Where exactly are the wife materials?!

Diary of a Divorced City Girl by Emmanuel Okogba
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, June 17, 2018.

HAVE you noticed it's taking men a long time to settle down these days and make an honest woman of one of the 'catches' they always have on the leash? When Joseph hit his 30s, I often counselled him on the advantages of settling down and having all his children whilst he was young. "What's the hurry," he always told me.
A suave gentleman with a good job and a nice to-die-for pad, he believed it wouldn't be an effort to meet a partner when he was good and ready to settle down. He recently hit 40, and a dad to an adorable son whose mother doesn't want to get married! "I couldn't really believe it when she told me", Joseph said, scandalised. "I was too old for her? Too old?

She was in her mid 20s, when we met and already had a child.

"When she became pregnant, I grudgingly decided to ask her to be my wife thinking she would be grateful to have a stepfather for her child. She was also for it at first, but after she had the child, she told me she didn't think I was financially buoyant enough to look after her and two children. That her furniture business was doing well and she would rather be on her own. I was free to visit my son any time I wished and contribute to his upbringing. I was speechless. Not even my mother could talk her round. She's put a big dent in my self-esteem, I tell you! I'm now 40 and don't think I'll ever have a genuine girlfriend to make my wife. I want to settle down and have children by one woman. As things are now, it seems I've mucked up and made a mess of my future. It's true I loved clubbing and each weekend, I'd take home a different girl and we'd have a great time.


"I was young and all I wanted was sex and more sex and I didn't see anything wrong with what I was doing – that was until now. To my embarrassment, I've discovered, that no decent girl will come near me. Yes, I do get girls, but they've been around a bit, and I've slept with most of them. Just before the end of the year, I went to an office and met a lot of girls having a natter. It so happened that, out of the seven of them, I'd slept with five.

"They greeted me warmly but I was shaking in my shoes with embarrassment. I was sure that as soon as I left, they'd be having a good gossip at my expense! I don't want that kind of life again. I know its' my fault that I suddenly found myself out of the market. I mean, I never dreamt I would get involved with a single mother, not to think of such a person giving me the elbow!

What you expect from your marriage is not what you often get!

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, June 17, 2018.

Couple

WILL the average person experiencing problems in their relationship know the right time to walk away? It goes without saying that divorce now is quick and with little rancour, single parenthood is on the increase and more men opt for the single life despite the fact that eligible women are two a penny (seemingly). Yet, never before has there been that fear of uncertainty in abandoning a relationship that was obviously going nowhere than now. A few months ago, I ran into a friend's daughter and asked after her mother.

Sheepishly, she told me it was a long time she saw her mother last as she was now living with her fiance. That would have been perfectly in order if it was what she wanted too. "I would have preferred for us to get married", she shrugged, "but he doesn't want to commit himself until I'm pregnant".

What happens if she gets pregnant, gets married, and later has a miscarriage? Will the man abandon her some two years later if she can't conceive again? These questions and lots more ran through my mind but I didn't want to make the poor girl more miserable than she already was. She is currently hopping from one gynaecologist to the other and when I asked her if the love of her life had gone for a test too, she said it wasn't necessary as he'd already fathered a child. I wanted to tell her that was no proof. That I knew a few 'surrogate' fathers who'd made a few 'barren' women mothers. The legal fathers are none the wiser and the mothers are now free of criticisms and jibes from their in-laws. Their marriage seems to be on an even keel.

The situation that gives a lot of concern is where the couples know that their marriage is lying on its back with its hooves virtually in the air but sit tight and hope that things will get better.

Unfortunately, they seldom do. Boma, a retired industrial nurse in her 60s now sits alone in her lovely house, wishing she'd had the common sense to kick her wayward husband out of their matrimonial home when she realized he was a bum despite the fact that he was a medical doctor. "I had a very shrewd father who believed in putting a bit by for the rainy day", she said. "When I was working after my training in England, he was always urging me to save and send whatever I could home so he could buy me some property. His letter bothered on an irritation at times but his insistence goaded me into doing temporary jobs – and petty-trading along with my regular job so I could send him money. He always made up for the balance and thanks to him, when we came back, I had a few plots of land here and there.

GYMS – DANGER TO MARRIAGES

Recent studies across the world by a group of Christian Social Women Group has revealed that patronage of gyms are becoming a high risk option to sustainability of marriages.

