Nurture your relationship, avoid mental illness

Written by Adeoye Oyewole - Nigeria

Adeoye Oyewole

Saint Valentine's Day, also known as Valentine's Day or the feast of Saint Valentine is a holiday observed on February 14 each year. It is celebrated in many countries around the world, although it is not a holiday in most of them.

Valentine's Day began as a liturgical celebration of one the earliest Christian saints named Valentinus. Several martyrdom stories were later invented for the various Valentines that belonged to February 14 and added to later martyrologies.

A popular account of Saint Valentine of Rome states that he was imprisoned for performing wedding for soldiers who were forbidden to marry and for ministering to Christians who were persecuted under the Roman Empire.

According to legend, during his imprisonment, he helped the daughter of his jailer, Asterius, whom he wrote a letter signed "Your Valentine" as farewell. The day was later associated with romantic love in the high middle ages when the tradition of courtly love flourished.

In the 18th Century England, it evolved into an occasion in which lovers expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, confectioneries and sending greeting cards. In Europe, Saint Valentine's keys are given to lovers "as a romantic symbol of a tool to unlock the giver's heart."

The modern day symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves and the figure of the winged cupid. The day is observed all over the world and has the same overall message of love. The celebration of Valentine cuts across age, race and social class, with embellishments peculiar to the particular group.

The beauty of goodness

There is beauty in being good, in doing good, and in harbouring good thoughts. The world would have been so much a better place if people who are doing good are allowed to showcase their goodness without being trampled upon by the bad few. I am of the opinion that the people who are doing good are by far larger in number than those who perpetuate bad deeds.

I am not talking of those doing well as the adverb of good insists. You could be doing well in your studies and do well in your armed robbery business!

I should however quickly differentiate between being good and being evil. Good behaviour or act of goodness is primarily attitudinal. A good person is a responsible person, law abiding, and respectful, thoughtful, considerate, kind hearted, selfless, decent and imbued with all attributes of good upbringing and good nurture and culture.

Evil is not the opposite of good. Evil is much deeper than being simply bad. Evil deeds are invariably bad, but they are weightier and of deadlier consequences. A ready example is the case of a wealthy man who has about ten wives and boastfully goes about to entice the only wife of a struggling man and snatches the wife from him. The home being ruined might have been a happy home even amidst the couple's poverty.

That you are not a good person does not necessarily mean that you are evil or even bad. You may by nature be a misanthropist or a kill-joy. You do not mix with people, you are a loner, you do not find happiness in anything and nothing really tickles your fancy. All these do not make you evil or a bad person. Whereas you could be the greatest mixer with an Insurance salesman charm and be a cold blooded murderer! You could be the laughing gas with harmless mien and yet be the world's worst serial rapist.

Goodness is not when you have killed so many innocent people in your quest for power position and privilege and you now begin a reckless act of charity with ill gotten wealth, That does not qualify you to belong in the realm of good people, because the depth of your heart harbours the depth of demonic evil.

ARE THE MEN STILL CLAPPING?

11 people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter. There were 10 men and a woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all. So they decided that one of them had to leave, otherwise they were all going to fall. They were not able to agree on who that person would be. Until the woman among them gave a touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope because as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general. She said she was used to always making sacrifices and getting little or nothing in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping...

All the men, of course, dropped to their untimely deaths and she flew away alone in the chopper. Well, what can a woman do?

That is the power of a woman, the brand only smart men recognize and acknowledge. If there had been at least one of those 10 excitable men who could see beyond that woman's 'moving' speech, he would be alive today. But don't we all know that men don't do much thinking when they see women they want?

In my mind's eyes, I could see the woman in that joke wearing a very short skirt, no bra and a top with a plunging neckline. How do you reason with a man drooling over ample cleavage? If you scream 'Praise the Lord', he won't shout Halleluyah because he is far away in la-la land. The woman in that joke, I'm sure, also had smooth skin, probably fair skin. All 10 men simply threw their thinking caps in the air or how else do you explain why they all forgot that they did not have third hands and that once they started clapping they were going to drop to their deaths?

