About Time You Knew Dad Too Had Something To Do With That Adorable New Baby!

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~vanguard nigeria. Sunday, April 15, 2018.

FINDINGS have shown that becoming a father is a major life event which changes family relationships, brings new responsibilities and has a major economic impact on the new parents.

Men have their own needs as new fathers, yet can also lack information about how they can support their partners. Michael 26, was totally unprepared for fatherhood when Sammy, his 23- year-old undergraduate wife suddenly discovered she was pregnant.

"Sammy and I had been together for two years when she got pregnant. She was studying to become a teacher and I'd just got a fairly good job after my youth service," explained Michael.

"Sammy told her parents and they informed mine. All of a sudden, wedding plans were being made – and it had to happen before the baby arrived. It didn't seem real. Marriage was the furtherest thought on my mind. I would have preferred we were both working but here was Sammy starting to look pregnant. Would our lives change much? Even though we both have caring families, my main worry was supporting the three of us on my new salary that was scarcely enough for my needs. Once in a while, I asked myself: 'What have I done?'

"The wedding was a blur – it was something I had to get over with. My worry now was the baby and how I'd cope with the birth. Would I let my new wife down by being too squeamish? In the end, our son's birth was the most powerful, moving event of my entire life. Like most new fathers, I was present at the birth and I'm not ashamed to admit I cried.

"When we brought the baby to our new flat, I felt a bit sidelined. The whole focus of both families was on the baby – and then my wife. No one seemed interested in me.

"It may sound selfish but my life had changed over-night too, and I had no idea what my new role was. I was a bit lost. Since then however, I've realised being a dad means getting on with it. And it's hard work, believe me. I had to learn to change nappies, prepare his food when he was weaned off breast milk and give him his bath when I could. We are lucky that our son is not one of the screamy type, still both of us are exhausted – no thanks to househelps who seem to up and go whenever they feel like it.

"But my wife and I are finding our feet, but I feel the pressure being the only wage earner. My mum and my wife's mum take turns looking after the baby when Sammy returned to schooL Her main worry is her post-baby stomach but I assure her always she looks good to me. Her body makes me love her even more – a proof she brought our child into the word. To be honest, I found the news I was going to be a dad scary and bewildering – but it is a wonderful experience. When my son, who now crawls all over the place, gives me his toothy smile, everything suddenly seems worth it. I know I have to do my best for him for the rst of my life. And that's something that comes naturally - eventually"!

She came to the rescue of a sister who was off sex!

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 28, 2018.

FAMILY comes in handy when you have problems you think are insurmountable. During the last general strike, a few of the staff made it to the office – out of boredom, I'm sure. What's more, their houses are a few `minutes' walk to the office. There was nothing to do really, so we just sat down and nattered, discussing everything under the sun with particular emphasis on relationships. "How many marriages do you think can survive without sex?" asked Augusta, one of the participants on a sandwich course from her banking job. "Dunno," I told her. "Quite a few do, but for short periods only. You can not really be happy in a sexless marriage can you, what would be the point?"

The following day, I was really surprised to see her. None of the others showed up and it would have been a good opportunity for me to catch up on the backlog of files I had to go through. Seeing I wasmore interested in encouraging her to leave than settle to another gossip session, she told me she urgently needed my advise. "It's my brother-in-law" she said when I arched my brow. "My sister is six years older than me and although we were very close when we were young, I was a bit jealous of her as she got to do everything way before I did – like going to discos, having boyfriend' and wearing grown-up clothes. By the time I was old enough to do all those things, Leila, my sister, was already married to John, her childhood sweetheart. With time they had two boys. I was at her place on a Saturday when she opened up to me. As she talked, she kept her eyes fixed on my face .. Was she expecting a reaction? She then told me:

"Would you believe I no longer find sex interesting?" My sister confided in me as we shared a bottle of wine. `I love John, of course, but I hate it when he touches me.' I didn't know what to say. I was a bit embarrassed. I mumbled something about a low sex drive being common for a while after having a baby. But her youngest was four and I urged her to give it time. That the desire would come back. But it didn't. It was then I realised they had a serious problem. Wasn't John frustrated?

"Leila shrugged. 'He must be," she admitted. 'I wouldn't really blame him if he started having an affair.' 'He'd never do that!' I replied, horrified. John was handsome, trustworthy and easy-going. Most of all, he really loved my sister. As time passed and they stayed together, I assumed they'd sorted out their differences. Until one night at one of our friend's 30th birthday party. Leila had come alone leaving the children with John and their new maid. We had a bit to drink and I began moaning about being permanently single and how 1 missed not having regular sex.

"That doesn't' bother me at all,' Leila shrugged. 'You and I are different that way – you love sex, I don't.' What?' I gasped, my mouth dropping open, 'you mean you're still celibate?' 'I haven't had sex for three years,' she told me, 'and I don't miss it.' I couldn't

get my head round it. This was no phase. Leila had obviously settled for a sexless marriage. I wondered how John could cope with that. Men need sex. Had he gone elsewhere?

