~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, March 5, 2017.
I'VE often wondered what life would be like if it is devoid of the heady sensation of sex? A lot had been said and written on how revered it should be in marriage. Yet, on the other side of the coin, illicit sex is so available you could virtually have it on tap! When you mention kiss and tell, an image of a man pops up. I mean, what married woman in her senses would confess to an affair even with a gun held to her head, let alone brag about the joy of illicit sex? Times are really changing.
The smug smiles a couple of my friends and I wear when we discussed our 'indiscretions' pale into insignificance when compared with what the average adventurous wife gets away with these days. And she's so brazen she often brags about how easy it is to pull the wool over hubby's eyes.
Vivienne, a much younger friend is one of these high-flying professionals with the Midas touch. She currently works with a boss who was recruited from abroad by the firm they both work with. Viv's been bending my ears on how handsome and cosmopolitan Greg, the boss was that on this day I called on her, I automatically switched off when she started singing Greg's praise. I'd reminded her often she'd just been married less than 10 years and affairs should be off her menu. "I love Ebere (the husband) but he could be so predictable at times." She would tell me in her defence. This day in question, she was babbling on about Greg when I took notice of what she had to say. "I often have erotic dreams about him and now we've been teamed to work overtime on our new account, heavens only know what would happen", she said excitedly.
"What do you mean?", I asked in my don't-do-any-thing-foolish voice. "I've been having these erotic dreams about him and now we'll be working together often, anything could happen". I warned her of the consequences of any rash action, then left. But I couldn't get her out of my mind. I was so curious I had to pay her another visit some few months later. "Oh aunty- C, I feel guilty I couldn't give you a call or visit, I've been so busy!' she said. 'I can imagine,' I mumbled under my breath. It is always a delight to visit her anyway as she entertains lavishly whenever I called. With fresh fish stew and boiled potatoes in my belly, being washed down with a very good wine, Viv dropped her bombshell: "I've relived my dream", she declared. I almost choked on the wine as my ears perked up. "Some weeks back, after we'd finished one of our projects, Greg sent for food from the nearest hotel and popped a bottle of champagne he'd put in his fridge. Before the food arrived, we'd almost finished the bottle which explained why I became giggly and hot when Greg started teasing.
I told him about my dreams and he leered. 'Now's the time to find out,' he said as he moved closer – in a few seconds, we were in a clinch, kissing furiously and helping each other out of our clothes. In no time at all, we were on his office couch, making frantic, raunchy love – the thought of my marriage flying out of the window. "I couldn't have stopped him even if I wanted to! When it was over, he looked really proud of his achievement but I didn't mind. It was the best bunk I'd had for months'.
Afrisonet: Universally African and Socially Responsible. We are on the path to the total discovery of the people in today's Africa. Repositioning, to have a way, a say and to make a difference! Be Part.
Showing posts with label Romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Romance. Show all posts
YOUR EX IS NOT YOUR FRIEND
Written by Utchay Lugar
~Panyan, Upper West, GhanaGhana.
Are you a friend to your Ex? do you talk often? Are you always chatting, Meeting up, etc? If the answer is yes to any of these questions then the man or woman you call Ex is not.
You can't be friends with your Ex, and this particular topic is causing a lot of mayhem in many relationships; one spouse is comfortable talking to the ex, while the other wonders ‘what at all do they talk about’? Why did they let that relationship go? Their response is, ‘I can't hate my Ex, he or she is just a friend’.
Love usually starts from being strangers, to friends, then lovers. Anytime the love is over, you get back to your default status which is strangers who are familiar; not enemies and it doesn’t mean you hate your Ex.
Familiar in the sense of what we once had or shared, but the relationship, feelings and what we once shared is dead. What is left in the archives is history. Because we are no longer together, there is nothing to talk about or celebrate for we have learnt our lessons and moved on.
No matter how good a medicine or drug is it can only work best before death, but after death nothing can be cured. It is same with relationships. Love is possible after friendship but friendship is not possible after love.
The only time friendship is possible after love is when love is still present and not gone at all. The only time medicine can cure is when death has not occurred; if the medicine still works then one is not dead yet or just pretending to be dead.
~Panyan, Upper West, GhanaGhana.
Are you a friend to your Ex? do you talk often? Are you always chatting, Meeting up, etc? If the answer is yes to any of these questions then the man or woman you call Ex is not.You can't be friends with your Ex, and this particular topic is causing a lot of mayhem in many relationships; one spouse is comfortable talking to the ex, while the other wonders ‘what at all do they talk about’? Why did they let that relationship go? Their response is, ‘I can't hate my Ex, he or she is just a friend’.
Love usually starts from being strangers, to friends, then lovers. Anytime the love is over, you get back to your default status which is strangers who are familiar; not enemies and it doesn’t mean you hate your Ex.
Familiar in the sense of what we once had or shared, but the relationship, feelings and what we once shared is dead. What is left in the archives is history. Because we are no longer together, there is nothing to talk about or celebrate for we have learnt our lessons and moved on.
No matter how good a medicine or drug is it can only work best before death, but after death nothing can be cured. It is same with relationships. Love is possible after friendship but friendship is not possible after love.
The only time friendship is possible after love is when love is still present and not gone at all. The only time medicine can cure is when death has not occurred; if the medicine still works then one is not dead yet or just pretending to be dead.
Research: To enjoy long life, stop having sex! - Scientists
~Punch Nigeria. Thursday, February 16, 2017.
Scientists have suggested that they have finally found a recipe for long life:total abstinence from sex!
The University of Sheffield researchers rest their findings on the belief that nuns - who are believed to stay away from sex completely - tend to live longer.
Refraining from having sex will help you live longer than all your peers, the study found.
The scientists discovered that mealworm beetles live for longer if they avoid mating; while those who tried to produce offspring each day passed away at a much younger age.
Mating was found to release a hormone in the insects needed to produce sperm in a male or eggs in a female. But this was also found to have a negative effect on their immune system, the researchers found.
This makes them vulnerable to potentially deadly infections, as their body’s natural ability to fight rogue bacteria is compromised.
Though the mechanism is not necessarily the same in humans, study author, Dr. Michael Siva-Jothey, believes the principle can be applied.
He said: "Nuns tend to have a longer lifespan than women with children; and most people know of someone with a maiden (unmarried) aunt who seems to live forever.
"The question is, why? The beetles which mate die sooner than the beetles which don’t mate."
Humans also have weaker immune systems during sex, which explains how STIs can be easily spread, he added.
Nuns, priests, vicars and monks are known to live longer than others - but not for their religious protection.
It is believed that their low rates of high blood pressure - which increases the risk of heart disease and stroke - are responsible.
Scientists have suggested that they have finally found a recipe for long life:total abstinence from sex!The University of Sheffield researchers rest their findings on the belief that nuns - who are believed to stay away from sex completely - tend to live longer.
Refraining from having sex will help you live longer than all your peers, the study found.
The scientists discovered that mealworm beetles live for longer if they avoid mating; while those who tried to produce offspring each day passed away at a much younger age.
Mating was found to release a hormone in the insects needed to produce sperm in a male or eggs in a female. But this was also found to have a negative effect on their immune system, the researchers found.
This makes them vulnerable to potentially deadly infections, as their body’s natural ability to fight rogue bacteria is compromised.
