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The effects of sexual frustration

~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, March 31, 2019

The concept of having to deal with a sexually frustrated person has never occurred to yours truly as a
disease entity. However, several weeks ago, a man who is not even a skilled worker brought me face to face with an entirely new concept of illness and the facts unearthed were very profound. The sexually frustrated individual is that person who because of certain peculiarities within their body is unable to enjoy the sexual act. They are not satisfied by any act because of some attributes that they have. Some of these people have deformed organs or inadequately developed organs and are unable as a consequence to copulate. They are agitated persons because they do not have good sex, cannot complete a sexual encounter and consequently lack sex. Such people are nearly universally frustrated and the frustration they feel is the gap between the people's desired sexual goals and their actual achievement. Some of these persons may even be hermaphrodites, being that they have both male and female sex organs.

The individual who led me on this fact-finding mission is a security man. The jovial man is a dutiful sentry at the main gate of a large company dealing in oil products. The three women who drove up to the gate had no appointment according to the security man and the women in turn had no reason to be verbally abusive because the gentleman was doing his job. There is no derogatory term they did not use on him and he stood there emphasizing that he would not let them in. The women were all in their mid-forties and wore human hair and loud make-up. They looked a bit crazy too and talked in a rough manner. The security man was careful not to provoke a scene since he could not entirely be certain who within the company they knew.

However, when the noise and abuse became unbearable, he faced them calmly and told them they were sexually frustrated women. He said further that they should look for good men to teach them some bedroom lessons so that their heads could cool down. He hit a raw nerve: the women were at first stunned into silence. Then they got into their Sport Utility Vehicle and drove away.

A few weeks later, one remembered the incident and decided to do an online search. The findings were profound enough to provoke this essay. Yes, there is such a concept and yes, there are related health challenges associated with its presence in our lives. It is important to know that no two people have the same sexual desires and tastes, not even among identical twins. Some people want a lot of it and others less. And this is when the male genitals and the female counterpart are normal and able to function in the way they are supposed to function. It is a present feature in every marriage and the effects can be quite profound. For that reason, it is not universally found to be a problem which certain medications can solve. In many cases, no drugs would help them deal with the issue. There are many hurdles to cross before the men, most commonly become afflicted with erectile dysfunction which progressively takes away the excitement surrounding sex. In some situations, one partner may assume that there is sufficient sex in the relationship and could develop problems not being able to understand why the other party whines about not having enough of it.

Worse still, is when there is a distinct paucity of orgasms. This can be very troublesome to deal with and it is even made worse in our kind of society where women remain repressed and largely unable to effect a proper sexual expression. When such people are unable to obtain release either via masturbation or the watching of adult films, mental, physical and emotional problems can be the result.

Those people who love sex and may develop an addictive personality could exchange such sexual pleasures with some other compulsive thing. Such people could turn to food or sweet snacks or smoking and do so in such overwhelming ways that the new habit becomes a health problem. Such people are liable to fly into a jealous rage which can be very unsparing even to old friends and buddies. They would believe that they are lacking something important in their relationship and would fly into a rage when their partner shows even a bit of affection to someone they both know. It is worse when one party does not even know the recipient of the new attention.

A sexually frustrated person will almost certainly develop personality problems. It begins from the home, within the relationship. There develops some level of coolness to the person who is perceived as being responsible for causing the sexual starvation. The resulting state of affairs does not engender the development of an ambient environment and certain emotional stresses then result. In the end, the entire situation is aggravated. Marital disharmony results and within a family setting that still has young children; they are psychologically affected in a negative way. Besides, people in such relationships develop some irrational anxieties that often deprive them of the ability to dispassionately view events around them. Sleeping could become a problem with the resulting insomnia relying on sedatives to obtain sleep. They develop intense jealousies which occasionally lead to harm, injury or tragedy. In some cases, these feelings are wrong and the perception around it is consequentially wrong.

Some people are implacable in their opposition to many normal things that happen around us often for no properly articulated reasons. They develop undue nervousness to things around them and can be unbelievably aggressive. The level of aggression is often at variance with the immediate provocation and in some cases; those who dare to reason differently are routinely carpeted for even defending a particular position. As for those who substitute their flair for sexual things with other endeavours such as over-eating and binge drinking, adverse health effects can develop ranging from excessive weight gain to high blood pressure and diabetes. They are also more likely to develop depressive illness while others develop such a profound sense of worthlessness that they develop bulimia or suicidal thoughts and risky behaviour.

These stresses can be avoided surely and one of the most effective ways to achieve that is to communicate openly about the respective needs in a marriage, the fantasies if any and the agreed ways to deliver pleasure to one another. It pays to stay within the confines of a marriage as a way to build trust for when one partner fears that the other has several people they sleep with, there is less desire for sex. If such a behaviour pattern persists, sexual frustration gradually sets in and other consequences can often follow as seen above.

