and this was perhaps the same scenario when many fans of the late female gospel singer and composer, Kefee Obareki Don-Momoh, popularly known as Kefee, woke up on Thursday, February 5, 2015 to find notifications from Facebook that she was celebrating her birthday.

Kefee died of lung failure in a Los Angeles hospital in the United States on Thursday, June 12, 2014, after spending 15 days in a coma. She was aged 34.

But not all her fans would want to believe she's dead. One of them, with the name 'PurpleiciousBabe,' wrote on a blog, bellanaija.com, on July 13, 2014, a month after her death, "Trust me, I am still in denial. I can't even mourn her. It's just not fair. Not our Kefee, so full of life and personality."

21 Things Your Boyfriend Will Never Admit

Culled from The Guardian - Nigeria

Those boyfriends of us are darlings, but no angels. There are a few things that they keep hidden from us. Here are the 21 things your boyfriend will never admit.

1. I will NEVER say you became fat, even it's true

2. And I think some of the clothes you wear aren't nice

3. I often don't know what you're talking about, but I just nod yes

4. And sometimes it's really annoying to hold your hand

5. I will never tell you what I really think about your family

6. I find your best friend / sister / neighbour / ... quite attractive

7. Sometimes I dare to look at pretty women

8. And yes, sometimes I fantasize about someone else

9. I don't say no to sex, even though I didn't really want

10. And no, I really don't want to talk after sex

11. Yes, sometimes I will lie to you about your cooking

12. But I also don't have an idea of what I'm doing

13. Sometimes I like to watch a chick flick

14. But I also want to do something alone

15. Sometimes I text with a girlfriend, without telling it to you

16. And yes, sometimes I tell things about you to them

17. But I hate it when you are too well with a man

18. Sometimes I freak out if you don't immediately respond to my text

19. And yes, I'm afraid you're going to dump me

20. Because: I see you becoming sweeter and sweeter and sweeter and sweeter and sweeter...

WEDDING RING: African Clerics On Its Myth And Significance

'I Prefer To Use The Word Of God To Join Couples Rather Than A Ring'

Clerics

(Pastor (Dr.) Jacob E. Umoru, President, Lagos Atlantic Conference, Seventh-day Adventist Church in Nigeria)
ACTUALLY, from my understanding of God's word, wedding ring is not the true test of love. The foundation of marriage is still in the word of God. So, I prefer to use God's word to join couples rather than a ring. Ring is just outward, but once the word of God is accepted and practised, that will help the marriage to stand rather than ring. Sometimes, we use the ring and sometimes we don't. The reason is that if it is in a country where wearing wedding ring is a law, and you don't follow the rule, you may

be accused of not obeying the law. But ordinarily, we don't use the ring, which is not biblical. Wedding ring does not stop one from infidelity. It doesn't bestow the true sense of faithfulness, which is in the heart. This is why I believe that if people believe God's word and fear Him, ring or no ring, they will still honour God. They will be faithful to their marriage.
I am not going to condemn anybody, as those who practise it do so in accordance with their faith. We have a lot of problems in the world today because we dwell more on the outward. But God looks at the inward and if we accept God's word as well as obey Jesus Christ, we will be more faithful and not focus so much on the outward. Even with their wedding rings on, some people still go ahead to do whatever they like. I think the best thing is to be faithful to God's word and our hearts. Sometimes, people don't want to wear it because of the inconsistency. Some drop their wedding rings because they feel they are being caged. So, personally, I prefer that people hold fast to the word of God, which is the foundation of marriage.
--------------------------------------------
'It Reminds Couples That They Are Committed And Responsible As Well'
(Rev. (Dr.) Kayode Opadeji, Snr Pastor, First Baptist Church, Ikeja, Lagos)

AS you are talking with me right now, I am wearing my own. It is important and is a sign that has no beginning and ending. Here, we tell our members that their love has no beginning and no ending. In other words, it is expected that there shouldn't be any condition attached to it. Once you marry that woman or man, the two of you have to live together till death do you part. So, that understanding is from the Bible, which expects that a couple should live together forever even though some people may opt for divorce. This is not right because the Bible says in Malachi 1:16 that God hates divorce. So, we expect that the love that exists between couples should not give room for outsiders or third party to interfere. Aside this, since rings are made of gold that cannot rust, as it remains the same forever, a marriage should also be like that. Love should not disintegrate or diminish, but should remain the same. I have been wearing my wedding ring close to 19 years now.