Though the mechanism is not necessarily the same in humans, study author, Dr. Michael Siva-Jothey, believes the principle can be applied.
He said: "Nuns tend to have a longer lifespan than women with children; and most people know of someone with a maiden (unmarried) aunt who seems to live forever.
"The question is, why? The beetles which mate die sooner than the beetles which don’t mate."
Humans also have weaker immune systems during sex, which explains how STIs can be easily spread, he added.
Nuns, priests, vicars and monks are known to live longer than others - but not for their religious protection.
It is believed that their low rates of high blood pressure - which increases the risk of heart disease and stroke - are responsible.
It's none of his business the number of partners you've 'had'!
Candida by Okogba
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 12, 2017.
A young friend of mine recently met the man of her dreams. In the whirlwind courtship that followed, they quickly got round to the conversational games that lovers play. And so it was that Mr. Right asked Miss Right; "How many men have you slept with? The sensible girl immediately reversed the question, to which 'he answered '13'. She then replied with a circumspect '10'.
"How many is it really?" I asked excitedly. `Somewhere between a hundred and a hundred and ten', she said, not batting.an eye lid. "So why did she say 10?" ` I just thought that whatever he said, mine should be less'. How brutally honest can you get? 100 to 110 guys in how many years?!
This little story got me thinking what most latter day emotional, Shylock Holmes, think they are letting themselves in for when they seem bent on digging into past histories of their new lovers! It is a really funny question when you are faced with that kind of a quandary.
"As a regular rule," continued our woman-of-the world, "a woman would do well to gauge her answer from a man's. But what happens if he says 400? Would a response of 308 show a charmingly coy sexual reticence or elicit an indignant 'you're not the mother of my future children" from her shocked partner?
"One thing you should avoid saying is that you can't remember because that could reflect badly on you. I can't remember? That many, is it? She continues: "As a rule, men, automatically double the real figure and women automatically half it. Factual information backs up the theory. There are lies, damn lies and statistics and then there are sexual statistics which must be special kind of double lie. 'Whatever lies you tell, you need to get your head above the proverbial troubled waters!
"How many people you sleep with is a private matter. How many people you admit to having slept with is a social matter and, therefore, a question of manners. What you tell your friend is different from what you tell your lovers. People want to feel special, not as though they are part of a sprawling number game. A white lie isn't necessarily a wicked deceit, but could be simple courtesy. Why tread on someone's dreams when you can just as easily not?"
Good common sense, that is, if you ask me. Only it is amazing, how many good relationships are put in jeopardy in the male partners' quest to find out how promiscuous their female partners are. Are they as promiscuous as 'friends' say they are? At one of our 'old-students' renewals recently, we reverted to nostalgia, asking about old boyfriends. One of us looked particularly – sad and it expired that after her studies, she became pregnant and planned excitedly for a wedding with the love of her life. She was more than bewildered when the boy practically disappeared from the face of the earth.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 12, 2017.
A young friend of mine recently met the man of her dreams. In the whirlwind courtship that followed, they quickly got round to the conversational games that lovers play. And so it was that Mr. Right asked Miss Right; "How many men have you slept with? The sensible girl immediately reversed the question, to which 'he answered '13'. She then replied with a circumspect '10'.
"How many is it really?" I asked excitedly. `Somewhere between a hundred and a hundred and ten', she said, not batting.an eye lid. "So why did she say 10?" ` I just thought that whatever he said, mine should be less'. How brutally honest can you get? 100 to 110 guys in how many years?!
This little story got me thinking what most latter day emotional, Shylock Holmes, think they are letting themselves in for when they seem bent on digging into past histories of their new lovers! It is a really funny question when you are faced with that kind of a quandary.
"As a regular rule," continued our woman-of-the world, "a woman would do well to gauge her answer from a man's. But what happens if he says 400? Would a response of 308 show a charmingly coy sexual reticence or elicit an indignant 'you're not the mother of my future children" from her shocked partner?
"One thing you should avoid saying is that you can't remember because that could reflect badly on you. I can't remember? That many, is it? She continues: "As a rule, men, automatically double the real figure and women automatically half it. Factual information backs up the theory. There are lies, damn lies and statistics and then there are sexual statistics which must be special kind of double lie. 'Whatever lies you tell, you need to get your head above the proverbial troubled waters!
"How many people you sleep with is a private matter. How many people you admit to having slept with is a social matter and, therefore, a question of manners. What you tell your friend is different from what you tell your lovers. People want to feel special, not as though they are part of a sprawling number game. A white lie isn't necessarily a wicked deceit, but could be simple courtesy. Why tread on someone's dreams when you can just as easily not?"
Good common sense, that is, if you ask me. Only it is amazing, how many good relationships are put in jeopardy in the male partners' quest to find out how promiscuous their female partners are. Are they as promiscuous as 'friends' say they are? At one of our 'old-students' renewals recently, we reverted to nostalgia, asking about old boyfriends. One of us looked particularly – sad and it expired that after her studies, she became pregnant and planned excitedly for a wedding with the love of her life. She was more than bewildered when the boy practically disappeared from the face of the earth.
8 signs your relationship is heading for the rocks
Written by Tunde Ajaja
Punch Nigeria. Friday, February 10, 2017.
Being in a loving relationship can be exciting, and for people having such an experience, life is just good and worth living. But in some cases, that ecstatic or pleasant feeling does not last forever, in which case couples could start having issues with themselves.
Punch Nigeria. Friday, February 10, 2017.
Being in a loving relationship can be exciting, and for people having such an experience, life is just good and worth living. But in some cases, that ecstatic or pleasant feeling does not last forever, in which case couples could start having issues with themselves.
Sometimes, couples could resolve those issues and move on, but at other times, such issues could be the beginning of the end of that relationship, without one of the parties knowing the relationship was already on the line.
And as it has been said several times, most relationships that eventually crash once had their own good times, thus it could sometimes be difficult knowing a relationship is in troubled waters. But, according to a psychologist, Honey Langcaster-James, in her chat with Mail Online, people who are getting unsettled about their marriage could do an appraisal on what used to be and what it is at the moment, to determine if all is well in the relationship.
This implies that there are signs that could show if one's partner is tired of a relationship or if the relationship is headed for the rocks, and these include:
If your partner frequently compares you to an ex: It is not abnormal to have certain expectations from one's partner, and in an ideal situation, experts say people should be able to constructively convey their thoughts and expectations to such a partner without injuring their self esteem. According to Langcaster-James, one of the good ways to know your partner is tired of the relationship is if he or she frequently compares you with their 'wonderful' ex or any other close person, especially when the partner says you should behave or think like them. She however pointed out that in a good relationship, people should make their partners feel special, wonderful and should focus on the partner's strength rather than weakness.
Men think you are a sex addict when you satisfy them in bed - Bridget Amos Yoruba actress
Written by Ayo Onikoyi
~vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 29, 2017.
On-the-rise Yoruba actress, Bridget Amos has clear ideas about what she wants in her career and she seems to know exactly how to go about getting them. In one past interview with Potpourri, the busty Kwara State-born beauty said she loves setting certain standards for herself, and unlike many of her peers, she would produce only one film per year.
As cocky and as sure of herself as she is, Bridget seems to have issues with matters of the heart. In a recent post on Instagram, the actress vented her frustrations with loving a man and satisfying one.
"What do you really want? So complicated and confusing to please," she wrote, questioning men on her list.
