Birth control practices

Written by Dr Sylvester Ikhisemojie - The Punch, Nigeria.

Sylvester Ikhisemojie

In much of Africa today, there is a burgeoning population made possible by explosive birth rates and the endurance of a majority youthful population. This has many evident positive advantages, not the least of which is the presence of a virile population of people in the productive age group.

The obverse in the problem here is that feeding this large population and finding adequate jobs for the large population will remain a challenge well into the twenty first century. It therefore means that efforts must now be made from this time forwards, in all countries of the region, to slow the rate of population growth to more manageable, more sustainable levels.

As a result, it is incumbent on health authorities throughout the region to teach women of all socio-economic groups about the immense benefits of birth control and child spacing. It is because of all these interwoven facts that issues of contraception and other efforts at birth control must now be examined and propagated.

While birth control and contraception do not necessarily mean the same thing, both of them are geared towards controlling the appearance of unwanted pregnancies. This is because it is possible to engage in birth control without engaging any means of contraception to achieve this aim. Our focus today must therefore centre on birth control. With this clarification, it can be seen that birth control practices will not always involve the use of means, devices and medications to avoid pregnancy occurring but can in fact be achieved naturally by following the natural rhythm of the body itself.

This means that birth control and contraception make up what is known as family planning. As a result, it is important for us to examine some of these methods.

Ovarian cysts

Written by Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie - Nigeria

Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie 

This is one problem that is not always a disease. Ovarian cysts develop in many women who do not even realise that they have them. The reason for this is that at about the period of menstruation, the ovary which has released a follicle, the very structure that is responsible for fertility occurring, would have developed such a swelling. Many of these cysts would regress on their own causing the woman no harm at all, and no obvious signs.

What often makes a woman become aware of these problems is the fact of having some difficulty with getting pregnant or frank infertility. It is thus an important topic for many women.

In all normal women, the ovary is a part of the reproductive system located in the pelvis. There is also the uterus, fallopian tubes and vagina. None is able to guarantee a pregnancy without the other and all must work in tandem to bring a pregnancy about. As a result, there is a point at which an ovarian cyst passes from a harmless growth into a problem. The usually harmless swellings mentioned above are things which would usually resolve on their own. This is the story all through the child-bearing years during which a follicle is released into the adjacent fallopian tube for onward transportation into the uterus, about once a month.

This describes the normal menstrual cycle. With modern ultrasound machines, this activity can be monitored and timed precisely so that those couples who have challenges with fertility can be advised accurately about when to try for a conception, failing which the timing is seen as equally vital to be successful in assisted reproductive efforts.

If a follicle develops and fails to release its egg into the fallopian tube, it can form a cyst which should disappear within a few weeks at the most. Sometimes, a different kind of cyst forms after a follicle has been released. This is called a corpus luteum cyst. Such cysts bleed a bit into a cavity in the pelvic region and would cause some pain for several days that are not usually serious. The pain and the spilled blood tend to resolve spontaneously.

Why people have bad breath in the morning -Study

Written by Tunde Ajaja- Nigeria. 

When it comes to personal hygiene, apart from body odour, there are a few other things that can be as repulsive as having a bad breath, or simply put, mouth odour. Even the sound of it is distasteful, and not only does the smell nauseates, it goes ahead to present such a person in bad light, giving a vivid impression of a dirty human being. It could sometimes make the individual a lone ranger as people try to avoid such persons.

But as disgusting as bad breath is, it is amazing to find that most people experience it every time they wake up; mostly in the morning. It is also known as halitosis. In fact, it could be as repulsive to the owner of the mouth, not to even talk of others. Noteworthy is the fact that this case is independent of the chronic mouth odour, the product of which could make the listener (victim) puke.

Therefore, it is not uncommon to find that when people wake up in the morning, they tend to avoid close contact discussion, or better still maintain some distance or even cover their mouth while talking to others. The simplest cure would be to have a toothbrush. It could cure it all, only if done properly.

An expert in dental matters and periodontist, Sally Cram, said, "Everyone has morning breath to some degree. Here is the simple reason why: When you sleep, your mouth dries out and your normal flow of saliva decreases. When your mouth dries out, odour-producing bacteria multiply. That is why your breath can be worse in the morning."

