Bizzare things some women do for love

~The SUN Nigeria. Sunday, April 29, 2018.


This is the most chilling message I have ever received via email. Someone sent it to me, highlighting how he abused, humiliated and tormented a lady who showed him nothing but love and loyalty.

The message reads: “I met her when she was 24 years old and she fell in love with me. She was gainfully employed. I am four years older than her and I also work.

She never turns down any of my requests, including anal sex even when she can’t stand the pain, neither does she argue with me. She would rather cry or be withdrawn. With that attitude, I saw her as a weak woman who has no mind of her own. Everything I said was right.

She has her own apartment and only visits me when I invite her. She does all my laundry and cleaning, including ironing my clothes on weekends. I am mostly nice when I want her to do my chores or have sex with her, after then, I treat her like garbage.

To her, I was her man, but to me, she was just one of those girls I keep around to help tidy my house and quench my sexual urge for free.

She never asks me for money in whatever guise, though I try to buy her gifts sometimes. Even when I give her money for grocery, I know she spends more of her money in the market and she makes all kinds of soups for me. She is such a fantastic cook and that was the reason I kept her around.

Men versus Prostate: Prostate cancer - What to avoid eating

On this issue:

• Every man needs to know about prostate cancer
• Prostate cancer: What to avoid eating
• Early symptoms of prostate cancer
• Know the early symptoms of prostate cancer
• How to prevent prostate problems
• Prostate cancer is curable if detected early
• To beat prostate cancer, have more sex

_____________________________________________

Every man needs to know about prostate cancer
Written by Oladapo Ashiru
~PUNCH NIGERIA. Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Written by Oladapo Ashiru

Did you know that one man dies from prostate cancer every hour? I bet you were not aware of the fact that over 40,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer every year. It means that more than 100 men are diagnosed every day.
It is estimated that by 2030, prostate cancer will be the most common cancer in the world. One in eight men will be afflicted with prostate cancer
In Nigeria, every now and then you hear of someone who just died of prostate cancer. This disease occurs most frequently in elderly men of 72 years and above.

Although we are not keeping statistics for the number of new cases and deaths in Nigeria for this preventable disease, the American example is relevant for us because there are significant racial differences that are negative for the African male.
For example, for the African American male aged between 50 and 54 years, the incidence of prostate cancer is two times as high as the Caucasian American and it is one third higher for the African American of all ages.

For all Asian men, the incidence of this type of cancer is relatively low. It is not known what causes this racial difference, but genetics must surely play a part.
Diet is a major another factor that cannot be ruled out as African American food closely mimics many Nigerian diets of pork, beans and greens cooked with plenty of oil and fat. This is, therefore, a Black man's disease that Nigerian men should be concerned about.
The prostate gland is a walnut-sized organ located under the bladder, surrounding the urinary tract of men. It secretes a fluid that forms part of the seminal fluid, which is part of the semen produced at ejaculation after intercourse.

Prostate cancer is primarily a disease of the aged. So as men age, they should take note of the following symptoms and if they have them, they should definitely pay a visit to a doctor.
Slow urination: Men should take this symptom seriously, especially when the last few drops do not expel easily. You should also let the doctor check you out if you notice any change in urination as described below:
Frequent urination is another symptom of prostate cancer. Other symptoms include:
Nocturia, which is passing urine in the night.
Difficulty in passing urine, termed Hesitancy.
Reduced force of urination.
Reduced projectile pressure of urine (ejaculatory pressure).
Blood in the urine.

What causes the prostate to enlarge
Aging, stress, chemical toxins that may be from the use of chemical products like dye, polluted water, and contaminated food, especially with heavy metals; genetics and infection have been identified as some of the factors that can lead to the enlargement of the prostate gland. With aging, there are hormonal changes associated with getting older, such as decreased production of the male testosterone, prolactin ad stress- related hormone will increase with age.

Enhance libido, curb arthritis with bitter kola

Topics:
- Benefits, side effects of bitter kola
-  Enhance libido, curb arthritis with bitter kola
___________________________________

Benefits, side effects of bitter kola
Mavcure.com
~Punch Nigeria. Monday, June 12, 2017.

