Let's adopt 'fam' for 'he or she'

Written by Azuka Onwuka - Nigeria

-Twitter @BrandAzuka

Azuka Onwuka 

One of the most awkward realities in the English language is the absence of a pronoun that can conveniently and precisely represent the expression "he or she" or its derivatives like "him or her," "himself and herself," etc.

In the old order when the world was unapologetically male-centric or chauvinistic, "he" was used to represent the unknown or unstated gender: "He who humbles himself will be exalted; he who exalts himself will be humbled."

In a bid not to be accused of continued linguistic discrimination against women, the plural pronoun "they" was adopted to represent "he or she" - that is, when the sex of the person in question is not stated or known. Let us take an example from the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary (7th edition). This is how the world-famous and well-respected dictionary defines the word "headstrong": "A headstrong person is determined to do things their own way and refuses to listen to advice" (emphasis mine). How can "is" (singular) and "their" (plural) and "refuses" (singular) all be used for the same subject in one sentence? This breaks the rudimentary rule of grammar.

Let's look at other similar examples in today's English where "they" is used to represent the singular unstated gender: 1. "It's so good when you love someone and they love you back." Someone would ask: Are you in love with one person or a crowd? 2. "Whom the cap fits, let them wear it." The question arises: Are you referring to one person or many people wearing one cap? Can more than one person wear a cap at the same time? 3. "Everyone should do what they think is right." Question: Is "every" not referring to one anymore? 4. "Each person should take care of their expenses." Someone would ask: When did "each" become a plural word?

There are language conservatives and purists across the globe - I am one of them - who feel shocked or uncomfortable when a noun is treated both as a singular word and a plural word in one sentence. Despite the incontestable authority and unimpeachable pedigree of the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary, I will NEVER use a similar statement in any speech or essay. If I did, I would feel that I had committed cold-blooded linguistic murder.

The repercussion of using "they" in place of "he or she" is that we have replaced one problem with a bigger problem. How can I explain to my little boy that "they" is a plural pronoun today and a singular pronoun tomorrow? If my son were to say then, "Daddy, they has come to see you," would I tell him, "That's wrong English, my son"?

On Facebook, the dead still celebrate birthdays

Written by Jesusegun Alagbe - Nigeria

Akunyili; Agbana

On that Saturday morning, in his Lagos home - before he got up from bed - there were six birthday notifications on his smartphone from Facebook, reminding him to wish his friends happy birthday celebrations. But what baffled him was that one of these friends, who was his course mate at the Ladoke Akintola University of Technology in Ogbomoso, Oyo State, was already dead. This made him wonder, "Why is Facebook asking me to wish a dead person a happy birthday celebration? Is Ade still alive?"

But before long, Peter Abisoye got an answer: Ade - his deceased friend - is not alive, but his Facebook account is still active.

"Every morning, I get birthday notifications of my family and friends from Facebook, so I don't even need to know offhand or look at the calendar for their birthdays again. The internet and social media have really brought me closer to them, even though we are separated by distance," Abisoye said. "But what I don't understand is why the social media company keep sending birthday notifications of dead people? You know, many times when it happens, like it happened to me, it makes me remember some memories of the departed ones - both the good and the bad."

After the brief moment of amazement, Abisoye said he got on the page of his deceased friend and wrote: "Ade, you remain one of the best friends I ever had in school. I remember how we used to eat burnt beans together, woo girls together and watch football matches in Adenike area on weekends. Death is so painful, but your memory is not. Live on, brother."

"I got on his page and I posted a brief birthday message in his memorial. Before I realised what was going on, about 20 of our colleagues in school had also followed suit. I guessed they must have been notified as well of Ade's birthday from Facebook. Well, I think it's good to keep the page alive, in memory and honour of the deceased," he added.

But one or two others who posted didn't even know Ade was dead.

"Someone, please tell me this is not true. I spoke with Ade two months ago and he was fine. No wonder I have been trying to reach him all this while and he's unreachable. So sad to hear, Ade," one of them wrote.

Almost every internet-ready smartphone and Facebook user today gets reminders of special events and this was perhaps the same scenario when many fans of the late female gospel singer and composer, Kefee Obareki Don-Momoh, popularly known as Kefee, woke up on Thursday, February 5, 2015 to find notifications from Facebook that she was celebrating her birthday.

Kefee died of lung failure in a Los Angeles hospital in the United States on Thursday, June 12, 2014, after spending 15 days in a coma. She was aged 34.

But not all her fans would want to believe she's dead. One of them, with the name 'PurpleiciousBabe,' wrote on a blog, bellanaija.com, on July 13, 2014, a month after her death, "Trust me, I am still in denial. I can't even mourn her. It's just not fair. Not our Kefee, so full of life and personality."