However, for those who do not have mouth odour but wake up to find that they have bad breath, studies have shown that the trend is basically traceable to the fact that when a person is asleep, the mouth also goes into rest mode, leading to a drop in the rate of metabolic activities. And this form of bad breath is not limited to aftermath of waking up, it also happens when people close their mouth for too long without opening it.

I’m suspicious of my wife

Written by KEMI ASHEFON - PUNCH, Nigeria

Dear Kemi,

I am in my mid 30s and married to a woman, who is of same age for about five years. I am based abroad while she is in Nigeria. The problem I am having is that I just don’t trust her and I always feel she is sleeping around. Really, I don’t have any concrete proof for my suspicions but it has always been there. This was from the beginning of our courtship before I left the country and returned from my base outside Nigeria to marry her. When I told her about my suspicions, she denied all the allegations and always had ready-made answers to every question. Sometimes, I wonder if I was charmed into marrying her. Is this normal? Please, help, I am really troubled.

A.K, 

Lagos

Since you have not caught her with any man or got reports from anyone about your wife, I think you have to dismantle the mind-set of infidelity in you. In any relationship, especially where the two partners are not living together in the same place, there are cases of suspicions and rumours. It is now left for those involved to be determined to make the relationship work. Why not learn to trust your wife? Or are there things you have not divulged to me? That you even feel you were charmed into marrying her is wrong and could cause cracks in your home. Give her the benefit of the doubt and stop accusing her. I have discovered in most relationships, infidelity could spring up from unnecessary accusations. A faithful partner could be encouraged to have affairs when accusations abound. Trust is a vital virtue in marriage, do all you can to inculcate it in yours. But this should not stop any form of inquiries when you get suspicious of your partner.

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I was jilted for eight years now…

I was in love with a lady some years back but she left me for another man. Now, eight years after, she is back and begging me to marry her. But I am now married with two kids. I am so confused. What do I do?

P.O

Benue

I don’t see why you should be confused on a matter like this. Are you driving away your wife and children to start life with her? Even if you do, what is the assurance that she will not run away again with another man? I believe you should hold on to your wife and children. Don’t fall prey to a philandering woman’s wits. She is like a serpent, she will always bite. Tell her you are no longer interested in her and that you are happily married with kids. Don’t give her audience again and never entertain her calls.

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Another man took my baby

I am 29 years old and dated a 26-year-old girl for over four years. We planned having a proper wedding by December. Last year, she told me she was pregnant. According to her, she was raped at a party she attended and I accepted the pregnancy due to the love I had for her. I was taken to her parents to be introduced and was even asked to come for a formal ceremony after the baby was born. My girlfriend told me that the man who raped and impregnated her was dead and had not been found.

How to detect sexuality challenge early

Written by  FUNMI AKINGBADE - Nigeria
Email: CAFI.PUNCH@YAHOO.COM

 FUNMI AKINGBADE

One of the many challenges of a sincere loving and faithful couple is the inadequate exposure to knowledge at the appropriate time. Before their marriage, many couples are clueless about one or two sexual abnormalities in their bodies and because they were not practising premarital sex, they just assume that all is well. Inasmuch as premarital sex is not being encouraged or aided, it is wise for individuals to carry out some screenings at the very early stage of their existence.

Parents should take their children for prenatal examinations so as to detect early any sex and sexuality abnormalities in them. Many communicable diseases that may lead to impotency, erectile dysfunction and frigidity in women and some ill-reproductive conditions could be detected at this stage. Even parents should count taking their children to the hospital for sexual organs examination and screening as part of healthy growing up plans. It is paramount for young adults to frequently screen or examine themselves against sexually-transmitted diseases, undescended testes, HIV/AIDS infection, absence of testes, obstruction of the sperm pipe, abnormal penis growths, abnormal colouration of the penis, abnormal function of the penis, abnormal libido presentation and so on for the men. While for the young lady, it is very important for her to screen against cervical cancer, cervical incompetency, all abnormalities of the womb, all abnormalities of the ovary, fallopian tubes, all hormonal imbalance or malfunctions, all libidoral abnormalities and also frigidity levels.

The breast is a vital sex organ; it should be examined frequently. Ladies should watch out for discolouration, growth, lump, dimple, discharges of any kind such as fluid, pus, oil even as early as age 12 or even lesser. According to researches, it has been discovered that men and women who have the privilege of early exposure to good screening and medical examination always have better, easier and treatable case invariably making them fulfilled married partners in later years than those who do not.

