Twins from different fathers in one womb

Written by Sola Ogundipe
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 15, 2017. 

Siblings can have different fathers; can twins born of a woman have two fathers? The straight answer is yes. Twins could be "bipaternal." This phenomenon occurs quite rarely (1 in a billion to be exact), but several pairs of non-identical twins have been born, tested and found to be the products of one womb, one pregnancy, but two fathers.

It is often assumed that for twins, both eggs were fertilized during a single act of intercourse. However it is quite possible for one egg to be fertilized during one act of intercourse, and the other during another if the woman has intercourse with two men within hours.

Normally, women ovulate only one healthy egg per cycle. Fraternal twins are born when women ovulate two healthy eggs and both get fertilised. But it is also possible for two eggs to be ovulated during the same cycle and fertilised at different points within the five-day fertility window resulting in twins. This process is known as "superfecundation". What this means is that each egg can be fertilised by different sperms.

If a woman ovulates two or more eggs and she has sex with more than one man while she's fertile, "heteropaternal superfecundation" can occur, if the eggs get fertilised by sperm from the two different fathers within the same ovulation period.

Medical research shows that when a woman has sex with two men within the same ovulation window, it can result in bi-paternal twins, that come when a woman releases two eggs during ovulation instead of one - and both eggs are then fertilized.

When a man cheats on his wife!

Written by Yetunde Arebi
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 15, 2017.

Please, close your eyes for a minute. Now, imagine that something terrible just happened to you, such as an accident or illness, rendering you incapable of being in charge of your life. You have become so incapacitated, you can no longer run your own show. You can no longer bark out orders at your family and loved ones.

You are no longer that fire spitting boss at the office that everyone dreaded to cross path with. No longer are you that loud laughing, back pumping buddy to your friends and colleagues. Your beer guzzling and cigarette puffing addiction which you loved to call enjoyment can no longer be fed. Yes, imagine that you are now totally dependent on some other persons to help you get by.

You need someone to take care of your personal private needs, particularly toilet needs. Simple tasks such as bathing, brushing your teeth, eating, sitting, getting into your own bed, talking, laughing, and even taking your own medication have become the duty of some others. All you can do now is stare at the ceiling and into space as you lay in your bed like a zombie. What do you think would happen to you should you suddenly become a vegetable? Who do you think ought to be responsible for your care?

This was exactly what happened to Steve, a 59 year old business man when he suddenly suffered a severe stroke two years ago. According to Angelica, his wife of about 25 years, it all happened so suddenly late one night." Because we did not share a room, I did not realise that anything had happened to him until I woke up at about 5.30am to use the bathroom and heard a muffled sound coming from his room.

It was a strange sound, so I decided to check on him. Then, I saw him, lay out straight and staring at the ceiling, foaming from his mouth. I rushed out of our apartment and alerted the neighbours to help us get him to the hospital and called his siblings and some close family members too. Informing them of the development.

This was very important so no one would accuse me of keeping his condition a secret from them until something irreversible happened. As you are aware, a woman is usually held responsible for any condition or death of her husband in this part of the world, even if the cause of his death is public knowledge.

At the hospital, we were informed that he had suffered a full stroke which had affected his brain severely. He lost virtually all his senses, movement, coordination, speech, feeling (touch), he just lay there, with his eyes open without seeing anything or acknowledging anything. The family coughed out a fortune to save his life and God granted him favour. He survived but became a vegetable. The man I once knew is gone and may never return to that body".

Elusive female orgasm: who is to blame?

Written by Yetunde Arebi
~Vanguard Nigeria.  Friday, December 16, 2016. 

Female orgasm remains a contemporary issue in female sexual experience because of its complexity both scientifically and naturally. Many factors such as culture and tradition, religion, education. exposure, communication and personality also contribute to the difficulties faced by couples to make this happen with every sexual experience. In my quest to make this near magical experience more accessible to more women, I asked a couple of friends to share their views on the subject with me. It’s quite hilarious:

Bimbo Mate is a 46 year old Civil Servant and Relationship Counsellor. She thinks it is a now social problem:

This is a big problem between many couples. Some years ago, this was not a very important issue in many relationships. Not because it was not there, but because couples hardly talked about it nor did they actually make it a subject of discussion among their friends. But today, things have changed. Nigerians are more enlightened, we are not only more conscious of our surroundings, but of ourselves too.