"Yet every time I visited their cosy flat, Leila and John seemed so happy and relaxed together, so in love. Then one day, a few months on, 1 called round to see my sister and John answered the door. He was wearing just a towel round his waist as he was in a hurry to get the door. 'Is Leila in?' I stuttered, looking at his rippling muscles.

Could you be better friends after your divorce?

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 14, 2018.

THE major reason married couples divorce is that they couldn't stand each other when they were married. Most marriages could be acrimonious, but there are some couples who got along better now they don't have the responsibilities that committed relationships bring. Mandy, 42 and Frank 39 swore they've forged a close friendship, even though Frank walked out on her when their second daughter was only four.

"I was distraught when Frank left me four years ago," confessed Mandy. "I had recently suffered a miscarriage and was really depressed. On top of which the doctors had really advised 1 shouldn't try for another baby at my age"'. That made me feel really old and emphasised that at 35, Frank would think his child-bearing age was over. We already had two adorable daughters, would he want a son like most men?

"Frank assured me he'd got all the family he ever wanted and 1 relaxed. A couple of years later however, 1 got the news that shattered everything. A friend called she was just from a naming ceremony where the new dad was Frank. And you guessed it, the new tot was a boy! Frank didn't know her, so she was able to give a blow-by-blow account of the ceremony. 1 literally died inside.

How could he? After he'd assured me he was fine the way things were? 1 didn't even suspect he was having a serious affair. This was a man who, even in my darkest moments was there, assuring me 1 could count on him.

"When he eventually showed up and I addressed him by the name of his new son, he was taken aback. Then he became defiant. He told me he didn't ask for what happened, but when one of his mistresses became pregnant and refused an abortion, he resigned himself to his lot. But when he realised he'd had a son, he was really happy. The only problem was how to tell me, but this 'well-meaning' friend had made things easier for him. And he meant to be a responsible father to this son who was born due to no fault of his.

Why one-night-stands aren't such a big deal these days

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, December 17, 2017.

JIBE waited in her flat with bated breath. She hadn't done a reckless thing like this in her life before. A divorced mother of a nine-year old daughter, she'd run into Tony at a party and they'd got on like a house on fire. Their teasing got to a dare – would Jibe have- a no-strings-attached sex with him that night?

Tony was married of course, so his house was out of bounds. Jibe hadn't had sex for a while and was gaging for it. Her daughter was spending the night at her sister's. Could she let this opportunity slip from her fingers? So she said yes to Tony's proposition.

In spite of the excitement of having sex again, she was scared? She said: "When I heard the bell, I felt a bit panicky. This was suddenly a crazy idea. What if he had dubious intentions? But when I opened the door and saw the lecherous smile on his face, my anxiety was replaced by over-powering lust. Tony pulled me into his arms and started kissing me passionately. My legs actually buckled, but he pressed my body hard against his and I was lost. We started taking each other's clothes off and for a while I felt exposed – and sexy! He gently lowered me onto the sofa, and without saying a word, started making love to me. I'd never experienced anything like it before – so urgent, so uninhibited.

"Almost an hour after, I was exhausted. Tony told me it was one of the best sex he'd had and I felt flattered. It made me feel so desirable and powerful. As he made to leave, he asked for my mobile number but I told him I didn't want to take it any further. He looked really disappointed, but we'd both told ourselves at the party it was to be a one-night stand … "

Problems you shouldn't have in new relationships?

~The SUN Nigeria. Sunday, November 5, 2017.

The beginning of a relationship is supposed to be easy. You both have these hormones surging through you that make everything feel so light, easy, radiant, and exciting.

You are walking on cloud nine. Life somehow feels better than usual and you are always smiling. You brush off little things that would normally bother you in the beginning of a relationship.

You really shouldn't be fighting much in a new relationship. If you are, then you are just in the wrong relationship. If you are fighting in the beginning of a relationship, you should be concerned. How are you going to be when the high of the new relationship wears off?

You shouldn't be having the problems mentioned below in your new relationship.

Making time for each other

If a new relationship is healthy and on the right track, you make time for each other, even if there isn't any. You lose a couple of hours of sleep if those hours are the only time you can be together. Being together a lot, in the beginning, is how you build the foundation of your relationship.

Calling/texting

You can't build a relationship with somebody who takes days to respond to a text, doesn't answer calls, and just generally doesn't communicate with you. If you are bickering in a new relationship about phone etiquette, the thing you have may not stand a chance.

Scheduling

Cancelling at the last minute, failing to schedule things in advance, double booking-things like this should not happen in the beginning of a relationship. If somebody cannot just work you into their calendar or give you a simple yes or no answer about dinner now, then he or she will be a ghost of a partner down the line.

How to have fun when all the kids have left home – Bunmi Sofola

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, November 5, 2017.

Do you feel lost and lonely now that your children have flown the nest? Are you strangely missing the piles of dirty washing and the blaring of music or are you too busy turning a grotty bedroom into a cozy study, where you can relax in the afternoon with refreshments and a magazine? Or, are you thinking of letting part of the house for some easy cash?

New research has revealed that in order to cope with empty-nest syndrome, many parents are giving their homes a make over soon after their youngsters move out. Almost 30 per cent start renovating within two months of their children leaving, according to a survey carried out by Zurich Insurance, a third redecorate their child's old room, while the same number go further and transform it into a study or holiday room. Some even revamp the whole house.

