Are today's women trying to out-do men in quest for sex?

~Vanguard, Nigeria.

ARE today's women trying to out-do the men in their quest for sex? When we accuse some men of being lechers, isn't their success to do with the connivance of their 'victims'? When I came across a recent story of the nightmare a young man.

Andy said he went through in the hands of her fiancee's mum and grandma, I was lost for words. According to him: "I had a wonderful fiancee and we were saving up to rent a flat together. I was very happy with my life. Then something happened to change that.

"It began when my fiancee asked me to help her decorate her mother's house. We both took the day off work and threw ourselves into the job. Halfway through, she got a phone call from the office, asking her to go in. I felt bad leaving her mum to decorate alone, so I offered to stay and finish it off. I worked hard all day. My fiancee's mum was delighted and suggested toasting her new-look home with a drink. She opened a bottle of wine. We both had a couple of glasses and I began to feel tipsy. What happened next took me by surprise. One minute we were admiring the room, the next we were kissing passionately. We stumbled upstairs to the bedroom and into bed...

"A little while later, I heard a creaking sound. I glanced up to see my fiancee's grandmother popping her head round the door. She looked shocked but put her finger to her lips, then disappeared. Her daughter didn't notice a thing. A few minutes went by, then the front door opened and shut loudly and we heard my fiancee's grandmother calling hello. Her daughter leapt out of bed, threw her clothes on and told me to come down in 10 minutes. I did as she asked and said I'd better be off. My fiancee's grandmother insisted on giving me a lift. I couldn't refuse.

Beware! Too much sex can make you miserable

Written by Tunde Ajaja - Nigeria. 

Sexual intercourse is no doubt one of the key obligations in marriage. It is a pleasurable act that both men and women enjoy.

Apart from the enjoyment, excitement and mind-blowing ecstasy that come with it, sex has also been said to be of great benefits to the body.

Some people, under the guise of the pleasure and benefits, have made it a daily affair; turning it to 'food' that must be taken every day and anytime opportunity presents itself.

But, despite the numerous benefits of sex, especially in marriage, a study has shown that having too much of it could make people miserable. It does appear that the common saying that too much of everything is bad is also applicable to sex, regardless of how exciting it could be.

The study explained that too much sex could lead to a reduced sexual drive and pleasure derivable from it and that any attempt to continue with it could make such person(s) miserable.

The researchers from Carnegie Mellon University in the United States found that the connection between sex and happiness is not as direct as it seems.

In the course of the study, reviewed by Mail Online, 128 married persons between the age of 35 and 65 were divided into two groups. The first group was instructed to have more sex and double the number of times they have sexual intercourse weekly, while the second group received no instruction on how much sex they should have. Thus, they were allowed to initiate it on their own.

While the observation lasted, the participants in the two groups were also questioned on their happiness levels, the frequency of their intercourse, their health behaviours and how much they enjoyed sex.

Ghana: Pregnant woman commits suicide after finding husband having sex with her pregnant mother

~Tribune, Nigeria

A pregnant Ghanaian woman has committed suicide after finding her husband having sex with her own mother, who had who was also pregnant, it has been claimed.

The unidentified woman is understood to have returned home early from a shopping trip to find her husband and her mother having sex in the married couple's bed.

Shortly afterwards, the woman was said to have discovered that her mother's pregnancy was the result of her secret relationship with the same husband.

Devastated at their betrayal, the pregnant wife was said to have jumped from the roof of her apartment building, dying as a result of her injuries in hospital later the same day.

Details of the tragedy were revealed by Inquisitr.com, citing several sources.

It is understood that the woman's mother and husband had been having an affair for some time and that their secret relationship was only discovered when the wife caught them in act of having sex.

While still trying to come to terms with the double betrayal, the woman suffered further humiliation when she learned that her mother had actually become pregnant as a result of the affair.

Shattered by the news, the woman decided to take her own life despite being pregnant herself.