Women who were hitherto, subservient to their men are now gaining more grounds by the day. There is educational freedom, economic freedom, and a conscious pursuit of good health and general well being on the part of individuals as a whole. So, many women are no longer interested in handouts and leftovers from the men. Even where the women still lack economic power, they have the advantage of education and social awareness to help them get their goals.

So, it’s only natural that things can no longer remain as they were some 30, 20, or even 10 years ago. Women now want to live a more pleasurable and fulfilled life. Back then, women who were bold enough to demand and take what they knew was good for them in relationships were often castigated and labelled. In extreme cases, their men may even seek divorce because of these women’s perceived overbearing attitude. But now, the reverse is more or less the case.

Inability to sleep at night can be managed

Written by Oladapo Ashiru, Professor of Anatomy/Consultant Reproductive Endocrinologist
~The Punch Nigeria. Wednesday, September 28, 2016.

Oladapo Ashiru

If you are one of these women aged 40 and over who find it difficult to sleep, know that you are not alone. Many women wake up every night between 12 midnight and 4 am and start prowling around the house. In frustration, you may begin pacing the house, cleaning the kitchen floor, surfing the Internet or watching CNN or movies on late night TV.

Getting a good night's sleep becomes more and more difficult as we age, but women in menopause find it particularly difficult to get such. In many cases this inability to sleep is due to too much estrogen in your system, which is not balanced by progesterone.

Before menopause, estrogen is the dominant hormone for about the first two weeks in the menstrual cycle and progesterone is dominant in the last two weeks of the cycle. When menopause occurs naturally these two hormones should continue to balance each other, but if you are a woman leading a stressful lifestyle during menopause, you may find that your production of progesterone is suppressed and or converted to stress hormones and you will have a dominance of estrogen in your system leading to sleeplessness and other unpleasant menopausal symptoms.

Using a little progesterone cream made from natural bio identical plant sources may help you to easily solve this problem. The right way to use progesterone cream or oil is to use about 1/8 to ¼ of a teaspoon daily for three weeks out of the month, with a week off each month to maintain sensitivity of the progesterone receptors.

Natural progesterone cream made from bio-identical plant sources is not the same as the synthetic hormone progestin, which is made from animal sources.

I know of some women who have not slept for longer than four hours since they started menopause. When they were given some progesterone cream they reported that they were able to sleep for eight hours. This was a major turning point in their recovery from a long list of menopausal and health problems.

”FOR THE MARRIED WOMEN AND THOSE INTENDING TO GET MARRIED, LISTEN AND TAKE HEED!!

Excerpts from Pastor Chris’ Teaching! 
~Christ Embassy.Org Online Missions

Pastor Chris Oyakhilome

Husband does not mean the male partner in a marriage, husband means master. The reason for most problems in Christian marriages is the fact that women refute God’s definition of marriage and form theirs. 

They believe they are equal partners. If most women had their fathers bold enough to talk to them, they will be very successful in their marriage and they will be very happy people. Most women have never been taught by their parents, their fathers particularly and that’s their biggest problem because they don’t know who a man is, they think he is another woman. 

In marriage, you have the man who is the head of that union and because he’s the head of that union, its important to understand him. You think he’s the one that needs to understand his wife and that is where you are wrong. 
He will eventually but you have to know the type of man you are married to and his needs.When you say you are marrying a man, you are coming under his authority. 
The Bible says, the man is the head of the woman (1 Corinthians 11:3) so when you marry him you come under his authority, you are not authority sharers even though you are both heirs to the kingdom of God.When you decide not to subject yourself to that authority, you are a rebel and God is not going to accept what you are doing because you are not functioning correctly. 

Why did God make the woman? Making woman was not God’s original plan because after God created Adam and before He made Eve, He said in Genesis 1:31 “Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good”. 
God made woman because of man so woman was not His original idea. This is reality.Genesis 2:18a “And the Lord God said “for it is not good for a man to be alone..” The Bible didn’t say “lonely” but “alone”. 