How to make it BIG in Nigeria

As a writer and a student of business literature, any time I come across a Nigerian entrepreneur sharing his thoughts and life experiences in the form of a book which others can read and be inspired by, I feel so fulfilled. The real heroes of Nigeria, to me, are not our politicians who make their easy money running into millions and billions bleeding our coffers. The real heroes of Nigeria are people like Aliko Dangote, Mike Adenuga, Cletus Ibeto and every entrepreneur, big or small-people who started from nothing to create a business which grows from small to mighty. People who waded though all kinds of obstacles but never gave up until they scored their goals. People who create businesses that employ many in this country of ours bedeviled by the big, ravaging monster, the time bomb called unemployment.

Poly I. Emenike, chairman and founder of Neros Pharmaceuticals, an entrepreneur par excellence whose book,ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRITS: Through the Seventeen Success Principles of Napoleon Hill is to be presented at the Nigerian Institute of International Affairs (NIIA) on Wednesday is a Nigerian hero whose story is the type that movies are made of. He belongs to the generation of Igbo who came out of the Nigerian Civil War with nothing-no education, no money, no connections, no strong foundation upon which to build their future success. But still, they made it, guided by the hand of God who blesses those who use their brains to create wealth.

After the civil war, Emenike came to Lagos trading in bathroom slippers. He bought his goods from one Alhaji Kadiri who was Emenike's hero and role model on the grounds that he owned a Volvo car. When he suddenly bought two brand new ones, Emenike was filled with awe and admiration. He started praying, dreaming and hoping that one day, he too would work hard and own a Volvo like Alhaji Kadiri. But as he examined and frankly assessed his life and the way he was going, he knew that merely selling bathroom slippers would not take him anywhere in life, let alone buy a brand new Volvo. He knew he had to drastically change his line of business and move into something more lucrative, if he wanted to go far in life.

Places to get life partners

Written by Peter Okeugo

Mr. Right does not always show up with roses at your doorsteps. Neither will Miss Right sprout from the soil. You have to position yourself to be noticed. Where? How?

Shopping mall

Give up the habit of shopping at smaller supermarkets; rather, opt for shopping malls. One strategic way of being spotted by a potential lover is to identify what he or she may be likely to shop for and hang around there. A man can hang around a wig or hair extension shop, while ladies can visit menswear section to be spotted.

Volunteer organisation

Volunteering can be a fast card to walking down the aisle sooner than later. Humanitarian organisations like those in charge of the elderly, health awareness groups or social activism groups are usually in need of volunteers. Volunteer on weekend when you have less work to do. This develops your ability for social interaction too.

Women doing the uncommon: Amazing world of Female barbers, bus drivers, others

Culled from Saturday Punch - Nigeria

In a very competitive environment where opportunities are few, some women are taking the bull by the horn, carving a niche for themselves in male-dominated vocations writes Eric Dumo

Female-mechanics-at-work

There are many things that make her thick. Apart from standing at a staggering 6feet and having a plum built, Gladys Famous is a giant in many ways. Venturing into a vocation largely the preserve of men, the Edo State-born young woman has been able to make a name for herself in her Ijede, Ikorodu neighborhood by dishing out amazing hair cuts to dozens of customers. The first female barber in the entire community, Famous enjoys a large following. In 2012, she emerged among the best 10 barbers in the whole of Lagos at the annual State competition organized by a popular clipper manufacturer. Today, having toiled so hard to own a well-equipped salon, she is giving male colleagues in the business a run for their game.

"I have been in this job for about four years and I'm enjoying every bit of it,"  she said, "I never really planned to be a barber but after looking for a job without success, I decided to make a meaning out of my life.

"There was a day I had a dream where I saw a woman on knickers cutting a man's hair. Even though I was amazed by that dream, I didn't think it could be telling me something because my plans were completely different from what I am doing today.

"Along the line, a friend who was searching for a job for me asked me one day what other thing I would love to do apart from working in an office and the only thing I told him was that I wanted to be a barber. He asked if I was serious about it and I said yes. So he took me to a guy named Shina to train me and later paid the registration fee of N20, 000 for me. The man didn't even believe that I would take the training serious. Many times he would drive by just to see if I was there and to his surprise, he would find me there. That was how I started this journey."

Female LAWMA truck driver at work

But it wasn't a smooth sail for Famous climbing the ladder of success. There were several obstacles along the way - some enough to extinguish her fire. Apart from the envy and criticisms from male colleagues she came up against, sexual harassment from naughty customers was another challenge that almost forced her out of the profession. Only the resolve to succeed in this male-dominated path, she explained, kept her going.

