Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. ~Norman Vincent Peale
Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home.
~Carol Nelson
He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.
~Roy L. Smith
Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.
~Mary Ellen Chase
I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.
~Charles Dickens
Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the revolving year - and yet, for all that, when it speaks, its voice has strong authority.
~W.J. Cameron
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. ~Burton Hillis
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home!
~Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers, 1836
Afrisonet: Universally African and Socially Responsible. We are on the path to the total discovery of the people in today's Africa. Repositioning, to have a way, a say and to make a difference! Be Part.
What African husbands expect of their wives
~Punch Nigeria. Wednesday, December 7, 2016.
In no particular order, this is what some African men say they expect of their wives…
Slim down. Don't let people take you for my mother when, indeed, you are my wife. I love to see you exercise and eat less.
Don't disrespect me. I want to feel respected even with my imperfections. Correct me with respect.
Don't always claim your right. Be quick to say, “I am sorry.”
Don't delay me when we have to go out together. Start getting ready well ahead of time and don’t ever keep me waiting.
I love good food. If you have to attend catering school to make me eat well, please do.
I hate nagging. When you make your request, believe in me to do it in my own time. No amount of nagging can change me.
Don't belittle or gossip about me to anyone. If there are issues that need be to addressed, find a quiet time when we can talk, just the two of us; not necessarily in the middle of the night when you’re most likely going to disturb my sleep.
Don't prioritise anyone over me. Make me your number one - not your pastor, the children, your friends or your family.
Yes, I love sex! Don't withhold it. And don't ever use it as a bargaining chip.
Stop acting like my mother.
In no particular order, this is what some African men say they expect of their wives…
Slim down. Don't let people take you for my mother when, indeed, you are my wife. I love to see you exercise and eat less.
Don't disrespect me. I want to feel respected even with my imperfections. Correct me with respect.
Don't always claim your right. Be quick to say, “I am sorry.”
Don't delay me when we have to go out together. Start getting ready well ahead of time and don’t ever keep me waiting.
I love good food. If you have to attend catering school to make me eat well, please do.
I hate nagging. When you make your request, believe in me to do it in my own time. No amount of nagging can change me.
Don't belittle or gossip about me to anyone. If there are issues that need be to addressed, find a quiet time when we can talk, just the two of us; not necessarily in the middle of the night when you’re most likely going to disturb my sleep.
Don't prioritise anyone over me. Make me your number one - not your pastor, the children, your friends or your family.
Yes, I love sex! Don't withhold it. And don't ever use it as a bargaining chip.
Stop acting like my mother.
Africa’s longest-serving leaders
~Vanguard Nigeria. Friday, December 2, 2016.
Angolan President Jose Eduardo dos Santos, who is set to stand down next year after 38 years in power, is one of Africa’s longest-serving leaders.
The continent is home to many men who have held office for two decades or more, and dos Santos is currently second overall, just a month behind Teodoro Obiang Nguema of Equatorial Guinea.
Here is a rundown:
– African leaders for more than 30 years –
– In tiny, oil-rich Equatorial Guinea, President Obiang is Africa’s longest-serving leader, at 37 years.
Obiang came to power in a coup on August 3, 1979, ousting his own uncle, Francisco Macias Nguema, who was shot by a firing squad.
– Dos Santos is next in Angola, having taken up his post on September 21, 1979.
– Robert Mugabe, 92, rounds out the podium at number three, having run Zimbabwe since its independence in April 1980.
Mugabe is the only leader to have ruled since independence, and has now been either prime minister or president (since 1987) for more than 36 years.
– In Cameroon, Paul Biya has 34 years under his belt. He became president on November 6, 1982 after serving seven years as prime minister.
– Congolese President Denis Sassou Nguesso has spent 32 years in office, but not in one go. He first served from 1979 to 1992 and then came back to run the country in 1997 at the end of a civil war.
Sassou Nguesso was re-elected in March 2016 and could run again when the current term expires.
– In Uganda, Yoweri Museveni has been in power for more than 30 years. He took office in January 1986 after winning the war that ousted Idi Amin Dada, with help from neighbouring Tanzania.
He was elected to a fifth term in February 2016 amid allegations of fraud.
– King Mswati III of Swaziland is Africa’s last absolute monarch. He acceded to the throne of the tiny southern kingdom in April 1986.
– In power for more than 20 years –
– In Sudan, Omar al-Bashir has ruled for 27 years since he staged a successful coup in June 1989.
– Chad’s leader Idriss Deby took over the north-central African nation in December 1990, giving him 26 years in power. Deby won a disputed fifth term in April 2016.
– Eritrea’s head of state Issayas Afewerki has been around since 1993.