So what makes people quick to reach for their paintbrushes once their kids go off to university or set up home with friends or a partner? More than half of those who took part in the survey said they wanted to reflect the change in family life. Experts agree that after years of children drawing on the walls and leaving dirty plates under beds, many parents are happy to have the chance to make their homes their own again.

"Children may well bully their parents into letting them redecorate their own rooms and even other parts of the house," says Philliop Hodson, a counselling psychotherapist. Some parents lose part of their identities. They have to wait a long time to get their house back. Then they can make it smarter. Renovating can help parents rediscover their identities.

Once a child's bedroom is yours again, it's natural to want to mark your territory. There's an itch to get in there and sort it all out. It's like moving into a new house. Even if it's been beautifully decorated, you still want to change things to make it yours. However, in some cases, there may be another reason why parents get the urge to decorate. You may be trying to fill time because you're missing the children. But what if your son or daughter wants to move back in? Will they be happy to sleep in the couch because their room is now for worship?

"Children are likely to feel disappointed when the house is not their childhood home any more." Says Hodson: "They might feel a bit hurt and pushed out and think that you couldn't wait to be rid of them. Does that mean you should restrain yourself from covering the black walls in your son's bedroom with brighter paint? Not really. As parents, you have to get on with your own lives, so you shouldn't be sentimental. When your child moves out, explain that there will always be a room for them-but it will be the guest room."

Eight habits that fuel impotence

Tunde Ajaja
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, October 29, 2017.

Based on findings, one of men's worst sexual problems is impotence. It is a type of sexual dysfunction characterised by the inability of the man to develop or maintain an erection firm enough for sexual intercourse.

Beyond the fact that it reduces man's self esteem, it impairs a man's ability to have sexual intercourse and more importantly, it also reduces the likelihood of the man being able to impregnate a woman. But the good news is that it is curable.

However, given the serious impact it has on the sexual wellness of a man, it is important to point out that there are certain habits that fuel this dysfunction, and these include:

Diet: It should first be noted that the turgidity of the penis is dependent on blood flow and so it is only helpful when people eat the food that would aid blood flow in their system. WebMD, a website that provides valuable health information and tools for managing health, pointed out that the kind of diet or eating pattern that could cause heart attack due to restricted blood flow would also obstruct the flow of blood to the penis, especially when blood flow is needed for the penis to be erect. Therefore, to avoid impotence, men are advised to take fruits, vegetables, fish, red wine, whole grains and heart-healthy fats like nuts. "Anything that is bad for a man's heart is also bad for his penis," an associate professor of clinical urology, Andrew McCullough, said.

Obesity: Another factor that can cause impotence is obesity. According to WebMD, overweight is a risk factor for diabetes, which could cause nerve damage in some parts of the body. However, if one of the nerves that have links with the penis is damaged, it could affect the sensitivity of the penis, resulting in erectile dysfunction. Also, diabetes has been found to be one of the endocrine diseases that impede blood flow and that can also affect blood flow to the penis. Also, people that are obese tend to have high level of visceral fat which has been linked to lower testosterone.

Lack of exercise: Exercise has been found to add great benefits to the body, including increased blood circulation in the body. In fact, exercise has been found to boost libido due to the increased blood flow. On the other hand, inactive or deskbound lifestyle has been found to cause erectile dysfunction. However, people are also advised to be cautious of the kind of exercise they engage in and this is because any form of exercise, like cycling, that puts enormous pressure on the area between the scrotum and anus could affect the nerves and vessels that have links with the penis, leading to erectile dysfunction.

Seven types of libidos

Written by Funmi Akingbade

~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, August 13, 2017.

Funmi Akingbade

Why do you lay so much emphasis on sex and sexuality? From my opinion, I think sex is a basic thing; why give so much attention to it?' This was a question I was asked while I was in South Africa giving a talk on sex and sexual health matters.

The first big misconception many people have is thinking that sex is basic and natural and should not be learnt. It is as a result of this discourse that sex education has long been obstructed as if it is not necessary to understand the mechanisms at which it works. Then again, this has caused a lot of damages to many homes.

In reality, sex is cultural; it is the fruit of a learning process and it is something we all have to learn. Until we start learning, we might not be able to unravel the mechanism behind the female's sexuality or the way the erection functions.

As such, today, we want to see seven ways couples can enjoy instant raging passion by being able to differentiate various types of libidos. I would advise you read this together with your spouse, so that both of you can find out which area you fall into.

So, let us look into the arousal types of libidos.

Number one is the sensual libido spouse. This is a spouse who wants sex to be emotional, connecting and superficially physical. The spouse cherishes love play more than the actual sexual acts. This category of spouses is more of introvert lovers than extroverts. Bu the erotic libido spouses are spouses who want sex to be intense and passionate, at least some of the times. They want to explore all the wondrous varieties of sexual activities that are available. Though they can cope with periods of ordinary sex, there are regular opportunities for adventurous and sizzling sex. If you have a strong erotic libido, you get little or no pleasure from low key sex and this might cause problems in the relationship, because your partner might start feeling the pressure to perform at great heights all the time, which is never good.