Garcinia kola or in simple terms, bitter kola originated from West and Central Africa. Signifying the importance of this second largest continent, it produces many healing wonders for us.

Garcinia kola belongs to the species of a tropical flowering plant. It produces brown, nut like seeds, similar looking to kidney beans.

Medicinal benefits

Lungs, the internal organ carry one of the most critical functions of the body. It helps us to breath.

The considerate amount of regular consumption of the seed helps in strengthening the fibers and the lung tissue, stabilising any counter effects.

It further assists in maintaining a good respiratory track and treats chest colds. It has a favorably high antioxidant content for a healthy body.

So, if you are a smoker or even a passive smoker, definitely this is the 'cure'.

Treating malaria

Kolaviron is an anti-oxidant and anti-inflammatory phytochemical. Kolaviron is a major constituent of garcinia seed which helps in treating malaria.

Lagos: 'Pastor's been sleeping with me since I was 10; this's the fourth abortion'

Written by Evelyn Usman & Onozure Dania
~Vanguard Nigeria. Thursday, May 25, 2017.

LAGOS-Scriptural assertions of wolves in sheep clothing resurfaced yesterday, following a startling revelation by a 16-year-old Senior Secondary School, SSS, I student, on how she has been subjected to sexual violations since she was 10 years by a pastor at the Egbe branch of a popular new generation pentecostal church.

The victim, who spoke from the hospital bed around Ikotun area of the state, alleged that the suspect, with the connivance of a medical doctor, had carried out four abortions on her without her consent.

Trouble, as gathered, started for the teenager after the demise of her parents six years ago. An uncle she identified simply as George, took her to Delta State from where the suspect, who had just been separated from his wife, took her to Lagos to look after his child, with a promise to train her in school.

That was when he allegedly started a sexual relationship with her in his three-bedroom flat at 6, Dolamo Street, Agodo-Egbe.

The victim alleged that whenever he wanted to have sexual intercourse with her, he would invite her to his bedroom and offer her some drugs after which she would lose her memory.

According to her, "he usually invited me to bring water to his room at night. Thereafter, he would give me some drugs. But when I summoned courage to ask him one day, he said that the drugs was to make me sexually active.

'No one believed me'

"I have waited for this day when I would be free from his claws. The first time I opened up to our branch's Senior Pastor and his wife, I was hushed. They even said I wanted to tarnish my guardian's image, despite all he had done to keep me in school.

"Again, I reported the sexual molestation to some of my school teachers, but they said they did not know how to go about it and how to prove my claim. They were even afraid that I could be driven away from the house and that it would mean the end of my education.

The son who helped his dad make a baby!

By Urowayino Warami   
~vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, April 2, 2017

TUNDE had been separated from his wife for years. She lives abroad and they are good friends. After years of enjoying the single life, he eventually fell in love and things started going horribly wrong. His story:

"I am a medical doctor with a thriving private practice. Six years ago, I finally plucked up enough courage to ask Maureen out to lunch. She was a junior manager at the bank the hospital used and was always very friendly. Whenever interest rates on fixed deposits went up, she would advise me to push for the highest possible on our account. A professional to the core, I was very impressed with how brilliant and intelligent she was. Not to mention her smashing figure.

"She'd just helped push a soft loan I desperately needed to refurbish the hospital when I asked her to lunch as a 'thank you' gesture. To my pleasant surprise, she agreed and that was how our relationship started. I was in my fifties with two lovely children. Their mother had opted to stay behind when I wanted to relocate to the country – our marriage wasn't working and she had a job she loved with the social service. So, we parted amicably and I so much enjoyed my freedom, I wasn't really keen on getting married again- until I met Maureen.

She was a single mother of a two-year-old daughter and as I got to know her better, she told me she was thinking of leaving the bank to pursue a business in horticulture. She'd completed a horticultural course when she studied abroad and had done a bit on the side for a few clients who'd praised her efforts. I encouraged her to follow her dreams and gave her financial support to kick-start the business – she already had half of the outlay from her retirement benefits.


