How do you know your man or woman loves you?

~The SUN Nigeria. Sunday, February 19, 2017.

Love is a popular word. People crave to be loved. People love and accept love in return. Men and women create love stories. Others want to be identified with beautiful love stories.

When you look around you, you see couples beaming with smiles and savouring the euphoria that comes with falling in love and building relationships.

Love is sweet for those who know what it means to love and be loved. Love is beautiful for those who know that loving someone means commitment, faithfulness, affection and loyalty.

Love makes your heart skip a beat. Love makes your head swoon. Love propels lovers to seek for new ways to please their partners. Love makes you content with whatever you have.

Falling in love is one of the most exciting, rewarding and scariest things you could ever do. It is exciting because you are happy to share your life with someone else. It is rewarding because you know you are loved back in return and it is scary because many people get hurt loving others, but you decide to take the plunge all the same.

Once you are in love with someone, it's hard to remember how you lived without him or her. Of course, you were alive before you met this person, but you really didn't start living until the two of you met.

Everyone experiences love differently, and at different times. Even the meaning of love cannot be explained, because it means different things to different people. Anyone who's experienced it knows it's the best feeling ever.

But how can you tell that someone loves you? How can you be sure that your man or woman feels the same about you? What are some of the pointers to being loved? How can you differentiate between true love and the feeling of convenience many mistake for love?

One of the things that will show you that you are loved is when your man or woman never gets tired of being with you. If she cooks up excuses about spending time with you, it's not only because you have mouth odour, it's also because she doesn't want to be with you. Stop trying so hard to be in someone's life if they clearly don't want to be with you.

Ladies, stop running after men who don't want to be with you. If he always gives you excuses about meeting up with you, give him space. Love should not be one sided. You are too precious to be toyed with by one small boy all in the name of seeking companionship.

It's none of his business the number of partners you've 'had'!

Candida by Okogba
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 12, 2017.

A young friend of mine recently met the man of her dreams. In the whirlwind courtship that followed, they quickly got round to the conversational games that lovers play. And so it was that Mr. Right asked Miss Right; "How many men have you slept with? The sensible girl immediately reversed the question, to which 'he answered '13'. She then replied with a circumspect '10'.

"How many is it really?" I asked excitedly. `Somewhere between a hundred and a hundred and ten', she said, not batting.an eye lid. "So why did she say 10?" ` I just thought that whatever he said, mine should be less'. How brutally honest can you get? 100 to 110 guys in how many years?!

This little story got me thinking what most latter day emotional, Shylock Holmes, think they are letting themselves in for when they seem bent on digging into past histories of their new lovers! It is a really funny question when you are faced with that kind of a quandary.

"As a regular rule," continued our woman-of-the world, "a woman would do well to gauge her answer from a man's. But what happens if he says 400? Would a response of 308 show a charmingly coy sexual reticence or elicit an indignant 'you're not the mother of my future children" from her shocked partner?

"One thing you should avoid saying is that you can't remember because that could reflect badly on you. I can't remember? That many, is it? She continues: "As a rule, men, automatically double the real figure and women automatically half it. Factual information backs up the theory. There are lies, damn lies and statistics and then there are sexual statistics which must be special kind of double lie. 'Whatever lies you tell, you need to get your head above the proverbial troubled waters!

"How many people you sleep with is a private matter. How many people you admit to having slept with is a social matter and, therefore, a question of manners. What you tell your friend is different from what you tell your lovers. People want to feel special, not as though they are part of a sprawling number game. A white lie isn't necessarily a wicked deceit, but could be simple courtesy. Why tread on someone's dreams when you can just as easily not?"

Good common sense, that is, if you ask me. Only it is amazing, how many good relationships are put in jeopardy in the male partners' quest to find out how promiscuous their female partners are. Are they as promiscuous as 'friends' say they are? At one of our 'old-students' renewals recently, we reverted to nostalgia, asking about old boyfriends. One of us looked particularly – sad and it expired that after her studies, she became pregnant and planned excitedly for a wedding with the love of her life. She was more than bewildered when the boy practically disappeared from the face of the earth.

8 signs your relationship is heading for the rocks

Written by Tunde Ajaja
Punch Nigeria. Friday, February 10, 2017.