Care of the teeth

Written by Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie - Nigeria

Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie

Many people in this part of the world do not give a hoot about the routine care that their teeth deserve not to mention the overall care of the mouth. However, what many should recognise is that the appearance of the teeth and the absence of any unpleasant smells from the mouth are important attributes of a healthy personality. That appearance is not any different or less important than any other aspect of health which we have treated on this page over the past two years. It is that realisation that has prompted this essay this week. Here then are some of the most important aspects of that kind of care that should be considered.

The development of plaques is the most common dental problem to afflict the majority of people. Plaques develop within some thirty minutes of eating a meal. The bacteria that inhabit the mouth soon move in to degrade and alter the composition of the food particles that are left behind in the mouth soon after eating, turning them into the early building blocks for the hard tables of substance that are laid over the teeth. As a result of this realisation, no one should eat a meal without rinsing the mouth copiously with water afterwards. This helps a lot to deal with the initial material that is laid down on them. The immediate cleaning of the mouth should be a deliberate process, not to be hurried at all because it is so important. As for those people whose dental arrangement is the sort that leaves them with gaps between the teeth which trap food particles and meat, for example, they should deploy the use of tooth-picks to get rid of the nuisance.

Sometimes, even the use of this instrument is not enough to do this and other means have to be employed. Some people, if they are still at home, would employ their tooth-brushes to deal with this. Occasionally, this also fails thus promoting the usage of some more desperate measures that could even harm the gums. Some people would use pins. Others would use strings of cotton, such as twines, deployed like pulleys that are pulled across the gap to dislodge the offending piece of food. The well-healed in the society would use a dental floss for this nuisance. This should not be their preserve, however, because dental floss is cheap and very available. With immense surprise, I have found that not many people have even heard about them, not to mention use them. The dental floss is a plastic hook with a cotton cord linking its two closest arms in a way that resembles a guitar. The plastic end can always be deployed to into corners to remove food particles, while the string can be placed between teeth in even closely apposed teeth to get rid of those materials. It is a good habit to use the dental floss once a day, and to do so especially before brushing the teeth in the mornings so that the fluoride in the toothpaste is able to reach the deep recesses between the teeth.

The brushing of the teeth is another good habit which should be done twice a day ideally. It is properly done with up and down strokes, rather than across the teeth, and should be done for at least two or three minutes to ensure proper cleaning. The tongue and the roof of the mouth should also be brushed to ensure complete all-round cleaning.

Why the vagina may itch

Written by Sylvester Ikhisemojie - Nigeria

Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie

The vagina is a sacred place that should be treated with respect and with kid gloves. It is a woman's most intimate possession and in the course of life undergoes many different changes. During the reproductive years, it is especially most liable to sustain some damage and this should be no surprise when it is considered as the main organ that allows a normal delivery to take place. Think, therefore, of the large mass of new lives that must somehow pass through that narrow passage, a major reason why it should be handled with care.

One of the early manifestations of this lack of adequate care for the genital area is manifested by an itchy vagina. The symptoms of such discomfort are itching and an unpleasant feeling down below. It varies a lot from the mild form of itching to the very profound type such that a sufferer may be compelled to scratch the groin so furiously that injuries might even be sustained. Young women and undergraduates have various names for this malady and these vary from "craw-craw," "sweetie" to "akwari quata". These names are very strange but they are also an attempt to hide the embarrassment associated with having the condition.

Not every woman moves around with an itchy vagina. It is nevertheless, an irritating problem which a few women would ignore while others would seek treatment for. It is important to begin to take seriously any itching in the vagina that lasts for more than two days. It should be attended to sooner if there is an associated vaginal discharge. This usually would mean that there is an added infection, usually caused by bacteria, and so there should not be a doubt of the need to have a doctor examine it and have a prescription. These are not issues for which an individual should simply go to a chemist and bug some medications across the counter but one in which it is wise to see a doctor, pharmacist or a nurse for the required advice. In most situations, it is wise to have a swab taken and analysed in a laboratory for a better kind of information that would guide the treatment. Very often, a vaginal infection leading to itching would be caused by a mixed infection.

Some women are able to manage their itch with tact and style. For others, it is so bad that all inhibitions are dispensed with and such people can be seen beside the road scratching away. Others are more circumspect and would do so behind a wall where they assume no one is looking, in a toilet or in the privacy of their cars. Others would engage in more frequent sex in the wrong assumption that the blunt end of the penis would do less physical harm but still do the scratching. These are only temporary solutions; the real basis of treatment in all cases is in determining what has led to the itching. Often times, only the labia are involved. At other times, the itching is within the vagina. In other cases, both parts of the organ are involved.