"If you try to please them, you are cheap; if you make love to them you are a love peddler; if you don't, you are playing hard to get; if you show them love you are too emotional. If you give them attention, you are bugging them, and if you don't, you are with other men. If you dress sexy you are attracting other men, if you don't, you are awkward and local. If you cook; wash their clothes, you are desperate of getting married, if you don't , you are not a wife material"
Continuing: "If you're independent you are chasing other men; if you are dependent you are a liability. If you try to satisfy them in bed you are a sex addict; if you don't, you are making sex boring. If you get pregnant you want to trap them down; if you don't, you have damaged your womb. If you are beautiful, you can't stay with one man; if you are not, you are not up to the standard; if you ask for money you are too demanding and if you don't, you are forming". Then, she hits the nail on the head, "they think we can't do without them. At times, I don't think they know what they want".
~vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 29, 2017.
On-the-rise Yoruba actress, Bridget Amos has clear ideas about what she wants in her career and she seems to know exactly how to go about getting them. In one past interview with Potpourri, the busty Kwara State-born beauty said she loves setting certain standards for herself, and unlike many of her peers, she would produce only one film per year.As cocky and as sure of herself as she is, Bridget seems to have issues with matters of the heart. In a recent post on Instagram, the actress vented her frustrations with loving a man and satisfying one.
"What do you really want? So complicated and confusing to please," she wrote, questioning men on her list.
"If you try to please them, you are cheap; if you make love to them you are a love peddler; if you don't, you are playing hard to get; if you show them love you are too emotional. If you give them attention, you are bugging them, and if you don't, you are with other men. If you dress sexy you are attracting other men, if you don't, you are awkward and local. If you cook; wash their clothes, you are desperate of getting married, if you don't , you are not a wife material"
Continuing: "If you're independent you are chasing other men; if you are dependent you are a liability. If you try to satisfy them in bed you are a sex addict; if you don't, you are making sex boring. If you get pregnant you want to trap them down; if you don't, you have damaged your womb. If you are beautiful, you can't stay with one man; if you are not, you are not up to the standard; if you ask for money you are too demanding and if you don't, you are forming". Then, she hits the nail on the head, "they think we can't do without them. At times, I don't think they know what they want".
Do you honestly believe your wife could do without sex?!
Written by Candida
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 29, 2017.
REASONS people give for committing adultery gets more and more atrocious by the day. Gbemi had been married to Yori for four years after a courtship that lasted almost six years. Only, in the last few years, their relationship had disintegrated and when their son was born two years ago, the love-making stopped. According to Gbemi: "Sometimes I felt more like the nanny for his son than a wife. I did most of the chores helped by an inexperienced house- help, on top of which I had a full-time job. But I got no appreciation or affection in return.
"I'd tried everything I could think of to try to fix things. I'd dressed in sexy lingerie to try and seduce him. I'd even tried blatantly asking to have sex. But Yori was having none of it, always brushing me off with excuses. After which he started coming to bed hours after me. It had been two years since we last made love and I was at my wits' end. Our sex life had always been important to me. In my view it really helps a couple bond. Without it, you're just two people living together. In the end, I sat him down and demanded we talk about it. I told him: 'We need to deal with this because no matter what you think, this is destroying our relationship.'
"He looked uncomfortable and embarrassed. 'I just don't feel like having sex any more. I'm sorry, but the desire has gone.' He said, a bit sad. It was a blow – but what he said next shocked me to the core. 'If you want it so badly, why don't you try someone else?" I told him I wanted to save our marriage, not leave it. 'That's not what I mean,' he said, 'you could have an affair. I wouldn't mind. People do it all the time.' This was not the way I expected the conversation to go. I wanted him to agree to try harder, not suggest I try with someone else. 'I want you,' I shouted at him. 'I want to have sex with you, not with anyone else. I want my marriage to work! But he's come up with 'his' solution and wasn't budging.
"He repeated the offer over a few months. I guess he knew I wouldn't do it. He was just saying it to shut me up. We were at this impasse, stuck in a sexless marriage when I ran into Francis, an old flame. We had gone out while we were at the university and he told me he was recently divorced. He was still handsome, still his jovial self. Even though I hadn't seen him for over 15 years we got on well and I was still attracted to him. He jokingly said he wouldn't mind taking me to bed for old time's sake and I said 'why not'.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 29, 2017.
REASONS people give for committing adultery gets more and more atrocious by the day. Gbemi had been married to Yori for four years after a courtship that lasted almost six years. Only, in the last few years, their relationship had disintegrated and when their son was born two years ago, the love-making stopped. According to Gbemi: "Sometimes I felt more like the nanny for his son than a wife. I did most of the chores helped by an inexperienced house- help, on top of which I had a full-time job. But I got no appreciation or affection in return.
"I'd tried everything I could think of to try to fix things. I'd dressed in sexy lingerie to try and seduce him. I'd even tried blatantly asking to have sex. But Yori was having none of it, always brushing me off with excuses. After which he started coming to bed hours after me. It had been two years since we last made love and I was at my wits' end. Our sex life had always been important to me. In my view it really helps a couple bond. Without it, you're just two people living together. In the end, I sat him down and demanded we talk about it. I told him: 'We need to deal with this because no matter what you think, this is destroying our relationship.'
"He looked uncomfortable and embarrassed. 'I just don't feel like having sex any more. I'm sorry, but the desire has gone.' He said, a bit sad. It was a blow – but what he said next shocked me to the core. 'If you want it so badly, why don't you try someone else?" I told him I wanted to save our marriage, not leave it. 'That's not what I mean,' he said, 'you could have an affair. I wouldn't mind. People do it all the time.' This was not the way I expected the conversation to go. I wanted him to agree to try harder, not suggest I try with someone else. 'I want you,' I shouted at him. 'I want to have sex with you, not with anyone else. I want my marriage to work! But he's come up with 'his' solution and wasn't budging.
"He repeated the offer over a few months. I guess he knew I wouldn't do it. He was just saying it to shut me up. We were at this impasse, stuck in a sexless marriage when I ran into Francis, an old flame. We had gone out while we were at the university and he told me he was recently divorced. He was still handsome, still his jovial self. Even though I hadn't seen him for over 15 years we got on well and I was still attracted to him. He jokingly said he wouldn't mind taking me to bed for old time's sake and I said 'why not'.
When a man cheats on his wife!
Written by Yetunde Arebi
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 15, 2017.
Please, close your eyes for a minute. Now, imagine that something terrible just happened to you, such as an accident or illness, rendering you incapable of being in charge of your life. You have become so incapacitated, you can no longer run your own show. You can no longer bark out orders at your family and loved ones.
You are no longer that fire spitting boss at the office that everyone dreaded to cross path with. No longer are you that loud laughing, back pumping buddy to your friends and colleagues. Your beer guzzling and cigarette puffing addiction which you loved to call enjoyment can no longer be fed. Yes, imagine that you are now totally dependent on some other persons to help you get by.
You need someone to take care of your personal private needs, particularly toilet needs. Simple tasks such as bathing, brushing your teeth, eating, sitting, getting into your own bed, talking, laughing, and even taking your own medication have become the duty of some others. All you can do now is stare at the ceiling and into space as you lay in your bed like a zombie. What do you think would happen to you should you suddenly become a vegetable? Who do you think ought to be responsible for your care?