"Barely a year later, the business had taken off beyond our wildest dreams – thanks to elaborate decorations that are the in-thing at functions these days – weddings especially. With my clout, I was able to get her jobs from reputable companies and friends.

"It was around this time we gave a serious thought to getting married. One thing we both wanted very much was a baby of our own. For the next three years, we tried but nothing happened. In the end, I took her to a gynaecologist who was also a very good friend. He did tests upon tests until it was discovered that only one of her fallopian tubes was functioning. That, coupled with my age, had reduced our chances of having a baby. My friend then suggested we travel to Britain, giving us the address of a top IVF hospital. At first, I was reluctant, but Maureen was in her early 30s and feared her biological clock was ticking fast. And I loved her. So I agreed to go with her.

How can a housewife justify multiple affairs?

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, March 5, 2017.

I'VE often wondered what life would be like if it is devoid of the heady sensation of sex? A lot had been said and written on how revered it should be in marriage. Yet, on the other side of the coin, illicit sex is so available you could virtually have it on tap! When you mention kiss and tell, an image of a man pops up. I mean, what married woman in her senses would confess to an affair even with a gun held to her head, let alone brag about the joy of illicit sex? Times are really changing.

The smug smiles a couple of my friends and I wear when we discussed our 'indiscretions' pale into insignificance when compared with what the average adventurous wife gets away with these days. And she's so brazen she often brags about how easy it is to pull the wool over hubby's eyes.

Vivienne, a much younger friend is one of these high-flying professionals with the Midas touch. She currently works with a boss who was recruited from abroad by the firm they both work with. Viv's been bending my ears on how handsome and cosmopolitan Greg, the boss was that on this day I called on her, I automatically switched off when she started singing Greg's praise. I'd reminded her often she'd just been married less than 10 years and affairs should be off her menu. "I love Ebere (the husband) but he could be so predictable at times." She would tell me in her defence. This day in question, she was babbling on about Greg when I took notice of what she had to say. "I often have erotic dreams about him and now we've been teamed to work overtime on our new account, heavens only know what would happen", she said excitedly.

"What do you mean?", I asked in my don't-do-any-thing-foolish voice. "I've been having these erotic dreams about him and now we'll be working together often, anything could happen". I warned her of the consequences of any rash action, then left. But I couldn't get her out of my mind. I was so curious I had to pay her another visit some few months later. "Oh aunty- C, I feel guilty I couldn't give you a call or visit, I've been so busy!' she said. 'I can imagine,' I mumbled under my breath. It is always a delight to visit her anyway as she entertains lavishly whenever I called. With fresh fish stew and boiled potatoes in my belly, being washed down with a very good wine, Viv dropped her bombshell: "I've relived my dream", she declared. I almost choked on the wine as my ears perked up. "Some weeks back, after we'd finished one of our projects, Greg sent for food from the nearest hotel and popped a bottle of champagne he'd put in his fridge. Before the food arrived, we'd almost finished the bottle which explained why I became giggly and hot when Greg started teasing.


I told him about my dreams and he leered. 'Now's the time to find out,' he said as he moved closer – in a few seconds, we were in a clinch, kissing furiously and helping each other out of our clothes. In no time at all, we were on his office couch, making frantic, raunchy love – the thought of my marriage flying out of the window. "I couldn't have stopped him even if I wanted to! When it was over, he looked really proud of his achievement but I didn't mind. It was the best bunk I'd had for months'.

Men are wired to give, women wired to receive

The SUN Nigeria. Monday, February 20, 2017.

It had started like any other conversation to kill time. Why do women like to take and take? And why do men give women even when it is obvious that the women have more than enough? I bring you excerpts from the banter between a friend and me.

My Friend: Men are foolish, very foolish.

Me: Ah ah, what's biting you? How can you just wake up and make such a blasphemous declaration?