There is a big difference. Man wasn’t lonely but alone. Genesis 2:18b “…I will make him an help meet”. He didn’t say a partner or a supervisor or a special advisor or someone to tell him what to do.
I will make him someone to help him. God gave man a responsibility so woman was made to help man achieve that responsibility. If this is understood in every home then you won’t have problems.

Why sugar could be eight times more addictive than cocaine!

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, September 18, 2016.

DOES the thought of living life sugar-free fill you with horror? If so, you may unknowingly be addicted. In fact, sugar is believed to be eight times more addictive than cocaine. Some people are more sensitive than others, but the more sugar you eat, the more likely it has taken hold of your addictive pathways and is driving you to eat – and drink – far too much.

When sugar hits the bloodstream, it stimulates release of a brain chemical called dopamine, which makes you feel good. The feeling is usually short-lived. By the time you're licking the chocolate off your fingertips or picking the last crumbs of biscuit from the plate, your dopamine levels will probably have fallen, taking you into a mini-withdrawal. This can trigger cravings for more sugar, urging you, against your better judgement, to pick up another biscuit or break off another square of chocolate so your brain can have another hit of dopamine. Before long, the biological signals that would normally control hunger and satiety (fullness) are swiftly being overwhelmed by this dopamine stimulation, to the point where your body (and brain) starts listening only to sugar's cues and ignores the fact that you have already eaten far more than you need.

If you have even the mildest addiction to sugar, there is every chance that your 'off' switch no longer works properly in response to eating, either. That's why one biscuit or scoop of ice-cream never seems like enough, even after a huge meal. The more sugar you eat, the more your tolerance adapts, so you end up needing more and more sugar to get the same boost – drug addicts and alcoholics experience the same cycle.

QUIZ: ARE YOU A SUGAR ADDICT?

ANSWER honestly yes or no to the following questions …

*CAN YOU eat sweet, starchy or fatty foods until you are over- full?

*DO YOU feel hungry even after eating a full meal

*CAN YOU eat large quantities of sweets or stodgy foods even when you're not feeling particularly hungry?

When your man needs 'outside' help'!

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, September 11, 2016.

With many of our men complaining of different types of 'accidents' in the bedroom, it is no surprise that the help of what is now termed a 'sexual surrogate' could come in handy. The average 'sexual surrogate' is not a prostitute but a trained psychotherapist who acts as a surrogate for men suffering from a variety of sexual problems which are hampering their ability to have a normal physical relationship.

Padma Deva is currently a highly successful surrogate based in the UK. She said she's never had a negative experience with a client, and far from feeling in any way degraded by her work, she finds it emotionally fulfilling.

According to her: "It is wonderful to witness the transformation my clients undergo, and knowing I have played a part in that is rewarding. During an initial consultation with a new client, I recommend a client sees their doctor to rule out physical causes for their sexual problems such as diabetes or high blood pressure."

If surrogacy is deemed appropriate, she asks her client to take a sexually transmitted disease test before hand. Only then can the surrogacy work begin. To start with, both client' and surrogate may remain fully clothed, focusing on exercises such as touching each other's hands, arms, shoulders and face. As the therapy advances, the client and the surrogate may build up to removing their clothes, engaging in genital contact and, if necessary and appropriate, full sexual intercourse.

Affairs with married women are not as 'safe' as men think – Reader

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, August 28, 2016.

FROM time to time, I get letters from you readers that are so interesting that I feel I ought to share them with the rest of you. A few days back, a letter simply signed "Iyabode" popped up on my e-mail and I couldn't help chuckling to myself as I read it. She wrote: "Dear Bunmi, I am one of the regular readers of your articles in The Vanguard every Sunday, and I do not even know how fully I can express my feelings about your articles. If I may tell you, they have really improved my lifestyle and I always make copies available to friends whenever the need arises.

Bunmi, I shall be grateful if you can please help write something one of these days on: Why men of today prefer married women as girlfriends. Honestly speaking, it is a vogue in town these days. Please help emphasize on the following points:

Class: This set of married women are known for their own class. Most of them are wives of rich and notorious men. These men also go out at all times with extremely younger girls, leaving their wives and kids at home, thinking that money can fix everything, forgetting about love and happiness.