– Gambian leader Yahya Jammeh has ruled for 22 years since he staged a coup in July 1994. However, he was defeated by opposition leader Adama Barrow, failing to get a fifth five-year term in Thursday’s election.
 |
| Jose Eduardo |
The continent is home to many men who have held office for two decades or more, and dos Santos is currently second overall, just a month behind Teodoro Obiang Nguema of Equatorial Guinea.
Here is a rundown:
– African leaders for more than 30 years –
– In tiny, oil-rich Equatorial Guinea, President Obiang is Africa’s longest-serving leader, at 37 years.
Obiang came to power in a coup on August 3, 1979, ousting his own uncle, Francisco Macias Nguema, who was shot by a firing squad.
– Dos Santos is next in Angola, having taken up his post on September 21, 1979.
– Robert Mugabe, 92, rounds out the podium at number three, having run Zimbabwe since its independence in April 1980.
Mugabe is the only leader to have ruled since independence, and has now been either prime minister or president (since 1987) for more than 36 years.
– In Cameroon, Paul Biya has 34 years under his belt. He became president on November 6, 1982 after serving seven years as prime minister.
– Congolese President Denis Sassou Nguesso has spent 32 years in office, but not in one go. He first served from 1979 to 1992 and then came back to run the country in 1997 at the end of a civil war.
Sassou Nguesso was re-elected in March 2016 and could run again when the current term expires.
– In Uganda, Yoweri Museveni has been in power for more than 30 years. He took office in January 1986 after winning the war that ousted Idi Amin Dada, with help from neighbouring Tanzania.
He was elected to a fifth term in February 2016 amid allegations of fraud.
– King Mswati III of Swaziland is Africa’s last absolute monarch. He acceded to the throne of the tiny southern kingdom in April 1986.
– In power for more than 20 years –
– In Sudan, Omar al-Bashir has ruled for 27 years since he staged a successful coup in June 1989.
– Chad’s leader Idriss Deby took over the north-central African nation in December 1990, giving him 26 years in power. Deby won a disputed fifth term in April 2016.
– Eritrea’s head of state Issayas Afewerki has been around since 1993.
– Gambian leader Yahya Jammeh has ruled for 22 years since he staged a coup in July 1994. However, he was defeated by opposition leader Adama Barrow, failing to get a fifth five-year term in Thursday’s election.
How to manage abdominal pain in children
Written by Dr Rotimi Adesanya
Web: www.doctoradesanya. blogspot.com.
~Punch Nigeria. Friday, November 11, 2016.
 |
| Dr Rotimi Adesanya |
Causes of stomach ache
The term 'stomach ache' is casually used for all types of pain experienced in the abdominal area, but anyone who has suffered it knows that one stomach ache can be different from another. Not only can a stomach ache occur high up under the ribs or down low in the guts; its intensity varies.
Stomach pain in children is often caused by excessive gas and indigestion, which might not be a serious issue. A 'sore tummy' may also be a sign of infections like food poisoning, gastroenteritis, pneumonia or urinary tract infections.
Severe stomach pain might be caused by more serious or surgical illnesses like appendicitis or intussusceptions, which is when part of the gut slides into or over itself. Pain in the stomach that keeps coming back might be associated with constipation, food intolerance or inflammation in the gut.
Symptoms
The symptoms that come with stomach pain may include nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, fever, constipation, bloating and loss of appetite. These symptoms vary, depending on the underlying cause of the pain.
Dear Aunty Julie (Relationship, Romance, Healthe and Fitness) -|- My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage
Topics:
- My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage
- I feel guilty about cheating on him
- Help! I had anal s3x and started bleeding
- I'm in love with my husband's best friend
- How do I forgive his sexting
- My husband's friend is destroying our marriage
- My friends want me to sleep with an older woman
- He doesn't like sex during my period
- Sex with my husband is painful
- I love sex but I don't want anything serious
- My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage
- I feel uncomfortable around my father-in-law
- Aunty Julie, I have a crush on my best friend's brother
- I'm sexually attracted to a man at work, I'm married
- Wetness from my vagina dries into tiny crumbs, smells funny
- Dear Aunty Julie, Help! I am developing feelings for my teacher
- He's scared about sex during my period
- We had sex and I'm itching
- I was raped
- Her parents think we're too young
- My mom is too protective
- Is my lover’s passion strange?
Dear Julie, My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage
Written by Aunty Julie~Vanguard, Nigeria. November 11, 2016.
Aunty Julie,
My husband of two years is very sociable and has many close friends that we meet up with for dinner. But he also has clingy friend who comes to our home every Friday and stays until Sunday afternoon. I am often lying around in very little or feeding our baby. One morning he bumped into me naked in the bathroom.I feel as though my privacy is being invaded. My husband just expects me to chat to him but I am getting angry and we end up having huge fights. If I blame my husband, his friend jumps in and ticks me off. When we went to his house he put on a pornographic film and both he and my husband started grinning at me.