Help! My mother is denying me!

Written by Yetunde Arebi - Vanguard, Nigeria.

I have no parents. I mean, I do not know my father or mother. I was not adopted by anyone so, sometimes, I feel like I just dropped from heaven. I always feel lost and alone, even though I am now married and my husband tries to console me and makes me feel wanted all the time.

As I child, it took a while for me to know that I had no father like the other children. I lived with my mother with a few other people in the house. She was a rich business woman and it took a while for me to realise that the other girls who were older than me were not her children.This was because of the frequency with which these people came and left our house. They all came to work for her or learn to trade, so they always left after a while.

A few people called my mother by my name, Mama Nkem, but most of the people, especially family members called her by other names. I learnt that my mother had four other children who were much older than me and lived abroad.They have all returned to Nigeria now.

My mother used to travel very often too. Most times, she went for her businesses and also to see my brothers and sisters. They too used to come home once a while but we were never close. it was as if they resented me for a reason which was not clear to me at the time. I used to think it was because of the wide age difference between us. My mother too never related well with me. It obvious that I was a problem to her and she never liked me. She did not treat me differently from the other people that worked with her. She would rain abuses and curses on everyone and I was not spared. Her favourite abuse for me was eyen anana ete (bastards) and that I will never do well in life and would die in the forest. And she would beat me for every little thing.

I did not like her and sometimes wondered if truly she was my mother. However, over time, I began to discover things that gave me great concern. I would wonder why I had a different name from my other siblings and why they too also have different names. For instance, the first two children bear the same name while the third and fourth have different names.

When you add my own name, it meant that my mother had children by four different men.

This added to my resentment of her person and would always wonder why she would continue to blame me for her own mistakes.However, I eventually discovered that my name was actually my mother’s maiden name. This meant that I did not have a father and it bothered me to no end, especially since she always called me a bastards and treated me like one of her helps. I think it was at this point that I started thinking about my identity and who my father was. But I did not have the courage to ask my mother for fear of what her reaction would be.

ARE THE MEN STILL CLAPPING?

11 people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter. There were 10 men and a woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all. So they decided that one of them had to leave, otherwise they were all going to fall. They were not able to agree on who that person would be. Until the woman among them gave a touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope because as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general. She said she was used to always making sacrifices and getting little or nothing in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping...

All the men, of course, dropped to their untimely deaths and she flew away alone in the chopper. Well, what can a woman do?

That is the power of a woman, the brand only smart men recognize and acknowledge. If there had been at least one of those 10 excitable men who could see beyond that woman's 'moving' speech, he would be alive today. But don't we all know that men don't do much thinking when they see women they want?

In my mind's eyes, I could see the woman in that joke wearing a very short skirt, no bra and a top with a plunging neckline. How do you reason with a man drooling over ample cleavage? If you scream 'Praise the Lord', he won't shout Halleluyah because he is far away in la-la land. The woman in that joke, I'm sure, also had smooth skin, probably fair skin. All 10 men simply threw their thinking caps in the air or how else do you explain why they all forgot that they did not have third hands and that once they started clapping they were going to drop to their deaths?

Virgins at the village evening market - the Nigerian situation!

It is that time and season again. Everywhere is a beehive of activities. We are being tantalized and titillated. They are whispering the sweetest things in our ticklish ears and promising us they will love us forever. Or haven't you heard them? Of course, you have. It's like the evening market in the village. The village damsels are all powdered and smelling nice. Their wrappers are tied in ways that show off their well rounded backsides. They bare their youthful skin, their necks tilted at angles that leave the men panting.

