Making long distance relationships work

By kemi Lawal - Nigeria

Long distance relationships can be challenging and often difficult.

The long-distance romance is a modern phenomenon. One hundred years ago, the farthest a woman might look for a suitor was the next farm over. With the advent of the automobile, one might find the man of her dreams in the next city or even the next county. But today, with the availability of airplane travel and relationships springing up via internet dating services and through e-mail correspondence, long distance relationships have become much more commonplace. It is not at all unusual today for a couple to carry on a thriving romantic relationship though hundreds or even thousands of miles apart.

Long distance relationships do, however, have unique difficulties. The success of a long-distance relationship might depend greatly on whether the two people who make up the couple adopt the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" or the "out of sight, out of mind" philosophy. If you believe the former, chances are you have what it takes to make a long distance relationship work.

Here are some tips to increase your chances of keeping those home fires burning while the two of you are apart.

If you want your long-distance relationship to work, it is important that both of you agree on the level of commitment you expect from the relationship. If one of you sees the relationship as serious, committed and monogamous, while the other sees it is as a fun and flirty fling, then there will be problems down the road. It is important to make sure you are both on the same page and expect the same things from the relationship. Before throwing your heart and soul into a long-distance relationship, sit down with your partner and communicate openly and honestly about how each of you views the relationship, where you see it going and what you expect from each other. Agree on the ground rules. Making sure you are in agreement from the outset as to where your relationship is headed sets a firm foundation for the future and helps to avoid disappointment down the road.

Communication is a key in any relationship, but in a long-distance relationship, regular communication is crucial. You must set aside regular time to talk to each other on the telephone. Take advantage of lower evening and weekend telephone rates. Make sure your cell phone plan offers free long distance and sufficient free weekend and off-peak minutes. Burning up the long-distance telephone lines is one sure way to keep the passion alive when the two of you are apart. But today's technology offers lots of other ways to communicate with your romantic partner. Flirt via e-mail. Enjoy an occasional night of passionate instant-messaging on the computer. Send each other cute, romantic (and often free) e-card. And don't forget the more traditional ways of communicating with a sweetheart who is far away. Revive the long lost art of letter writing and send your significant other a passionate love letter now and then. Pop a card in the mail on special occasions or for no reason at all. When you are not often able to communicate your feelings through touch, other forms of communication become even more important. The long-distance relationship is the place to let your imagination run wild and come up with creative ways of keeping the lines of communication open between the two of you.

Honesty is vital to every relationship. In a long-distance relationship, however, honesty has to be taken a step further. The longevity of a long-distance relationship depends a great deal on your ability to communicate honestly with each other about what you are feeling and to resolve issues that, if left to fester, might destroy your relationship. Do you always feel as if you are competing with the sports channel when you call your partner? Does your sweetheart seem to give her relationships with her girlfriends' higher priority? If you want your romance to last, then you cannot ignore these feelings and allow resentment to take root in your relationship. Be honest with your partner about how you are feeling so that these issues can be addressed.

Willingness to compromise is an important element of a successful long-distance romance. In a long-distance relationship, time together, whether on the telephone or in person, is a cherished commodity. Take turns visiting each other to lighten the burden financially on each of you. Be willing to turn off the television and miss the first quarter of the basketball game when your lover calls and truly needs your time and attention. On the other hand, give your lover space, too, and be willing to reschedule a telephone call if your lover is watching a game with friends and what you want to talk to him or her about can wait. 

Pencils.

Sent by Hiyab H. Tsegay - Eritrea

A PENCIL MAKER TOLD THE PENCIL 5 IMPORTANT LESSONS JUST BEFORE PUTTING IT IN THE BOX :

1.) EVERYTHING YOU DO WILL ALWAYS LEAVE A MARK

2.) YOU CAN ALWAYS CORRECT THE MISTAKES YOU MAKE.

3.) WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS WHAT IS INSIDE OF YOU.

4.) IN LIFE, YOU WILL UNDERGO PAINFUL SHARPENINGS,

   WHICH WILL ONLY MAKE YOU BETTER.
5.) TO BE THE BEST PENCIL, YOU MUST ALLOW YOURSELF

   TO BE HELD AND GUIDED BY THE HAND THAT HOLDS YOU.

Pencil Art:



We all need to be constantly sharpened. This parable may encourage you to know that you are a special person, with unique God-given talents and abilities.  Only you can fulfill the purpose which you were born to accomplish. Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and cannot be changed and, like the pencil, always remember that the most important part of who you are, is what's inside of you.

She’s all I want as wife but her beauty…

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com,Tel: 08054500626

Troubled Mic writes Agatha:
Dear Agatha,
I’m a guy of 21 years and there’s this girl, 22, I know she likes me so much and has never shied away from letting me know about this.
Although she has everything I would like in a wife but she is not very beautiful. My desire is to marry a woman who is beautiful. I fear I may break her heart on account of this flaw in her. I am anxious because I have this principle that a man should date only the woman he can marry. What do you think?
Troubled Mic. 