The use of perfumed or scented soaps and powders are some of the most common causes of suffering from an itchy vulva. This is known technically as pruritus vulvae. It is associated with such itching that it has to be scratched, causing some injuries as already discussed above and thus making the skin in that area vulnerable to bacterial infection. That makes it a vicious cycle of sorts, another important reason to avoid doing such practices altogether. The use of scented pant liners is similarly harmful, not to mention the uninformed practice of douching. One of the most common causes of this annoying phenomenon is the choice of the wrong fabric for the underwear. Using synthetic fabric for your underwear, such as nylon pants and other similar materials, trap moisture like sweat and secretions between the edges of the clothing and the skin. The skin then becomes vulnerable to infection which starts the itching or makes it worse.

Another cause of this problem is Candida, a yeast infection that is common in a majority of women. It is so common that it would be seen in as many as 75 per cent of all women at some point in their lives. The common causes would range from some of the issues mentioned above to pregnancy and diseases like steroid therapy and diabetes. The common feature of this infection is severe itching which is associated with a thick, white, odourless discharge. When you see this combination, it is time to see your doctor for the appropriate tests and treatment. Attempts to do self-medication, as many women in this environment engage in, often fail to resolve the issues because the experience of another woman is what is relied upon to obtain the drugs. As symptoms may be similar even in different conditions, failure and persistence become the problem.

It may be time to accept Marijuana

Written by Sylvester Ikhisemojie - Nigeria

Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie

The spectre of decriminalising various things that we have become used to viewing as abnormal may finally be upon us. In many Western nations, there is a raging debate over the pros and cons of uplifting such a ban on this particular substance. For one, there is no objective evidence that its use contributes significantly to an upswing in crime. There is no evidence either that it is always subject to abuse. In many local farming and mining communities in Latin America, the plants are grown as normally as we grow the bitter-leaf plant here at home, and leaves are abundant in the countryside. As a result, the product is consumed openly in its raw form in those places. The same happens for coca leaves from which cocaine is derived. But let us limit the arguments to Marijuana and agree about its effects on our social relationships. In many places, marijuana is called different names. Some call it 'weed.' Others call it 'gbana.' Yet others call it 'grass' and some still call it 'hashish.' Among the youths, 'igbo' is the preferred name while in urbane circles; the name is properly called cannabis or Indian hemp.

The botanical name is Cannabis sativa and its active agent is Tetrahydrocannabinol, an extract that is in use as a psychoactive substance and is also believed to expand the mind. It is not for nothing that this particular substance has, therefore, not met with the necessary approval in many circles. It is believed that its consumption would lead to an increase in various criminal acts and so is by its nature, an antisocial object. The evidence does not bear this out. In the Netherlands, where there has long being a programme like this where there are recreational bars in which marijuana is a part of the menu, there has been no spike in crime from 1978, when the experiment began, till date. In fact, there was an increase in tourism as a result of this liberalisation with many young people seeking to experience the opportunity to legally smoke hashish.

Now of course, there is talk of recreational marijuana, not any different from the drinking of beer and stout. Not to mention the routine consumption of brandy, vodka and other spirits with far more profound effects on the society.

The main producers of marijuana come from several different continents. It is a flowering plant produced in Afghanistan, Pakistan, China, India, Thailand, Lebanon, Turkey, the Netherlands, Spain, Jamaica, Colombia, Mexico, the US, Canada, and Morocco. It is likely also, that Nigeria would be a significant producer of this commodity.

Decriminalising it ensures a transparent trade in it thus positioning it to become yet a significant foreign exchange earner for the nation. Different variants of the plant are also processed to make ropes and hashish oil which are used in various industries. Ropes are often processed from an abundance of fibre known to be produced by other variants of the cannabis plant. Its fibre was one of the first recorded natural suture materials used in surgery. Without the knowledge gained from that early use, much of modern surgery would not have been the way it is today.

The teenager and the challenges of sexual pressure

Written by Funmi Akingbade - Nigeria

Funmi Akingbade

A good percentage of our teens and young adults today are under the siege of sexual pressure. Many willing teens and young adults easily give in to the pressure of sex and not because they actually bargained for it or were in full support of the sexual experiencing they were having. But it has been discovered that lack of good parenting and mentorship have led many of our young stars into undue negative early sexual exposure and disaster.