When young men go to evening market, it is not to buy vegetable or local seasoning. It is usually because their libido is running wild. Their blood is hot, their loins burning, seeking to be assuaged by a damsel's you-know-what. Somehow, most of the maidens you see in this market are also not here to buy pepper or dry fish. They have, most times, left home without their mothers' consent, sneaking through the back into the dark. They also want to spread their wings and experiment. The girls enjoy the sweet lines the boys are armed with. Away from the flickering light of the oil lamp, they sneak into darker corners to nurse their desires. Under the cover of the night, far from the real buying and selling, the young men sell their lies. A few young gullible girls drink to their hearts' content the dripping honey-coated lies, moaning until the mourning morning after. A few maiden heads have been reported broken in those couple of hours.

The hot loin cooled , the man goes home grinning like the cat who got the milk. And indeed, didn't he? The virgin sneaks back in, confused, close to tears, wondering if she hadn't sold her honour and future for a few minutes of indescribable ecstasy.

The nature of God, ever seen...

Sent by Gabriel Dzisoo - Ghana

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair
cut and his beard trimmed. As  the barber began
to work, they began to have a good  conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects. 
When they eventually touched on the subject of God,
the  barber said: 'I don't believe that God exists.'   
'Why do you say that?' asked the customer. 
'Well, you just have to go out in the street to
 realize that God doesn't exist.
Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? 
If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain.
I can't imagine a loving God who would
allow all of these things.'
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.
The barber finished his job and the customer
left the  shop.    

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an  untrimmed beard.
He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barbershop again
and he said to the barber:
'You know what? Barbers do not exist.'   
'How can you say that?' asked the surprised barber. 'I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!' 
'No!' the customer exclaimed. 'Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no 
people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.'

'Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when  people do not come to me.'

'Exactly!' affirmed the customer. 'That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help.    
That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world.'

Tiny Frogs

Sent by: Joseph katekpe - Sierra leone

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants...

The race began....

Honestly, no one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as:

'Oh, WAY too difficult!!'

'They will NEVER make it to the top.'

Or:

'Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!'

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one...

Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher...

The crowd continued to yell, 'It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!'

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....

But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....

This one wouldn't give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?

It turned out .... that the winner was DEAF!!!!

The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic.... because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!


Always think of the power words have. (There's life and death in the power of the tongue )


Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!


Therefore: ALWAYS be POSITIVE!

And above all: Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

Always think: God and I can do this!


Most people walk in and out of your life... but FRIENDS leave footprints in your heart.


So:
If you fall down 10 times, stand up 10 times!!

The blind girl who hated herself...

By   Jacqueline Ofori-Akua​moah/Ernest Osei-Bonsu - Ghana

A STORY TO LIVE BY

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.

She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always
there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see
the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages
came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'

The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind.

The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her.

She hadn't expected that.

The thought of looking at them the rest of her life
led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her
saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before
they were yours, they were mine.'

Note:

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. 
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who
was always by their side in the most painful situations.

LIFE IS A GIFT

Today before you say an unkind word

Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food

Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife

Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life

Think of someone who died too early.

Before you complain about your children

Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep

Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive

Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job

Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another

Remember that not one of us is without sin.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down

Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around. 

"Keep your Fork"

- Afrisonet

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her Priest and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in

Everything was in order and the Priest was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.
"There's one more thing," she said excitedly.
"What's that?" came the Priest's reply..
"This is very important," the young woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."
The Priest stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.
That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked.
"Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the Priest
The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!'

So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder "What's with the fork?" Then I want you to tell them: "Keep your fork ..the best is yet to come."
The Priest's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.

At the funeral, people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Priest heard the question, "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled.

During his message, the Priest told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.

He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come.