Being in a loving relationship can be exciting, and for people having such an experience, life is just good and worth living. But in some cases, that ecstatic or pleasant feeling does not last forever, in which case couples could start having issues with themselves.

Sometimes, couples could resolve those issues and move on, but at other times, such issues could be the beginning of the end of that relationship, without one of the parties knowing the relationship was already on the line.

And as it has been said several times, most relationships that eventually crash once had their own good times, thus it could sometimes be difficult knowing a relationship is in troubled waters. But, according to a psychologist, Honey Langcaster-James, in her chat with Mail Online, people who are getting unsettled about their marriage could do an appraisal on what used to be and what it is at the moment, to determine if all is well in the relationship.

This implies that there are signs that could show if one's partner is tired of a relationship or if the relationship is headed for the rocks, and these include:

If your partner frequently compares you to an ex: It is not abnormal to have certain expectations from one's partner, and in an ideal situation, experts say people should be able to constructively convey their thoughts and expectations to such a partner without injuring their self esteem. According to Langcaster-James, one of the good ways to know your partner is tired of the relationship is if he or she frequently compares you with their 'wonderful' ex or any other close person, especially when the partner says you should behave or think like them. She however pointed out that in a good relationship, people should make their partners feel special, wonderful and should focus on the partner's strength rather than weakness.

The unforgivable sin: Dating a broke man

~The SUN Nigeria. Sunday, January 29, 2017.

"It is really sad that Yomi will pay me evil for good after all I did for him. I loved Yomi with my whole life and I was faithful to him all through our four years of courtship. I met him when he was a broke ass and literarily had nothing to his name. But I didn't care, because I saw he had all the potentials.

Everyone warned me, but I never listened. I split my salary to two every month end for 3 years. I paid his rent, fed and clothed him. He even used my car freely while I jumped on buses to work. My friends all thought I was crazy doing this, and then I got him a job and our world began to fall apart.

Yomi became a stranger; he started complaining that I was too fat, that I looked older than him and that our sex life was boring.

Believe me, I did all I could; I started dieting, I joined a gym club, I dressed to please him and I read all I could about sex.

But he didn't change and it was obvious he was out to frustrate me.

Three months ago, I saw the shocker on Instagram. He had proposed to another girl. She was younger, slimmer and was everything I wanted to be for Yomi." Nike, an accountant lamented.

I am very certain that in our circle of friends, we all have a Nike. We all have a relative like Nike, who refuses to see what all others are seeing and chooses to ignore all the screaming red flags in her relationship.


Many women like to focus on irrelevancies when it comes to going into a relationship. They prefer to focus more on the fun and sexy parts. They ignore the practical issues because things are exciting and passionate at the moment.

Wait a second please! I am not talking to teenagers here; I am talking to people who fall into "are you the one?" fabulous age bracket. I believe you guys don't have to fall in love based on how cute a guy is or what he promises to do. I am sure you are past the age where you will be fantasizing about his potentials or how cute your kids might look in the future.

Lagos, Na-waa! - UNTOLD STORY OF IJORA RAIL-LINE: Melting pot of oddities

Topics:

• UNTOLD STORY OF IJORA RAIL-LINE: Melting pot of oddities
• Inside Lagos 'under bridge' world
• In Lagos traffic, you can buy anything, including television
• Goodbye molue • Gradually, kings of Lagos roads disappear
• Lagos! Na-wa! ...Now and Then
• 5 crazy things you shouldn't do in Lagos buses

______________________________________________


UNTOLD STORY OF IJORA RAIL-LINE: Melting pot of oddities
~The SUN Nigeria. Tuesday, January 24, 2017.

Indeed, the community of Ijora Badia, on the railway line, in Apapa/Ajeromi Local Council Development Area of Lagos State, is a constellation of absurdity. It is a melange of miscreants, roughnecks, gangsters, fraudsters and prostitutes. It also harbours good people, who engage in provision of services, such as hair dressing, pedicure and manicure as well as petty trading, among others.


This Lagos suburb is an enclave that stretches about 400 metres or thereabout along the railway line, which runs from Ijora to Iddo. The environment is filthy with euglena infested brackish lagoon, which, ostensibly, has the capacity to harbour dangerous reptiles. The stagnant, brackish water laced with all kinds of refuse breeds mosquitoes in their millions.