According to a police report seen by Inquisitr, the woman actually survived the initial leap from her apartment building but died later in the hospital as a result of her injuries.

The tragic story comes just months after a Zimbabwean woman named Tsitsi Zhou-Usiku discovered her mother having sex with her businessman husband in the village of Madhau.

Erina Zhou, 40, and son-in-law, Tsiku Usiku, 51, later appeared in court charged with adultery.

Revenge sex is never the smart thing to have!

~ Vanguard

Revenge sex – done purely to get back at someone who's hurt you – rarely pays off even though it sounds great in theory. Your partner cheated on you; why not get your own back by cheating on them so they can see how it feels to get hurt? Deolu found it out the hard way that bonking other women because his girlfriend hurt him brought him a lot of mystery. "It put me into an awful situation and I don't know how to get out of it", he admitted.

"My girlfriend and I have been an item for nine months now and everything was going on well except for one thing – she's a chronic flirt and she always flirts with one of my best friends who is more good -looking than I am. Her flirting really gets to me that when I met one of her friends at a party where I was very drunk, I flirted with her to get even. The girl ended up following me into an empty bedroom, came onto me and we ended up having sex. I mean, what man wouldn't if it was offered to him on such a platter? I didn't really intend taking things that far but I was drunk, like I said earlier, and just went along with it.

"You can then imagine how dumfounded I was when this girl went back to the part and told my girlfriend what happened. Apparently my girlfriend once stole one of her boyfriends a few years ago and it was pay-back sex for her. Well, it was the same for me – I only did it to get at my girlfriend for flirting with my best friend but now it's all a mess. I managed to convince my girlfriend that her friend was lying but you can tell she doesn't trust me anymore. How I wish I could win her trust back …. ".

Have you ever heard of so much revenge sex going on within a short period? Deolu slept with his girlfriend's friend to get even with her for flirting; the friend slept with Deolu to get even with Deolu's friend for stealing her boyfriend years before. Just how childish can you get? 

Orgasm makes people reveal top secrets - Experts

Written by Tunde Ajaja - Nigeria

Getting a partner to reveal a (deep) secret seems to have gone beyond the conventional ways, such as intense persuasion, optimism, kneeling down, gift sharing, nice treat and even a promise of reward, among others.

There seems to be an easier, sweeter, cheaper and more affordable way to get a partner to share such secrets. A study carried out by some scientists from the University of Connecticut, United States, showed that having orgasm during sex could make people to reveal important information, like their deepest secrets.

Notably, it is not uncommon to hear people having sex say things that they would not have said ordinarily or make promises that they might not even remember after that session, possibly due to the ecstatic feeling associated with sex. Perhaps, this is the main reason why people say the worst time to ask if a partner loves you is during sex.

Orgasm, the principal word in the findings of the study, is the climax of sexual excitement, characterised by intensely pleasurable feelings centred in the genitals and (in men) experienced as an accompaniment to ejaculation.

Both men and women can reach orgasm, maybe at different times, because men have been found to reach that euphoric destination in a shorter time than women do, and theirs, according to findings, might require some additional efforts like clitoral stimulation.

Regardless, with the findings of the study, it thus appears that there is no end to the benefits derivable from sex. This is because previous studies have pointed out that apart from procreation and the enormous pleasure that sex offers, it is a good form of exercise.

Right sexual thought pattern

Written by Funmi Akingbade - Nigeria

 Funmi Akingbade

Our society is wired in a way that makes an average couple think that a soul pleasing sex is beyond their reach; maybe such couples should disabuse their minds and make a rethink. 

An intense and fulfilling sex life begins with a man's or a woman's thought pattern and general life's attitude. Actually sex is designed in a way that each time any married partner remembers sex, the mere thought of it should instantly produce a warmth feeling towards their spouse. It should create a raw spark and produce an immediate arousal and sexual escapades expectations. But ironically, it is most time the other way round, because many married lovers never really remember having any satisfactory sexual moment with their spouse. Their warm feelings and anticipation to have sex is either towards their secret lovers, or their one night stand involvement with a call girl, or their fantasy with a porn movie star or secret heart affair/ sexual adventure with a new sex partner.