Sex: This category of ladies are preferred by men because they do have wide sexual experiences and they are very safe as they don't pester the men for marriage.

Fashion: These ladies are very fashion conscious. They are seen in designer dresses and at beauty parlours. They do not mind how much they spend on manicures, pedicures and professionally

High cholesterol is dangerous, prevent it!

Written by Rotimi Adesanya

~Punch Nigeria. Wednesday, August 17, 2016.

Web for more health tips: www.doctoradesanya.blogspot. com

During the last festive period, a woman in her middle age developed partial stroke and was admitted in the hospital. She recovered fully but the family felt that the problem might not be stroke since the woman's blood pressure had never been high and her blood sugar level had always been within the normal range, meaning she was not hypertensive or diabetic.

Her blood sample, which was sent to the lab for investigations, showed elevated blood cholesterol, a condition called hypercholesterolemia. It was later found that high cholesterol was responsible for the first stroke she suffered.

Hypercholesterolemia, or high cholesterol, occurs when there is too much cholesterol in the body. Cholesterol is a soft, waxy, fat-like substance that is a natural component of all the cells in the body. The body makes all the cholesterol it needs. However, added cholesterol, which comes from the foods eaten, may cause harm.

High cholesterol raises the risk for heart disease, heart attack, and stroke. When there is too much cholesterol circulating in the blood, it can create sticky deposits (called plaque) along the artery walls. Plaque can eventually narrow or block the flow of blood to the brain, heart, and other organs. Blood cells that get caught on the plaque form clots, which can break loose and completely block blood flow through an artery, causing heart attack or stroke.

While heredity may be a factor for some people, the main culprits are lack of exercise and diets high in saturated fat. High cholesterol can be prevented, sometimes with lifestyle changes (diet and exercise) alone. If these do not work, your doctor may recommend medications to lower your cholesterol levels.

Signs and symptoms

In the early stages, there are usually no symptoms of high cholesterol. The only way to tell if the cholesterol is high is through a blood test.

Sex does get better at 40!

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, July 31, 2016.

Do you dread the thought of reaching middle age? Wearing sensible shoes? Worrying about your wrinkles? Going off sex? Totting at what young people get up to? Well, forget it! Middle age has had a make-over. Two different studies have revealed that far from facing a mid-life crisis: women in theirmiddle years are increasingly confident, having more fun and enjoying better sex than ever.

So why does life get better once you leave your 30s behind? That's the question Jill Arnold, a senior lecturer in Psychology at Nottingham Trend University asked a group of women. At the age of 59, she felt that talking to other women about then-lives and experiences might help her to

understand. Along with her photographer daughter, she launched a project to find out how women view themselves as they get older. Arnold and her daughter interviewed and photographed 50 women aged between 45 and 65. Far from meeting frumps and grumps, they found people who were funny, creative and surer of themselves then ever before. "I think the increased confidence comes from knowing what you want," says Arnold.

"By the time they reach middle age, many women have spent years pursuing their careers and devoting all their energy to their children. Now they are looking forward to doing more things independently, even selfishly." One woman told me that she'd always thought she would feel isolated as she grew older. But her life is fuller than ever and she has a long list of things she wants to do with her time as soon as she retired.

" Arnold believes that although older women still feel under pressure to look good, they think to themselves: "I will try to find a way that is convenient for me." She says: It's not that these women don't care what anyone thinks any more. They know that they will be the judge. But they are more confident about the choices they make.

5 things that will happen to you if you quit alcohol

Written by Adeniyi Ogunfowoke
Adeniyi Ogunfowoke is a travel/tech writer at Jumia Travel
~Vanguard Nigeria. Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Nigerians love their alcohol. It is an important part of our daily lives. This is why after work or during weekends, you see them at a hotel's lounge chatting away with friends while downing bottles of alcoholic beverages. For those who don't take alcohol, they find it difficult to blend in socially. This is because it will be awkward for them to down non-alcoholic drinks amidst bottles of branded alcoholic drink.

Hence, it will be difficult for many to stop drinking alcohol. For those finding it difficult to stop, Jumia Travel, points you to five things that may happen to your body when you stop drinking alcohol. At least if you cannot stop, you can take a break from drinking alcohol even if it's for a couple of weeks.