From Ijora bus-stop, a macadamised Fadaini Street, which links the bus-stop with the Ijora Badia railway line community, gives a wrong impression of where it leads. On both sides of the street are shops that display different wares, ranging from electronic equipment to clothes, shoes and bags, among other articles of trade. But, the point at which the link road crossed the railway brings one to another reality. It exposes one to a community on the railway, which bubbles with plethora of indecent and unspeakable activities. That is to the right hand side of the railway from Ijora bus-stop, through Fadaini Street.



However, for somebody who entered the railway from the under bridge situated opposite the Nigeria Breweries in the Orile-Iganmu area of the state, the first sight tells the entire story of what lies ahead. Just as one leaves the under bridge and heads towards Ijora through the railway line, an array of ladies of easy virtue immediately comes to the fore. They appear in their seductive mood, sitting and standing psychedelically in front of the make-shift wooden house of about seven rooms erected just about 30 metres away from the railway line.


The swampy side of the railway is replete with clusters of large wooden cabin suspended up to six feet on top of the brackish swamp. There are several of such accommodations housing half naked, haggard, dishevelled, fierce-looking women of all sizes, shapes and ages. In fact, one could rightly say that the cabins are brothels on the lagoon.


By 10am when Daily Sun visited the enclave, some of the women, especially the older ones, appeared worn-out with bulging, sleepy red eyes, which was an indication that they must have had a busy night the previous day. It could also be an indication that business is booming, even with the economic recession currently plaguing the country. Even as they intermittently shut their eyes and nod their heads involuntarily as they fight against sleep trying to envelope them, reliable sources revealed that they are still ready for action if a customer calls.


The old whore

Looking at the age bracket of some of the women, who are seemingly in their 50s, one wonders how they are able to withstand numerous men, who patronise them. This concern becomes heightened, considering the fact that most of their clients live on sex enhancing drugs (aphrodisiac). Not only that they look old, they also smoke and drink, as they wait patiently for their clients. They use different non-verbal cues to attract men's attention.

One of them made a snake-like sound to attract the attention of the Daily Sun reporter. The woman was disappointed when the reporter refused to go inside but chose to take her to a corner for a chat. Her mien changed to anger but on assurance that her time would be adequately compensated in financial terms, she relaxed and the earlier smiles on her face returned. On how women as old as she are able to withstand the pressures of men, especially the younger ones and those who live on sex enhancer, she said: "Yes, it is true that the older a woman becomes, the weaker she becomes when it comes to the matter of sex. But, in this business, experience matters a lot. It is not all about energy and youthfulness. It is about tactics and skills – knowing how to press the right buttons at the right time and the deed is done. It is not something I can explain how it works for you standing here but if you think you are man enough to challenge me, we can just go in and you will see the stuff women of my generation are made off."


Younger whores

For the younger ladies, most of whom appear tattered and unkempt, they sit in clusters with their navels on display as well as their breasts shooting out like balloons. Although, the sight of those riotous breasts would appear repulsive to any reasonable man, as stretch marks run horizontally and vertically across, the male folks in the community, who appear morally depraved and who seem no less better, find such commodity very luscious, salacious and sexually scintillating. And they savour them whenever they want. The girls wear skimpy tight skirts and shorts that expose their thighs up to their pubic region, but like the breast, such exposures are also very repugnant. This is because instead of robust and sexy thighs, which would spark a hot blood through the sexual veins of any healthy man, what is exposed are coarse, rough, stretch-marked and mosquito bite-infested thighs.


The ladies in this breast terror, navel and thigh exposure business are lined up along the railway line. Both young and old women find breasts pumping as the rave of the moment – a fashion in vogue.


From investigation, it appears that any lady who fails to expose her breasts in such a very tempting manner could be seen as a deviant. It is right to conclude that at Ijora Badia, breasts are on parade because there is a breast fair any time any day for willing viewers. While some display their wares in front of the makeshift wooden houses, others step forward at the base of the rail to display theirs and pretend to be recharge card sellers or phone call vendors.


Checks revealed that the women had ready and booming market in the male folk of the community, who are mostly gamblers, drug addicts and fraudsters.