This was exactly what happened to Steve, a 59 year old business man when he suddenly suffered a severe stroke two years ago. According to Angelica, his wife of about 25 years, it all happened so suddenly late one night." Because we did not share a room, I did not realise that anything had happened to him until I woke up at about 5.30am to use the bathroom and heard a muffled sound coming from his room.
It was a strange sound, so I decided to check on him. Then, I saw him, lay out straight and staring at the ceiling, foaming from his mouth. I rushed out of our apartment and alerted the neighbours to help us get him to the hospital and called his siblings and some close family members too. Informing them of the development.
This was very important so no one would accuse me of keeping his condition a secret from them until something irreversible happened. As you are aware, a woman is usually held responsible for any condition or death of her husband in this part of the world, even if the cause of his death is public knowledge.
At the hospital, we were informed that he had suffered a full stroke which had affected his brain severely. He lost virtually all his senses, movement, coordination, speech, feeling (touch), he just lay there, with his eyes open without seeing anything or acknowledging anything. The family coughed out a fortune to save his life and God granted him favour. He survived but became a vegetable. The man I once knew is gone and may never return to that body".
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 15, 2017.
Please, close your eyes for a minute. Now, imagine that something terrible just happened to you, such as an accident or illness, rendering you incapable of being in charge of your life. You have become so incapacitated, you can no longer run your own show. You can no longer bark out orders at your family and loved ones.You are no longer that fire spitting boss at the office that everyone dreaded to cross path with. No longer are you that loud laughing, back pumping buddy to your friends and colleagues. Your beer guzzling and cigarette puffing addiction which you loved to call enjoyment can no longer be fed. Yes, imagine that you are now totally dependent on some other persons to help you get by.
You need someone to take care of your personal private needs, particularly toilet needs. Simple tasks such as bathing, brushing your teeth, eating, sitting, getting into your own bed, talking, laughing, and even taking your own medication have become the duty of some others. All you can do now is stare at the ceiling and into space as you lay in your bed like a zombie. What do you think would happen to you should you suddenly become a vegetable? Who do you think ought to be responsible for your care?
This was exactly what happened to Steve, a 59 year old business man when he suddenly suffered a severe stroke two years ago. According to Angelica, his wife of about 25 years, it all happened so suddenly late one night." Because we did not share a room, I did not realise that anything had happened to him until I woke up at about 5.30am to use the bathroom and heard a muffled sound coming from his room.
It was a strange sound, so I decided to check on him. Then, I saw him, lay out straight and staring at the ceiling, foaming from his mouth. I rushed out of our apartment and alerted the neighbours to help us get him to the hospital and called his siblings and some close family members too. Informing them of the development.
This was very important so no one would accuse me of keeping his condition a secret from them until something irreversible happened. As you are aware, a woman is usually held responsible for any condition or death of her husband in this part of the world, even if the cause of his death is public knowledge.
At the hospital, we were informed that he had suffered a full stroke which had affected his brain severely. He lost virtually all his senses, movement, coordination, speech, feeling (touch), he just lay there, with his eyes open without seeing anything or acknowledging anything. The family coughed out a fortune to save his life and God granted him favour. He survived but became a vegetable. The man I once knew is gone and may never return to that body".
A successful man is likely to make women orgasm during sex –Study
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, January 8, 2017.
Scientists and researchers believe that female orgasm is rare and uncommon, at least, among the humans.
Over the ages, men have been taught the technicalities of how to make a woman reach orgasm during sex - from how to locate the G-Spot, to how to fondle a woman before and after sex.
Well, a new research has built on the earlier ones, with a caveat: how often a woman experiences orgasm during sexual intercourse is related to her partner’s income, his self-confidence, and how attractive he is!
A new study published in Evolutional Psychology shows the extent to which female orgasm functions to promote good mate choices.
Based on a survey of heterosexual female college students in committed relationships, how often women experienced orgasm as a result of sexual intercourse was related to their partner’s family income, his self-confidence, and how attractive he was.
Orgasm intensity was also related to how attracted they were to their partners, how many times they had sex per week, and ratings of sexual satisfaction.
Those with partners who their friends rated as “more attractive” also tended to have more intense orgasms.
Sexual satisfaction was related to how physically attracted a woman was to her partner and the breadth of his shoulders.
Women who began having sexual intercourse at earlier ages had more sex partners, experienced more orgasms, and were more sexually satisfied with their partners.
"We also identified an ensemble of partner psychological traits (motivation, intelligence, focus, and determination) that predicted how often women initiated sexual intercourse.
"Their partner’s sense of humour not only predicted his self-confidence and family income, but it also predicted women’s propensity to initiate sex, how often they had sex, and it enhanced their orgasm frequency in comparison with other partners," said the lead author, Gordon G. Gallup Jr., a psychologist in the University at Albany’s Psychology department, researching biopsychology.
Scientists and researchers believe that female orgasm is rare and uncommon, at least, among the humans.Over the ages, men have been taught the technicalities of how to make a woman reach orgasm during sex - from how to locate the G-Spot, to how to fondle a woman before and after sex.
Well, a new research has built on the earlier ones, with a caveat: how often a woman experiences orgasm during sexual intercourse is related to her partner’s income, his self-confidence, and how attractive he is!
A new study published in Evolutional Psychology shows the extent to which female orgasm functions to promote good mate choices.
Based on a survey of heterosexual female college students in committed relationships, how often women experienced orgasm as a result of sexual intercourse was related to their partner’s family income, his self-confidence, and how attractive he was.
Orgasm intensity was also related to how attracted they were to their partners, how many times they had sex per week, and ratings of sexual satisfaction.
Those with partners who their friends rated as “more attractive” also tended to have more intense orgasms.
Sexual satisfaction was related to how physically attracted a woman was to her partner and the breadth of his shoulders.
Women who began having sexual intercourse at earlier ages had more sex partners, experienced more orgasms, and were more sexually satisfied with their partners.
"We also identified an ensemble of partner psychological traits (motivation, intelligence, focus, and determination) that predicted how often women initiated sexual intercourse.
"Their partner’s sense of humour not only predicted his self-confidence and family income, but it also predicted women’s propensity to initiate sex, how often they had sex, and it enhanced their orgasm frequency in comparison with other partners," said the lead author, Gordon G. Gallup Jr., a psychologist in the University at Albany’s Psychology department, researching biopsychology.
Why make so much noise during sex?!
Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Friday, January 6, 2017.
Have you ever woken up the morning after some mind-blowing sex and think: "Why did I tell him all that stuff while we were cuddling last night?" Apparently, you're not unique. Recent research shows that women who had an orgasm disclosed more of their positive thoughts and feeling about their partner afterward than those who didn't climax-and they don't feel as if they're taking a risk by doing that. Blame it on your brain chemicals making you feel trusting.
According to experts, an orgasm triggers the release of oxytocin, the feel-good neuro- chemical that also makes spooning (lying front to back with your partners) feet amazing. "People get loose-lipped after an orgasm because the oxytocin makes them think it's the right time to say gooey things," explains author Amanda Denes. "In serious relationships, a little sappy gab might not be a bad thing, but in casual situations, it's sort of a mixed bag. Professing your love to someone you've been seeing for a few weeks could scare him away, but it could also help take things to the next level. So when in doubt, err on the side of taciturnity and see if you still feet like spilling in the morning."
