She did what she had to do to give her kids a better life!

Diary of a Divorced City Girl
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, July 15, 2018.

WOULD you do anything to make your kids happy – however sordid you believe such things to be? A few years ago, Denike, a teaching assistant at a private primary school resigned and started a sort of petty trading. "We had the front two rooms in the house we moved to after Dele, my husband, was medically discharged from the armed forces and the little money he had ran out", she explained.
"I started with running a small canteen in front of the house but the landlord kicked against it because of the fire hazard it created. Then I started retail trading but the profits weren't much to look after us all – four children in total. I felt guilty every time I had to tell my children we couldn't afford little treats they'd taken for granted. Out of frustration, I confided in a former colleague at the school. She earned the same salary I did but had told me she also had a part-time job that paid fairly well. I wanted her to find out if there was a chance of my being employed.

"She didn't even bat an eyelid before explaining what she did. She worked at a private club that offered massages to members. It was right in the middle of town and was always busy. She could take me there if I was keen. Of course there was a catch. As well as massaging the clients, I would have to provide extras too. After giving it a thought, I said I would do anything but full sex. I would be okay with a bit of touching, but I couldn't go that far. It still didn't stop me from being nervous though. I remember my first time with a man – massaging his back, hardly knowing what to do as he tried to slip his hand up my skirt. He then pleasured himself on me. I felt dirty and violated.


"I was screaming inside. I just wanted to run from that room, go home and never came back. Then I remembered the toys my kids wanted that Christmas. I imagined their eyes lighting up as I handed them their presents on their wish list. When the man had finished, I cleaned up, took the cash from him as he left. I was a bit relieved it was ready cash. Pure profit so to speak. It was an encouraging start.

"Over the next few months, I saw more men. Some just wanted a massage and a fondle, others were after more. I still didn't feel comfortable enough to have sex with a stranger though. But the more I worked the more relaxed I was about the idea. My colleague assured me what 1 was earning were peanuts compared to what 1 would get if I went the whole way. And about three months after starting, I was finally ready to take the plunge. At least, I thought I was. That morning, I was a wreck. I couldn't eat much. Every time I thought about a stranger on top of me, I broke out in a cold sweat.

Why desperate women fall for oldest trick all the time!

~Vanguard Nigeria. Tuesday, July 10, 2018.

WHENEVER the word, ‘mistress' is mentioned, up springs the image of a calculating vamp dressed
in skimpy clothes and expensive hair extensions, ready to lure away husbands without a second thought to the families of such men. But sometimes, the truth is usually more complicated. As a result, many women who find themselves the 'other woman' are caught in situations they never bargained for. Take the case of Mylah for instance. "I wasn't looking for a relationship when I met Jacob,'she told me, a bit sad. 'I'd just split up from my husband of 11 years-and was busy looking after the three children of the marriage.

"Jacob was a friend's elder brother and we met at my friend's 40th birthday party. He told me he's been estranged from his wife for months and was waiting for his divorce to be finalized. According to him, his wife hadn't really adapted to the fact that wives were supposed to behave differently from when they were abroad,'and when they finally relocated to Nigeria. I didn't ask 'him for details and our relationship quickly took up from there. He gave me his mobile number as well as his home's and visited every spare minute he got. Gradually, we became very fond of each other and he sometimes slept over at mine.

"He lived alone and when he suggested I moved in with him, I agreed. The children were in the boarding house-and having them for the holidays wouldn't be a problem. As soon as Jacob's divorce was through, he promised we would get married-I was very happy. The fact that he was technically married didn't bother me and he openly let me know when he was popping over to his old house to see his two children. I was after all, a mother and knew the importance of both parents to children.

"I later discovered that life with Jacob wasn't always smooth-sailing. When we had rows, he would storm off for hours. Then last year, the friend I met him through arranged for us to come with her family to the Benin Republic to see a relative and have a holiday in the process. I jumped at the chance and Jacob was quite willing to go. The morning we were to go, he picked up a quarrel and stormed off again. I was furious when he didn't turn up hours later, fearing he might be in an accident. I called my friend to cancel the trip, telling her why. She calmly told me Jacob was already outside their house in the car with his wife! I was in shock. I'd believed him 100 per cent when he said they'd split. I'd had no reason not to. We were living together for heaven's sake! I asked my friend to take the phone to him, but he refused to talk to me.

Ethiopia, Eritrea sign statement that war ‘has come to an end’

~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, July 8, 2018.

Leaders of Ethiopia and Eritrea

Ethiopia and Eritrea are no longer at war, the neighbours said in a joint statement Monday, a day after their leaders held a historic meeting in Asmara.
Quoting from a “Joint Declaration of Peace and Friendship,” Eritrean Information Minister Yemane Gebremeskel said on Twitter the “state of war that existed between the two countries has come to an end. A new era of peace and friendship has been ushered (in).”