My Friend: How did blasphemy come into this matter? You don't even know what I'm talking about.

Me: I'm itching to find out, trust me. You, a man declaring that men, all men are fools. I'm a woman and I will not even say such a thing. You can call men overgrown babies. They love breasts and are never weaned from them. They love to be petted and pampered but they are no fools. No, I totally disagree with you.

My Friend: By the time I'm done, you will agree with me.

Me: Hmn, until then.

My Friend: Okay, start by explaining this. NYSC pays all corp members the same salaries and allowances, right? But when they get to mammy market, the male corper dips his hands into his pockets and like a fool buys drinks and pepper soup for the female corper. The female corper saves her money after having a good time.

Me: So, the Bobo corper is a fool because of that? That is so totally unfair. He's just being a man. You don't expect the babe to pay for suya when her boo is able and capable?

My Friend: So, the babe is disable and incapable?

Me: Nooo, it's just the way of the world.

HERPES: The infection called herpes

Topics:
- The infection called herpes
- Seek treatment for herpes

_______________________________________

The infection called herpes
Written by Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, February 19, 2017.

Written by Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie

Herpes is an infection caused by a very resourceful kind of microbe known as a virus. It is a clever virus too which finds it easy or convenient to adapt to their respective hosts. The virus causing herpes is of two types which are named the Herpes simplex Type 1 and Type 2 (HSV-1 and HSV-2). The former is mostly involved in causing lesions around the face or more broadly, around the head and neck. In some cases, it causes a severe kind of gum inflammation called gingivostomatitis. This is often seen in children. The Type 2 is mainly found in association with disease in the genital region. This broad categorisation is sometimes wrong especially among certain population groups in whom the Type 1 is found more in association with genital diseases than the Type 2.

Herpes is not a new disease although it was not properly understood until the last two decades of the twentieth century. It dates back to more than 2000 years when the ancient Greeks in response to the creepy nature of the disease named it a creeping or crawling disease. In the Type 1 disease in which the face and lips are primarily involved, the skin problem it causes often resembles a bleeding gum. Most of these infections are not associated with any notable condition or illness. In the majority of cases, there is in fact, no disease status. However, when there is such a disease condition developing in association with this infection, significant illness, incapacitation and even death can occur.

This disease condition has increased in importance and spread in the last quarter of a century. It has therefore become a major public health concern and even though there is no immediate association with this virus of dramatic images of suffering and disease and death, the conditions exist without doubt. There is much ignorance about this virus and what it causes and there is so much else in terms of what damage it can cause especially among those people who already have a compromised immune status as a result of another condition like cancer treatment or long-standing kidney or liver disease. It is also more likely to occur in people with AIDS. In the United States, herpes is the most common cause of genital ulcers.


Both strains of the virus can cause disease in man as has been mentioned above. In addition, they are able to penetrate the unique kind of tissue prevalent in nerves and induce those cells to allow them to reproduce and multiply. It tends therefore, to follow the various nerve routes prevalent in the areas of the body where it mounts its attacks. It can complicate the wounds associated with burns and certain other skin conditions that would result in an inflammation of the skin known as dermatitis. The virus is found everywhere in the world and no age group is exempt from its effects. It is endemic in the human population and human beings are its only known reservoir. The virus also has no known natural vectors but it is liable to perform periodic reactivation which is the reason why so many sufferers of the infection become depressed and poorly motivated when they are exposed to repeated infection. The virus is speedily inactivated by drying and at room temperature so that it quickly loses its potency once it is outside the body. As a result of that weakness, it is not common to get the infection by droplets or in the form of aerosol.

It's none of his business the number of partners you've 'had'!

Candida by Okogba
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 12, 2017.

A young friend of mine recently met the man of her dreams. In the whirlwind courtship that followed, they quickly got round to the conversational games that lovers play. And so it was that Mr. Right asked Miss Right; "How many men have you slept with? The sensible girl immediately reversed the question, to which 'he answered '13'. She then replied with a circumspect '10'.