Parents and guardians, in a bid to balance business and parenthood, fail in their responsibilities towards these young ones.

The negative media influences (Internet) cannot be over emphasised. It is from the internet these teens and young stars are polluted as many of our teens get hooked to porn sites as early as age 10 and sometimes below. Masturbation, pornography, sex chatting have now become the order of the day among these teens. It is from internet that these young ones are pressured into bad gangs, sexual perversion etc. Research has shown that many sexual activities are pre-programme into all children's games, phones, ipad, iphones, Facebook dating etc. Then again, the violence-saturated media leads to the ever-increasing acceptance of violence among our young adults.

I am of the opinion that parents and guardians should do a bit more on sex education than they have done. Then, we would be able to salvage our teens and young adults from this impending sexual disaster.

But the greatest challenge is actually how to start this sex education.

Many well-meaning parents want to know the best approach they can adopt with their teenagers when they want to introduce and discuss sex and sexuality with them. Talking to your teenage child about sex and puberty can be quite challenging as some parents even avoid the topic completely because they are ignorant of their teens budding maturity, exposure and even the extent of what he or she knows already.

Others have the concern that talking about sex and their teens' body change would lead to early experimentation. Some other parents hesitate to start the conversation out of unnecessary fears, as such, leaving their teens to chances. I think it is not safe for parents to leave children to chances while wishing all would be well. Why not effect the changes you want to see in them?

A sex therapist expert says sex education is easier passed to the male teen than the female teen. This is the more reason a teen girl should be taught way ahead of her male counterpart. As soon as a girl- child reaches puberty, you should not delay discussing sex and puberty any longer. Many teens turn to friends and the media to get answers, much of which may be way off base. You might be surprised to know that although teens report getting most of their ­­information from the above two sources, the number one source they would wish they could go to with questions is 'you,' their parents.

Uncharted subtle medium to good sex

Written by Funmi Akingbade

Funmi Akingbade

Hi husband, when actually was the last time you just laid back and kept your hands off your wife while letting her show you the way to pleasure her best? And you wife, when was the last time you lavishly abandoned yourself on the bed and tell your man to come and show you the stuff he is made of when it comes to sexual surprises?

Today, we are going to learn all about total abandonment that can make an ordinary wife whisper the 'unusual' and an ordinary husband ask for more from his wife. A really good starter script for letting the other take the lead during sex is simply to try and eat together. This is one explorative gateway so many couples ignore. It is true that the couple that eats together sleeps together. Eating together is like giving your partner a love potion, because a delicious meal can be a prelude to sex. The act of cooking together can be a form of foreplay, and the smell of food can ignite intimacy especially when couples eat some aphrodisiacs food items together.

Certain natural love potions otherwise known as edible aphrodisiacs, can reignite, spark, and turn up the heat in couples' sexuality by improving blood flow to the genitals, enhancing performance and pleasure and ultimately, put the couple in the mood for lovemaking.

Some couples have found out that fruits such as bananas, coffee, cucumbers and carrots, speak for themselves on that score.

Avocado is called "testicle trees." Then again, newlyweds are mostly encouraged to drink honey wine and water melon during the first month of marriage to improve their sexual stamina. That is why 'honeymoon' came from the word 'honey'.

Garlic is rich in antioxidants that protect against cell damage. Garlic is said to stir sexual desire and increase blood flow to the genitals.

Also, research has shown that the aroma of local popcorn induces blood flow to the penis, and the combination of cucumber and coconut make some women ready for sex.

Of course, if you want better sex, take care of your health! Being overweight may deflate your spouse's libido. Extra body fat raises the spectre of elevated blood glucose levels that can damage the blood vessels and nerves that allow for arousal and sexual pleasure. It also increases the risk of high blood pressure and clogged arteries.

Upon menopause, women lose 90 per cent of their circulating oestrogen, which may result in less blood flowing to the genitals and diminished capacity for arousal. Body fat offers some protection, because, like the woman's ovaries, it produces oestrogen.