The lover who refused to be used and dumped

By Candida
(Diary of a Divorced City Girl)

‘MOST times, lying with my husband watching him sleep on his back, beer belly rising and falling with each snore, he doesn’t look appetizing in the least -especially with his treble chin and bald head. I am starting to find him repulsive…” Melisa looked so forlorn as she told me about the state of her marriage that I had to laugh. She wasn’t amused.
I reminded her they’d just married 12 years and it was a bit early for her to start being resentful, especially when she has two adorable kids and a well heeled husband who gave her and the children virtually everything they wanted. “But what about meaningful sex, aunty C? Seun was fit and energetic when we got married with a body to die for.
Now he’s flabby and unattractive. His weight had more than doubled the only thing that hasn’t changed is his personality. He’s still kind and loving with a good sense of humor. Trouble is, I just don’t fancy him any more. I want rippling muscles – not rippling fat!”

I warned her to be extremely careful. After escaping the seven year-hitch, maybe,12 years is when her marriage should have started showing signs of being in a rut – she should strive for both of them to get out of it. “I don’t know about Seun,” she said simply, “but I’m trying my best to do just that. As a matter of fact, I’ve just met someone at work.
He is a technician we briefly used. Though he is single, he knows he’s nothing but a bit-on-the-side. And he’s so sexy. Instead of the usual boxers, he wears clinging lycra cycling shorts which makes him look deeply sexy. It is easy to get away to meet him as Seun works really late, now he’s been promoted to management level. Don’t get me wrong, I love Seun, but sex with Ephraim is like an icing on a cake.
I told her she was treading on dangerous grounds but she just laughed in my face. Months later, she came running back to me, “it is Seun” she said, a bit frightened, “it is as if he suspects I’m having an affair. Last night, he came outright to ask why we never seem to make love any more.
That I could get away quickly enough whenever he touched me. I told him not to be silly, that I love him, which I do, but I was always a bit tired. ‘Is it because I’ve put on a lot of weight,’ he asked me, ‘don’t worry about that. My new post means I could join any club I want and I have joined one with an impressive gym. You could come along too if you like, so we could get healthy together.’

“I assured him I would help him lose weight. But there’s another weight I have to lose – and that’s Ephraim. He is cute, but Seun is the man I love. I’m seeing him tonight. He’s had enough fun and it is time to let go….’” Well, it wasn’t as easy as she thought.

When we met some days later, she told me “That Ephraim is a lunatic. As soon as we settled down to our favorite meal at the restaurant where we usually went first before sex, I told him I wanted to call it a day, that my husband could be dangerous now he was suspicious. I thought he’d be fine – after all we both knew all we could have was fun no-strings sex. But his face hanged.
‘You can’t just dump me like that’, he fumed. ‘I really love you’, ‘I was shocked, ‘look’, I told him gently, ‘you’re a lovely man, but I want to concentrate on my marriage’. I was really put off by his sudden declaration of love. Our arrangement had nothing to do with that. “He glared angrily at me, ‘Oh really?’ he spat. ‘You should have thought of that before.’ With that he stormed out of the door.
I felt sick and shaken. But at least it was done and over with Thank goodness I hadn’t given him my mobile number. So, I kept that turned off when I was at home. Better to be safe than be sorry!
“As soon as I switched it on the next day, there were pleading text messages from him and more kept on pinging I erased them all. He had to understand we were now history. And as Seun’s flab began to melt, his treble chin slimmered down and his beer belly shrunk…
I found myself thinking about Ephraim less and less. Then last Saturday when I was vacuuming, there was a knock on the door. I was irritated thinking Seun had forgotten his key again. He’d nipped out to the gym to meet a few friends.
Only pulling open the door, I found Ephraim glaring at me. `So I’ve finally tracked you down’ he snarled. “Why have you been ignoring my text messages?” I couldn’t believe my eyes and ears. Was he mad? “You have to go”, I yelled at him, terrified Seun would arrive any minute, `I’ve told you over’.
“I tried to shut the door in his face, but he went berserk. Booting the front door open, he pushed his way into the flat.’ I love you Melisa’, he wined, ‘and I’m not leaving your house until you admit you love me too’ His eyes were bulging. He looked really demented. If I didn’t get him out of the flat soon, Seun would come back and find out about everything.