The renaissance of Nigerian music

Written by Jide Ojo - Nigeria

Follow Jide Ojo on twitter @jideojong

"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain" -Bob Marley

I love good music. If there is one thing I am addicted to, it is soulful, joyful noises. I listen to all genres of music from the traditional to the contemporary. I have a stockpile of downloaded music on my phones and personal computers. I have also invested a small fortune buying musical cassettes and compact discs. They range from indigenous juju, fuji, apala, Afro-beat, highlife, and sakara to the contemporary hip-hop, pop, jazz, and rap. I am also in love with country music and gospel. As rightly observed by Taylor Swift, "People haven't always been there for me but music always has." What do I love in music? I love the inspiration, the idioms, the creativity, the originality and the relaxation that good music offers.

Among my Nigerian music icons are Sir Victor Abimbola Olaiya, I.K. Dairo, Adeolu Akinsanya (Baba Eto), Tunji Oyelana, Chief Commander Ebenezer Obey, King Sunny Ade, Lijadu Sisters, Sir Victor Uwaifo, Sikiru Ayinde Barrister, Chief Stephen Osita Osadebe of the Osondi Owendi fame, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, Christy Essien-Igbokwe, Sunny Okosun, Onyeka Onwenu, Oliver De Coque, Lara George and a host of other artistes too numerous to mention.

The evolution of Nigerian music is phenomenal. There was a time highlife ruled the Nigerian music world. Then came juju, fuji and Afro-beat popularised by Fela in the sixties. Thereafter came the Nigerian brand of hip-hop in the early eighties. I remember the likes of Mike Okri, Felix Lebarty, Danny Wilson, Blackky, Chris Okotie, Dizzy K. Falola and Alex Zitto. On the reggae side, we had the Mandators, Oritz Wiliki, Majek Fashek, Ras Kimono and Evi Edna Ogholi. The evolution gave way to revolution in the 90s with the emergence of new kids on the block like The Remedies, Plantashun Boyz, Daddy Showkey, Papa Fryo and Daddy Fresh. There was also Junior and Pretty, Maintain group and the Styl-Plus group. The split of The Remedies and Plantashun Boyz gave rise to star artistes like Tuface Idibia, Tony Tetuila and Eedris AbdulKarim.

The Internet's impact on daily living

Written by Chukwuemeka Fred Agbata Jnr. (CFA)

Chukwuemeka Fred Agbata Jnr.

There is a huge impact of technology on our everyday life. One of the greatest blessings of technology is the internet. Many of us have already become so used to the internet that we take it for granted today.

In actual fact, the internet can be considered as one of the world's most significant inventions which has brought a number of influences on people's daily lives.

For some, it is impossible to go a single day without the internet; it has simply revolutionised the way we live, interact and operate on a daily basis. Ordering for a pizza, for instance, purchasing a television set, sharing a moment with friends, transmitting a picture via instant messaging, sending a mail and more are already common activities online.

Before the invention of the internet, if you wished to get any news, you must walk down to the newspaper stand or seek out a newspaper vendor early in the morning to be able to buy the local edition of the newspaper reporting what had occurred the previous day.

Now, one or two clicks away on your device with internet connection, (laptop, mobile phone, iPad, etc), is enough to enable you to gain access to read your local online newspaper like www.punchng.com or any other newspaper from anywhere in the world in real time as they are being updated.

Office Stress -(Video)

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Are you an e-parent?

Written by Blossom Nnodim - Nigeria

 (blcompere@gmail.com @blcompere)

Blossom Nnodim

It all started with a chance meeting on that breezy evening. I had gone to pick up my children from school and, suddenly, there she was, the proprietress of the school, looking rather radiant in her crimson attire.

For what seemed an eternity, I basked in the unknown warmth of the celebrity status as she excitedly informed me that she had been a regular reader of my articles in The PUNCH.

As I was still trying to take in this excitement, she asked me to help teach the grade four pupils stuffs about the social media during the school's Parent-Teaching Day.

Fast forward to the following week. I had so much fun sharing and learning some cool stuff about the social media from a bunch of excited school children. I made an attempt to grasp what they already knew about the subject. I must say that I was really impressed by what they knew.

The reality is that they, too, are aware of the social media. Also I told them about my 'friend', Mark Zuckerberg – the Chief Executive Officer of Facebook. They were quite impressed with his achievement and went further to intimate me on what they would likely ask him if they had the opportunity to meet him in life.

It is my pleasure to share their ideas below:

First, pretty Clare informed me that the social media is something we use in connecting with people. She asked Mark if he was married. If so, did he love his wife? She went further to tell me that I was pretty. God bless her heart, I love girls who know how to play the flattery game.

Next, stern-looking Okwy said the social media served as a means of communication with other people online. His quick question for Mark was how he made his billions. More important, he asked him about his age.

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