The second category is the dependent libido spouses and they are spouses who need sex to cope with problems. 

Sex soothes them and makes them feel better. They are more sexually active when they have to deal with bad feelings such as stress, boredom or anxiety, pressure, loss of loved one, when they are sick or troubled. When such spouse does not have an understanding partner, the relationship is always under undue pressure because in such cases, if your partner doesn't want to do it when you want because you are in an emotional state, you might tend to interpret it as lack of love and care. It would look like she or he is refusing to give you the medicine you need to... feel better. 

The reactive libido spouses are spouses who care more about the sexual needs of their partner. 

They sometimes even end up ignoring their own desires if they feel they are not what their partner usually enjoys. These spouses put a lot of effort into foreplay and can only orgasm once they are sure their wives have.

The third category is the entitled libido spouses and these are spouses who assume that it's their God's given right to get whatever they want in their sexual relationship, regardless of the feeling of the other partner. Their mindset is, 'If I want hot steamy sex, I should be given the opportunity to have hot steamy sex and if on the contrary, I want cuddling, my partner should provide me with just that.' This category of spouses is very influenced by the ideas of sex in movies and books and they think they are entitled to have the same great sex as they watch on the screen.

Glaring signs your partner is toxic for you

~The SUN Nigeria. Monday, July 17, 2017.

To fall in love is to have your heart beating for someone, with no explanations and no predicting signs. It happens in a heartbeat and could last a lifetime. You looked at that certain someone and knew that he or she was the one. That is all it takes actually. Love flows naturally. But it can be heartbreaking to find out that your fairytale might turn into hell.

Do any of these seemingly innocent scenarios remind you of your current relationship? It means your boo is toxic and you need to distance yourself from them immediately.

They don't respect you

When your partner respects you, then they respect what you do and who you are. They know your worth and appreciate how valuable you are. It's not okay to cheat on you. It is wrong for them to insult you whether in front of people or just between you two. It's not acceptable. That's respect being lost right there.

They don't trust you

If your partner's actions are suspicious and they claim it's because they are just jealous or care too much about you, you need to draw a line between jealousy and lack of trust. Lovers should trust each other. If you try to fix their lack of trust and it continues, then that is probably something you can't help them with.

They make you doubt yourself

If they make you think that you are not good enough all the time, that you should be happy they are with you, then you must put an end to that relationship. The truth is you are good enough and sometimes it just takes the right person to see it. Loving them was good enough and if they can't see that they might as well not deserve it.

Signs your relationship has no future

~The SUN Nigeria. Sunday, May 28, 2017.

Relationships are often happy at the beginning, but over time they can become negative without you realizing. All relationships require effort and hard work, and without these things you may notice that you feel unhappy and under-appreciated.

If despite the amazing chemistry between you and your partner share and the regular declarations of love you have made, you are not quite sure of your future together, it may be time to find out where your relationship is heading. If you are not sure your partner is ready to go through life with you, it may be time for a goodbye.

Do you wonder if you are in the right relationship? Are you confused about the direction of your relationship? Here are signs that your relationship may not last.

Your partner can't accept you for who you are

Everyone has positive and negative traits, and a good partner will accept you and all of your flaws. Your partner doesn't have to enjoy watching your favourite show with you, but he/she should accept that you enjoy it and leave you to it without judgment. If your partner doesn't like more important things like the way you dress or your career, it is time for you to leave. Being unable to accept one another for who you are is one of the biggest indicators that the relationship won't work out.

You can't accept your partner for who they are

Accepting each other works both ways. If your partner loves you for who you are then you should be able to offer the same to your partner. Ask yourself this; if there are things your partner does that you hate or cannot come to terms with, why are you with him/her? If you can't stand the person you are dating now, how will you stand him/her when you both eventually get married?

You struggle to handle each other during the hard times

Relationships come with intimacy, happiness and laughter, but they also come with stress, bad moods and hardship. Of course you will love your partner when he/she is happy and relaxed, but do you feel the same way about him/her when he/she is irritated? In a relationship you should support each other during hard times, not push each other away. If you put up with your partner only during good times, it may be time to let him/her go so that he/she can find someone who to be with through the good and the bad times.

It's a huge mistake going to your lover's Matrimonial Home

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, May 28, 2017.

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine whose profession had to do with the 'bench' was forced to bring her' irresponsible' husband to order. According to her, he was a chronic womanizer who'd humiliated her especially with his lack of choice when lusting after sex. "When you're tanked to the eyebrow;" he often bragged, "who cares what a dame looks like?"

His behaviour got a little reckless when he invited his latest girlfriend and her friends to the naming ceremony of the latest arrival to the family. A good 'friend' of the husband pointed out the culprit and her friends to the wife. They stuck out like a sore thumb anyway, since they were seated in the living room far from the prying eyes of guests and relations. To get to the toilet you had to go through the bedroom and my friend stationed one of her sisters in the room. If she caught any of the 'rebels' passing through to get to the toilet, she should let her know.