The health and physical benefits of gyms not withstanding, the gyms are proving to be fertile grounds for infidelity and promiscuity. Some of the observations made are revealing:

First, the gym instructors prey on vulnerable women. A lot of married women have adopted the gym as a panacea to reducing weight and looking cutely attractive. Presumably because their spouses could be more attracted to their new curvy bodies. This makes them vulnerable to predating gym instructors who take advantage and seduce them. Touching the women at their most weakest areas opened them up for abuses and lasciviousness. Women biologically respond to tickles and fondles depending on which part of the body you touch. Gym instructors cunningly and constantly touch these spots when they observed them to break the emotional stability of those women. These over a period opens up those women for abuse. It was observed that these are prevalent with more affluent women and also lonely spouses.

Socialisation – The study also revealed that most marriages have suffered because the men or women have taken the gyms as their main centres of socialisation. When couples don’t find any reliable source of socialisation, they see the gym and the patrons as their most reliable friends, partners and joy. Most couples who attend the gym together do not face this risk. Couples who attend gyms alone are very prone to these dangers. After a period of socialising with the same opposite sex for a time, bonding becomes almost unavoidable. The more they train, chat, drink and sometimes eat together after the physical exercises, they become used to each other and sometimes share their marriage challenges. Unsuspecting partners are taken advantage of through a show of sympathy and sometimes outright deception and ill advice.

Targeting – Some men and women have intentionally joined gyms and clubs purposely to prey on a targeted victim. Many men and women have ignorantly fallen to wicked and deceitful men and women who have targeted them over a period. The targets may not know that these men and women have intentioned to have them for long and unsuspectingly opened up to them as gym mates and friends.

Facebook's first hub space in Africa to train 50,000 Nigerian youths

Written by Juliet Ebirim
~Vanguard Nigeria. Wednesday, May 30, 2018.

No fewer than 50,000 Nigerian youths would turn geeks by the time they go through the numerous training modules laid out by popular social media platform and technology company, Facebook.

The trainings would happen at the ultra modern hub space, first in the whole of Africa which it sited in Nigeria recently.

Facebook unveiled the space tagged NG_Hub in Lagos, announcing immediately that it was the first community hub space in Africa. The hub was established in partnership with Nigeria's talent curators, Co-creation Hub,CcHUB.

The hub, according to Facebook, highlights its ongoing commitment to supporting local talent in Nigeria even as it has planned a week-long celebration which will bring together developers, start-ups, and the wider tech community across Nigeria.

Unveiling the new multi-faceted space, Facebook's Vice President Partnerships, Mr Ime Archibong, said the centre is targeted towards bringing communities together to collaborate, learn and exchange ideas.

He said: "Technology provides expansive opportunities to engage young, creative and resourceful Nigerians, especially in delivering solutions to challenges across communities here in Nigeria. Our mission is to build community and bring the world closer together. "NG_Hub provides that physical space that will serve as a centre of learning and skills development in Lagos, and I'm excited about the possibilities that this will create."

Also, the Manager, Developer Programmes Facebook, Mr Emeka Afigbo, said the hub will help Facebook train 50,000 people in digital skills even as it is aimed to drive innovation in Nigeria's tech ecosystem.

Afigbo said the hub was also a deliberate design to equip Nigerian SMEs, tech entrepreneurs and the next generation of leaders to better understand and utilise the power of digital tools for economic growth.

On his part, Bosun Tijani, Founder/CEO of CcHub, said: "Our aim has always been to provide a viable platform for creators and innovators to express their talent and create solutions to the myriad of social and economic challenges faced by countries across the continent. Partnering with Facebook on NG_Hub enables us to achieve our objectives at scale and make the desired impact in the tech ecosystem here in Lagos."

She met her husband's love-child at her son's school!

