Written by Funmi Akingbade - Nigeria
A man recently walked into my office with his wife and looked straight into my eyes and said, 'Please can you teach me how to make my wife experience a breast orgasm?'
'Breast orgasm', I asked? And he nodded and repeated after me and said, 'Yes Madam, breast orgasm'. He continued, 'My marriage clocked four years yesterday and I have done all to make my wife respond to me. But she seems not to be interested in sex with me in particular, because, according to her, I only waste her time and kill her libido during sex. And after long hours of persuasion and pleading, she would simply say her idea of good sex is when I make her experience breast orgasm. She said that was what her former boyfriend used to do to make her enjoy sex to the ultimate level.
'Madam, apart from the fact I was psychologically deflated that my wife still preferred another man on bed or still carried the memories of her former lover, I also want to learn and do better,' he said.
The breasts are one of the erogenous zones and while some women are able to reach orgasm from breast stimulation alone, some others may not be able to. The idea of some women experiencing breast orgasm with or without any genital stimulation could sound stressful and perplexing to many husbands who do not see any reasons for foreplay or love play. But this is, by 80 per cent, one of the many libidoral fantasies of a good number of married women. The fear of, 'how will my husband respond to this if I bring up the subject', has incapacitated this idea from the mind of many of these wives.
The orgasm this category of women normally feel is not just in their nipples, but throughout their breasts, though more intense around the areolas. Scientifically, the breasts can swell up to 25 per cent when a woman is aroused. This boost makes the breasts super sensitive, and quite larger. Nipple stimulation actually activates the same region of the brain as clitoral, vaginal and cervical stimulation do. Research has discovered that stimulation of the nipple activates an area of the brain known as the genital sensory cortex.
This is the same brain region activated by stimulation of the clitoris, vagina and cervix. What this means is that women's brains seem to process nipple and genital stimulation in the same way. In the light of this, it is not at all surprising that many wives are aroused by having their nipples rightfully touched and that, for some, this may be enough to lead to orgasm. During this time, the nipple actually goes from a pale erected organ to a deeper manner, the more a woman is aroused. This is true because the blood flow increases when a woman is turned on. This sexy gentle nipple stimulation may be what it takes to send many wives over the edge for orgasm and the desire for passionate sex. As a matter of fact, this is the most compensatory help for many circumcised wives.
However, just as breasts come in all shapes, sizes and colours, wives' preferences during breast play do differ. Majority of women may love having their nipples caressed while some might find this not important. Also, breast sensitivity changes with women's menstrual cycles, so what some wives may literally like this week, may be a piss off the next week. The mysterious rhythm of a woman's body is kind of exciting. It is very needful for the husband to understudy this and be equipped with relevant facts.
A woman's breasts contain the same trigger-happy nerves found in the clitoris making breast orgasm the second most common form of orgasms for women. That is the reason the nipples reach out for more when kissed, caressed or stimulated. But most husbands simply ignore these magnificent twin globes in a rush to head down south to get to where they think is the best possibility for orgasm.
The woman's breasts at any stage, (even if the shape is pendulum, flat, small, sagged) have a direct hotline to her clitoris and when breast play is done with skill and finesse, it can lead to a dazzling multiple orgasm for her. At the very least, breast and nipple stimulation can even over-raise the libido of a woman that has undergone bad circumcision, and send her arousal soaring with pleasure!
Just as there is no 'one-size-fits-all' bra, there isn't any one method that will work for every wife all the time. Breast sensitivity, hormonal changes, her personal preferences, etc., will influence your choice of technique. If you, as the husband, are not sure as at how best to proceed, you both can be naked and sit facing each other in the nude and get her to show you what arouses her.
Think about it, inasmuch as you wouldn't like it if your wife just grabbed your penis out of nowhere and started jerking it around roughly, she needs to be warmed up first by light, soft and slow stimulation. And please don't just do one thing over and over. It may become too repetitive and boring, and even if she loved it at first, after a while it would lose its effect. You'll get the best results by using a combination of different stimulation techniques.
You're starting off soft, so try tracing circles with the tip of your finger over her stomach and chest, gradually moving in to the breasts and nipples.
Experiment with licking, nibbling, sucking and stroking the neck, chest and nipple area. Assess her arousal either by watching if her nipples rise, darken and intensify or through the sex sounds she makes. You can also place your hands over hers and ask her to show you how she wants to be pleasured.
Keep in mind that the more turned on she becomes, the more sensation she would be able to endure. So start off slowly and gently by using the feathery touch of your fingertips to stroke the delicate skin of her breast. Slide your fingers down across her breast, making slow, lazy circles over it; slide your palms in circular motions around the entire breast area. Press firmly. You can either do one breast at a time or use both hands and do both together. Continue even after her nipples become erect. Cup as much of each breast in your hands as possible and move them around. Massage them. Squeeze them gently then more firmly. Massage the nipples with or without oil or the saliva of your tongue. Press on them. Roll them gently between your thumb and forefinger. Use firmer and firmer pressure. Use one hand to encircle her breast and push it up and out similar to a push-up bra.
Slide your hands over her breasts, cupping them with the palms of your hands. Knead them, cup them, and massage them gently, then more firmly, varying your speed and pressure. You should consider using a massage oil or lotion to make your hands slide over her skin more easily. Use oil or lotion to begin stimulating her nipples over and again. Run your fingers over them. Press them. Roll them between your thumb and index finger. Remember to keep her sensitivity in mind here and at all time. As much as you don't want to hurt her, you should try to give enough stimulation to make it really pleasurable. Pull on them with slow-fast, repetitive strokes. It is all about maximum masculine control and maximum feminine pleasure.