When that eventually happened, my friend made sure the girl was back on her seat before she raised an alarm that some pieces of jewellery were missing from her room. She looked frantically around until her eyes rested on the girls, seemingly for the first time.

"I don't know you lot", she said innocently, then turning to relations in the room she asked "did any of you come with these guests?" Nobody claimed the "contraband goods" and the husband, bottles of beer in hand, quickly disappeared into the crowd.

My friend's brother then started roughening up the girls, accusing them of stealing money and jewellery when one of them passed through the bedroom. A few slaps here, some caustic words there, the girls were threatened with police action. They were eventually 'released' with the girlfriend's clothes in shreds.

When a few days later, my friend's husband meal wasn't ready, that was the cue for him to retaliate.

He puffed and huffed and threatened and when his wife lost her patience, twak.!

After giving her a beating she would remember for a long time, he left the house in anger. The wife quickly locked up. Afterall, she was the one allocated the house. When the husband came back in the wee hours of the morning and realized he was locked out, he saw red.

He put his angry fist through a window and there was blood all over the place.


My friend quickly went out the back door, got into her car and raced to the nearest police station. She flashed her ID and informed the sleepy officers that someone in her house was destroying government property. The men in uniform quickly came with her and matched the protesting husband to the cell. late in the evening, after she'd given me an emotional account of what she went through, I finally persuaded her to go and bail her husband out since she was the complainant. She insisted I come with her, so I did. You wouldn't believe the rapport that had quickly existed between the husband and his fellow 'prisoners'! Stripped to the waist, bare-footed and looking unkempt, he was sharing cigarettes with other inmates when we came in.

Jokes and Humour: Say Your Phone Number - in 9ja!

2016/2017 Jokes:

• Say Your Phone Number - in 9ja!
• WhatsApp Group
• Doctor tells a story
• Akpors Versus Teacher: Can I ask u a few questions?
• Don't try to control your spouse. You will always lose!
• Wise Man Vs Pin-Head
• Drunk Driver's Offence
• Don't make A Woman Cry
• Beware of the Price Lure
• Auto-maniac joke, 2016
• BET9ja
• WATCHING FOOTBALL with your wife can be very frustrating and stressful!

_____________________________________


Say Your Phone Number - in 9ja!
~Anonymous

Ask a Yoruba person for his/ her Number and you will hear:
"Sero Hate Sero, Sis Hate Sis, Tlri Hate Hlri, Sefun Sis"
(0806863876)
"Na my Heartel number be that"

AN Hausa man nko? You will hear:
Tzero Seben Tzero, Pipe Pipe Seben, Por Pipe Por Eleben. 
(07055745411)

Then ask an Anambra lgboman , you get this: 
Not Ate Not, Tliple Tili, Dozen Dozen Tili 
( 0803312123.....)" 
"O Number mu"
--------------------------------------

WhatsApp Group
~Tobe Obi.

Beggar at the traffic signal:
"What sir, only N10... 
Why the discrimination sir? You gave my friend N100 at the last traffic light".

Man in the car: 
"How did u know?"

Beggar: 
"He just sent me a whatsapp message with your car no. We are all members of the same whatsapp group".
----------------------------------------------
Doctor tells a story
By OK Chuk-Wu Dibor
March 4, 2017

Guy: Doctor, My girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?

Doctor: Let me tell you a story: "There was once a Hunter who always carries a Gun wherever he goes. One day he took his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun,and shot the Lion,then it died!

Guy: Nonsense!! Someone else must've shot the Lion...

Doctor: Good!! You understood the Story.

Next patient please...
--------------------------------------------------

Akpors Versus Teacher: Can I ask u a few questions?
~Tobe Obi.
9th February, 2017.

Mr & Mrs: My husband not father of my son, divorce-seeking wife tells Lagos court

Topics:
- My husband not father of my son, divorce-seeking wife tells Lagos court
- 'My sister flirts with my boyfriend'
- I caught my wife, best man having adulterous meeting – Husband tells court
- 'My husband makes money only for himself'
- I caught my wife with two lovers in our bedroom – Husband

________________________________________

My husband not father of my son, divorce-seeking wife tells Lagos court
~Vanguard Nigeria. Thursday, May 25, 2017.

Lagos – A divorce-seeking housewife, Mojisola Ajiboye, on Thursday told an Agege Customary Court that her husband is not the biological father of her son.

She gave the testimony in the divorce suit she filed against her estranged husband at the court.

The petitioner, a 30-year-old nurse, who resides at No. 46, Shiaba St., Agege , a Lagos suburb, said she regretted her seven-year marriage to Samson Nkanang, 33.

She claims that the husband usually abandons her at home and travels on official trips without any form of care.

"My husband is irresponsible and has turned me into a punching bag, I am no longer interested in the union; I want the loveless marriage dissolved,'' she pleaded with the court.

The petitioner told the court that the petitioner whom she has been married to for over seven years is not the biological father of her son.

"I was impregnated by another man during the period my husband travelled on an official trip,' she said.

The estranged wife urged the court to dissolve the marriage so that they can go their separate ways

"Although l registered the child's birth in the respondent's name, he is not the father of my son,''she said.