Baby and deformed whores

A closer observation also revealed that the enclave equally parades under-age as well as physically challenged prostitutes. Most of the under-age or baby prostitutes are deviants, who run away from their homes within the Ijora Badia neighbourhood. They found solace in the life on the railway. They engage in stiff competion with the older girls. Some of them ply their trade carrying their babies.

Mom's blood pressure predicts baby's sex before conception -Scientists

~Punch Nigeria. Thursday, January 19, 2017. 

Some Canadian scientists have said that it is possible to determine the sex of a baby months before it is even conceived.

They say that a woman's blood pressure at around 26 weeks before conception could tell if she will have a boy or a girl.

"Higher systolic blood pressure signals she will deliver a boy while lower suggests a girl," says endocrinologist at Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto, Dr. Ravi Retnakaran.

In a study published in the American Journal of Hypertension, the researchers reached the conclusion as they tried to determine what is responsible for the ratio between girls and boys in a population.

In the new study, the mean systolic blood pressure reading for women who had boys was 106 mm Hg, compared to 103 mm Hg for those who had girls, in the months leading up to conception.

"When a woman becomes pregnant, the sex of a foetus is determined by whether the father's sperm provides an X or Y chromosome and there is no evidence that this probability varies in humans," added Dr. Retnakaran

"What is believed to vary is the proportion of male or female foetuses that is lost during pregnancy

"This study suggests that either lower blood pressure is indicative of a mother's physiology that is less conducive to survival of a male foetus or that higher blood pressure before pregnancy is less conducive to survival of a female foetus.

"This novel insight may hold implications for both reproductive planning and our understanding of the fundamental mechanisms underlying the sex ratio in humans,” he disclosed.

For the study, 1,411 newly-married Chinese women were recruited, all of whom were trying to become pregnant.

Their blood pressure was checked at around 26 weeks before conception and they were followed through pregnancy. Overall, the women gave birth to 739 boys and 672 girls.

Why you don't have to exercise every day

~Punch Nigeria. Tuesday, January 17, 2017.

Exercise is one of the best ways to avoid chronic diseases like diabetes and cancer, as well as an early death. But it can be tough to squeeze into a schedule: Health experts recommend about 150 minutes of moderate activity, or 75 minutes of vigorous, breath-sapping exercise, each week.

Since daily exercise isn't realistic for everyone, researchers decided to study whether people who tend to cram their weekly exercise into one or two days on the weekend (so-called "weekend warriors") get the same benefits as those who exercise daily. In the new research published in JAMA Internal Medicine, they found that how often a person exercises might not make a difference in determining how long a person lives.

Gary O'Donovan, a research associate in the Exercise as Medicine program at Loughborough University in England, and his colleagues analyzed data from national health surveys of more than 63,000 people, conducted in England and Scotland. People who said they exercised only one or two days a week lowered their risk of dying early from any cause by 30 per cent to 34 per cent compared to people who were inactive. But what was more remarkable was that people who exercised most days of the week lowered their risk by 35 per cent not very different from those who exercised less.


The findings support the idea that some physical activity-even if it's less than what the guidelines prescribe-helps avoid premature death. Researchers saw benefits for people who squeezed the entire recommended 150 minutes per week into one or two days, as well as for people who didn't quite meet that threshold and exercised less.

Exercise was also effective at reducing the risk of heart-related death. The people who exercised regularly and those who exercised a couple days a week both cut their risk by about 40 per cent. Again, the frequency of exercise didn't seem to matter.

The same was true for risk of death from cancer. Those who exercised-whether it was every day or only a few days-lowered their risk of dying from cancer by 18 per cent to 21 per cent, compared to those who didn't exercise. This risk reduction was true whether they met the recommended physical activity requirements or not.

"The main point our study makes is that frequency of exercise is not important," says O'Donovan. "There really doesn't seem to be any additional advantage to exercising regularly. If that helps people, then I'm happy."

The results remained significant even after O'Donovan accounted for other variables that could explain the relationship, including a person's starting BMI. In fact, the benefits were undeniable for people of all weights, including people who were overweight and obese.

That should be heartening to anyone who finds it hard to carve out time for physical activity every day.