Deep down, we're all animals in bed. After all, sex is an extremely primal act, and when we use our verbal human brains to talk about it-it's clear that the tongue and the groin are linked (in a much less graphic way that you readers are picturing right now!) "Language communicates not only information but also meaning, feelings and symbols of internal realities," says Amanda Denes. "We can use it to make sex better in a mechanical, instructional sense, but it also makes the act more meaningful." In fact, a few choice words can set off the arousal response as swiftly as a sensual touch -especially in women who are more turned on by ideas than by visuals. But an off-colour or way-too-raunchy phrase from a man in your bed can turn you off just as quickly."
When Annie, a banker met Herbert, one of her bank's directors at the bank's award dinner, she was impressed by this sophisticated and powerful man sitting across her on their table. "I've always been drawn to powerful men," she confessed, "and Herbert was the type of gentleman that often attracted
~Vanguard Nigeria. Friday, January 6, 2017.
Have you ever woken up the morning after some mind-blowing sex and think: "Why did I tell him all that stuff while we were cuddling last night?" Apparently, you're not unique. Recent research shows that women who had an orgasm disclosed more of their positive thoughts and feeling about their partner afterward than those who didn't climax-and they don't feel as if they're taking a risk by doing that. Blame it on your brain chemicals making you feel trusting.
According to experts, an orgasm triggers the release of oxytocin, the feel-good neuro- chemical that also makes spooning (lying front to back with your partners) feet amazing. "People get loose-lipped after an orgasm because the oxytocin makes them think it's the right time to say gooey things," explains author Amanda Denes. "In serious relationships, a little sappy gab might not be a bad thing, but in casual situations, it's sort of a mixed bag. Professing your love to someone you've been seeing for a few weeks could scare him away, but it could also help take things to the next level. So when in doubt, err on the side of taciturnity and see if you still feet like spilling in the morning."
Deep down, we're all animals in bed. After all, sex is an extremely primal act, and when we use our verbal human brains to talk about it-it's clear that the tongue and the groin are linked (in a much less graphic way that you readers are picturing right now!) "Language communicates not only information but also meaning, feelings and symbols of internal realities," says Amanda Denes. "We can use it to make sex better in a mechanical, instructional sense, but it also makes the act more meaningful." In fact, a few choice words can set off the arousal response as swiftly as a sensual touch -especially in women who are more turned on by ideas than by visuals. But an off-colour or way-too-raunchy phrase from a man in your bed can turn you off just as quickly."
When Annie, a banker met Herbert, one of her bank's directors at the bank's award dinner, she was impressed by this sophisticated and powerful man sitting across her on their table. "I've always been drawn to powerful men," she confessed, "and Herbert was the type of gentleman that often attracted
Elusive female orgasm: who is to blame?
Written by Yetunde Arebi
~Vanguard Nigeria. Friday, December 16, 2016.
Female orgasm remains a contemporary issue in female sexual experience because of its complexity both scientifically and naturally. Many factors such as culture and tradition, religion, education. exposure, communication and personality also contribute to the difficulties faced by couples to make this happen with every sexual experience. In my quest to make this near magical experience more accessible to more women, I asked a couple of friends to share their views on the subject with me. It’s quite hilarious:
Bimbo Mate is a 46 year old Civil Servant and Relationship Counsellor. She thinks it is a now social problem:
This is a big problem between many couples. Some years ago, this was not a very important issue in many relationships. Not because it was not there, but because couples hardly talked about it nor did they actually make it a subject of discussion among their friends. But today, things have changed. Nigerians are more enlightened, we are not only more conscious of our surroundings, but of ourselves too.
Women who were hitherto, subservient to their men are now gaining more grounds by the day. There is educational freedom, economic freedom, and a conscious pursuit of good health and general well being on the part of individuals as a whole. So, many women are no longer interested in handouts and leftovers from the men. Even where the women still lack economic power, they have the advantage of education and social awareness to help them get their goals.
So, it’s only natural that things can no longer remain as they were some 30, 20, or even 10 years ago. Women now want to live a more pleasurable and fulfilled life. Back then, women who were bold enough to demand and take what they knew was good for them in relationships were often castigated and labelled. In extreme cases, their men may even seek divorce because of these women’s perceived overbearing attitude. But now, the reverse is more or less the case.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Friday, December 16, 2016.
Female orgasm remains a contemporary issue in female sexual experience because of its complexity both scientifically and naturally. Many factors such as culture and tradition, religion, education. exposure, communication and personality also contribute to the difficulties faced by couples to make this happen with every sexual experience. In my quest to make this near magical experience more accessible to more women, I asked a couple of friends to share their views on the subject with me. It’s quite hilarious:Bimbo Mate is a 46 year old Civil Servant and Relationship Counsellor. She thinks it is a now social problem:
This is a big problem between many couples. Some years ago, this was not a very important issue in many relationships. Not because it was not there, but because couples hardly talked about it nor did they actually make it a subject of discussion among their friends. But today, things have changed. Nigerians are more enlightened, we are not only more conscious of our surroundings, but of ourselves too.
Women who were hitherto, subservient to their men are now gaining more grounds by the day. There is educational freedom, economic freedom, and a conscious pursuit of good health and general well being on the part of individuals as a whole. So, many women are no longer interested in handouts and leftovers from the men. Even where the women still lack economic power, they have the advantage of education and social awareness to help them get their goals.
So, it’s only natural that things can no longer remain as they were some 30, 20, or even 10 years ago. Women now want to live a more pleasurable and fulfilled life. Back then, women who were bold enough to demand and take what they knew was good for them in relationships were often castigated and labelled. In extreme cases, their men may even seek divorce because of these women’s perceived overbearing attitude. But now, the reverse is more or less the case.
Six good times to have sex
Written by Tunde Ajaja
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, December 4, 2016.
For an activity that is both intensely pleasurable and medicinal, it seems understandable that people are paying more attention to it.
Sex has numerous benefits, including the fact that it boosts immune system, lowers blood pressure, it's a good form of exercise, helps to reduce the risk of prostate cancer in men, lowers risk of heart attack, improves sleep and brings about the release of feel good hormone (dopamine), love hormone (oxytocin), pain-killing hormone (endorphin) and many others which have positive effects on the body.
Being something that could take place anytime and in any (reasonable) place where the man or the woman feels like having 'it', one could think timing is not a factor when it comes to having a romp in the sack. But according to some scientists, there are specific times sex is good for the body, especially married couples, who do it without apprehension of being caught or the fear of pregnancy.
Given that the hormones influence how people feel anytime they are released, it seems pertinent to point out that sex can be more helpful at certain times than some other times, and some of the good times you should consider having 'it' include:
In the morning: It is a norm for men to want to have sex in the morning, because even by the time they wake up, their testosterone level is at the peak, usually at about 50 per cent more than any other time of the day, which explains why they usually wake up with an erection. But beyond the pleasure derivable from the response to stimuli, studies have shown that sex in the morning is good for the body. According to an American research scientist, Dr. Debby Herbenick, having sex in the morning makes couples feel more upbeat - positive and making them feel that good things will happen - throughout the day and it boosts their immune system. She also revealed that the endorphin hormone released boosts the mood of such persons, which could make their day exciting. She added, "Having sex in the morning also releases the feel-good chemical oxytocin, which makes couples feel loving all day long." This is perhaps more instructive for women who rarely want sex in the morning because their mind is not prepared for it, but prefer it at night.