But I can tell you authoritatively that it is not only within a couple's power to have a passionate, stimulating and fulfilling sex life, but it is also their responsibility to make it a reality. The more prepared and active a partner is in seeking and giving pleasure to his or her mate, the more he or she will get thrilling and revitalizing sex in return. Some couples say "oh I can't even remember the last time we made exceptional or unforgettable love." 

Hmmm if that is the case, just stop for a moment and drop all you are doing and just for a moment think about making passionate, hot and juicy call to your spouse right now and you will be amazed how aroused, ready and overwhelming you will be right away!!! You see!!!

'Never Knew Such Men Existed Till I Had A Personal Experience With My Husband'

~The Guardian

I was 21 years of age when I gained admission into the university in the Western region of Nigeria. Before then was when I met this man I am married to now. He has, if not all, the best quality any good man would have: God- fearing, intelligent, handsome to mention but a few. Even with the little he had he made sure he shared them with me. After he graduated and served, he got a job and further trained me in the university. He proposed to me in my second year and we finally got married in my final year in school.

The devil played his part during this period. There was this guy I was seeing. At first, I only took him as a friend. Along the line, he said he wouldn't mind being a fling and the result was that I got pregnant for this guy even though I just got married. I was so confused that I didn't know what to do, and I couldn't tell anybody, even my friend, because I could not just trust anybody. And terminating it would not be an option. I had to tell my husband I was pregnant for him even though I knew I was committing a very big sin.

The right sexual gestures

Written by Funmi Akingbade - Nigeria

 Funmi Akingbade

One of the major challenges facing a typical today's couple is how to send the right gesture and get the best of their spouse when it comes to sexual fulfillment. As much as many couples want sexual harmony, the hold of culture, norms and tradition is a major inhibition. Do you want to put your lover in the same sexual frequency signal you are in right now? Well, it will help to communicate the fact that you want sex sooner than later to your mate, in a way that will get him or her as fired up as you are. There is one major undeniable fact, both men and women love to feel lusted after, and many get an erotic jolt just from hearing their partner confess that they are 'on heat' for their lover. Many wives are dying to hear their husbands say they look so sexy even after many child-births.

To many spouses, especially the ladies, the idea of just 'ordering' her to bed and demanding for conjugal right may drain every sexual feeling for the next few weeks. A husband that is under pressure to meet up with some official, financial, health or marital challenges may never respond to repetitive nagging from the wife over the fact that he is neglecting his sexual responsibility. A better and wiser approach can just be a whispering into your partner's ear that he or she is incredibly sexy, looking good, best wife of the year, incomparable husband and you want desperately to get him or her naked.... Just say something you are certain he or she will NEVER resist. Please don't trouble yourself thinking about how he or she would take such words. That is why you have to make it a habit to know your spouse. The better you know your partner, the more likely you will hit the right notes. Those words with well-executed touching and tantalising visual signals should be able to create a sizzling and heavy atmosphere.

Do not jump to sex immediately but watch how your partner responds to your advances. This will help give you a clue as to whether they are good to go, or need some time to get there. If they pull away or stop your hands, you know they need to be seduced more slowly. You don't have to be aggressive; seducing playfully but blatantly and deliberately can be very effective. Planning and executing sexual ambush with a loving attitude heap loads of sexual satisfaction on either party.

When vagina needs a 'tightening'

by Nkarenyi Ukonu - Nigeria

A corrective vaginal surgery used to be a domain of women with vaginal 'structural defects'. Nowadays, it is often seen as purely a cosmetic treatment which can make the genital part of the body look much younger, feel much tighter and of course, more attractive.

Apart from these, it is believed that it also improves a woman's self esteem, represent solution to some aesthetic and aging problems and a way out of anxiety, depression and psychological stress.