"How many is it really?" I asked excitedly. `Somewhere between a hundred and a hundred and ten', she said, not batting.an eye lid. "So why did she say 10?" ` I just thought that whatever he said, mine should be less'. How brutally honest can you get? 100 to 110 guys in how many years?!

This little story got me thinking what most latter day emotional, Shylock Holmes, think they are letting themselves in for when they seem bent on digging into past histories of their new lovers! It is a really funny question when you are faced with that kind of a quandary.

"As a regular rule," continued our woman-of-the world, "a woman would do well to gauge her answer from a man's. But what happens if he says 400? Would a response of 308 show a charmingly coy sexual reticence or elicit an indignant 'you're not the mother of my future children" from her shocked partner?

"One thing you should avoid saying is that you can't remember because that could reflect badly on you. I can't remember? That many, is it? She continues: "As a rule, men, automatically double the real figure and women automatically half it. Factual information backs up the theory. There are lies, damn lies and statistics and then there are sexual statistics which must be special kind of double lie. 'Whatever lies you tell, you need to get your head above the proverbial troubled waters!

"How many people you sleep with is a private matter. How many people you admit to having slept with is a social matter and, therefore, a question of manners. What you tell your friend is different from what you tell your lovers. People want to feel special, not as though they are part of a sprawling number game. A white lie isn't necessarily a wicked deceit, but could be simple courtesy. Why tread on someone's dreams when you can just as easily not?"

Good common sense, that is, if you ask me. Only it is amazing, how many good relationships are put in jeopardy in the male partners' quest to find out how promiscuous their female partners are. Are they as promiscuous as 'friends' say they are? At one of our 'old-students' renewals recently, we reverted to nostalgia, asking about old boyfriends. One of us looked particularly – sad and it expired that after her studies, she became pregnant and planned excitedly for a wedding with the love of her life. She was more than bewildered when the boy practically disappeared from the face of the earth.

Mom's blood pressure predicts baby's sex before conception -Scientists

~Punch Nigeria. Thursday, January 19, 2017. 

Some Canadian scientists have said that it is possible to determine the sex of a baby months before it is even conceived.

They say that a woman's blood pressure at around 26 weeks before conception could tell if she will have a boy or a girl.

"Higher systolic blood pressure signals she will deliver a boy while lower suggests a girl," says endocrinologist at Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto, Dr. Ravi Retnakaran.

In a study published in the American Journal of Hypertension, the researchers reached the conclusion as they tried to determine what is responsible for the ratio between girls and boys in a population.

In the new study, the mean systolic blood pressure reading for women who had boys was 106 mm Hg, compared to 103 mm Hg for those who had girls, in the months leading up to conception.

"When a woman becomes pregnant, the sex of a foetus is determined by whether the father's sperm provides an X or Y chromosome and there is no evidence that this probability varies in humans," added Dr. Retnakaran

"What is believed to vary is the proportion of male or female foetuses that is lost during pregnancy

"This study suggests that either lower blood pressure is indicative of a mother's physiology that is less conducive to survival of a male foetus or that higher blood pressure before pregnancy is less conducive to survival of a female foetus.

"This novel insight may hold implications for both reproductive planning and our understanding of the fundamental mechanisms underlying the sex ratio in humans,” he disclosed.

For the study, 1,411 newly-married Chinese women were recruited, all of whom were trying to become pregnant.

Their blood pressure was checked at around 26 weeks before conception and they were followed through pregnancy. Overall, the women gave birth to 739 boys and 672 girls.

Twins from different fathers in one womb

Written by Sola Ogundipe
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 15, 2017. 

Siblings can have different fathers; can twins born of a woman have two fathers? The straight answer is yes. Twins could be "bipaternal." This phenomenon occurs quite rarely (1 in a billion to be exact), but several pairs of non-identical twins have been born, tested and found to be the products of one womb, one pregnancy, but two fathers.

It is often assumed that for twins, both eggs were fertilized during a single act of intercourse. However it is quite possible for one egg to be fertilized during one act of intercourse, and the other during another if the woman has intercourse with two men within hours.