“Both countries will work to promote close cooperation in political, economic, social, cultural and security areas,” Yemane added.

He said the agreement was signed by Ethiopian Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed and Eritrean President Isaias Afwerki on Monday morning at state house in Asmara.

Images of the ceremony showed the two men sharing a wooden desk, backed by their nations’ flags, as they simultaneously signed the document.

The declaration echoed comments made by Abiy at a dinner hosted by Isaias late Sunday, where he said diplomatic, trade, transport and communications ties would be re-established and borders re-opened.

“We agreed that the airlines will start operating, the ports will be accessible, people can move between the two countries and the embassies will be opened,” Abiy said.

“We will demolish the wall and, with love, build a bridge between the two countries,” he said.

Abiy left Asmara after signing the joint agreement on Monday.

What are your kids watching?

Onoshe Nwabuikwu
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, July 8, 2018.

Onoshe Nwabuikwu

The kids are home or will soon be home for the summer holidays or what we used to call 'long vacation. So, it's that time of the year and we get to have this conversation again. On one hand, parents are happy that the kids are home. On the other hand, how best to occupy or entertain them is a real and pressing challenge. Add the fact that some children will end up spending up to seven or more weeks at home and you can picture some parents feeling the 'long' in the long vacation.

My immediate concern of course is what kids watch on television. Do you know what your children are watching on TV? Are they watching programmes/films/shows appropriate for their ages? This would mean that you - the parents - know what's appropriate.

Knowing what's age-appropriate has been made easier by satellite/cable television since most shows have the ratings displayed. I always remind parents that those ratings are not just designs on the screen; they serve as guidance. However, you also have a right to decide what's appropriate for your own kids. Just because a programme is rated a certain age category does not mean you, the parent, shouldn't decide whether it's appropriate for your child/ren.

That's the easier part. What about stations on terrestrial TV, which don't have ratings? Not only that, they are not always sensitive to when kids could be watching TV. Surely, it's not so impossible for TV stations to actually have a holiday programme schedule? After all, summer holidays come every year.

Still making parents' lives more interesting is the fact that TV has fast moved from the good old box in the living room to all kinds of devices at kids' fingertips. The typical Nigerian parent, especially those who want to show they've 'arrived', buys the latest gadgets for their kids. So, in addition to knowing the content of what your kids are watching on TV, think iPads, smartphones and laptops, too.

At the end of the day, parents do have the most important task of ensuring that their kids watch clean TV. It isn't that they have to turn policemen. Even that would not be enough to keep kids from all the sleaze on the airwaves. A good plan is carrying the children along. As clichéic and Nigerianese as that sounds, it simply means letting the kids know the risks involved in watching certain programmes etc.

This should be an ongoing conversation which should also entrust some of the responsibilities of doing the right thing on the children. And it actually helps to begin this conversation/negotiation as early as possible. The idea is that you're not helpless and should not be a hapless receptor of garbage disguised as entertainment.

'It was my chance to give him a sex education!'

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, July 1, 2018.
Written by Bunmi Sofola

WHAT unbridled passion could make a woman seduce a lad? Isn't every gangling boy's fantasy, luring a matured woman to bed for his first and subsequent sexual experiences? Ironically,there are women out there who find unfettered lads attractive. Nora was one of them-until she got her fingers burnt. A divorced mother of two lovely boys, by age 36, she'd been divorced but living in her own house with a couple of cars to complement her life-style. "When I met Veron two years ago, he'd just finished with his OND and was on his year working experience-and he was serving it at a friend's office," said Vera. "He had no job description-he was more of a man-Friday who did odd jobs. When I visited this friend of mine on this fateful day, I was feeling really famished and she quickly sent Veron to get us some food to eat.

"I teased him about being very young with a lot of girl-friends, but he smiled shyly. He said he'd soon be 24- but his body-over 6ft, broad shoulders and slim hips, screamed sexuality. He once let it slip that he was still a virgin and I showed surprise. Was he kidding? Then I felt excited-to this day, I'd never know why. It would be quite a pleasure teaching him a trick or two about sex. It would be a teacher/pupil fantasy. My chance to give him sex education. Afterall, it's a belief that women hit their sexual peak in their 30s, and men 20s…. We'd be in perfect sync. Lust had kicked in.

"My first son was to be 12 a couple of weeks later and I invited him to attend. He hung around till the end of the party. He was a bit tipsy by this time. That might have encouraged his next move-afterall I didn't exactly hide the fact I found him attractive. As soon as we were alone, he pulled me to him and kissed me hard. I was a bit embarrassed, I'd forgotten his inexperience and quickly offered him more drinks before sending him on his way. I told him to come back the next day when the children would be at their grandma's.