You will lose weight

Alcohol-beer, wine, and cocktail drinks have a significant amount of calories. These calories have next to nothing effect on the body. If you cut down drinking alcohol, you will begin to lose weight effortlessly without necessarily making any lifestyle changes.

You will sleep better

Booze can make you sleep but not possible for you to sleep soundly. Hence, avoid drinking alcohol before going to bed so that you can get quality sleep for you to perform 100% the following day.


You will stop overeating

According to research, a big driver of eating too much is alcohol because it heightens your senses. As a result, you may eat beyond what your stomach can accommodate.

You will save money

No matter the cost price of alcohol, Nigerians will always buy. Crates of different alcoholic drinks are always available in parties, clubs, and homes. If you want to save a good amount of money, cut your alcoholic intake. If you can, you can calculate the amount you spend on alcoholic every weekend.

You will be healthier

Alcohol increases your blood pressure, can damage the heart muscle and potentially plays an important role in different stages of cancer. Abstaining from alcoholic will make you healthy.

Watch out for this suspected ATM fraudster, EFCC warns Nigerians

~PUNCH NIGERIA. Tuesday, July 19, 2016.


The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission has raised the alarm about the activities of identity thieves and automated teller machine fraudsters in the country.

It has also urged Nigerians to be more careful when carrying out transactions via ATMs and to avoid disclosing their Personal Identification Numbers to others.

In a post on its Facebook page, the anti-graft agency drew attention to the activity of one suspected ATM fraudster, who goes by the name Akinade Tofunmi.

The EFCC, which has released images of the suspect, is seeking the cooperation and support of Nigerians to capture her and prevent her from defrauding more people.

The suspected scammer, who is being trailed by the Ibadan Zonal Office of the EFCC, is into identity theft and lurks around the ATMs and Point of Sale machines.

According to the EFFC, Tofunmi, operates late in the night when all bank transactions had closed and preferably over the weekend when her prospective victims may not be able to alert the banks for any unauthorised transaction.

Why your children might not like your new 'find'

By Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard, Nigeria. Sunday, June 26, 2016

It stands to reason that with the spate of divorce the society now witnesses and the number of unwanted pregnancies, single parenthood has come to stay. The sad picture is that, unlike in the old days when single parents were mostly widows who couldn't be considered young, a lot of single parents today, male and female, are young, intelligent and eager for new relationships.

As a bachelor aptly puts it: ''There are plenty of single women without children you can date, but let's deal with the facts: An equally large number of single mothers are no longer with the fathers of their children, and in many cases have never been.

Does this mean they are supposed to stay home, stop dating and never meet someone worthy of them or their children? Of course not! So let's all wake up and smell the realities of the twenties!"

He continues: "I admit that not long ago, I would date an attractive, intelligent and humorous young lady, and the moment I found out she had a child, my attitude would change. I would find ways to end the relationship. The reason? Well, there were plenty, and not all of them sincere. My main argument was that I felt the father of a woman's baby always had a chance to get back with the mother of the child. 1 figured there was a bond and I didn't want to take a chance on getting close only to end up being dismissed later on in the relationship.

"I once dated a young lady whose little boy clearly knew that I wanted only one thing. At that point, I was not interested in her child and had no desire to play the father-figure role. Her son acknowledged my selfishness and bluntly said: 'Mummy, I don't like him.' She had no qualms about showing me the door but I didn't care – plenty of fish in the sea!" Which reminds me of a friend who met a man she considered caring enough to bring home to her two daughters. The man showed real interest in her kids – bringing them presents, helping them with their homework and occasionally taking them to the club. My friend couldn't beleive her good fortune until she picked up the phone one evening to help her lover dial a number.

Common tenants' complaints against landlords

Written by Abiodun Doherty
~Punch, Nigeria. Tuesday, June 14, 2016.

Abiodun Doherty

Landlord and tenant problems are among the most contentious after issues of land ownership and the reasons are obvious. The interests and concerns of both categories are usually divergent or opposed to one another. One tends to wonder why this is often so and what can be done to reduce or eliminate it. In my opinion, the journey to solution in this instance should start with a careful understanding of the key issues that generate these conflicts. A discussion with most tenants reveals the following issues are the common areas of complaints against their landlords.