Mojisola alleged that her husband is temperamental and constantly beats her over minor issues.

Samson , who admitted subjecting his wife to frequent beatings, however, denied the allegations of being an irresponsible husband and father.

He told the court that he was on an official trip for two months in Akwa-Ibom when his wife told him she was pregnant.

"On my return, I even had sexual intercourse with her severally in order for her private part to be opened according to the doctor's report.

"So I am amazed now that she claims I am not the biological father of my child."

Lagos: How Uber driver married his client

~Punch Nigeria. Monday, May 22, 2017. 

A Nigerian lady has taken to social media to narrate how she met her husband, who is an Uber driver. The story is an entire deviation from the stories of Uber drivers assaulting their clients that has become rampant, recently.

The whole story started from simple courtesy, then it progressed to a conversation before it reached the altar.

Read the story as shared below.

“OUR UBER LOVESTORY

On the 19th of July, 2016 after a very hectic time at a Client's office, I ordered for an Uber ride somewhere around Bourdilion Road, Ikoyi, Lagos. Then one 'Gregory Shola Okorodudu @bigsholz ' picked up my request and called to get exact description to where I was. I described it to him and asked to let me know when he arrives.

On getting to me, he said 'goodevening Maam', he got out of the car, took my bag, asked where I wanted to sit and opened the door for me. He was like "hope you're okay Ma?" then I just cut in, "if you call me Ma again I will call you Sir"....lol.

Shortly after, I got a call from my Bestest Nonso and we spoke for a while as there seemed to be a very long traffic that day. At the end of the conversation she told me Afam our friend got us Ribs of fire (barbeque pork ribs) with fries. I was so excited I was singing 'Afam is the best'...my favorite meal from Aberdeen, Scotland, UK. Then I got off the call with a better countenance than I got in the car.

Then Shola cut in saying, 'sorry to eavesdrop into your conversation but did you say you found ribs of fire in Lagos?' I said 'yes'. He had this big grin on his face then said it was one of his favorite meal in Manchester, UK.

Then I looked at him like, "You've been to the UK?" he said YES! Did a Masters in Petroleum and Gas Engineering and graduated with Distinction. I was in shock and he said you don't believe, here is my certificate. He's got his documents scanned on phone. So I was like why are you driving Uber then?

Lecturer impregnated me, rejects pregnancy, says nursing student • It wasn't me, I used condom - Lecturer

Written by Samson Folarin
~Punch Nigeria. Monday, May 22, 2017.

A lecturer at the Ogun State College of Health Technology, Ilese Ijebu, Dr Oluseyi Adu, and a Dental Nursing student, Mosunmola, are embroiled in a row over who is responsible for the pregnancy that the nursing student is carrying.

Mosunmola, who is nine months pregnant, alleged that Adu was responsible for the child in her womb, adding that they had sex in a hotel sometime in August, 2016.

READ:

45-year-old man impregnates pupil, insists they are lovers

She said the lecturer beat her up last month when she confronted him at the college for avoiding her, adding that the case was already at the Ilese Police Station.

However, while Adu admitted to having sex with the 28-year-old, he insisted that he used contraceptive, saying the lady seduced him and he gave in to the temptation.

Mosunmola told our correspondent that she underwent a three-year course at the college, adding that several lecturers had asked her out before Adu, but she refused.

She said, "Dr Adu is the Oral Health Coordinator for the college. During my three years study, he taught me two courses each semester. I have never failed his course.

"When I got to second semester, 300 level, he awarded me 38 in one of his courses. I went to his office in August 2016 to know why I failed the course. I needed to pass all my courses to be able to go for my board exam.

"He asked me if I thought I could just come to the school and go like that. He said if I dated him, he would waive the course. He said he didn't approach me in 100 level because another lecturer was interested in dating me.

"The lecturer he mentioned told me in 100 level that it was either I paid him money or used my body to pass his course. Because I didn't agree, I failed his course. I didn't pass it until I got to 300 level.

"I told Adu that I would date him, but I didn't want to have any problem, and he assured me that there would be no regret."

The victim said the lecturer took her to the office of the Head of Department and after some discussions, it was agreed that she could sit for the board exam.

After the board exam at POGIL College of Health Technology, Oke-Eri, Ijebu Ode, on August 21, Adu, who was among those on the panel, was said to have given Mosunmola some of his practical instruments and a laptop for safekeeping.

However, Mosunmola said when the school bus arrived to take the students back to the school, she forgot to give the practical instruments back to the lecturer.

She said Adu later called and asked her to bring the instruments to a hotel where he lodged.

"I was preparing to leave when he called me back that I would be sleeping over with him.

"I met him with another lecturer in my department. I observed that the lecturer also had a female student with him. From the hotel, we went to different places before we finally lodged in another hotel along Ilese Road. While I was with Adu in a room, my other classmate passed the night with the second lecturer in another room.

How to handle a cheating spouse

Written by MOTUNRAYO JOEL 
~Punch Nigeria. Monday, April 10, 2017. 

On June 4, 2015, Mrs. Bukola Yusuf (not real name), a mother of three stormed out of her house in shorts, "I was prepared to engage in a fight with the woman who 'stole' my husband's heart," she told our correspondent.