Agatha admonishes:
Dear Troubled Mic,
At 21, you still have a lot of growing up to do in terms of emotional maturity to appreciate life the more. You are yet to get to that point in life when you would need to consider more than the look of a woman to make the right choice.
As you gather experiences in matters of the heart, you will discover that it takes more than the physical appearance of a person to give happiness. The essence of a human being isn’t in how the person looks but in how the person behaves.
Yes, it is advisable and the best policy not to date anyone you cannot get married to, this can only achieve the right results if you scale down on the physical beauty of the person.
Relationship and marriage unlike beauty pageants isn’t fueled by the physical advantages rather it is framed around who that person is. Who a person goes a long way in defining how much happiness, peace and support that person is capable of giving to another person.
A person could have a very pleasant look on the outside but a real terror at home. As a young man just starting out, it is important you learn to place your priorities to avoid the mistake a lot of men before you made and they are biting their fingers for it today.
What should concern you now is how to be this lady’s friend; create an opportunity to know if you both have what it takes to move on. It is also necessary to sound a note of warning here that you get your visions right.
In doing this, you must have a fair idea of where you are headed in the next 10 years from now. This would help you factor in the kind of woman you need to support your dream to reality; point you at the quality of the kind of temperament your woman must have at all times as well as the kind of strength she must have especially if you won’t always be around in the early years. If your vision is to build a successful business, you will need a woman who can function on her own without worrying you about little things such as electricity or minor medical bills. You will need a woman who can manage what she has without nagging you for more. Every man needs a woman who is patient to support his dream to maturity as well as who has the magic to transform a house to a home.
These are not achieved by looks but by dedication to her man and appreciation of her position as the woman in his life. The realization that she is in his life to help him fulfill his mission on earth is what a man needs to help him move to the next level.
Every man needs the motivation provided by the support of his wife to make the difference in life. A woman who is only interested in her looks and not the character of her home will at the end of the day be a huge disappointment not only to her husband but her children too. Men may be the head of the home but the woman is the pillar that holds everything together. She therefore has to be strong to do this job successfully.
This is where the inner beauty comes into play. This is what gives the physical look its character, its skeleton of support. Every beautiful facade must have the right kind of inner support to remain indelible.
Your girlfriend may not be as beautiful as you want your woman to be but that doesn’t mean she isn’t a beautiful person within her. You can only get to know how beautiful she really is if you get close to her.
Have an open mind about her. That you are friends with her doesn’t mean you are walking down the aisle immediately. Sail the boat of friendship; this isn’t complicating at all. Take each day as it comes, don’t make promises you may find difficult to keep until you are sure of the person behind the mask.
A little step at a time helps stabilize so many things.

Learn A LESSON !!

Sent by Veronica Koroma - Sierra Leone
Favourite quote: "Though the mountain top is glorious, but it is in the valley I will grow"
E-mail: nicakad@yahoo.co.uk
----------------------------------------
Lesson 1:A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

---------------------------------------
Lesson 2:A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
--------------------
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'Iwant to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
--------------------
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
--------------------
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
--------------------

Lesson 6A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
-------------------------------------------
Lesson 7

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,
but she belonged to someone else...

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, "I'll give you a R100 if you let me
have sex with you. But the girl said NO.

Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on
the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the
time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for R200, pick up the
money very fast, he won't even be able to get his
pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.


Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.

She responded, "The bastard used coins!"

Management lesson:Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

Tequila and Salt

Sent by Benjamin Kenechukwu, Mogor - Nigeria

This I think should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day.
You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2.. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received... Forget about the rude remarks.

So!

Always remember....
when life hands you Lemons,
ask for Tequila and Salt and call me over!

Good friends are like stars…

You don't always see them, But you know they are always there.
"Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway"
I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm here than a whole truck load when I'm gone.

Happiness keeps You Sweet,

Trials keep You Strong,

Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keeps You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only God keeps You Going

Truer Words Were Never Spoken

- Words from Colin Powell

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.

Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.

An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.

As you grow, your associates will change.

Some of your friends will not want you to go on.

They will want you to stay where they are.

Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl.

Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream.

Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you. 

Consider this:

Never receive counsel from unproductive people.

Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how.

Not everyone has a right to speak into your life.

You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person.

Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere. 

With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it. 

Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. 

Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. 

If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights. 

"A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses." 

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate - for the good and the bad. 

Note: Be not mistaken. 

This is applicable to family as well as friends. 

Yes...do love, appreciate and be thankful for your family, for they will always be your family no matter what. 

Just know that they are human first and though they are family to you, they may be a friend to someone else and will fit somewhere in the criteria above. 

"In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us. 

In Adversity We Know Our Friends." 

"Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them."

"If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude."...

Colin Powell

The Holy Alphabet.... .This is Beautiful

Although things are not perfect

Because of trial or pain

Continue in thanksgiving

Do not begin to blame

Even when the times are hard

Fierce winds are bound to blow

God is forever able

Hold on to what you know

Imagine life without His love

Joy would cease to be

Keep thanking Him for all the things

Love imparts to thee

Move out of " Camp Complaining "

No weapon that is known

On earth can yield the power

Praise can do alone

Quit looking at the future

Redeem the time at hand

Start every day with worship

To "thank" is a command

Until we see Him coming

Victorious in the sky

We'll run the race with gratitude

Xalting God most high

Yes, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, But....

Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor.  

The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything.

Love and peace be with you forever...

The Parable of Brother Leo

A legend tells of a French monastery known throughout Europe for the extraordinary leadership of a man known only as Brother Leo. Several monks began a pilgrimage to visit Brother Leo to learn from him. Almost immediately, they began to bicker about who should do various chores.

On the third day they met another monk going to the monastery, and he joined them. This monk never complained or shirked a duty, and whenever the others would fight over a chore, he would gracefully volunteer and do it himself. By the last day, the others were following his example, and from then on they worked together smoothly.

When they reached the monastery and asked to see Brother Leo, the man who greeted them laughed. "But our brother is among you!" And he pointed to the fellow who had joined them.

Today, many people seek leadership positions, not so much for what they can do for others but for what the position can do for them: status, connections, perks, advantages. They do service as an investment, a way to build an impressive resume.

The parable about Brother Leo teaches another model of leadership, where leaders are preoccupied with serving rather than being followed, with giving rather than getting, with doing rather than demanding. Leadership based on example, not command. This is called servant leadership.

Can you imagine how much better things would be if more politicians, educators, and business executives saw themselves as servant leaders?

Michael Josephson
www.charactercounts.org