Most landlord and tenant relationships usually start on a semi-formal level and it is only as these issues build up and are not addressed amicably that they degenerate into a level where the landlord is more comfortable with ejecting the tenant or the tenant is more interested in renting another property than renewing his or her tenancy. When issues arise, it is better to discuss them and find amicable solutions to them where possible.

The primary complaint of tenants is that many landlords do not mind their own business. They tend to interfere in the personal space of their tenants and seek to control everything happening in the property. The obvious reason for this is the fact that many landlords have personal attachment to their properties. They are concerned with the look and feel of the properties. They cannot stand to see anyone inhabiting the property without taking care of it as his or her personal property.

Marriage is not for everybody…

Written by Chukwuneta Oby
~Punch, Nigeria. Sunday, May 22, 2016

Chukwuneta Oby

Considering the rate at which marriages are falling like a pack of badly stacked cards…would it not be appropriate for us to ditch our 'holier than thou' slogan of 'divorce is a sin' and pick up a more realistic one like 'marriage is not for everybody?'

The nature of marital issues that I have come across(over the years) has further convinced me that some people are naturally not cut out for marriage or any form of co-habitation that will task everything (patience, tolerance, understanding, sharing, moderation, consideration, etc) in them…this set of people seem to waltz into marriages without an iota of what's involved…in fact, they start feeling stifled or miserable the moment certain 'marital demands'(less time out there- more time at home, being answerable to someone-in a way, realising that you just can't wake up and do as you like-without checking(first) with your partner, often inconveniencing yourself to bring a smile to another's face , etc)-are brought on them.

The wise ones (who seem to understand themselves) have long realised this and followed their path, some others seem to have realised that but would rather pander to the dictates of a society that shoves it in everyone's face to 'get married' or risk being seen as a 'social reject'…is it such a difficult task to understand that some people are simply not cut out for certain life paths? I mean, it is not in their DNA-and frankly-it does not make them bad-in any way…it simply means that anything contrary to their personality will end up making them miserable -that includes marriage, especially when they can't pretend to be enjoying what's actually choking them!


Now, how can anybody expect to be made happy by one who hasn't even found happiness-in his/her own life? It is on this line of reasoning that I stand to implore whoever that is going through certain challenges in his/her marriage to view that partner in the light of the issues I raised above…they may not have really set out to hurt you deliberately-especially when what you are experiencing in the marriage is far from your expectations. Perhaps, it will help-if you understand that 'that person' you are saddled with is on the wrong path (marriage)…as far as his/her personality goes.

I made N3,000 hawking water in 20 minutes - White Naija Girl

~PUNCH, Nigeria. Sunday, May 15, 2016

Popularly known as White Naija Girl, Ibukun Afolabi, from Hungary tells ARUKAINO UMUKORO why she decided to hawk sachet water on the streets of Lagos

Can you give a brief background of yourself?


My husband gave me a Nigerian (Yoruba) name, 'Ibukun,' which means 'blessing.' I am originally from Hungary. I live in the United Kingdom at the moment. In 2008, I came to the UK, where I met my husband, Gbenga Afolabi of MagnumN3. I studied Business and Management. I also hold degrees in German and French languages. When I first came to the UK, I could not speak English, so I had to start learning it from the beginning.

In 2012, I decided to start ­a blog, the whitenaijagirl.com, soon after I got married. Initially, I wanted to write a book, but my husband advised me to start a blog instead so I could reach more people. I started to write about my experiences as a 'Nigerian' wife. Soon, many people - men and women – in relationships with Nigerians started to contact me, asking different questions. The blog became quite successful. Finally, I visited Nigeria in the middle of October last year. I stayed for a month. It was during that period that the video of me selling sachet water was shot.

Was your visit to Nigeria in October your first trip to the country?

Yes it was. But here in the UK, I have had contacts with a lot of Nigerians. The church I attend in the UK is predominantly a Nigerian church. I have always been inspired by Nigerians and their way of living. I love the culture, food and their attitude to life. I also love it that Nigerians take education seriously. My husband is a film-maker and I produce most of his films. When we came to Nigeria; that was when I noticed how hard people in Nigeria are working and how much they needed to struggle on a daily basis to earn a living.