Normally, women ovulate only one healthy egg per cycle. Fraternal twins are born when women ovulate two healthy eggs and both get fertilised. But it is also possible for two eggs to be ovulated during the same cycle and fertilised at different points within the five-day fertility window resulting in twins. This process is known as "superfecundation". What this means is that each egg can be fertilised by different sperms.

If a woman ovulates two or more eggs and she has sex with more than one man while she's fertile, "heteropaternal superfecundation" can occur, if the eggs get fertilised by sperm from the two different fathers within the same ovulation period.

Medical research shows that when a woman has sex with two men within the same ovulation window, it can result in bi-paternal twins, that come when a woman releases two eggs during ovulation instead of one - and both eggs are then fertilized.

Dear Aunty Julie (Relationship, Romance, Healthe and Fitness) -|- My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage

Topics:

Dear Aunty Julie,

• My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage
• I feel guilty about cheating on him
• Help! I had anal s3x and started bleeding
• I'm in love with my husband's best friend
• How do I forgive his sexting
• My husband's friend is destroying our marriage
• My friends want me to sleep with an older woman
• He doesn't like sex during my period
•  Sex with my husband is painful
• I love sex but I don't want anything serious
• My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage
• I feel uncomfortable around my father-in-law
• Aunty Julie, I have a crush on my best friend's brother
• I'm sexually attracted to a man at work, I'm married
• Wetness from my vagina dries into tiny crumbs, smells funny
• Dear Aunty Julie, Help! I am developing feelings for my teacher
• He's scared about sex during my period
• We had sex and I'm itching
• I was raped
• Her parents think we're too young
• My mom is too protective
• Is my lover’s passion strange?

_______________________________________

Dear Julie, My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage

Written by Aunty Julie
~Vanguard, Nigeria. November 11, 2016.

Aunty Julie,
My husband of two years is very sociable and has many close friends that we meet up with for dinner. But he also has clingy friend who comes to our home every Friday and stays until Sunday afternoon. I am often lying around in very little or feeding our baby. One morning he bumped into me naked in the bathroom.

I feel as though my privacy is being invaded. My husband just expects me to chat to him but I am getting angry and we end up having huge fights. If I blame my husband, his friend jumps in and ticks me off. When we went to his house he put on a pornographic film and both he and my husband started grinning at me.

Even on our first anniversary supper this man turned up at the restaurant and joined us for coffee. My husband promises to talk to him but nothing has changed. He texts and telephones my husband every day. This man is nice and he loves our daughter, but I feel as if I am in competition with him for my husband’s attention. How can I stop him coming around all the time.
Anonymous, Lagos.

Dear Anonymous,
Neither your husband nor his friend are being fair to you. To use Princess Diana’s much quoted phrase, there are three of us in this marriage. No wife would want another man there all weekend, leaving her little time to be with her husband. It is difficult enough to find time to just be a couple when there is a new baby, let alone when there is someone else there all the time.
So talk to your husband once more and ask him to tell his friend that you want more time as a couple. It would be fine if he stayed over once a month or came for supper sometimes, but not nearly so frequently. If your husband does nothing then you should talk to his friend yourself. Explain that you like him but you want more time as a couple.

You could offer to find him a girlfriend to keep him occupied . He should definitely not be joining you on your next wedding anniversary. I assume your husband and this man are not in a relationship.

---------------------------------------------------

Dear Julie, I feel guilty about cheating on him

~Vanguard, Nigeria. Friday, September 2, 2016.

Aunty Julie,

My guy and I have been together for the past 10 years. We have been living together but we are not married and my family is kicking. I have always felt like we had a pretty good relationship and although I am away for work quite often, I have never felt tempted to stray.

But last year, I met another guy at a conference and we clicked well and ended up talking for hours. However, one thing led to another and things happened that I never intended to happen. I's not really a big deal but I'm actually dying inside over the guilt I have now.

I haven't seen the guy again but I am struggling because on one hand, I want to tell my partner but on the other, I feel like it will hurt him so much.