She said she was fed up with the woman who constantly called and sent messages to her husband's phone.

Yusuf said, "At midnight, my husband's phone would ring; whenever I confronted him about it, he would say, 'It is a useless woman disturbing my phone.' I believed him because I trusted him."

When she discovered that the lady disturbing her peace lived two streets away from hers, she became furious.

"That day-June 4, I was ready to fight; to put an end to everything. But my neighbours stopped me from storming the lady's house," she said.

Little did Yusuf know that her husband was having an affair with the lady. She didn't suspect because he promised her he would never cheat on her. He constantly reassured her of his undying love for her, and like every 'good' wife, she believed him.

"My husband does not have only one girlfriend, I heard he has several girlfriends. I almost lost my mind the period I discovered about his cheating lifestyle. I would cry for days; I felt worthless. He couldn't hold his emotions one night; he blatantly told me that he loves the woman that had been calling his phone. He confessed and said that they met some months ago and that he had been hiding it from me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings," she said.

Yusuf told SUNDAY PUNCH that her husband shares his time between her and his girlfriends.

Yusuf isn't the only one battling with a cheating spouse; Mrs. Toyin Oyebanjo (not real name) is paddling the same boat.

Oyebanjo believes her husband's 'womanising' nature started before they got married. She said she thought he would change.

"I have been married to him for 15 years; we separated for two years. It breaks my heart to say that I've not been happy in my marriage since I got married. People may say I was stupid for marrying him, knowing quite well that he can't remain with one woman. But I thought he would change; I thought his love for me would change him,'' she said.

How can a housewife justify multiple affairs?

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, March 5, 2017.

I'VE often wondered what life would be like if it is devoid of the heady sensation of sex? A lot had been said and written on how revered it should be in marriage. Yet, on the other side of the coin, illicit sex is so available you could virtually have it on tap! When you mention kiss and tell, an image of a man pops up. I mean, what married woman in her senses would confess to an affair even with a gun held to her head, let alone brag about the joy of illicit sex? Times are really changing.

The smug smiles a couple of my friends and I wear when we discussed our 'indiscretions' pale into insignificance when compared with what the average adventurous wife gets away with these days. And she's so brazen she often brags about how easy it is to pull the wool over hubby's eyes.

Vivienne, a much younger friend is one of these high-flying professionals with the Midas touch. She currently works with a boss who was recruited from abroad by the firm they both work with. Viv's been bending my ears on how handsome and cosmopolitan Greg, the boss was that on this day I called on her, I automatically switched off when she started singing Greg's praise. I'd reminded her often she'd just been married less than 10 years and affairs should be off her menu. "I love Ebere (the husband) but he could be so predictable at times." She would tell me in her defence. This day in question, she was babbling on about Greg when I took notice of what she had to say. "I often have erotic dreams about him and now we've been teamed to work overtime on our new account, heavens only know what would happen", she said excitedly.

"What do you mean?", I asked in my don't-do-any-thing-foolish voice. "I've been having these erotic dreams about him and now we'll be working together often, anything could happen". I warned her of the consequences of any rash action, then left. But I couldn't get her out of my mind. I was so curious I had to pay her another visit some few months later. "Oh aunty- C, I feel guilty I couldn't give you a call or visit, I've been so busy!' she said. 'I can imagine,' I mumbled under my breath. It is always a delight to visit her anyway as she entertains lavishly whenever I called. With fresh fish stew and boiled potatoes in my belly, being washed down with a very good wine, Viv dropped her bombshell: "I've relived my dream", she declared. I almost choked on the wine as my ears perked up. "Some weeks back, after we'd finished one of our projects, Greg sent for food from the nearest hotel and popped a bottle of champagne he'd put in his fridge. Before the food arrived, we'd almost finished the bottle which explained why I became giggly and hot when Greg started teasing.


I told him about my dreams and he leered. 'Now's the time to find out,' he said as he moved closer – in a few seconds, we were in a clinch, kissing furiously and helping each other out of our clothes. In no time at all, we were on his office couch, making frantic, raunchy love – the thought of my marriage flying out of the window. "I couldn't have stopped him even if I wanted to! When it was over, he looked really proud of his achievement but I didn't mind. It was the best bunk I'd had for months'.

YOUR EX IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

Written by Utchay Lugar 
~Panyan, Upper West, GhanaGhana.

Are you a friend to your Ex? do you talk often? Are you always chatting, Meeting up, etc? If the answer is yes to any of these questions then the man or woman you call Ex is not.

You can't be friends with your Ex, and this particular topic is causing a lot of mayhem in many relationships; one spouse is comfortable talking to the ex, while the other wonders ‘what at all do they talk about’? Why did they let that relationship go? Their response is, ‘I can't hate my Ex, he or she is just a friend’.

Love usually starts from being strangers, to friends, then lovers. Anytime the love is over, you get back to your default status which is strangers who are familiar; not enemies and it doesn’t mean you hate your Ex.

Familiar in the sense of what we once had or shared, but the relationship, feelings and what we once shared is dead. What is left in the archives is history. Because we are no longer together, there is nothing to talk about or celebrate for we have learnt our lessons and moved on.