What was the inspiration behind the video of you selling pure water and drinks on the streets of Lagos?

It is because I saw these people doing this every day for a living. And I wondered why they had to live like that in a rich country like Nigeria. That 'pure' water video was done because I wanted to experience what Nigerians are going through, to empathise with them and to go through what they are going through. I realised that it is really hard. And I wanted people to know about this. In the UK, when you have a child, you get child benefits. In Nigeria, there is nothing like that. It is difficult for the women hawking 'pure' water. It is really a difficult job. I wanted to raise awareness about their plight. These people need help from the government. They don't have to risk their lives on the road doing such a job. That was purely my inspiration. It was a great experience, I felt their struggle, because it was hot, you could see me sweating. The load was very heavy. At the beginning, I could not take off the bowl from my head. It was hurting my head even though I had the scarf on. I am planning other projects to raise more awareness about the difficulties every day people face. For me, what I did (selling pure water) was not so extraordinary. What is extraordinary is that people are doing this job daily for a living.

That thing (bowl of sachet, bottled water and drinks) on my head felt so heavy and I only carried it for less than an hour. But those people who do it for a living actually do that for about eight to 10 hours a day. They are the real heroes, not me. I did it for less than an hour because we attracted a little too much attention so we could not carry on. And that was at the time the police were really after people selling on the streets. So, we were a little cautious so as not to get into trouble.

Were you scared at any point?

The humiliation of dating a much younger man

~Vanguard, Nigeria. Sunday, May 15, 2016

COPING with the death of a beloved spouse, especially after years of marriage could be a nightmare. When Lola's husband of over 25 years died suddenly, she was almost suicidal. He had a stomach ache and was dead three days later. Nobody suspected he had a tumour on his liver. "Grief hit me like a boxer's fist," she'd said when a group of friends tried to console her. "He was only 58 and I'd thought we had years left together. I thank God for our three lovely children – but they're all grown now and can hardly be expected to stay at home and hold my hands .. ."

Thanks to the determination of friends, she started picking up the pieces of her life. They dragged her to parties and outings. It was at her late husband's club she ran into David. He'd been a younger friend with whom he played table tennis. "He was a quiet man, just like my husband," said Lala, "and he listened sympathetically as I poured out my heart to him. After all, he too had lost a friend. A few weeks later, I was at the club again when I met David amongst friends, celebrating his 40th birthday. We all joined in and I had a wonderful time. When he learnt I'd come in a friend's car, he insisted on taking me home. 'Your life need not be over now your husband's dead,' he told me

solemnly. 'If you like, I could look after you.'

"My jaw dropped. I was 14 years older. What sort of relationship would we have? But he urged me to think about it. I should have been more cautions and told him off.

"My husband had just died and I was lonely – and flattered I could still be attractive to a man. I loved my husband but he was gone. He was never coming back. I was still here and I had to keep on living. So, when next he invited himself in for a drink, I didn't discourage him. He came with a bottle of wine and some chicken and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed his company. In no time at all, we became lovers.

Spanking can harm your child's mental health

Written by Bukola Adebayo
~Punch, Nigeria. Friday, May 6, 2016

Agreed that a verse of the Bible says, "Spare the rod and spoil the child". And it will be wrong to disobey instructions from above. However, the Holy Book does not say you should use the rod to harm the child.

Many parents, caregivers and guardians use the rod to harm children in an attempt to 'discipline' them. Such incidents bring up the moral and logical question on the role of the rod in parenting.

Science may have provided some insights and answers to the puzzle. After collecting and evaluating the results of a 50-year-old study, researchers announced the troubling and yet enlightening result of spanking in kids, either for correctional or punitive purposes.

The study, published in this month's Journal of Family Psychology, reveals that the more children are spanked, the more likely they are to defy their parents; experience anti-social behaviour; express aggression, suffer mental health problems and cognitive difficulties.

The scientists evaluated the research which involved over 160,000 children across the globe.

The lead researcher and associate professor of human development and family sciences at the University of Texas at Austin, Elizabeth Gershoff, described the result as the most accurate and evidence-based analysis that has showed the effects of spanking alone in many years.