Even on our first anniversary supper this man turned up at the restaurant and joined us for coffee. My husband promises to talk to him but nothing has changed. He texts and telephones my husband every day. This man is nice and he loves our daughter, but I feel as if I am in competition with him for my husband’s attention. How can I stop him coming around all the time.
Anonymous, Lagos.
Dear Anonymous,
Neither your husband nor his friend are being fair to you. To use Princess Diana’s much quoted phrase, there are three of us in this marriage. No wife would want another man there all weekend, leaving her little time to be with her husband. It is difficult enough to find time to just be a couple when there is a new baby, let alone when there is someone else there all the time.
So talk to your husband once more and ask him to tell his friend that you want more time as a couple. It would be fine if he stayed over once a month or came for supper sometimes, but not nearly so frequently. If your husband does nothing then you should talk to his friend yourself. Explain that you like him but you want more time as a couple.
You could offer to find him a girlfriend to keep him occupied . He should definitely not be joining you on your next wedding anniversary. I assume your husband and this man are not in a relationship.
---------------------------------------------------
Dear Julie, I feel guilty about cheating on him
~Vanguard, Nigeria. Friday, September 2, 2016.
Aunty Julie,
My guy and I have been together for the past 10 years. We have been living together but we are not married and my family is kicking. I have always felt like we had a pretty good relationship and although I am away for work quite often, I have never felt tempted to stray.
But last year, I met another guy at a conference and we clicked well and ended up talking for hours. However, one thing led to another and things happened that I never intended to happen. I's not really a big deal but I'm actually dying inside over the guilt I have now.
I haven't seen the guy again but I am struggling because on one hand, I want to tell my partner but on the other, I feel like it will hurt him so much.
I don't know if it's the right thing to do. At the same time, I also wonder to myself why this happened and if I'm happy in my relationship, what made this so available and easy? Is there something more, is there a reason this happened?
Laila, Kogi
Dear Laila,
You are feeling guilty and confused. You seem to care but wonder how you could do this at the same time. The truth is, when our feelings, thoughts and behaviours don't match, we enter the state of cognitive dissonance, which is usually difficult until we get aligned by either reassessing our values or changing our behaviours, so that things line up again.
You are struggling because you are evolving and growing from the situation inside you. But I'm curious if you are more troubled by telling your partner the truth or feeling the judgments. The biggest judge is the person in the mirror. Just like you can love someone but not everything they do, you can love yourself but not everything you've done. That might be a starting point.
Ghana, Zambia to adopt Nigeria's BVN scheme
Written by Jonah Nwokpoku
~Vanguard Nigeria. Wednesday, November 9, 2016.
GHANA's apex bank, the Bank of Ghana and Bank of Zambia are currently understudying Nigeria's bank verification number, BVN initiative in order to introduce it into their banking system.
This was disclosed by Director, Banking and Payment System, CBN, Mr. Dipo Fatokun while speaking about the several initiatives the CBN has undertaken to strengthen Nigeria's financial system, at the Swift Business Forum held in Lagos yesterday.
He said: "Under the payment vision 2020, we have actually implemented some reforms. First to be mentioned is the RTGS system. This is one of the systemically important payment infrastructure that we have. And it has assisted in conducting bank transfers and settlements, real time. Another thing that we have done is the bank verification number, which was concluded last year. This has helped a great deal to properly identify bank customers and we are also witnessing drastic reduction of incidence of fraud as a result. And I am glad to say that my colleagues from the Bank of Ghana have visited us, about two weeks ago, to see how this has been done. Our colleagues from the Bank of Zambia are also currently in Nigeria seeing how this was done, with the aim of replicating such in their own country."
Fatokun who was also speaking as a member of a panel discussing, 'Regionalisation and Trade Corridor Evolution in West Africa' pointed out that besides African countries' focus on commodities that offer them comparative advantage and creating incentives to encourage investments, there is need for strong and reliable payment infrastructure to enhance intra-African trade.
Comparative advantage
According to him, "There is need for structural reforms for us to be able to trade successfully within the West African sub region. Each country will specialise on areas where they have comparative advantage. One of the things that has hindered trade between African countries is because most African countries are commodity producers. So, there is need for countries to restructure their economies so that they can also get involved in activities outside the commodity market.
"Another thing that can be done is to create incentives among countries. For example, tax holidays, market instruments, waivers, etc. And there is no doubting the fact that the central bank of these countries and the ministry of finance, the fiscal authorities, will play critical role in the process.