After a day gone bad: Ordinarily, when people are depressed or frustrated about certain situations, keeping to themselves and being a recluse is usually the commonest response, and so sex could be the last thing on their minds, say when they get home later in the day, but according to experts, that is a good time to have sex. A Toronto-based sexologist, Jessica O'Reilly, told Women'sHealthMag that from holding hands to touching, hugging and getting down to the real thing with their partners could boost their mood at such times. She said, "Studies show that sex and other forms of physical affection, even holding hands, significantly improve your mood and lower stress levels for days to come. As long as your lover is not the source of the anger, such sex can be red hot." In other words, the release of love hormone, feel good hormone and other hormones that improve mood would relieve the person of such stress. It is however worthy of note that a man may not be in the mood for sex when he's down, more so that stress is one of the causes of erectile dysfunction, but findings have shown that men who pull themselves out of that distress and are receptive to the touch of their wives, tend to feel better after the sexual activity because of the hormones that would have been released. In fact, it has been argued that looking at romantic partners or having sex itself could reduce pain.
Between sexual fantasies and reality
Written by Yetunde Arebi
~Vanguard Nigeria. Monday, November 14, 2016.
Socially deviant sexual acts, date back to Biblical days with detailed records of several sexual acts as captured in the stories of Lot, the brother of Abraham and his wife and Lot's exit from the land of Sodom and Gomorah. Another story of incest was recorded in the story of Noah and his daughters. David's daughter, Tamarah also suffered the trauma of rape and incest in the hands of her brother.
All these were acts of sin before God and man considered them socially deviant. All the same they remained in the fabrics of society, underground acts to be performed under the cloak of darkness, behind tightly shut doors and princely parlours for the rich and powerful. Even as God forbade them, men enacted laws and punishments for those caught in the act of defiling the land and abusing their bodies and destroying the soul of society.
Yet, nothing seem capable of whipping us back into line and curtailing our wild imaginations. If you are one of those who think sex is a simple act performed between a man and a woman and that the missionary position is the most conventional and acceptable, you are in for a big surprise.
Almost on a daily basis, you get to read about all sorts of socially deviant sexual behaviours, some even involving so called men of God. While adultery, rape and incest seem to top the list, there are several other more shocking acts taking place, many shrouded in secrecy. For instance, sometime last year, 2015, stories broke about America's golden black boy, Bill Cosby and his alleged rape accusations.
It was revealed that over a dozen women at various times spanning almost three decades have accused him of luring them into apartments and sexually assaulting them. A peculiar feature in the manner of assault is that they all claim they were drugged. They recounted how they got to the apartments and were served drink meant to make them relax, only to discover that they had been violated on waking up from their forced state of stupor.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Monday, November 14, 2016.
Socially deviant sexual acts, date back to Biblical days with detailed records of several sexual acts as captured in the stories of Lot, the brother of Abraham and his wife and Lot's exit from the land of Sodom and Gomorah. Another story of incest was recorded in the story of Noah and his daughters. David's daughter, Tamarah also suffered the trauma of rape and incest in the hands of her brother.All these were acts of sin before God and man considered them socially deviant. All the same they remained in the fabrics of society, underground acts to be performed under the cloak of darkness, behind tightly shut doors and princely parlours for the rich and powerful. Even as God forbade them, men enacted laws and punishments for those caught in the act of defiling the land and abusing their bodies and destroying the soul of society.
Yet, nothing seem capable of whipping us back into line and curtailing our wild imaginations. If you are one of those who think sex is a simple act performed between a man and a woman and that the missionary position is the most conventional and acceptable, you are in for a big surprise.
Almost on a daily basis, you get to read about all sorts of socially deviant sexual behaviours, some even involving so called men of God. While adultery, rape and incest seem to top the list, there are several other more shocking acts taking place, many shrouded in secrecy. For instance, sometime last year, 2015, stories broke about America's golden black boy, Bill Cosby and his alleged rape accusations.
It was revealed that over a dozen women at various times spanning almost three decades have accused him of luring them into apartments and sexually assaulting them. A peculiar feature in the manner of assault is that they all claim they were drugged. They recounted how they got to the apartments and were served drink meant to make them relax, only to discover that they had been violated on waking up from their forced state of stupor.
What can hurt your sex life
Written by Funmi Akingbade
Phone: +234 8096762941, +234 8029593116
Phone: +234 8096762941, +234 8029593116
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, November 6, 2016.
Many of our readers have been sending countless questions to us wanting to know if there are other things that can hurt their sex life apart from bad addictive habits and some common illnesses that have been mentioned on this platform.
Do you know that being mere can hurt a couple's sex life? As simple as being over excited may look or appear, when married couples are not very mindful of this act, they are unknowingly destroying their sex bed. I am sure many of our readers may think this is not so. But do you know that sometimes, when men are overexcited about having sex, they totally forget about the needs of their wives. And what happens is that, during sex, the husband clumsily squeezes the wife's breast.
The point is that during intercourse, the wife is not warmed up and therefore does not enjoy sex as much as the husband. This action hurts couple's sex life and before you know it, the unsatisfied partner is either not showing interest any more or looking for sex elsewhere. So, husbands, go down on your wife like you mean it! If you want her to enjoy sex, then you neted to enjoy performing oral sex on her. Just like nothing is sexier to many husbands than wives giving them a blow job, nothing is sexier to many wives than a husband who enjoys giving oral pleasure. Documentation shows that only about 25 to 30 per cent of married women orgasm or reach climax through sex and most of these women need and likely want clitoral stimulation in addition to sex. I tell men that when you are through, still go down on your wife. You will be surprised to see another side of her, try it tonight. When you roll over after sex and tell her, 'sorry dear, it's just too hot, or I am so tired from office work, or don't worry, next time I will make out time, then you keep a foot of distance between you and her.
Maybe you chat with her a bit before falling asleep. She is noticeable annoyed and it will backfire sooner or later. Even if you are not someone who likes to touch after sex, you just must learn how to. You can start off small and make some kind of physical contact a normal part of your after-sex routine. Scratch her back for a little while and lay a little closer than normal. Once you have scratched her back for a while, move to a closer touch. Cuddling after sex will bring the two of you closer together. One of the most successful marriage relationships has been linked to bonds created after sex and cuddling. According to research, the way you approach your partner after sex is really important to how you approach your relationship in general. When you and your wife barely experience spark after sex, it could hurt your sex life.
 |
| Funmi Akingbade |
Many of our readers have been sending countless questions to us wanting to know if there are other things that can hurt their sex life apart from bad addictive habits and some common illnesses that have been mentioned on this platform.
Do you know that being mere can hurt a couple's sex life? As simple as being over excited may look or appear, when married couples are not very mindful of this act, they are unknowingly destroying their sex bed. I am sure many of our readers may think this is not so. But do you know that sometimes, when men are overexcited about having sex, they totally forget about the needs of their wives. And what happens is that, during sex, the husband clumsily squeezes the wife's breast.