‘Ok, ok, 1 love you too, now go!” How could I have found this simpleton sexy? I fumed silently.

“He calmed down and eventually left, but not before issuing an ultimatum. ‘Start seeing me again’ he threatened, ‘or I’ll tell your husband everything’, I told him to get lost! Since then, I haven’t seen him, not even at work since he knows where my office is.
But every time the door bell rings, I’m edgy, terrified it’s him, Seun is now looking great and our marriage is the best it’s been for a long time, I just pray Ephraim doesn’t come back and ruin it all. Why are some men so childish?

A single girl that goes out with a married man doesn’t believe it would be a happy-ever-after relationship. So, why can’t a married woman do the same with the hope that the man would be grateful for a few free bunks?” Shows you how naive some people are.
I reminded her that she must know of a few men whose bits-on-the- sides have turned to second wives they never really bargained for.
And if a young married woman is having an affair, she’s sending the signal her marriage is not happy and what gullible lover wouldn’t think he might just be better than her husband – enough to take her away from him!

40 tips for a better life

Sent by Hiyab Tsegay - Eritrea

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in last year.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. GOD heals everything.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
30. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
31. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
32. The best is yet to come.
33. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
34. Do the right thing!
35. Call your family often.
36. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
37. Each day give something good to others.
38. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
39. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
40. Please tell everyone you care about this 40 tips for a better life .

Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams!

A Child's Prayer

"Please send  clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer......

Amen" !!! 

The unemployed graduate

Sent by: Matilda Williams - S'Leone

An unemployed graduate woke up one morning and checked his pocket. All he had left was $10. He decided to use it to buy food and then wait for death as he was too proud to go begging. He was frustrated as he could find no job, and nobody was ready to help him.

He bought food and as he sat down to eat, an old man and two little children came along and asked him to help them with food as they had not eaten for almost a week. He looked at them. They were so lean that
he could see their bones coming out. Their eyes had gone into the socket.

With the last bit of compassion he had, he gave them the food. The old man and children prayed that God would bless and prosper him and then gave him a very old coin. The young graduate said to them "you need the prayer more than I do".

With no money, no job, no food, the young graduate went under the bridge to rest and wait for death. As he was about to sleep, he saw an old newspaper on the ground. He picked it up, and suddenly he saw an
advertisement for people with old coins to come to a certain address.

He decided to go there with the old coin the old man gave him. On getting to the place, he gave the proprietor the coin. The proprietor screamed, brought out a big book and showed the young graduate a
photograph. This same old coin was worth 3 million dollars. The young graduate was overjoyed as the proprietor gave him a bank draft for 3million dollars within an hour. He collected the Bank Draft and went
in search of the old man and little children.

By the time he got to where he left them eating, they had gone. He asked the owner of the canteen if he knew them. He said no but they left a note for you. He quickly opened the note thinking it would lead him to find them.
This is what the note said: "You gave us your all and we have rewarded you back with the coin" Signed God the Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost.

What do you know about men

Authur unknown

Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaners. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.

Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in cold weather, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.

Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.

Men forget everything; women remember everything.

That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

When your woman is cheating

By Ebele Peters - Nigeria

The late nights at the office and the fact that she switches off her cell phone may get your suspicions aroused, but how can you really be sure that your woman is cheating on you?

I must first point out though, that when a woman cheats, what usually drives her into looking at another man is usually miles away from what compels a man to cheat. For most men, the desire to cheat mostly stems from their desire to spread their wild oats and an innate inability for a lot of them to be monogamous. For women, on the other hand, most of them cheat when their needs in the relationship are unmet.
This is not an excuse for women to cheat, but when a woman is unhappy in her relationship, the man better watch out, because women are just as inclined to have affairs when they feel disconnected from their relationships. Another major reason women cheat, stems from the desire for material wealth which their partners may not be in a position to provide.
To help out today, we shall look at some of the signs to look out for if you have had, even the slightest suspicion that your woman is not being faithful.