One of the beauties of this is that it helps many husbands with premature ejaculation to be able to practice Kegel exercise at the same time this is going on. Cup her breast with one hand and push it up. This has the effect of pushing her nipple out making it firm and temptingly inviting. Rotate it around in a circular motion with the pads of your fingers. At this stage, you can now move on to using your mouth. Use your tongue to lick her breast from the bottom all the way up and over her nipple. Give her open mouth wet kisses all over her breasts and nipples. Run your tongue softly over her nipples in a flat position. Then flex your tongue and flick the nipple with it. For some categories of wives who would love to be 'fingered', this is the right time to dip your finger into her vagina and roll the finger inside her in the same manner you are rolling your tongue around her nipple. This simple treat breaks the idea of frigidity or any form of resistance from your wife. As a matter of fact, it is at this stage she will cry out loud for more.
You can still proceed further by trying to give her gentle love nibbles and bites on her breasts. Make your way to her nipples and nibble on them gently. Try covering your teeth with your wet lips first to test her sensitivity. If she has extremely sensitive nipples or is in a sensitive phase in her cycle, you might need to skip nibbling and biting all together because this could be hurting her. If you're not sure, ask her if the pressure is okay.
Suction your mouth around her nipple and suck in and out. Run your tongue over the nipple while you suck. Kiss and lick each breast and nipple. Flick her nipples with your tongue. Gently bite then suckle her nipples then lick and blow on them. This stage is also helpful for pregnant women who are in their last stage of pregnancy as it help to soften their breast and make it succulent for the child during breast feeding because of the systemic erection and relaxation of the nipples.
Pull your lips and use them to make a seal around the nipple. Suck in and then out without breaking the seal. The nipple will feel alternating currents of vacuum and pressure. This is the stage many menopausal wives feel like a new bride one more time because it helps them to have deep sensations specially when the husband tries stimulating the breasts of his menopausal wife orally, when she is lying above you. What happens here is that her breasts will be more sensitive when they are hanging down because of the increased blood supply to the nipples. Some other categories of women find it highly arousing when their husbands caresses their nipples with the tip of an erect penis, while some women get aroused by having an erect penis sliding in-between their well-oiled breasts as they are being squeezed together.
Remember, although some wives can reach orgasm from breast play, not all women would be able to. But there is no harm in trying. However, don't put pressure on yourself or her to achieve this result. Just enjoy yourself! Breast play can also magnify a clitoral or G spot orgasm, so any of these techniques can also be used in combination with stimulating other parts of her body for a truly intense experience.
These are ways husbands can learn how to stimulate their wives' breasts to the state and stage of powerful breast orgasm. So what are you still waiting for? Get down together while I eagerly await your feedback!
Questions and Answers
The last time I mailed you, you took quality time to explain the positive effect of locating and putting to use my 'G'-spot on my marriage. Well, I did exactly what you advised me to do with my husband. Few nights after, while having sex, we hit it as he was thrusting extra slowly. It felt awesome, but then, it was like a switch in my body came on, and l realised he was hitting my 'G'-spot over and over with each stroke. When he noticed that l was in another world, he made it a habit henceforth, the last one that drew us closer was; I was lying on my back and my husband's pointed finger was inside me. He was moving his finger as if saying 'come here sweetheart'. I felt the tip rub against my vagina wall and an intense pressure built up. Then, he entered me from behind, his penis somehow pointed directly against my 'G'-spot, and the sensation was really intense. This is the only way I can have a 'G'-spot orgasm and it always makes me want more. Thanks a lot. Now, there are no excuses again from me. I do not only look forward to it, I am the one calling for sex, regardless of the stress and tension from work.
Can I really win this war of premature ejaculation?
I am 38 years old. I am married, but seriously battling with premature ejaculation. It looks so insurmountable I cannot sustain an erection after penetration for more than one minute. Most of the time, it lasts between 30 and 45 seconds. As of the time I am mailing you this letter, my wife has stopped complaining and at the same time, stopped trying to help. Even when I try to see if an erection can occur, her response is just killing. I feel less than a man. I know that I am not satisfying her in bed. Way before now, I use to have sex with her close to five times in a week and that is when she was not having her menstrual period. This thing started immediately when I started having sex. In the first month of our marriage, I was still able to last between three and four minutes after penetration. Ever since, I have not been able to repeat or surpass that achievement. I thought it would get better over time and I assumed it was because I was not sexually active before marriage. Unfortunately, there has not been any improvement. Is there hope for me? We have no children and I am afraid of my wife bringing in an illegitimate child as my mine, because as of now, she seems sexually satisfied and does not care if I ask for sex or not.
Mr. Adelokifu Alakuso
I think before you give up on the battle over premature ejaculation, get all the necessary medical assistance, examinations and test and seek for natural remedies and cure. Medicine is now improving on the cases of all and any type of erectile dysfunction challenges. Many cases that have been written off are getting fact base solutions. Kindly contact me for help. You will be shocked that your case will become a history.
Can I inhale cancer cells drugs?
My husband is undergoing chemotherapy treatment for prostate gland cancer. He is at the same time insisting I use my mouth on his penis but I feel it is not safe. What if I accidentally taste the cancer drug or cancer cell in his semen?
Mrs Irabuka Kudirati
Even though the drugs that are used during chemotherapy are not excreted in semen in quantities that could be dangerous, it is not safe to use your mouth on his penis while he is undergoing chemotherapy. Using a condom on his penis might bail you out if he is insisting.