No matter how good a medicine or drug is it can only work best before death, but after death nothing can be cured. It is same with relationships. Love is possible after friendship but friendship is not possible after love.
The only time friendship is possible after love is when love is still present and not gone at all. The only time medicine can cure is when death has not occurred; if the medicine still works then one is not dead yet or just pretending to be dead.

She blames her mum's alcoholism for their dad's death!

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 19, 2017.

ALCOHOLICS have always been accused of making the lives of their loved ones miserable whenever the dreaded alcohol takes over their personality. And this happens as often as they get drunk. When Tomi's father died a couple of years ago, she was heartbroken and bitter that their mother's hostility towards him, especially when he was ill, coupled with her unreasonable grumpiness to the children hastened their father's departure to the grave.

"Our dad was diagnosed with cancer over three years ago. He needed extra care at home and I rescheduled my work at the school I ran so, I could be with him more often. Dad welcomed the change, but mum didn't," Tomi, a 42-year -old mother of three said. "Even before our dad became ill, I had a difficult relationship with our mum. In our teens, my sisters and I would cringe as we listened to her pick fights with dad. She was clingy, jealous and self-absorbed. I had to endure hours of her complaining about him when I got home from school – details too intimate for a daughter to hear about her parents' relationship. My sisters used to disappear but as the eldest, I had to endure it. At some point, I felt brave enough to tell her she wasn't being fair, that he was my dad and I loved him. Her focus has always been inwards, which means she barely asks about my life. Dad, on the other hand, was immensely proud of me and we could talk for hours – this made her more resentful.

"When I spent those last few months with him, I tried hard to talk about anything but his illness. Meanwhile, mum became a martyr to his care, complaining how exhausted she was, while pushing away offers of help. I tried to anticipate what I could do to relieve her burden, yet knew this irritated her. It came to a head one evening when she asked me directly if I got homesick. I replied that my husband was fully in charge of the kids and understood why I had to be with my father in his dying moments. She kept on at me until dad asked her to shut up. Next morning, she told me point blank she wanted time alone with him and that I was welcome to visit at the weekends.

"After dad's death, my sisters and I (and dad's siblings and friends) were relegated to small parts in a play that put our mum's grief at centre stage. This all with the embarrassment of her drinking to excess. She has no sense of self-awareness, so never thinks to curtail her drinking to save her children from public embarrassment. My recent birthday was dominated by keeping her from harm and putting her to bed, stark drunk. I tend not to hold grudges, but with mum I can't slake off something close to hate – since I spent more time crying over the way she treated me than I did for my dying father.


"She offers comments that our (me and my sisters') loss isn't as crippling as hers and this makes me angry. How do I get to be a good daughter when I have to brace myself to call her and don't want to visit her on my own? Our dad's death has proved he was the glue between mum and the children, and now there's nothing."

How to successfully tame your hostile mother-in-law!

By Okogba
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 19, 2017.

DUNNI has been a sort of little brother for years now, and he freely comes to me any time he wants any advice. Not that much was happening in his life, not for a long time at least. An only child, he schooled in Britain and only came home when his mum had a mild stroke and could no longer run the family furniture business. His dad had passed on long before then and he confessed he couldn’t cope. “I’m not the businessman type”, he moaned "the first time he discussed the family business with me. ”I’ve noticed how firmly mum deals with the workers but I don’t really have the bottle. For a start, I know little or nothing about the staff, and for another I can’t really shout when things go wrong. I’m not the aggressive type".

I told him to keep his ears to the ground, look for one or two allies amongst the staff and tap their brain. It seemed to work for a while until one of the ‘allies’ started giving him the eye. Handsome is hardly a word to described Dunni, but he is intelligent and kind. In his early thirties, he could count the number of girlfriends he’s had on the finger. His idea of a wild night was having a good meal at a decent restaurant and topping that up with choice wine. So when he started going out with Fareedah, his mum’s personal assistant, I was happy for him.

When he brought her to the house however, my enthusiasm dipped. The girl was very pretty and extremely extroverted. She was considerably younger. What would she want with drab Dunni when she could have her pick of men? But then, I chided myself, she could have had her heart broken by a few Casanovas and wanted to give Mr. Nice Man a chance.

Dunni admitted he was a bit wary of falling in love with her when we next met. “But she is very "caring, Auntie,” he said. “You know I didn’t have that much experience with dating women, but she’d since taken care of that. The shyness I usually felt when I was near women disappeared when I went out with her the first time and she kissed me, I could hardly contain myself. As a result, our first experience at lovemaking was almost disastrous; I had no confidence because it had been such a long time I was with a woman that it was over almost before it started. But she was patient with me and the next time was better. Now we have the sort of sex I’d only ever dreamt of … ”

When I asked if he’d met any of her friends and family he told me her parents were dead. “I’ve met her friends and they are really nice,” he assured me. “If they thought it was odd her going out with me when she was so pretty and younger, they didn’t show it. Anyway, I’ve changed so much since I met her. She’s overhauled my wardrobe and made me buy a sexier car.