"The next day, as soon as I led him to the bedroom he dived into the bed, quickly peeling off his clothes. As I stripped to my silky undies, he was virtually quivering. Was it from passion? Nerves? Quietly, I plotted how to approach this shy, inexperienced man meeting up with a woman who'd promised him sex. Of course, I was nervous because I wanted his first time… to feel special. 'I love you…' he whispered. Of course he didn't, I told myself. Every strapping lad wants sex, lots of it. Well, just like me! And so it started-the education of Veron. By the time I sent him home, he'd gained a life-time experience. My friends found it hilarious when I told them. They warned it wouldn't last. But who cared? This wasn't about love, it was animal passion.

Rub-a-dub master, Ras Kimono dies at 60

~TheGuardian Nigeria. Monday, June 11, 2018

Ras Kimono

Ras Kimono, a giant of Nigerian music for over three decades, has passed away. He died yesterday morning. Born on May 9, 1958 to parents from Delta State, he recently celebrated his 60th birthday amidst fanfare.
Respected for being a dogged fighter and stickler to perfection, the late musician, performed with top reggae artistes such as, Shaggy, Shaba Ranks, Lee Perry, the late Lucky Dube, Culture, Inna Circle, Steve Wonder, Eve and K.C. and JoJo and a host of others.

He developed his own style of root reggae music that skillfully blended his African roots with classical Jamaican rhythm. This unique genre took him out of the country, where he played in major concerts in the United States, England, Italy, Kenya, Ghana and Papua New Guinea where his Benson and Hedges stadium concerts attracted a record average of 45,000 people per concert.

The last time he visited The Guardian office; he brimmed in confidence, promising to change the trend of music in the country.

He was dressed in a white top, with green, black, yellow and white stripes. He had a blue jean trouser, with brown trainers. His beret was green, yellow and red. He had eyeglasses on. Looking every inch younger, except for the frame that had grown heavier.

"Our music is growing. My only disappointment is that nobody is playing live music anymore. Everybody is miming and that's not good for professional instrumentalists in the music industry," he said.

He continued, tThe problem with youths here is that they are always looking for easy way out to make quick money. Sometimes, you will see young guys come up to say to you, 'uncle I'm into music'. He gives you what he has done, and you will be surprised that the music has no quality, and that it is not done out of passion, but just for the money. They are always seeking easy money and fame. Since there is easy access to laptop and keyboard, you can programme what you want to. To make it worse, a lot of TV stations play these songs. You are now forced to ask what is National Broadcasting Commission doing and why there are no Not To Be Broadcast (NTBB) tag on them. Some of the lyrics are vulgar and are played on air and NBC is not doing anything about it. In the US, there are club versions and radio version. They just do one version and this is what is played on air. Easy lyrics. Some of the youths, who play this music don't have conscience. Give them four to five years and they will fade out completely."

Where exactly are the wife materials?!

Diary of a Divorced City Girl by Emmanuel Okogba
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, June 17, 2018.

HAVE you noticed it's taking men a long time to settle down these days and make an honest woman of one of the 'catches' they always have on the leash? When Joseph hit his 30s, I often counselled him on the advantages of settling down and having all his children whilst he was young. "What's the hurry," he always told me.
A suave gentleman with a good job and a nice to-die-for pad, he believed it wouldn't be an effort to meet a partner when he was good and ready to settle down. He recently hit 40, and a dad to an adorable son whose mother doesn't want to get married! "I couldn't really believe it when she told me", Joseph said, scandalised. "I was too old for her? Too old?

She was in her mid 20s, when we met and already had a child.

"When she became pregnant, I grudgingly decided to ask her to be my wife thinking she would be grateful to have a stepfather for her child. She was also for it at first, but after she had the child, she told me she didn't think I was financially buoyant enough to look after her and two children. That her furniture business was doing well and she would rather be on her own. I was free to visit my son any time I wished and contribute to his upbringing. I was speechless. Not even my mother could talk her round. She's put a big dent in my self-esteem, I tell you! I'm now 40 and don't think I'll ever have a genuine girlfriend to make my wife. I want to settle down and have children by one woman. As things are now, it seems I've mucked up and made a mess of my future. It's true I loved clubbing and each weekend, I'd take home a different girl and we'd have a great time.


"I was young and all I wanted was sex and more sex and I didn't see anything wrong with what I was doing – that was until now. To my embarrassment, I've discovered, that no decent girl will come near me. Yes, I do get girls, but they've been around a bit, and I've slept with most of them. Just before the end of the year, I went to an office and met a lot of girls having a natter. It so happened that, out of the seven of them, I'd slept with five.

"They greeted me warmly but I was shaking in my shoes with embarrassment. I was sure that as soon as I left, they'd be having a good gossip at my expense! I don't want that kind of life again. I know its' my fault that I suddenly found myself out of the market. I mean, I never dreamt I would get involved with a single mother, not to think of such a person giving me the elbow!