There are basically two methods of correcting this supposed anomaly: through vaginoplasty, a reconstructive and corrective plastic surgery procedure for correcting the defects and deformities of the vaginal canal, its mucous membrane, and of vulvo-vaginal structures that might be absent or damaged because of some congenital diseases or acquired disease such as cancer.

I get over 100 suitors daily -Popular hairy lady, Queen Okafor

FRIDAY OLOKOR (Punch Nigeria) writes about Queen Okafor, popularly known as Nigerian Queen of hairs

Queen Okafor

In Africa, traditional beliefs cannot be wished away, even though it is generally believed that change is constant. Some tribes in Nigeria view women with excessive hair as a taboo.

But this belief does not strike a chord in Queen Okafor, a native of Nnobi in Idemili South Local Government Area, Anambra State.

Seeing her for the first time evokes mixed feelings about her gender. This is mainly because of the hairs which adorn her breasts, chest, face and other parts of her body.

This special feature stands her out in public and wherever she goes. For some of her fans, Queen, a graduate of Environmental Health Science, is the most hairy woman in Nigeria, although no competent source has verified the claim.

Little wonder she describes herself as "Nigerian Queen of hairs."

Okafor said she got no fewer than 100 suitors daily on the average, depending on the place she visits.

She said, "I get not less than 100 suitors and admirers everyday depending on the occasion. Married and single men, boys, girls, lesbians and gay men are attracted to me. But I can't accept every person that approaches me because people are very deceptive.

"Some men will tell me that they are not married, whereas they are married with children at home. I am not married, but I intend to get married one day because that is the prayer of every woman, but definitely not to a married man. If God answers my prayers, I will be happy to be married to a businessman that will love me and not be one that will beat me."

Her comments seem to stem from the fallout of a previous relationship. She however said, "No man has ever dumped or disappointed me, I can tell you that. I fell in love with one man immediately after my secondary school. He was fond of beating me because he was very temperamental and that informed my decision to quit the relationship."

She spoke about another failed love encounter.

Sex: How much do you know?

Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) remain a major public health challenge in many countries of the world. In Nigeria, many factors, including cultural and economic challenges make effective taming of STDs difficult. Coupled with these are the challenges of social stigmatisation, education and lack of access to accurate diagnosis and treatment.

Recent health reports indicate that there is a rise in the transmission of STDs, especially Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea and Syphilis and the two most affected groups are young people between the ages of 17-25 and older people between 45 and 65.

The most vulnerable of these groups of course remain women who suffer more devastating effects from these diseases. Most worrisome is the fact that many of the infections are also asymptomatic, meaning that unless tested directly or at advanced stages, they may go undetected by their carriers.

Unfortunately, sex is an acquired art and training will lasts through the course of a life time. Acquiring all the knowledge required about sex and sexual health has nothing to do with age as even many adults have been found wanting in this area. Today, I have decided to assist us juggle our memories or update our information on the subject. Do have a wonderful weekend!

Myth: A girl can't get pregnant or a guy can't get a girl pregnant if: you have sex standing up; the girl is on top; you have sex in a hot tub or a swimming pool; you jump up and down immediately after sex; the girl douches, takes a bath, or urinates immediately after sex; it's your first time; you're both virgins; the guy pulls out before he ejaculates or if he doesn't go all the way in; the girl doesn't have an orgasm; the guy and the girl don't orgasm at the same time; the girl pushes really hard on her belly button after sex; or the girl makes herself sneeze for fifteen minutes after sex; if a girl is having a period; or she has never had a period; if the girl or guy drinks lemon based sodas.

Q & A: She lured me into sex

Written by Kemi Ashefon - Punch, Nigeria

I am 32 and I met a girl when she came for training in my office. I never had any feeling for her during the three months. Suddenly, a mysterious affair just started and she lured me into having sex with her anywhere and even forcefully on my office chair! She stopped coming to the office for training but I continued with her like a drunk. I must have been under an influence but I came to my senses, fought with her and called off the affair after two months and two weeks. I thought she was out of my life but she sent her sister's husband to beg me and a month later, she told me that she was pregnant. I never denied paternity. That was six months ago. Honestly, I don't love her and she is not my taste in everything. In fact, I hate her but they are trying to force her on me. She is like a stigma in my life. Help! What do I do?