"My boss who trained me on this job really treated me well because I was attracting customers to his salon. As a result of my presence in that salon, people trooped in droves even though many of them never really required a haircut. They just wanted to see me at work because it was a bit strange to them that a female could be barbing. For this reason, my boss liked and pampered me.

Cheap, easy ways to have fun in marriage

Written by Bosede Ola-Samuel - Nigeria

For many couples, sex is no longer what it used to be. There's no more adventure. So, they are stuck with the hope that things will get better. But the truth is, many times, wishes do not translate into reality. That is the basis of the popular saying, "if wishes were horses, beggars would ride." Wishing it will get better is not likely going to work. Couples who are serious about having a better sex life need to work at it. They may need to talk to sex experts to find out how they can put the "fire" back in their sex life. They could also read more books, magazines and write-ups on sex. Trying out the tips below will surely help in that direction. 

The starting point is to talk about your sex life in order to find out what the missing link is. If you doubt the need for this, then read this excerpt:

"Even long-term couples can struggle in the bedroom. Though we can easily tell our partner what shirt we'd like him to wear, or what we'd like to cook together for dinner, we tend to get tongue-tied when it comes to the topic of sex. 'People tend to be very sensitive when it comes to talking about sex. They're afraid of hurting their partner's feelings, so, they don't tell them what they like or don't like. But you're not going to get it unless you ask for it,' says relationship and family therapist, Rachel Sussman."

So, how do you tell your partner what you want without bruising his or her ego? I think it's really in how you bring up the statement. You can begin by saying, "I would love it if we..." or, "Could we try this?" You don't want to make them feel bad about what they've done or haven't done.

Nigerians in America: How (NOT) to raise our children

Written by Abiodun Ladepo

Ladepo, a resident of Los Angeles, California, USA.

Email: oluyole2@yahoo.com

It begins with the language spoken in the home. It is often the case that parents who share the same Nigerian language speak English to their children at home even when the children are just babies and toddlers. This is a waste of the child's wide repertoire for learning new things, including new languages. 

Various psychologists and socio-linguists opine that every child is imbued with an innate ability to acquire a language. What parents need to do is place that child in close proximity to the language and the child would pick it up effortlessly. Parents unwittingly underestimate the child's capacity to learn the parents' native language, internalise it as perfectly as the parents do and use it as appropriately as the parents do. By not speaking their native language to their children, parents deny their children the three theories of language acquisition: Imitation, reinforcement and active construction of grammar.

Also, by speaking our adulterated, impure American English to the children, parents unwittingly impede or, in fact, destroy the children's ability to learn American English in its purest form. Most of us who arrived in the US after 12 years of age or after puberty (according to socio-linguists) have forever lost the capacity to learn American English like a native speaker. We come from Nigeria with our breathy alphabets, twisted consonants, misplaced stresses, wrong diction, abbreviated vocabulary, and we unknowingly impose these habits on our children. Our imperfect American English is what we expose our children to, and through the three theories of language acquisition mentioned above, our children acquire our poor English. We do not recognise the fact just as our parents did not sit us down to teach us our native Nigerian languages, that our children would naturally and effortlessly learn from their friends at the nursery, higher schools and playgrounds.

It then goes on into subordinating or completely surrendering our entire mores to the American environment in which we live. Our children wake up and walk past us in the house without rendering the greeting of the day. Forget about girls kneeling down and boys prostrating. The children outright do not even utter the greeting of the day before asking us for whatever they want! A Nigerian man walked into his house with his friend in tow. He found his two teenage boys playing video games in the living room. Rather than greet their father and the guest, the children unplugged their video player and relocated into their room. When the father went to them and chastised them for not having the decency to greet his friend, the boys told him the guest was the father's, not theirs! They didn't think they had the obligation to greet their parents' friends. Some, in fact, call their parents' friends by their first names! Forget "Uncle" or "Auntie."

How prepared are you for retirement?

Written by 'Nimi Akinkugbe 

Email: nakinkugbe@punchng.com

Have you been planning and saving for retirement over the years or have you failed to address this most important stage of your life and suddenly find that retirement is looming? Will your nest egg be able to provide the kind of lifestyle that you desire for the rest of your life? Here are some issues to consider in planning for retirement.