Another trick that could do the magic in your sexual lives is sending some romantic and erotic text messages while at work or somewhere far away from home. Messages such as; 'I'm just thinking about you right now and I am not only full of some sexual surprises for you, I want to go down with you' or 'hurry back and come to where your heart is, I can't wait to have all of you inside me', can go a long way to make your spouse crave to have you. And while at home, when you are certain the coast is clear and the environment is favourable, start off sexual exploration by saying what you dream of and what you would love to take place between both of you. Tell each other what you are going to do to each other in a very low sexy seductive voice. Or you can subtly whisper, 'I love and enjoy passionate sex with you', 'come kiss me and undress me', 'the feel of your breast in my hands is the best erotic feeling I always have'. Many husbands are eagerly waiting to hear something hot and seductive like, 'I love the feel of this please don't stop', or 'Ooh, I need you inside me, you are always the best.' Then try describing your feelings and sensations, like, 'Mmm, you taste so good' or 'Ahhh… You feel so good pressed up against my body, are we repeating this soon?'

Researchers say words such as, 'come inside me', 'don't go, I want more of this', 'your rod satisfies me fully' and so on, turn husbands on faster than anything. Words are powerful, especially seductive and erotic sexy words. Try some tonight.

My wife sleeps around

I am in my early 40s and got married to a woman in her mid 30s about eight years ago. We have three children. After our marriage, we lived apart for a year. This was because I was in the North due to my job, while she had her youth service in Lagos. I never had any affair throughout this period because I had made a vow not to be involved in such after marriage; rather, I visited her regularly. But I discovered that she had been cheating on me from the early days of our marriage. She dated my former classmate, who was a driver in her office. Already, the paternity of our first child is in doubt. Now, I work in Abuja, she is in Lagos, but I have decided not to risk visiting home regularly since that would not change anything- She still sleeps with other men and keeps denying whenever I asked her and this led me to also sleep with other women. Really, I am not happy because I never wanted to live this kind of life as a Christian. She complained that I have stopped being a good Christian. My love for her had reduced so as to avoid hypertension. Moreover, I discovered that my wife is sexually insatiable. Could she be a nymphomaniac? I am confused on what could have caused her infidelity.

P.O, 

Abuja

Adultery robs both partners of certain marital blessings and both suffer the risk of crashing the marriage. I understand your feeling of betrayal but you should not have reciprocated by being unfaithful too. I think the first step in solving this issue is having a heart-to-heart talk with your wife. Let her know your discoveries including the doubtful paternity of your first son. You need not quarrel; let her know you are ready to forgive as long as she is ready to change. Meanwhile, you should not have kept quiet for so long without consulting your parents-in-law. They would have cautioned her before she went this far. But why can't the whole family live and work together in Abuja? Living apart is not too good for you, your wife or your children. You can also work on that aspect to ensure more family bonding. As a Christian family, know that God's intention is for you to be happily married and you can enforce it by prayers.

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I've aborted five times, now he no longer calls me

I am 22 years and I am dating a guy, who I love. I have aborted five pregnancies for him in the last four years and I almost lost my life when I had the last one. Now, he has changed and no longer calls; even whenever I call, he is always cold. What do I do because I love him and would not want to lose him?

M.O

Lagos

The right sexual gestures

Written by Funmi Akingbade - Nigeria

 Funmi Akingbade

One of the major challenges facing a typical today's couple is how to send the right gesture and get the best of their spouse when it comes to sexual fulfillment. As much as many couples want sexual harmony, the hold of culture, norms and tradition is a major inhibition. Do you want to put your lover in the same sexual frequency signal you are in right now? Well, it will help to communicate the fact that you want sex sooner than later to your mate, in a way that will get him or her as fired up as you are. There is one major undeniable fact, both men and women love to feel lusted after, and many get an erotic jolt just from hearing their partner confess that they are 'on heat' for their lover. Many wives are dying to hear their husbands say they look so sexy even after many child-births.

To many spouses, especially the ladies, the idea of just 'ordering' her to bed and demanding for conjugal right may drain every sexual feeling for the next few weeks. A husband that is under pressure to meet up with some official, financial, health or marital challenges may never respond to repetitive nagging from the wife over the fact that he is neglecting his sexual responsibility. A better and wiser approach can just be a whispering into your partner's ear that he or she is incredibly sexy, looking good, best wife of the year, incomparable husband and you want desperately to get him or her naked.... Just say something you are certain he or she will NEVER resist. Please don't trouble yourself thinking about how he or she would take such words. That is why you have to make it a habit to know your spouse. The better you know your partner, the more likely you will hit the right notes. Those words with well-executed touching and tantalising visual signals should be able to create a sizzling and heavy atmosphere.