There was a time she would blow hot and cold just because you were spending too much time with your friends, work or anywhere else but with her. Then suddenly, she doesn’t mind any longer. You can now spend as much free time apart, she assures you. If that’s happening it’s time to be introspective. Now don’t misinterpret this to mean that she’s certainly cheating, but you really should take note when issues that used to bother her in the past become inconsequential. It just might be that another man has taken her fancy, or she’s ready to move on. Then again, it may be necessary to add that things that used to bother her in the past may become less important as she gets older and has more responsibilities to deal with such as children and a hectic work schedule.

There was a time she wanted you to take her out even if it were to just sit down on a bench in an open field and talk about nothing. Then she doesn’t even bother and gone are the days when she used to ask, “Are you not taking me out today?” You had better take measures to retrace your steps if you’re still interested in the relationship because it just maybe she is on her way out.

When the nagging suddenly stops!There was a time she wanted to talk to you and be heard. If suddenly she doesn’t raise an eyebrow at the slightest thing, chances are that some other man is putting in time to listen to her. Women need that emotional connection that sharing brings and this develops into the emotional attachment before sexual attachment develops. If your girlfriend has stopped telling you details of her day at work, or sharing her feelings with you, then there must be a problem somewhere.

She suddenly becomes the most indispensable person at her place of work, and starts working long hours into the night. She now comes home late and leaves earlier that she used to in the morning, thereby keeping communication and physical intimacy to the barest minimum. Well this may be a tell tale sign for you to try to figure out if indeed all this time is being spent at work.

When she keeps her phone in silent mode for long hours or switches it off completely once she’s home. Even when she does take calls, her conversation is not free flowing, she avoids calling out the caller’s name and answers mostly in monosyllables, it is very likely that she’s taking to someone she’d rather you never found out.

When she suddenly starts coming home with expensive gifts or pieces of jewelry you know for certain you did not get her or she can ill afford, there’s a major likelihood that she’s being looked after by another man with the means.

You had told her from the outset of the relationship that you love her for who she is, and assured her that whether she was fat or slim, tall or short did not matter. When the relationship was good, she never worried about her being too fat or too slim, but suddenly, it becomes an issue and even an obsession. Maybe someone somewhere has asked her to lose some weight or put on a bit more. That someone most likely, is a man outside.

If you once had a healthy sex life and lots of intimacy, then she suddenly starts avoiding your advances, she’s probably doing so because this is one area woman are particularly bad at multitasking. Once a woman is emotionally involved with another man, it is very unlikely that she’ll find you attractive. Sometimes your attempts to touch her will make her cringe inwardly and she’ll do everything in her power to avoid intimacy.
Finding out if your partner is unfaithful or not starts from the time you accept that there is a possibility they are cheating. First you have to determine the status of your relationship. If you have given your all, been faithful and loyal, then there should be no grounds for your partner to cheat. But if you have not, chances are that they will cheat.

Then again, if you’ve given your best emotionally and you notice that the relationship is based on monetary and material gains which you are unwilling to provide or don’t have the wherewithal to do so, chances are that a woman who is impossible to satisfy will look elsewhere. If you are in this sort of relationship, it will best for you to move on because you’ll only end up with a broken heart and delusional that all women are like that.

There are ups and downs in every relationship, so it’s necessary that you bear in mind that one of these signs by itself does not always signify that your partner is cheating. If you notice just one or two of the signs, then there is still a possibility that you can remedy the relationship. But my dear when you see multiple signs, then you have to see the red light flashing because if even she hasn’t started cheating, there’s a major likelihood that she’s on the prowl for another man. So try to take the steps necessary to protect one of your most important assets - your sanity and well being.

A Farmer's Donkey

Sent by Moudyzvakabvira KAHOBA - Zimbabwe

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.

The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.
They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.
He was astonished at what he saw.
With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal,
he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.

The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.

Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.

We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!

Shake it off and take a step up.
_______________________________

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from God.