The point is that during intercourse, the wife is not warmed up and therefore does not enjoy sex as much as the husband. This action hurts couple's sex life and before you know it, the unsatisfied partner is either not showing interest any more or looking for sex elsewhere. So, husbands, go down on your wife like you mean it! If you want her to enjoy sex, then you neted to enjoy performing oral sex on her. Just like nothing is sexier to many husbands than wives giving them a blow job, nothing is sexier to many wives than a husband who enjoys giving oral pleasure. Documentation shows that only about 25 to 30 per cent of married women orgasm or reach climax through sex and most of these women need and likely want clitoral stimulation in addition to sex. I tell men that when you are through, still go down on your wife. You will be surprised to see another side of her, try it tonight. When you roll over after sex and tell her, 'sorry dear, it's just too hot, or I am so tired from office work, or don't worry, next time I will make out time, then you keep a foot of distance between you and her.
Maybe you chat with her a bit before falling asleep. She is noticeable annoyed and it will backfire sooner or later. Even if you are not someone who likes to touch after sex, you just must learn how to. You can start off small and make some kind of physical contact a normal part of your after-sex routine. Scratch her back for a little while and lay a little closer than normal. Once you have scratched her back for a while, move to a closer touch. Cuddling after sex will bring the two of you closer together. One of the most successful marriage relationships has been linked to bonds created after sex and cuddling. According to research, the way you approach your partner after sex is really important to how you approach your relationship in general. When you and your wife barely experience spark after sex, it could hurt your sex life.
Dear Aunty Julie (Relationship, Romance, Healthe and Fitness) -|- My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage
Topics:
- My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage
- I feel guilty about cheating on him
- Help! I had anal s3x and started bleeding
- I'm in love with my husband's best friend
- How do I forgive his sexting
- My husband's friend is destroying our marriage
- My friends want me to sleep with an older woman
- He doesn't like sex during my period
- Sex with my husband is painful
- I love sex but I don't want anything serious
- My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage
- I feel uncomfortable around my father-in-law
- Aunty Julie, I have a crush on my best friend's brother
- I'm sexually attracted to a man at work, I'm married
- Wetness from my vagina dries into tiny crumbs, smells funny
- Dear Aunty Julie, Help! I am developing feelings for my teacher
- He's scared about sex during my period
- We had sex and I'm itching
- I was raped
- Her parents think we're too young
- My mom is too protective
- Is my lover’s passion strange?
Dear Julie, My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage
Written by Aunty Julie~Vanguard, Nigeria. November 11, 2016.
Aunty Julie,
My husband of two years is very sociable and has many close friends that we meet up with for dinner. But he also has clingy friend who comes to our home every Friday and stays until Sunday afternoon. I am often lying around in very little or feeding our baby. One morning he bumped into me naked in the bathroom.I feel as though my privacy is being invaded. My husband just expects me to chat to him but I am getting angry and we end up having huge fights. If I blame my husband, his friend jumps in and ticks me off. When we went to his house he put on a pornographic film and both he and my husband started grinning at me.
Even on our first anniversary supper this man turned up at the restaurant and joined us for coffee. My husband promises to talk to him but nothing has changed. He texts and telephones my husband every day. This man is nice and he loves our daughter, but I feel as if I am in competition with him for my husband’s attention. How can I stop him coming around all the time.
Anonymous, Lagos.
Dear Anonymous,
Neither your husband nor his friend are being fair to you. To use Princess Diana’s much quoted phrase, there are three of us in this marriage. No wife would want another man there all weekend, leaving her little time to be with her husband. It is difficult enough to find time to just be a couple when there is a new baby, let alone when there is someone else there all the time.
So talk to your husband once more and ask him to tell his friend that you want more time as a couple. It would be fine if he stayed over once a month or came for supper sometimes, but not nearly so frequently. If your husband does nothing then you should talk to his friend yourself. Explain that you like him but you want more time as a couple.
You could offer to find him a girlfriend to keep him occupied . He should definitely not be joining you on your next wedding anniversary. I assume your husband and this man are not in a relationship.
---------------------------------------------------
Dear Julie, I feel guilty about cheating on him
~Vanguard, Nigeria. Friday, September 2, 2016.
Aunty Julie,
My guy and I have been together for the past 10 years. We have been living together but we are not married and my family is kicking. I have always felt like we had a pretty good relationship and although I am away for work quite often, I have never felt tempted to stray.
But last year, I met another guy at a conference and we clicked well and ended up talking for hours. However, one thing led to another and things happened that I never intended to happen. I's not really a big deal but I'm actually dying inside over the guilt I have now.
I haven't seen the guy again but I am struggling because on one hand, I want to tell my partner but on the other, I feel like it will hurt him so much.
I don't know if it's the right thing to do. At the same time, I also wonder to myself why this happened and if I'm happy in my relationship, what made this so available and easy? Is there something more, is there a reason this happened?
Laila, Kogi
Dear Laila,
You are feeling guilty and confused. You seem to care but wonder how you could do this at the same time. The truth is, when our feelings, thoughts and behaviours don't match, we enter the state of cognitive dissonance, which is usually difficult until we get aligned by either reassessing our values or changing our behaviours, so that things line up again.
You are struggling because you are evolving and growing from the situation inside you. But I'm curious if you are more troubled by telling your partner the truth or feeling the judgments. The biggest judge is the person in the mirror. Just like you can love someone but not everything they do, you can love yourself but not everything you've done. That might be a starting point.
I would love to marry a man who likes sex -Linda Ikeji
Written by Rotimi Agbana
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, November 6, 2016.
Famous Nigerian blogger, Linda Ikeji, needs no introduction because she has already made a name for herself in her chosen choice of trade. The ace blogger who has diligently put in a decade of her lifetime into the now proliferated trade of blogging, recently decided to discuss the things she requires in a man she would love to marry.
According to Linda, any man who would finally claim her heart and eventually take her to the altar must be dexterous and highly skillful at the things of the inner room. When asked if she has been getting proposals from suitors as well as what she requires in a man she would love to marry, she dropped some interesting points. "I'm getting quite a lot of proposals.
You know people say when a woman is successful, men run away, it's a lie, that is when they chase you the more. But unfortunately, I haven't seen what I'm looking for. To be honest, I keep telling people, it's not like men are scarce, it's the type of man some of us are looking for that is scarce, if I want to marry next year I can, but he would not be the kind of man I want.
I want a man that I can look up to, someone that inspires me, someone that would push me, someone that would motivate me, somebody that has had some success in his own career path, then I can look up to him and be like "wow", a man that teaches me and I can learn from. I'm inspired by successful people, someone like Tyler Perry, I can't wait to meet him. I can't marry a poor guy, I'm being honest about it, no I can't, he doesn't have to be very rich but let him be successful in his own way. You may come across some successful men but there is something wrong there, so the whole package is what I'm looking for.
When I was like 30-years old, my standards were very high, extremely high, but I wasn't looking at marrying, I was just focused on work because I've always been so ambitious that I wasn't focusing on marriage or kids. I felt like I should just do what I wanted to do. It was just recently that I began to think about marriage, and to be honest, my requirements are only three now. He must be successful, he must be a good man, in the sense that he must be supportive of me, if he tries to stifle me then I'm out. Lastly, he has to be a man that likes sex and must be very good at it", she stated.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, November 6, 2016.
 |
| Linda Ikeji |
According to Linda, any man who would finally claim her heart and eventually take her to the altar must be dexterous and highly skillful at the things of the inner room. When asked if she has been getting proposals from suitors as well as what she requires in a man she would love to marry, she dropped some interesting points. "I'm getting quite a lot of proposals.