Do not jump to sex immediately but watch how your partner responds to your advances. This will help give you a clue as to whether they are good to go, or need some time to get there. If they pull away or stop your hands, you know they need to be seduced more slowly. You don't have to be aggressive; seducing playfully but blatantly and deliberately can be very effective. Planning and executing sexual ambush with a loving attitude heap loads of sexual satisfaction on either party.

Cleft lip and cleft palate

Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie

Written by Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie

This is a developmental anomaly involving the face and nose which occurs very early during a pregnancy. It is one of the most common birth defects seen in new-borns and it refers to a deep defect occurring in a ridge between the nose and the mouth such that it is often deep enough to involve the floor of the nostril. This is known as a cleft lip. It may occur on one side of the face or the two sides. When the two sides are involved, it gives a baby the appearance of a big cat often referred in the past to as a "hare lip". That suggests a closer resemblance to a rabbit but it is a term that has now been discarded because it is considered offensive. 

Sometimes, this defect involves the palate in which the deep groove may also involve the floor of the nose. This is thus known as a cleft palate. Either of these problems may occur alone or together. Sometimes, it affects the centre of the face extending from one nose to the middle of the upper lip. It is a range of defects that a baby may be born with as a result of certain factors which make it impossible for the various plates of tissue that form the face to meet perfectly in their designated places. The result of that failure to integrate properly is what we are talking about this week. The cause is not known.

Cleft lip is described when the split in the lip does not affect the palate in the roof of the mouth. It may be complete or incomplete but the approach to its repair either way is the same. It can occur separately from a cleft palate because they develop separately. When the palate is cleft, the uvula in the centre of the throat may also be split in two. It assures a direct connection between the mouth and the nose.

Q & A: She lured me into sex

Written by Kemi Ashefon - Punch, Nigeria

I am 32 and I met a girl when she came for training in my office. I never had any feeling for her during the three months. Suddenly, a mysterious affair just started and she lured me into having sex with her anywhere and even forcefully on my office chair! She stopped coming to the office for training but I continued with her like a drunk. I must have been under an influence but I came to my senses, fought with her and called off the affair after two months and two weeks. I thought she was out of my life but she sent her sister's husband to beg me and a month later, she told me that she was pregnant. I never denied paternity. That was six months ago. Honestly, I don't love her and she is not my taste in everything. In fact, I hate her but they are trying to force her on me. She is like a stigma in my life. Help! What do I do?

M.H,

Lagos.

We all have to pay for our actions. You slept with her and even agreed the pregnancy is yours, so where are you running to? I think you should make your point known to this lady and her family- you can have the baby when it's born but let them have the lady. Mind you, you have to take care of her and her baby by sending money and other items. On the other hand, you could have a second thought and marry her but with this feeling of yours, she won't be happy. Never marry out of pity. It is a pointer to a divorce in future.

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Loneliness as a new disease

Written by Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie

Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie

Old age is one fraught with a lot of challenges in every society. Many people are plagued by chronic ailments such as obesity, hypertension and diabetes. Others suffer from other ailments like arthritis, dementia, tuberculosis and cancer. Many of such people are frequently brought from the village to stay with their younger relatives in the towns and cities where they are also able to assess better medical care.

In the western world, such people are taken to stay in hospices, homes for the elderly and sanatoriums. Here in Nigeria, they are taken in by their extended family so as to feel the warmth of close family relationships.

However, as the wheel of human progress finally turns decisively towards the African continent, there is an increase in the cases of elderly people who are abandoned to their fate. They are left alone in the villages or even now in the cities as their sons and daughters become too busy, too career-conscious and too ambitious to have any time for them. In some cases, an entire brood has emigrated abroad, leaving the elderly man or woman at the mercy of more distant relatives.

Their children abroad send money to them at home,but without a live-in helper, they are often at the mercy of unscrupulous people and, in some cases, neighbours. Increasingly, there are reports of occasional wrong-doing and even murder being perpetrated by usually unknown persons in such circumstances with grief for all the relatives ensuing.