How do you plan to spend your retirement? Consider these scenarios: Several hours of golf may be one of your goals; or it could be world travel, spending more time with your children and grandchildren, or pottering around your garden. At last, you can take your passion or hobby to a new level. You might want to give back to your community through volunteering or philanthropy. Would you like to go back to school just to learn about a subject you've always been interested in, or to share the immense knowledge and experience that you have garnered over the years by teaching?

The possibilities are endless; ideally, this should be the time of your life where you are open to new and exciting opportunities that will keep you productive, mentally stimulated and fulfilled. For far too many people, however, an uncertain future clouds these rosy pictures and they may never become a reality without adequate preparation.

The earlier you begin to save and invest, the more time the power of compounding has to work and your money has to grow. Those who start saving for retirement in their 20s have a much better chance of building a significant nest egg. Saving even a small amount on a regular basis can add up to a tidy sum over a long period of time. The younger you are and the more you have saved, the less you will need to amass in future.

How much do you have to start saving now to generate the kind of income that you will need to afford the lifestyle you desire? It is increasingly rare for a pension to be able to cover all your retirement needs. Your retirement income is likely to come from your pension as well as other savings and investments. As life spans increase, it is not unusual to spend well over 20 years in retirement; so, you need to be sure that your financial resources can last as long as you do.

Ogunmupe: How Riches Come To You

Written by Bayo Ogunmupe -Nigeria

Phone: +234 8034673443

THE universe desires you to have everything you want. Nature or Jehovah is friendly to your plans. He will assent to them if you are virtuous. The world is at your beck and call. Believe this and act it out as the truth, and it shall be so. However, it is essential that your purpose is in harmony with Jehovah's will.

You must want a life of substance, not mere pleasure or sensual gratification. Life thrives on functional performance; you live only when you perform every function physically, mentally and spiritually. God will not grant your wish to be rich in order for you to live swinishly, for the gratification of animal desires. Jehovah will grant you riches in order that you may eat, drink, and be merry when it is proper to do so; in order that you may surround yourself with beautiful things, see distant lands, feed your mind, develop your intellect, in order that you may love men and be kind to them and partake in helping the world find truth.

But extreme altruism isn't better or nobler than selfishness; both are mistakes. Forget the idea that God wants you to sacrifice yourself for others, and that you can secure His favour by so doing. God requires nothing of the kind. What God wants is that you make the most of yourself, so that you can help others more by your riches. You can make the most of yourself more by getting rich. So, it is right and praiseworthy that you give your first and best thought to the work of acquiring wealth.

However, be aware that creative imagination or desire will create things for you but it will not take things away from someone else and give them to you. You must rid yourself of competition in thought or action. You are to create not to compete for God's abundance. You are a creator not a competitor. Plutocrats who become very rich, do so purely by their extraordinary ability, not by competition. Perhaps, competition unlocks the ingenuity in them, enabling them outstrip their rivals. John Rockefeller, Andrew Carnegie, and Purpont Morgan were the unconscious agents of the Almighty in the necessary work of systematizing and organizing the American civilization.

Riches secured through competition are never satisfactory and permanent. They are yours today and another's tomorrow. Remember, if you want to be rich, you must rise above competitive thought, for competition saps your power to create. What is worse, you will arrest the creativity you have already garnered. Know that the money you need will come. Never look at the visible supply, look always at the limitless riches in nature and know that they are coming to you, according to your needs. All you need do is to focalize and express your desire to God.

Sexual feelings, a boost to sexual techniques

Written by Funmi Akingbade - Nigeria

Email: cafi.punch@yahoo.com, 0818 802 2803

Funmi Akingbade

I am a failure as a lover. I'm good at everything else? I'm a good mother, a good businesswoman, a great cook. Why can't I be proficient at sex too? I had bought dozens of popular sex manuals in search of tips on how to be a better lover, but still feel that I am a sexual disappointment according to my husband. This was the plight of Mrs. Ifeayi as she wipes uncontrollable tears off her well make up face. From the look on her face she did not give a damn if she was looking her best or not. As far as she was concerned, if she had this level of failures on bed, she must be a failure.