I don't know if it's the right thing to do. At the same time, I also wonder to myself why this happened and if I'm happy in my relationship, what made this so available and easy? Is there something more, is there a reason this happened?

Laila, Kogi

Dear Laila,

You are feeling guilty and confused. You seem to care but wonder how you could do this at the same time. The truth is, when our feelings, thoughts and behaviours don't match, we enter the state of cognitive dissonance, which is usually difficult until we get aligned by either reassessing our values or changing our behaviours, so that things line up again.

You are struggling because you are evolving and growing from the situation inside you. But I'm curious if you are more troubled by telling your partner the truth or feeling the judgments. The biggest judge is the person in the mirror. Just like you can love someone but not everything they do, you can love yourself but not everything you've done. That might be a starting point.

When your man needs 'outside' help'!

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, September 11, 2016.

With many of our men complaining of different types of 'accidents' in the bedroom, it is no surprise that the help of what is now termed a 'sexual surrogate' could come in handy. The average 'sexual surrogate' is not a prostitute but a trained psychotherapist who acts as a surrogate for men suffering from a variety of sexual problems which are hampering their ability to have a normal physical relationship.

Padma Deva is currently a highly successful surrogate based in the UK. She said she's never had a negative experience with a client, and far from feeling in any way degraded by her work, she finds it emotionally fulfilling.

According to her: "It is wonderful to witness the transformation my clients undergo, and knowing I have played a part in that is rewarding. During an initial consultation with a new client, I recommend a client sees their doctor to rule out physical causes for their sexual problems such as diabetes or high blood pressure."

If surrogacy is deemed appropriate, she asks her client to take a sexually transmitted disease test before hand. Only then can the surrogacy work begin. To start with, both client' and surrogate may remain fully clothed, focusing on exercises such as touching each other's hands, arms, shoulders and face. As the therapy advances, the client and the surrogate may build up to removing their clothes, engaging in genital contact and, if necessary and appropriate, full sexual intercourse.

Affairs with married women are not as 'safe' as men think – Reader

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, August 28, 2016.

FROM time to time, I get letters from you readers that are so interesting that I feel I ought to share them with the rest of you. A few days back, a letter simply signed "Iyabode" popped up on my e-mail and I couldn't help chuckling to myself as I read it. She wrote: "Dear Bunmi, I am one of the regular readers of your articles in The Vanguard every Sunday, and I do not even know how fully I can express my feelings about your articles. If I may tell you, they have really improved my lifestyle and I always make copies available to friends whenever the need arises.

Bunmi, I shall be grateful if you can please help write something one of these days on: Why men of today prefer married women as girlfriends. Honestly speaking, it is a vogue in town these days. Please help emphasize on the following points:

Class: This set of married women are known for their own class. Most of them are wives of rich and notorious men. These men also go out at all times with extremely younger girls, leaving their wives and kids at home, thinking that money can fix everything, forgetting about love and happiness.

Sex: This category of ladies are preferred by men because they do have wide sexual experiences and they are very safe as they don't pester the men for marriage.

Fashion: These ladies are very fashion conscious. They are seen in designer dresses and at beauty parlours. They do not mind how much they spend on manicures, pedicures and professionally

35 per cent decline in sperm count: Infertile men everywhere!

Written by Chioma Obinna

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, July 31, 2016

Mention "Infertility" and cold shivers run down peoples' spines. Infertility threatens the love, peace and joy in a home. Many homes are faced with the agony of childlessness and infertility is fast becoming a plague. The desire of every couple is to become parents within the first or second year of marriage. While many couples have this dream fulfilled, quite a number of others do not; no matter how hard they try. When pregnancy is not achieved at a point, mistrust sets in. Most of the time, the woman bears the bulk of the blame.

Such was the case of Obigaeri and her childhood friend, Emeka, who later became her husband. "The moment I noticed my mother in-law's frequent visits, I became suspicious," Emeka said.Emeka and Obigaeri were close enough friends right from childhood that what started like child's play blossomed into real life marriage.