"More so, we must have infrastructure that will connect all the countries so that people can pay seamlessly across different regions of the continent.
If all these are taken care of, then enhanced intra-African trade is doable. And in pursuing this, the government has the responsibility to create awareness because you can only trade in articles that you need.
If citizens are still consumers of foreign products from Europe, America and Asia, then you need to create the necessary market for the African trade. So on our own, we need to begin to educate our people so that we can encourage trade among ourselves."
~Vanguard Nigeria. Wednesday, November 9, 2016.
GHANA's apex bank, the Bank of Ghana and Bank of Zambia are currently understudying Nigeria's bank verification number, BVN initiative in order to introduce it into their banking system.
This was disclosed by Director, Banking and Payment System, CBN, Mr. Dipo Fatokun while speaking about the several initiatives the CBN has undertaken to strengthen Nigeria's financial system, at the Swift Business Forum held in Lagos yesterday.
He said: "Under the payment vision 2020, we have actually implemented some reforms. First to be mentioned is the RTGS system. This is one of the systemically important payment infrastructure that we have. And it has assisted in conducting bank transfers and settlements, real time. Another thing that we have done is the bank verification number, which was concluded last year. This has helped a great deal to properly identify bank customers and we are also witnessing drastic reduction of incidence of fraud as a result. And I am glad to say that my colleagues from the Bank of Ghana have visited us, about two weeks ago, to see how this has been done. Our colleagues from the Bank of Zambia are also currently in Nigeria seeing how this was done, with the aim of replicating such in their own country."
Fatokun who was also speaking as a member of a panel discussing, 'Regionalisation and Trade Corridor Evolution in West Africa' pointed out that besides African countries' focus on commodities that offer them comparative advantage and creating incentives to encourage investments, there is need for strong and reliable payment infrastructure to enhance intra-African trade.
Comparative advantage
According to him, "There is need for structural reforms for us to be able to trade successfully within the West African sub region. Each country will specialise on areas where they have comparative advantage. One of the things that has hindered trade between African countries is because most African countries are commodity producers. So, there is need for countries to restructure their economies so that they can also get involved in activities outside the commodity market.
"Another thing that can be done is to create incentives among countries. For example, tax holidays, market instruments, waivers, etc. And there is no doubting the fact that the central bank of these countries and the ministry of finance, the fiscal authorities, will play critical role in the process.
"More so, we must have infrastructure that will connect all the countries so that people can pay seamlessly across different regions of the continent.
If all these are taken care of, then enhanced intra-African trade is doable. And in pursuing this, the government has the responsibility to create awareness because you can only trade in articles that you need.
If citizens are still consumers of foreign products from Europe, America and Asia, then you need to create the necessary market for the African trade. So on our own, we need to begin to educate our people so that we can encourage trade among ourselves."
Happiness is key to good health
Written by Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, November 6, 2016.
 |
| Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie |
When people set out in life, they have dreams of living in fantastic houses and driving around town in fast cars and around the world on epic journeys to romantic corners of the earth. Such dreams meet a spectacular shipwreck during the reality of adult life. For the few people who realise such dreams, they soon find out that the associated material possessions do not bring them either happiness or good health.
The key things which have been found to guarantee good health are relationships garnered from community associations, family connections and marital harmony. People who are unhappy and are denied good community bonds tend to be isolated individuals with steadily declining brain function and memory problems. They have a harder time trying to properly control their cholesterol levels during middle age and generally have a more difficult emotional status to control than people who are in happy relations with their neighbours and their communities. In the same way, people who are in toxic marital relationships tend to develop deep personality problems and an instinctive distrust of people around them. Family feuds belong in this category with premature aging, heart disease and chronic sadness completing the toxic combination. Add alcoholism to all these factors and you will have put together a dangerous brew that will guarantee premature death.
The clear message from the foregoing is that good social connections to family, friends and community make happier people and more satisfied individuals than those who are not as well connected. The brains of the poorly socially connected folks deteriorate earlier and faster than among people in the other group.
Properly integrated individuals live longer and have a healthier muscle bulk and cardiovascular status than those who tend to be unhappy most of the time. This is true even if they are stupendously wealthy. The people with toxic family relationships have a poorer control of their cholesterol levels than those who do not have similar entanglements. Loneliness kills, as we discussed on this page about a year ago. People who are more disconnected from others are more likely to die prematurely than are those who engage well with people around them. You can be lonely in a crowd or in a marriage and thus be unable to mentally engage with the people around you. Close personal relationships that are warm and happy provide emotional stability to those who engage in such relationships. This helps reduce the level of anxiety and conflict than in those individuals who are aloof and distant.
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