The moment sex sounds like work, problem sets in. As much as sex is a technique to be mastered, sex is also a natural basic feeling. One of the major causes of sexual unhappiness and frustration is preoccupation with technique. When you become convinced that you are doing it wrong, that somehow you do not move your body properly or touch your partner in just the right way, you may end up obsessed with technique and end up doing sex instead of feeling it. Then you are unduly controlled and have no feeling of pleasure. Instead, try to relax and believe that feeling sexual naturally helps. The best way to be and become a good lover to your husband is to allow yourself to have fun. All you have to do is enjoy yourself.

Your primary goal is not necessarily to please your husband, but to please both of you. Too many wives become totally involved in trying to set just the right mood, to look right and move right and be right in everything but feel right. What really makes a woman a great lover is to wholly and openly enjoy herself.

But how can I enjoy myself when the only time we have for sex is just before we go to sleep at night you may ask. How, indeed! For many of us, life is hectic enough trying to get the children off to school, ourselves off to work and back home again, dinner on the table, and the kids to bed. By 10 or 11 p.m., how are we supposed to suddenly transform ourselves into fabulous, turned-on lovers? We need more than a dab of perfume to make the transition from hardworking wife and mother to great lover.

Are you an e-parent?

Written by Blossom Nnodim - Nigeria

 (blcompere@gmail.com @blcompere)

Blossom Nnodim

It all started with a chance meeting on that breezy evening. I had gone to pick up my children from school and, suddenly, there she was, the proprietress of the school, looking rather radiant in her crimson attire.

For what seemed an eternity, I basked in the unknown warmth of the celebrity status as she excitedly informed me that she had been a regular reader of my articles in The PUNCH.

As I was still trying to take in this excitement, she asked me to help teach the grade four pupils stuffs about the social media during the school's Parent-Teaching Day.

Fast forward to the following week. I had so much fun sharing and learning some cool stuff about the social media from a bunch of excited school children. I made an attempt to grasp what they already knew about the subject. I must say that I was really impressed by what they knew.

The reality is that they, too, are aware of the social media. Also I told them about my 'friend', Mark Zuckerberg – the Chief Executive Officer of Facebook. They were quite impressed with his achievement and went further to intimate me on what they would likely ask him if they had the opportunity to meet him in life.

It is my pleasure to share their ideas below:

First, pretty Clare informed me that the social media is something we use in connecting with people. She asked Mark if he was married. If so, did he love his wife? She went further to tell me that I was pretty. God bless her heart, I love girls who know how to play the flattery game.

Next, stern-looking Okwy said the social media served as a means of communication with other people online. His quick question for Mark was how he made his billions. More important, he asked him about his age.

Romance: Key factor in a successful marriage

Written by Bosede -Ola-Samuel - Nigeria

Romance! What exactly is romance? Romance refers to the actions and feelings of people who are in love, especially behaviour which is caring and affectionate. A romantic person therefore is one who says or does things that make his wife or her husband feel special and loved. Romance involves the expression of an individual's feelings and emotions.

Romance requires time, activities, effort, and creativity. Romance is a definite way of sustaining the love in a relationship. And when you've chosen to spend the rest of your life on earth with someone, it behoves you to do all you can to enjoy every moment of that life. Romance, therefore, is a way of ensuring that you enjoy your life together as married couples.

However, it has been discovered that many marital relationships are devoid of romance. And if romance is all about expression of love in diverse and creative ways, little wonder that the rate of divorce is on the increase daily. To many people, romance is just the exclusive reserve of dating and courtship. According to a line of thought, "romance is a relationship between two persons who are in love with each other, but who are not married to each other." So, once married, romance should be relegated to the background. What this simply means is that love is kept out of marriage, because love is romance and romance is love. To do away with romance in the marriage setting is to kick love out of the marriage. And this means that the marriage is dead because the situation in such an instance is a case of "No love, No marriage."