Ask the doctor
Dear doctor, I got your mobile from SUNDAY PUNCH. I am 22 years old. I do have vaginal discharge and when I went to do a scan, I was told I had Staphylococcus infection and I was treated. But recently, I started to have a whitish discharge again that is not too smelly but has a funny sort of smell after sex. What do I do please? 0902xxxxxxx
If what you did was the ultrasound alone, that is a false result you obtained. There is no way you could have been diagnosed with a staph infection on the basis of a scan. I would advise you to go to a proper hospital and get examined by doctors who will recommend what kind of tests you should conduct so that the treatment you get can be successful.
Dear doctor, I saw your number in SUNDAY PUNCH and I thought you might be of help to me. I am 22 years old and in the last four years, I have been battling with toilet infection. I went to see a doctor last year and he prescribed some drugs for me but right now, I feel something like a stone within my private part and my urine has an odour. Sir, what can I do or take to stop all this?

Thank you very much for your question. At four years, you have already wasted far too much time in getting rid of this infection. We have said repeatedly on this page that there is nothing like toilet infection. If there is a discharge in the genitals, it has occurred because there is an infection rather than being a result of what you might have caught in the toilet. You will require to see your doctor again and have the relevant tests done. Following that, the nature of the infection will be known and proper treatment that will also be effective can then be given. The most important thing in all this is the relevant follow-up. You will have to test and test repeatedly after each course of antibiotic treatment until no harmful bacteria are found in your vagina. It will cost you some money and it also takes time but it is worth it.

Dear doctor, thanks for the various articles SUNDAY PUNCH. My problem is an enlargement of one of my breasts. Being a male and over 70 years, it is worrisome. What remedy is there for me? Thanks. 
The kind of swelling which you have described is seen as a normal thing in males at different stages of life. In the male newborn, it is a fairly frequent occurrence. In the young boy going into puberty, it is a very frequent occurrence and it can also be seen in men of your age. It is not a problem as such because it is known to develop as a result of the changing relationship between two hormones, oestrogen and testosterone, at different stages of our lives. Besides, some medicines that you may be taking could similarly cause this kind of one sided breast growth. However, it is still a good thing to have a doctor examine that breast to be certain that nothing is growing inside it. Once that is resolved, the growth in the breast also commonly resolves on its own once you can avoid squeezing it and otherwise playing with it.

Dear doctor, I am a good reader of your column and above 57 years of age. Lately, I experienced weak erection which has never happened to me before. Please what drugs can you prescribe for me to maintain an erection when necessary? 
Thank you very much for that question. In the first place, the experience you had was only occurring for the first time. Therefore, it may just be a warning that sometime in the near future perhaps, such things could become routine. Therefore, for this singular occurrence I will simply urge patience and a close observation and this one might pass. You will qualify for the kind of drugs you seem to be demanding when this weak erection becomes a recurrent or persistent problem. At that time, you will need to see a doctor for some basic examination before you are started on such a drug programme.

Dear doctor, please, my son's lips are always peeling and blood then comes out of the broken part of the lips. I have given him Vitamin C but it does not stop. Please doctor, what can I give him again? Thank you sir. 
This is not a disease as such. Your son probably has naturally dry lips. All you need to do is to adequately lubricate his lips using Vaseline. Some other people might apply wet gloss but the result is the same. It is not a bad thing to take Vitamin C but that cannot treat this condition.

Dear doctor, your health advice has been of much help. My sister has a four-year-old son who can barely pronounce words that his playmates now use to play. For example, he cannot even pronounce 'S' at all. We are concerned about him and have been to see a doctor who said that his tongue is normal and there is nothing. What do we do now? 
Well, the tongue or the presence of a tight band under it called the frenulum is not the only reason why somebody may not speak clearly. If the doctor you saw has assured you that the tongue is normal, then it probably is normal. There are other reasons why a child may fail to talk early and do so properly. Sometimes, there is a difficult delivery following a prolonged type of labour in which oxygen is cut off from the baby soon after delivery leading to some brain damage. This can lead to a problem like this. The other situation is when a newborn baby develops severe jaundice and it damages the brain. Let him be examined by a paediatrician and then have the benefit of being treated by a speech therapist. There should be some improvement.

Dear doctor, for a while now, I always bring up mucus and also feel as though my nose is blocked even though I don't have a cold. I was asked to do an X-ray and it turned out to be Rhinitis. It was treated by my doctor in the office but the symptoms refused to clear and I then went to see an ENT surgeon and he said I had chronic rhinosinusitis.
He gave me loratadine, xylometazoline nasal drops and an antibiotic to use for about 10 days. I also did X-ray which showed rhinitis. I am done now with the medications but the symptoms are still there. The inferior turbinates in my nostrils are still swollen and now my right ear always feels blocked. He has given me another round of the same medications and kezitil for two weeks. I want to ask you what you think is the cause for all these and the reason it hasn't gone because I have been taking antibiotics since last year. 
I believe that having seen an ENT surgeon, you have done yourself an awful amount of good. That is the expert for issues like this. Sometimes, a harmless, non-cancerous growth within the nostrils may be responsible for problems like these. Perhaps further down the road, he could still ask you to do a CT scan of the sinuses which would give superior results of the problem compared to X-rays.


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