M.H,

Lagos.

We all have to pay for our actions. You slept with her and even agreed the pregnancy is yours, so where are you running to? I think you should make your point known to this lady and her family- you can have the baby when it's born but let them have the lady. Mind you, you have to take care of her and her baby by sending money and other items. On the other hand, you could have a second thought and marry her but with this feeling of yours, she won't be happy. Never marry out of pity. It is a pointer to a divorce in future.

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Why we have sex

Written by Yetunde Arebi - Nigeria  

Sex, since the history of man or human evolution has gone through several changes, even in terms of definition and form and the individuals engaging in it. Once upon a time, sex was thought to be primarily for reproductive reasons, then for the relief of sexual tension and later, for the sexual pleasure. Right from the explosive documentation of the Kama Sutra, various studies and experiences have been carried out by persons and institutions to unravel the mystery of human sexology and why, besides procreation, sex is important to mortal men and women.

From the researches of Alfred Kinsey who is regarded as the father of sexology in the 40s and 50s to Masters and Johnson's famous researches on orgasms of the 60s and 70s, sex has become a subject of great interest to all.

Now, a research conducted by psychologists Cindy Meston and David Buss on why women have sex which is published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, the duo in their new book of the same title, have listed 237 reasons why women have sex with their partners.

Ranging from the mundane desires to experience physical pleasure; to the vengeful intentions of getting back at a cheating partner, the spiritual attempt to get closer to God, or the altruistic gesture of wanting a partner to feel good about themselves, Meston and Buss concluded that the motives for engaging in sexual intercourse may be larger in number than what most people think and psychologically complex in nature too.

Some of the reasons listed are quite glaring and practiced across societies and persons at various times, regardless of their marital status too. In fact, marital sex as well as long term relationships tend to be more complex than those in newer or non-commitment relationships. Just as a married woman may have a legion of reasons for not wanting to have sex, she just might have another gazillion on why she must have sex.

Incestous brothers and sisters!

Written By Emmanuel Edukugho

We are living in a complex and highly sophisticated society in which sexual intercourse is often taken for granted not only among individuals unknown to each other, but even between family members and close relatives. Incidents of incest, defined as "having sexual relations or activity with close family members", are common today all over the world, but not often reported. That presents a dilemma.

Incest is not only a taboo but also illegal. Different kinds of incest exist - one is when a father and daughter, or step father and step daughter engage in sexual relationship. This kind of incest has been the most reported worldwide. But in Nigeria, incest between fathers and daughters is hardly reported because nobody wants such a story to be heard outside the family.

Incest in Nigeria is kept often as a "family secret", not to be reported to the relevant authorities.

However, some fathers and stepfathers abuse their daughters and stepdaughters on regular basis, while victims are unable to do anything about it. Even when a mother knows what is going on, she tries to put an end to it in her own way, but rarely reports the matter to the authorities, for fear of being stigmatized.

Wives and mistresses

Let's take a look at your underwear drawers. Let's see what you've got in there; black, white things, full pants, full-cup bras with wide straps. Slips that are brown and body shapers without frills and lace. Don't tell me I'm right, ma'am? 

Your under wears are actually in those colours? Geez, you are the 'BORING WOMAN of the Year'. Practical underwears are boring because underwears are not supposed to be boring. They are supposed to be titillating, exciting, sexy. So, because you are a wife now, you think your man's senses have retired? If only you know. But since you think neat and practical knickers are the best wife -investment since economic meltdown, let's take a trip somewhere.