The paradox of our time in history

A Message by George Carlin:

Sent by DIEN GODWIN - Nigeria

"Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate".  - Dien Godwin

George Carlin

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

 

The 45 lessons life taught me

Sent by Dative Mukashema - Rwanda

Written by a 90-year old

Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

She’s all I want as wife but her beauty…

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com,Tel: 08054500626

Troubled Mic writes Agatha:
Dear Agatha,
I’m a guy of 21 years and there’s this girl, 22, I know she likes me so much and has never shied away from letting me know about this.
Although she has everything I would like in a wife but she is not very beautiful. My desire is to marry a woman who is beautiful. I fear I may break her heart on account of this flaw in her. I am anxious because I have this principle that a man should date only the woman he can marry. What do you think?
Troubled Mic. 

Agatha admonishes:
Dear Troubled Mic,
At 21, you still have a lot of growing up to do in terms of emotional maturity to appreciate life the more. You are yet to get to that point in life when you would need to consider more than the look of a woman to make the right choice.
As you gather experiences in matters of the heart, you will discover that it takes more than the physical appearance of a person to give happiness. The essence of a human being isn’t in how the person looks but in how the person behaves.
Yes, it is advisable and the best policy not to date anyone you cannot get married to, this can only achieve the right results if you scale down on the physical beauty of the person.
Relationship and marriage unlike beauty pageants isn’t fueled by the physical advantages rather it is framed around who that person is. Who a person goes a long way in defining how much happiness, peace and support that person is capable of giving to another person.
A person could have a very pleasant look on the outside but a real terror at home. As a young man just starting out, it is important you learn to place your priorities to avoid the mistake a lot of men before you made and they are biting their fingers for it today.
What should concern you now is how to be this lady’s friend; create an opportunity to know if you both have what it takes to move on. It is also necessary to sound a note of warning here that you get your visions right.
In doing this, you must have a fair idea of where you are headed in the next 10 years from now. This would help you factor in the kind of woman you need to support your dream to reality; point you at the quality of the kind of temperament your woman must have at all times as well as the kind of strength she must have especially if you won’t always be around in the early years. If your vision is to build a successful business, you will need a woman who can function on her own without worrying you about little things such as electricity or minor medical bills. You will need a woman who can manage what she has without nagging you for more. Every man needs a woman who is patient to support his dream to maturity as well as who has the magic to transform a house to a home.
These are not achieved by looks but by dedication to her man and appreciation of her position as the woman in his life. The realization that she is in his life to help him fulfill his mission on earth is what a man needs to help him move to the next level.
Every man needs the motivation provided by the support of his wife to make the difference in life. A woman who is only interested in her looks and not the character of her home will at the end of the day be a huge disappointment not only to her husband but her children too. Men may be the head of the home but the woman is the pillar that holds everything together. She therefore has to be strong to do this job successfully.
This is where the inner beauty comes into play. This is what gives the physical look its character, its skeleton of support. Every beautiful facade must have the right kind of inner support to remain indelible.
Your girlfriend may not be as beautiful as you want your woman to be but that doesn’t mean she isn’t a beautiful person within her. You can only get to know how beautiful she really is if you get close to her.
Have an open mind about her. That you are friends with her doesn’t mean you are walking down the aisle immediately. Sail the boat of friendship; this isn’t complicating at all. Take each day as it comes, don’t make promises you may find difficult to keep until you are sure of the person behind the mask.
A little step at a time helps stabilize so many things.

Learn A LESSON !!

Sent by Veronica Koroma - Sierra Leone
Favourite quote: "Though the mountain top is glorious, but it is in the valley I will grow"
E-mail: nicakad@yahoo.co.uk
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Lesson 1:A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

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Lesson 2:A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
--------------------
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'Iwant to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
--------------------
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
--------------------
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
--------------------

Lesson 6A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
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Lesson 7

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,
but she belonged to someone else...

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, "I'll give you a R100 if you let me
have sex with you. But the girl said NO.

Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on
the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the
time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for R200, pick up the
money very fast, he won't even be able to get his
pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.


Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.

She responded, "The bastard used coins!"

Management lesson:Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

Tequila and Salt

Sent by Benjamin Kenechukwu, Mogor - Nigeria

This I think should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day.
You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2.. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received... Forget about the rude remarks.

So!

Always remember....
when life hands you Lemons,
ask for Tequila and Salt and call me over!

Good friends are like stars…

You don't always see them, But you know they are always there.
"Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway"
I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm here than a whole truck load when I'm gone.

Happiness keeps You Sweet,

Trials keep You Strong,

Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keeps You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only God keeps You Going

Truer Words Were Never Spoken

- Words from Colin Powell

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.

Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.

An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.

As you grow, your associates will change.

Some of your friends will not want you to go on.

They will want you to stay where they are.

Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl.

Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream.

Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you. 

Consider this:

Never receive counsel from unproductive people.

Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how.

Not everyone has a right to speak into your life.

You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person.

Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere. 

With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it. 

Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. 

Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. 

If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights. 

"A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses." 

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate - for the good and the bad. 

Note: Be not mistaken. 

This is applicable to family as well as friends. 

Yes...do love, appreciate and be thankful for your family, for they will always be your family no matter what. 

Just know that they are human first and though they are family to you, they may be a friend to someone else and will fit somewhere in the criteria above. 

"In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us. 

In Adversity We Know Our Friends." 

"Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them."

"If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude."...

Colin Powell

To the youths: How to start up a successful small business in Africa.

By Udeme Ekwere - Nigeria

In Nigeria today, it has become almost a routine for government officials, institutional heads and National Youth Service Corp officials to address youths on their graduation days at schools or passing out days after the mandatory one-year service on the need for them to prepare their minds towards becoming their own bosses.
Importantly, youths are usually advised by the government and private parastatals to think of starting their own businesses, rather than scouting for jobs that may not be there.

One of such corpers, Miss Justina Ogundeji, says she wants to start her own small business, as she does not want to join the growing number of youths looking for paid jobs in the country.
However, she expresses concern that she does not know the basics involved in starting up a small business.
Ogundeji seems not to be the only one facing this kind of predicament. A lot of people who are ready and willing to go into businesses do not have the faintest idea of how to go about it.

A lot of people believe starting a business is a mysterious process. They know they want to start a business, but they do not know the first steps to take.
However, experts say that the first thing that a would-be business owner should have is a burning desire to do it. They advise that you do not just go into business because everyone is trying to do so; but you must have the necessary passion for it.

In a recent study, where entrepreneurs were given a list of attributes and asked to rate their importance for success, the seven most highly ranked qualities were perseverance, the desire and willingness to take the initiative, competitiveness, self-reliance, a strong need to achieve, self-confidence and good physical health.

The Director, Entrepreneurial Development Services, Pan African University, Mr. Peter Bamkole, says that running a small business is not for the undecided or indifferent person, adding that one has to decide to be his own boss and transform his dream into reality.

He says, "Anyone, who wants to go into any kind of small business of his own, must first ask these questions: Do I really want to operate independently and be the person making all the decisions and shouldering all the responsibilities? Am I willing to work hard and make the sacrifices involved in starting a small business? Do I have the self-confidence and self-discipline that will enable me to persevere and build my new enterprise into a success?"

He notes that there are certain traits and attitudes that make some people more suited for running successful small businesses than others.
According to Bamkole, most entrepreneurs believe that they control their destinies; they refuse to be at the mercy of others or of events. As a result, they take the initiative in starting projects and getting ideas off the ground. But that may not be all.
Recent studies conducted by the Bank of Montreal Institute for Small Business show that the six success factors for starting a small business include self-motivation, business and industry knowledge, organisation and management capabilities, good marketing skills, customer/vendor relations and vision.

Bamkole adds that the knowledge of the business and the industry should be on the top list of requirements for success in small businesses by anyone desiring to go into such. He notes that a lack of knowledge is one of the prime reasons why so many new businesses fail.

He also says that it is important to develop expertise in business planning, money management, people management, directing business operations and sales and marketing operations directing.

He says, "Investing the time to learn the skills you need before you start your own business is especially wise because once you have decided to put so much energy into starting a small business, you are going to want it to develop into a viable, thriving enterprise. Sadly, there is a great percentage of small businesses that starts up each year that survives less than two years."

A consultant with Small Business Development Initiative, Mrs. Kikelomo Johnson, says that once the decision has been made on what kind of business to run and the location, the next step is to begin working on your business plan.
According to Johnson, writing a well thought-out and organised business plan dramatically increases the chances of the business owner succeeding as an entrepreneur, adding that running or starting a business without a business plan 'is like wondering in the dark.'
She adds that having a business plan is also essential as it will present the owner of the business as a serious-minded person. According to her, it may also assist such entrepreneurs in their attempt to source for funding.