Six years into the marriage, there was no sign of pregnancy not even a miscarriage. Tongues started wagging. Love in the home suddenly grew sour. Like the usual practice in Africa, the woman is blamed. Obiagaeri became a laughing stock before her husband's family.

No one saw any good in her anymore. Obiagaeri's world came crashing down. Month after month, she continued to wallow in self pity, hoping for a miracle. One day she ran into an old school mate, and they got talking. She narrated her story, and her school mate counselled and encouraged her to insist that her husband also go for a medical check up. But like the typical Nigerian woman, Obiageri was afraid to confront her husband.

While praying to God to open her womb, Obiageri had been to two in-vitro fertility, IVF, centres where she was given a clean bill of health. Six months later, when she could no longer bear the harassments by family members, she finally opened up:"I told my husband that it was time for him to also check himself". But the response she received from Emeka shocked her. "Why should you involve me in that?", he queried. His reaction was typical of African men.

A heart touching story by Ugandan mother

My name is Harriet Namayengo, I’m 40 years old and I come from Lugazi, Uganda.

I’m a married lady but with no children.  I've written this letter to fans of this page to share with you my pain that I’ve always lived with. It’s pain of childlessness that was inflicted upon me by my heartless co-wife. It all happened 12 years ago. I had just completed my Nursing course and I was working in one of the missionary hospitals in Uganda.

While still at school, I fell in love with James, a medical officer in Eastern Uganda. James was such a nice man that he always visited me at school and showered me with so many presents. This honestly convinced me that he was single as he had told me. While in my last year at the Nursing school, I got pregnant and so James arranged for our wedding, I had already been assured a job at the hospital, he decided to put me in his house in Kampala.

The shock of my life however came shortly after I gave birth to my baby gal. It was then that James disclosed to me that he was so excited coz I had finally given him a baby gal since he had 5 sons. I was surprised and when I told him to repeat what he had said; he apologized and said it was a mistake. I could see it in his eyes that he was hiding something from me so I probed him further. This is when he told me that he was actually married and had a wife with 5 sons. I was disappointed but confused since I loved James so much.

Infertility and the futility of blame game

Written by ONYINYE ECHENDU
Echendu is a fertility physician with The Bridge Clinic, Lagos.
~The SUN, Nigeria. Monday, June 20, 2016

PRECIOUS and her husband, Michael, have been married for eight years but have no children. Their marital journey, which started on a fairy note while they were in the university culminated in a grandi­ose wedding ceremony that was well attended by members of both families as well as friends and well-wishers from far and wide. The highpoint of the ceremony was the arrival of Michael's mother from the United States, where she was nursing one of her daughters' newly born baby, to attend the wedding in Lagos.

A few years into the marriage, Michael's sisters started murmuring their concerns over the inabil­ity of Precious to have a child. Initially, Precious kept these concerns to herself but after a while, she complained to her husband who reassured her and took it up with his sisters and mother. At the time, Precious mother in-law warned her daughters to let the poor woman be as she was confident Precious would bear many grandchildren for her.

On the eve of their sixth wedding anniversary, Precious was invited by her mother in-law. Unsure of the reasons for the invitation, Precious told her husband of the invitation and they both wondered what the invitation was all about. To her greatest surprise, Michael's mother told Precious that her in­ability to bear children for her son has got to a stage that the family wants an explanation. She further informed her that their involvement was necessi­tated by the sheer cowardice of their son, Michael, who could not ask her some critical questions. The woman told her pointedly that they are very fruitful in their family and asked her if barrenness was in their home. Michael's mother asked her how many abortions she carried out before she met her son etc. She was very surprised her husband did not utter a word and cried throughout the meeting.

When they got home that evening, she called her husband to ask why he would let his family humiliate her in that manner, and what made them think their inability to bear children was her fault. Michael got angry and, for the first time in their re­lationship, slapped her for linking him to her inabil­ity to conceive. Ignited by this incident, Precious gathered herself and went to the doctor to ascertain who is to blame for their infertility.