By Bunmi Sofola ~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, May 27, 2018. As Maureen's six-year-old son Ben, waved a letter from his school at his mum, she eagerly opened it to find out why her son was so excited. Her son came first in arts and his parents were invited to the end-of-year presentation of prizes. "Your child's first recognition of their academic prowess is supposed to be a happy moment, an unforgettable milestone in their life. But I'll certainly never forget my son, Ben's first," recalled Maureen. "Because it was the day I found out the truth about Segun my husband. "It started with such excitement. Ben was so happy getting on his smart uniform. He looked really grown-up and I was really proud of him. The school had organised a few photographers parents could patronise and we had a few shots of our happy moment. Ben was all over the place pointing out a few of his classmates and friends when another little girl, the same age as Ben, came running over from the other side of the assembly hall, grabbed hold of Segun's leg in a hug and said; 'Daddy, daddy!' I laughed and started peeling this little girl off my husband. "Bending slightly, I said to her: 'I'm sorry darling, but I think you've got the wrong daddy!' She looked back at me with confusion in her eyes and said, "No, he's my daddy. But he no longer comes to see me and my mummy.' I looked from her to Segun and back. Why wasn't he putting the little girl straight? And why did he look so guilty? I glanced around to see if I could see the girl's parents anywhere. Instead, I spotted a woman across the hall looking at us with a mixture of concern and anger. I looked back at my husband. 'What's going on?' I asked him angrily." Suddenly, the penny dropped. This poor girl was Segun's daughter. But how? There was no time for an explanation, the presentations were about to start. At the end of it, the parents were allowed to stay a while with the children in their classrooms. I was in a state of bewilderment. I could see the girl and her mother through the window in the classroom next to us. I could barely take my eyes off them. I didn't hear a word of the teacher's address to Ben's class. I could barely speak when it was time to leave.

Why I asked to be killed at Swiss suicide clinic –104-year-old scientist

~Yahoo News UK. Thursday, May 10, 2018.

Dr David Goodall

British-born academic Dr David Goodall has explained why he has chosen to end his own life at the age of 104.

Dr. Goodall, who was born in Britain but lived for much of his life in Australia, travelled to Switzerland to visit a euthanasia clinic.

Wearing a sweatshirt with the slogan 'Ageing Disgracefully', he addressed a press conference today (Wednesday) on the eve of his death to explain his decision.

“I am rather surprised at the wide internet in my case. I am very appreciative of the hospitality of the Swiss federation and the ability which one has here to come to an end gracefully,” he told reporters.

“I am happy to have this chance, though I would have preferred to have had it in Australia, and I greatly regret that Australia is behind Switzerland in this move, and that most countries are in fact behind Switzerland.

“One wants at my age, and even rather less than my age, one wants to be free to chose their death at an appropriate time.

“My abilities have been declining over the past year or two - well, my eyesight has, for the past five or six years.

“I no longer want to continue life. I am happy to have the chance tomorrow (Thursday) to end it and I appreciate the help of the medical profession here in making that possible.”

He assured the gathered press that he had no regrets about the decision he had made.

He also said that his family supported his decision and that none of them had tried to change his mind.

“There are many things I would like to do, I suppose; but its too late. I am content,” he said.

Dr. Goodall received a round of applause from those gathered after bursting into song during the press conference.

When one reporter asked him if he had chosen a piece of music to listen to during his last moments, he replied that he had not, but that he would chose the final movement of Beethoven's ninth symphony.

Dr. Goodall then sang a section of the piece of music to the delight of those present.

Dr. Goodall will die on Thursday with a number of family members present.

How women change men’s behaviour

Men live in self-denial when they play down the power of women. Sobbing women are known to have made men change hard-line positions or pacify their women.

Now researchers have shown that the mere presence of a beautiful woman around men makes them do dumb things. For example, it has been observed that when a beautiful woman walks past a group of men in active conversation, they go dump with some losing their thoughts.

The following are the many scientifically proven ridiculous things men do around women, compiled from various sources.

A woman’s presence makes men go dumb: Men literally become dumb after they interact with women they find attractive. In a study, men scored less on cognitive tests after meeting women. In a version of the test, the men weren’t even looking at females. They were just told that females are going to be looking at them.

The 2009 study demonstrated that after a short interaction with an attractive woman, men experienced a decline in mental performance. A more recent study suggests that this cognitive impairment takes hold even when men simply anticipate interacting with a woman who they know very little about. Sanne Nauts and her colleagues at Radboud University Nijmegen in the Netherlands ran two experiments using men and women university students as participants.

In this society, people frequently interact with each other over the phone or online, where the only way to infer somebody’s gender is through their name or voice. Nauts’ research suggests that even with very limited interactions, men may experience cognitive impairment when faced with the opposite sex. The researchers think that the reason may have something to do with men being more strongly attuned to potential mating opportunities. Generally, it all looks like whenever we face situations where we’re particularly concerned about the impression that we’re making, we may literally have difficulty thinking clearly. In the case of men, thinking about interacting with a woman is enough to make their brains go a bit fuzzy