Effects of alcohol usage

Written by Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie - Nigeria

Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie

This is a matter of increasing concern to many governments, non-governmental organisations and physicians around the world, not to mention people in the law enforcement community. In many of such nations, the sale and use of alcohol is strictly enforced. In many pubs in the United Kingdom, there are usually clear warnings that the sale of even the mildest kinds of alcohol must not be to those who are less than 18 years of age. It is somewhat more liberal in Scandinavia but such regulations are more or less the same in the United States and Canada.

That is not to say that breaches do not occur, but these occur more in default than being the norm. In major Muslim nations, there are sometimes specific elements of law enforcement that are charged with the regulation of this requirement. In our country, unfortunately, regulations often exist on paper. Beer and other alcoholic beverages are sold freely to all those who have the ability to pay for such drinks. No questions are asked and no answers are given. It is a largely silent market between the buyer and the shop owner; the buyer offers money after stating what he wants and the request is fulfilled with no fuss.

We do ourselves enormous harm though. Alcohol is, without question, not altogether bad. It is even beneficial when it is taken moderately on a regular basis. Just one wine-glass full of the fluid is regarded as a safe amount. It is harmful in a wide variety of ways when taken in large amounts over time. Our business today is to explore what these injuries entail and how they come about. It is important to note that the use of and the abuse of alcohol has been with mankind for ages. Alcohol has also undergone progressive refinement over the ages and there are now many distinct types of this beverage.

Where legal limits have been imposed on the strength and availability of various forms of alcohol, ingenious people have formulated their own local brew. As a result, many have often died from alcohol poisoning. Incidents such as this have happened around the world, including India, Pakistan, Nigeria, Kenya and South Africa. In Nigeria, there are strong local brews known as Burukutu, Pinto, Sapele Water, Akpeteshi and Ogogoro. None of these enjoys any form of regulated production so that in addition to their toxic nature, the unhygienic mode of production confers on them some inherent dangers. These strong drinks, rich in ethanol concentration, often lead to tragedy. They cause breathing problems, when taken in large amounts, unconsciousness and death. Very often, death results especially when young men decide to compete with the aim of determining who would be the last person standing. Some end up in the hospital but those are the lucky ones. Many others die from ethanol poisoning.

Sex after forty, can it be better all the time?

Written by Funmi Akingbade -PUNCH, Nigeria

Many couples start experiencing a form of major shift sexually as age tells on them, and they get worried, discouraged and even depressed when they are becoming weaker as they age.

As men advance in age, they may experience a slower erection process. The muscle contractions during orgasm may not be as intense but they're still pleasurable. Although it generally takes longer to ejaculate, ejaculation needs not occur every time. But the benefit of this is that it helps the man to have a better staying power, which allows for more prolonged lovemaking. Also after menopause, many women sometimes find it more difficult to become lubricated. The vaginal tissue may become thin, caused by a loss of oestrogen and intercourse may be painful. But notwithstanding, many women find out they are more sensitive to touch as they grow older and are more easily aroused.

Most people who have had good sex continue to have it until they are hit by a troublesome ailment. You don't have to assume that you must give up sex as a result of age-related health problems such as arthritis, backaches, muscle pain. All you have to do is discuss any debilitating disorders with your family doctor and also a sex therapist and learn to work around them. For instance, if a wife suffers from thinning skin in the vagina due to menopause and old age, she and her husband should make sure that she inserts the penis just to avoid being hut unintentionally. If your body, energy level and interests change, don't cling to established sexual patterns. You and your spouse should experiment with new ways of satisfying each other, including new positions. A sex therapist can be helpful.

Sexual problems that occur with aging are more often psychological than physical. People think getting older isn't "sexy" or that "nobody has sex at my age."

Once you start thinking that it is inappropriate to be sexually active, you stop taking responsibility for your sex life, and you cut yourself off from the enjoyment of sex.

Many people recall their sexuality at puberty and (unwisely) use this as their sexual norm. Important: The only "norm" is whatever is right for you at a particular time in your life. Don't assume that one disappointing day means you're "too old to do it anymore" and panicking. The greater the panic, the worse it gets. Men become impotent and women are unable to reach orgasm. Result: They avoid sex altogether.

Sexual satisfaction depends on your overall relationship with your spouse and this is much more important than most couples think.

For instance, if you are bored with your spouse, it is unlikely that he/she will excite you.

If your sex life begins to falter, ask yourself why you are turning yourself off. People rarely are turned off by outside factors; they usually do it to themselves.

Good way to turn yourself on again: Make a list. Using age as an excuse to avoid facing problems will get you nowhere.