Here's what a mistress' lingerie closet looks like. First, it's scented. Then the colours are peach, sweet pink, sexy red, valentine lilac, mesmerising orange, drowsy blue, lip-smacking orange. There are g-strings and thongs . She wears full panties too but hers have hooks that 'he' can undo with his eyes closed and bows that he can loosen with his teeth before he moves on to the heart of the matter. A mistress' bras have supports that support her cause and case but they can be unhooked from the front in one swift move. Even when it is a full-cup, it offers no resistance. The half-cup ones are unmanned borders, very porous.

She used her friend's teenage son as her sex toy!

Written By Bunmi Sofola - Nigeria

Nkechi, a divorced mother of three boys was at work when Benson, her partner rang her mobile. "I need to talk to you urgently", he said. "What for?" joked Nkechi, "can't wait till we both get home?" "This is serious darling," Benson said, "I don't want you to hear this from any of the boys.

Last night, when Christabel stayed over at the guest room she had sex with Chris". "You've got to be joking", Nkechi gasped. Chris was her eldest, and only 17, and her friend from college was 42, also divorced.

Nkechi went on: "Benson explained that while both of us were asleep, Christabel had encouraged Chris and his 15-year old brother to have some beer with her. When Benson got up to use the loo, he said he heard moaning noises coming from the guest room where Christabel was supposed to be sleeping. He'd peeped to find her in bed with my son. As soon as she saw Ben, she acted shocked and spluttered she couldn't believe she had a 17-year-old lad in her bed!

Unhappy about your manhood? Lose some weight!

Written by Bukola Adebayo - Nigeria

The outcome of a 2015 study by scientists at the Kings College, London, has brought to the spotlight the discourse about the safety of drugs used to treat erectile dysfunction and penis enhancers.

The scientists in the largest study on this subject matter, who used the data of over 15,000 men from 20 studies, discovered that the size of a man's penis could affect his levels of satisfaction during sex on the basic level.

They are, however, quick to note that it's only the psychological perception of the man with the less than average size of penis that is affected. Not that they actually did not get any pleasure from sex. Rather, according to the study, 55 per cent of the men were dissatisfied with the length and size of their penis.

Let's face it, many men worry at times about the size of their penis, and also nurse the notion that they may not measure up to their partners' expectation because of this.

Doctors say it is a big problem because most men that have this challenge are less likely to seek advice from the physician on this subject. They are less likely to confide in their spouses either. But they are most likely to turn to the Internet or seek the counsel of quacks, who will always dangle 'solutions' for it.

Poor men love big-breasted women than rich men -Study

Written by Tunde Ajaja - Nigeria

It is not for nothing that some men skip their breaths on sighting women with big breasts, so, it is no news that men like buxom ladies while others prefer those who are less endowed in that region.

Suffice it to say that it is one of those things that can soften a 'strong' man's heart. Previous studies have also shown that on realizing how attracted men are to their priced body parts, some women now use them as a powerful weapon to get whatever they want. "Men are 'extremely' drawn to breasts," one of the studies said.

So the question is, why are men so obsessed with breasts and why is it that some men tend to be confused, misbehave or even take bad decisions when confronted with breasts or breast-related stimuli, like bras?

This is certainly a question many would scratch their head before answering, not necessarily because they are too shy to say it but because many don't know; they just can't explain why. However, scientists have said men are just helpless when it comes to the issue of breasts because the attraction is borne out of nature, meaning, they just cannot help but love them.

Two scientists, Larry Young and Brian Alexander, believe that heterosexual men are so fascinated by women's breasts due to oxytocin, a simple hormone released during nursing or breastfeeding, which helps to forge the powerful bond between mother and baby. It also creates an evolutionary drive for a strong nurturing bond between lovers.

Now that it has been established that a man's fascination with the breasts is an unconscious evolutionary drive that has been ingrained from birth, it seems interesting to know that a man's economic status influences the size of breasts he prefers in women, according to some scientists.

They found through a study that poor, hungry men substantially love women with big breasts while financially secure men prefer those with smaller breasts. This means the amount of money a man earns has a lot to do with the size of breasts he prefers.