You know people say when a woman is successful, men run away, it's a lie, that is when they chase you the more. But unfortunately, I haven't seen what I'm looking for. To be honest, I keep telling people, it's not like men are scarce, it's the type of man some of us are looking for that is scarce, if I want to marry next year I can, but he would not be the kind of man I want.
I want a man that I can look up to, someone that inspires me, someone that would push me, someone that would motivate me, somebody that has had some success in his own career path, then I can look up to him and be like "wow", a man that teaches me and I can learn from. I'm inspired by successful people, someone like Tyler Perry, I can't wait to meet him. I can't marry a poor guy, I'm being honest about it, no I can't, he doesn't have to be very rich but let him be successful in his own way. You may come across some successful men but there is something wrong there, so the whole package is what I'm looking for.
When I was like 30-years old, my standards were very high, extremely high, but I wasn't looking at marrying, I was just focused on work because I've always been so ambitious that I wasn't focusing on marriage or kids. I felt like I should just do what I wanted to do. It was just recently that I began to think about marriage, and to be honest, my requirements are only three now. He must be successful, he must be a good man, in the sense that he must be supportive of me, if he tries to stifle me then I'm out. Lastly, he has to be a man that likes sex and must be very good at it", she stated.
When your man needs 'outside' help'!
Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, September 11, 2016.
With many of our men complaining of different types of 'accidents' in the bedroom, it is no surprise that the help of what is now termed a 'sexual surrogate' could come in handy. The average 'sexual surrogate' is not a prostitute but a trained psychotherapist who acts as a surrogate for men suffering from a variety of sexual problems which are hampering their ability to have a normal physical relationship.
Padma Deva is currently a highly successful surrogate based in the UK. She said she's never had a negative experience with a client, and far from feeling in any way degraded by her work, she finds it emotionally fulfilling.
According to her: "It is wonderful to witness the transformation my clients undergo, and knowing I have played a part in that is rewarding. During an initial consultation with a new client, I recommend a client sees their doctor to rule out physical causes for their sexual problems such as diabetes or high blood pressure."
If surrogacy is deemed appropriate, she asks her client to take a sexually transmitted disease test before hand. Only then can the surrogacy work begin. To start with, both client' and surrogate may remain fully clothed, focusing on exercises such as touching each other's hands, arms, shoulders and face. As the therapy advances, the client and the surrogate may build up to removing their clothes, engaging in genital contact and, if necessary and appropriate, full sexual intercourse.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, September 11, 2016.
With many of our men complaining of different types of 'accidents' in the bedroom, it is no surprise that the help of what is now termed a 'sexual surrogate' could come in handy. The average 'sexual surrogate' is not a prostitute but a trained psychotherapist who acts as a surrogate for men suffering from a variety of sexual problems which are hampering their ability to have a normal physical relationship.
Padma Deva is currently a highly successful surrogate based in the UK. She said she's never had a negative experience with a client, and far from feeling in any way degraded by her work, she finds it emotionally fulfilling.
According to her: "It is wonderful to witness the transformation my clients undergo, and knowing I have played a part in that is rewarding. During an initial consultation with a new client, I recommend a client sees their doctor to rule out physical causes for their sexual problems such as diabetes or high blood pressure."
If surrogacy is deemed appropriate, she asks her client to take a sexually transmitted disease test before hand. Only then can the surrogacy work begin. To start with, both client' and surrogate may remain fully clothed, focusing on exercises such as touching each other's hands, arms, shoulders and face. As the therapy advances, the client and the surrogate may build up to removing their clothes, engaging in genital contact and, if necessary and appropriate, full sexual intercourse.
Do women have erectile dysfunction?
Written by Funmi Akingbade
~Punch Nigeria. Friday, September 9, 2016.
 |
| Funmi Akingbade |
While research suggests that sexual erectile dysfunction is more common in men, 43 per cent of women have reported some degree of this problem. I must say that it is actually a topic that many women are hesitant or embarrassed to discuss. Fortunately, most cases of erectile sexual dysfunction in women are traceable to ignorance, lack of desire, childhood sexual abuse, mind-set, hormonal problems, premenopausal issues, depression, medication, unhappy marital relationship and sicknesses. Female sexual dysfunction can also be as a result of a physical or psychological problem. These conditions include diabetes, heart disease, neurological diseases, hormonal imbalances, menopause, plus such chronic diseases as kidney disease or liver failure, and alcoholism or drug abuse. In addition, the side effects of certain medications, including some antidepressant drugs, can affect sexual desire and function. Psychological causes include work-related stress and anxiety, concern about sexual performance, marital or relationship problems, depression, feelings of guilt, or the effects of a past sexual trauma.
The most common problems related to erectile sexual dysfunction in women include inhibited sexual desire, which involves a lack of sexual desire or interest in sex. Of course, many factors can contribute to a lack of desire, including hormonal changes, medical conditions and treatments (for example, some menstrual pain drugs, cancer and chemotherapy), depression, pregnancy, stress, and fatigue. Ironically, even boredom with regular sexual routines may also contribute to a lack of enthusiasm for sex; lifestyle factors such as careers, the care for children and family life can also cause it.
11 things you didn’t know kissing does to you
~Vanguard Nigeria. Friday, September 2, 2016.
We all enjoy a really good kiss, but did you know that locking lips with someone makes you live longer, helps prevent tooth decay and burns calories?
Apart from the obvious bacteria swapping and reducing stress levels, it turns out there is plenty more to know about a good snog with your partner, lover, or whoever else you happen to be swapping saliva with.
Author David Wolfe has produced a video on the 11 thinks you never knew about kissing, and these are the surprising facts, captured UK’s The Sun.
1. It increases life expectancy
Men who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer than men who don't.
2. It prevents tooth decay
Kissing increases the mouth's production of saliva, which helps to clean the mouth and prevent tooth decay.
3. We swap more than just germs
We swap an average of 9ml of water, 0.7mg of protein, 0.18mg of organic compounds, 0.71mg of different fats and 0.45mg of sodium chloride when we lock lips.
4. But there are still A LOT of germs involved
One millilitre of saliva contains about 100,000,000 bacteria.
5. It actually burns calories - get kissing, ladies
Couples can burn anywhere between 2 and 26 calories per minute while kissing and can use up to 30 muscles.
6. We do a lot of it
We all enjoy a really good kiss, but did you know that locking lips with someone makes you live longer, helps prevent tooth decay and burns calories?Apart from the obvious bacteria swapping and reducing stress levels, it turns out there is plenty more to know about a good snog with your partner, lover, or whoever else you happen to be swapping saliva with.
Author David Wolfe has produced a video on the 11 thinks you never knew about kissing, and these are the surprising facts, captured UK’s The Sun.
1. It increases life expectancy
Men who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer than men who don't.
2. It prevents tooth decay
Kissing increases the mouth's production of saliva, which helps to clean the mouth and prevent tooth decay.
3. We swap more than just germs
We swap an average of 9ml of water, 0.7mg of protein, 0.18mg of organic compounds, 0.71mg of different fats and 0.45mg of sodium chloride when we lock lips.
4. But there are still A LOT of germs involved
One millilitre of saliva contains about 100,000,000 bacteria.
5. It actually burns calories - get kissing, ladies
Couples can burn anywhere between 2 and 26 calories per minute while kissing and can use up to 30 muscles.
6. We do a lot of it
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