Gershoff says, "Our analysis found that spanking was associated with unintended detrimental outcomes and was not associated with more immediate or long-term compliance, which are parents' intended outcomes when they discipline their children."

Scholar and co-author Andrew Grogan-Kaylor links spanking with 13 of the17 negative outcomes in children and adults.

"The upshot of the study is that spanking increases the likelihood of a wide variety of undesired outcomes in children. Spanking thus does the opposite of what parents usually want it to do," Grogan-Kaylor says.

Getting married even when you are broke

Written by Ugodre Obi-Chukwu

Twitter: @nairamterics or @ugodre. 

Website: www.nairametrics.com 

~Punch: Thursday, April 7, 2016

Nnamdi has been dating Amaka for about three years now and pressure is mounting on for them to take the relationship to the next level. Nnamdi is approaching his mid-thirties and Amaka is also not getting any younger making time not exactly their friend. Their respective parents are also mounting pressure and do not understand why their children would not just get married soon enough.

Unknown to either parents, Nnamdi and Amaka have a major stumbling block. Apart from being career focused individuals they also believe more importantly that their combined salary is not enough for them to build a home and at the same time pursue their career objectives.

Many of us fall into this trap at some point in our life and if not handled carefully can lead to serious emotional and financial distress. How does one get married without enough money? I will attempt to respond by addressing some of the common excuses we give.

I can't afford wedding "ceremoney" - The thought of preparing for a wedding ceremony is one that scares many off early marriages. Most people consider it a very special event and believe the only way to live a lasting memory is to splurge on it. Having a memorable wedding is important for everyone however, not everyone can afford an expensive and memorable wedding. With proper planning you can have a cheap and memorable wedding as well.

Wedding ceremony shouldn't be seen as a do or die affair as all you have to do is spend what you can afford. What you should realise is that at the end of the day it's about you and your spouse being happily married thereafter and not about the drinks, food and the pageantry that comes with the ceremony. There will be many, many more opportunities to be merry with friends and family.

Where will we live after we get married? -My friend, Victor once told me he got married to his wife when he was still living in a one bedroom flat. After the wedding, they came back home to their one room apartment happier than they could ever imagine. I asked him why and he said the thought of them spending the night together forever was all they wished for and could as well have lived in the car if that's what it will take. The point here is that you need not live in a three bedroom or four bedroom apartment to get married. You could even have just married and still living in your parent's apartment provided you are both focused on the goal.

One-night stands can't heal a failed relationship

Written by Bunmi Sofola

~Vanguard: Monday, April 11, 2016

According to Professor of Psychology Simon Baron Cohen, "Generally, men have, 'systemising' brains (they like classifying information and enjoy games and gadgets),whereas women have 'emphasising' brains (they connect with people and emotions).

This lower male drive to 'empathise' means they're more likely to be focused on their own feelings (satisfaction and short-term pleasure) and able to detach from the feelings of others.

Evolution may also be a reason men were hunters whose job was to kill- and, for that, a lack of empathy is a distinct advantage."

The professor's view throws some light on the emotional fallout women experience as a result of casual sex.

A few months back, Beth, a 26-year-old staff nurse who confessed she'd lost count of the one-night stands she'd had; complained bitterly that: "I thought that having one-night stands was how to find a boyfriend-you meet someone at a party maybe, go home with them and have sex, and then afterwards you start seeing each other, but it never seemed to work out like that. They make you feel so incredibly special but it's for one night only and it never, ever lasts. When I realised this was the case, I decided to stop having one-night stands."

With girls like Beth, the puzzling questions are the same: "Why did he never call when he took my number and asked me out to dinner next week? How, when we got so intimate and establish such a connection, could he forget me so quickly"?

A few men fee actually confessed that beneath the predatory front shown by many of them was extreme, unresolved pain from a previous relationship.

Whereas we, as women, are able to work through our romantic agonies by talking to friends, men are more likely to suppress and deny the pain they feel.

After making a pact with themselves that they'll never be hurt again, they'll immerse themselves in an orgy of causal sex, imagining its physical gratifying and, more importantly, emotionally safe- as long as they never call the next day!