This implies that beyond good looks, and other things that attract men in women, the size of the woman's breasts is also a factor to consider.

Is it healthy to have sex during menstruation?

Written by Monica Taiwo - Tribune, Nigeria

Tessy and Ruth were arguing about a normal phenomenon; the monthly period. Tessy's husband wouldn't mind having sex with her during her monthly flow. She doesn't like it; she feels it is the dirtiest thing a woman can do, but of course, she cannot say no to her husband as her refusal at the early stage of their marriage led to quarrels.

She told Ruth that she would rather close her eyes, do the needful and pretend it was happening to someone else than risk a quarrel or misunderstanding with her husband.

Ruth in her own case doesn't mind as long as her husband is game. But her husband wouldn't even share the same bed with her when she is in her monthly period. He is one of those who believe a woman's monthly period is dirty and she should be left alone when she is at it.

According to Dr Lolade Taiwo, of Babcock Teaching Hospital, she said that, medically, a woman having sex on your period is absolutely safe. The myth that it is dangerous originates largely from the religious point of view. Many people wrongly believed that women were "dirty" or "unclean" while menstruating, and for this reason, contact with menstruating women was limited or forbidden entirely. In fact, some religion still adhere to these practices; however, medically and secularly speaking, there is no reason not to have sex on your period

In fact, sex during menstruation can help ease the symptoms of Pre-Menstrual Syndrome (PMS). Many women say that orgasms can ease their cramps and the orgasmic contractions of the uterus offer a soothing internal massage.

Sex after forty, can it be better all the time?

Written by Funmi Akingbade -PUNCH, Nigeria

Many couples start experiencing a form of major shift sexually as age tells on them, and they get worried, discouraged and even depressed when they are becoming weaker as they age.

As men advance in age, they may experience a slower erection process. The muscle contractions during orgasm may not be as intense but they're still pleasurable. Although it generally takes longer to ejaculate, ejaculation needs not occur every time. But the benefit of this is that it helps the man to have a better staying power, which allows for more prolonged lovemaking. Also after menopause, many women sometimes find it more difficult to become lubricated. The vaginal tissue may become thin, caused by a loss of oestrogen and intercourse may be painful. But notwithstanding, many women find out they are more sensitive to touch as they grow older and are more easily aroused.

Most people who have had good sex continue to have it until they are hit by a troublesome ailment. You don't have to assume that you must give up sex as a result of age-related health problems such as arthritis, backaches, muscle pain. All you have to do is discuss any debilitating disorders with your family doctor and also a sex therapist and learn to work around them. For instance, if a wife suffers from thinning skin in the vagina due to menopause and old age, she and her husband should make sure that she inserts the penis just to avoid being hut unintentionally. If your body, energy level and interests change, don't cling to established sexual patterns. You and your spouse should experiment with new ways of satisfying each other, including new positions. A sex therapist can be helpful.

Sexual problems that occur with aging are more often psychological than physical. People think getting older isn't "sexy" or that "nobody has sex at my age."

Once you start thinking that it is inappropriate to be sexually active, you stop taking responsibility for your sex life, and you cut yourself off from the enjoyment of sex.

Many people recall their sexuality at puberty and (unwisely) use this as their sexual norm. Important: The only "norm" is whatever is right for you at a particular time in your life. Don't assume that one disappointing day means you're "too old to do it anymore" and panicking. The greater the panic, the worse it gets. Men become impotent and women are unable to reach orgasm. Result: They avoid sex altogether.

Sexual satisfaction depends on your overall relationship with your spouse and this is much more important than most couples think.

For instance, if you are bored with your spouse, it is unlikely that he/she will excite you.

If your sex life begins to falter, ask yourself why you are turning yourself off. People rarely are turned off by outside factors; they usually do it to themselves.

Good way to turn yourself on again: Make a list. Using age as an excuse to avoid facing problems will get you nowhere.