The nanny was a better option than his wife!

Written by Bunmi Sofola

~Vanguard, Nigeria. Sunday, July 10, 2016

YOU must have.lost count of stories you've been regaled with about the shenanigans of some husbands and the family's nanny.

Only, it is a heartbreaking reality for some wives. What does it feel like to be betrayed by the man you married with a woman living under your own roof? And what kind of man behaves in such a despicable way? Here, in a startling and brave account Roger, a lawyer in his mid-forties shares his reason for not only going after the maid, but getting married to her …

"Muji is not your run-of-the-mill maid," he says. "I know people will assume that I've had some sort of mid-life crisis in my mid-forties. But my feelings for Muji are anything but frivolous – and I didn't do it lightly. My marriage to Rita, my wife of 18 years was breaking down, and falling in love with Muji just speeded things up. We got married in England and had three young children when Muji was sent to us as a possible help. She already had her OND and the plan was that she would make enough money within say three years to help her further her studies.

"I don't feel guilty about what happened because I didn't go out looking for love. And it certainly hasn't been easy. I've constantly worried about everything and the impact it will have – not just on the children, but also Fikayo my wife, and Muji. The person I was least worried about was me. Everyone tells my wife and me that they are amazed at how calmly we are dealing with the situation. She has been extraordinarily generous in her understanding and I know she could have reacted so I could be punished for what I'd done.

A heart touching story by Ugandan mother

My name is Harriet Namayengo, I’m 40 years old and I come from Lugazi, Uganda.

I’m a married lady but with no children.  I've written this letter to fans of this page to share with you my pain that I’ve always lived with. It’s pain of childlessness that was inflicted upon me by my heartless co-wife. It all happened 12 years ago. I had just completed my Nursing course and I was working in one of the missionary hospitals in Uganda.

While still at school, I fell in love with James, a medical officer in Eastern Uganda. James was such a nice man that he always visited me at school and showered me with so many presents. This honestly convinced me that he was single as he had told me. While in my last year at the Nursing school, I got pregnant and so James arranged for our wedding, I had already been assured a job at the hospital, he decided to put me in his house in Kampala.

The shock of my life however came shortly after I gave birth to my baby gal. It was then that James disclosed to me that he was so excited coz I had finally given him a baby gal since he had 5 sons. I was surprised and when I told him to repeat what he had said; he apologized and said it was a mistake. I could see it in his eyes that he was hiding something from me so I probed him further. This is when he told me that he was actually married and had a wife with 5 sons. I was disappointed but confused since I loved James so much.

It's amazing what a lover's money can do to a man's social status!

~Vanguard, Sunday, June 12, 2016

THE scene was set for seduction. The dining table almost creeked with artistically crafted food dishes all wafting appetizing aroma. The plates were patterned Wedgewood and the spoons pure stainless steel with gold tips. A bottle of wine sat in a bucket at a corner of the table, and Jola, the hostess, was a sight to behold. She had on a negligee without bothering with a house-coat, and her two breasts stood up defiantly.

Even in her mid-30s, her boobs belied the fact that she'd had two children. "My late husband never encouraged me to breast-feed," she explained, "he said my breasts were solely for him and since infants have alternatives, I should feed my kids on the best brand of baby milk. Money was no problem afterall … " In a corner of her tastefully furnished living-room sat Frank. He too was in his 30s; a single father. Jola became widowed a few years ago.

A part from the money her husband left for her, she is a woman of substance in her own right and of almost impeccable pedigree. Frank, on the other hand, is a personnel manager of a small textile firm. They both met at a mutual friend's party and Jola made a play for Frank - otherwise, he wouldn't have dared propositioning her. It was Jola who invited him to dinner – and now here he was. I was obviously a ~ spare tyre, but curious as hell!

Frank's eyes first darted to the exquisite bikini pants that were outlined, sexily by the negligee; then to Jola's erect breasts and his eyes grew rounder and rounder. The food items that were served were delicious but you could see Jola was eager to get rid of me, I took a few things to the kitchen and she came after me. She urged me to take home as much food in packs as I wanted and leave her alone with Frank. As 1 obliged, she slipped a bottle of chilled wine in the carrier bag and told me to enjoy it at home - I got the message. I was a bit baffled by all the seduction scene and her not seeing things through in my presence! Some few months later, I was invited to a birthday party at Jola's. That party was for Frank who has now moved in with her. I couldn't believe the transformation that came over Frank.

I enjoy sex with my husband’s brother

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard, Nigeria. Sunday, May 22, 2016.

Blood is thicker than water, right? This belief was put to the test when Judith met her husband's elder brother for the first time. She'd been married to Bernard for seven years when Kingsley returned to the country after years of studying and working abroad. "Kingsley is a couple of years older than Ben and it was obvious they were very close when he finally called at the house," explained Judith. "They spent time together watching football or going to the clubs – making up for lost time.

"The brothers, in spite of their closeness, were very different. Ben, my husband is the aggressive type whilst Kingsley was what you would call a real man – strong and able to handle himself with no aggression whatsoever – no hint of the bully his brother was. It was Ben who helped him clinch a deal on an empty flat in our neighbourhood and as soon as he moved in, he visited more . frequently. It was thanks to him that I started taking more interest in how I looked as he was always liberal with his compliments. He made an effort to look well too, splashing on exotic after-shaves and wearing sexy clothes. The admiring look in his eyes whenever I let him in made my efforts worthwhile. It was obvious that a sexual tension was simmering between us even though I tried to smother the feelings.


"One evening, I was relaxing at home when Kingsley called unexpectedly. "Ben is not here," I told him as I let him in. "He's at his office's send-off do for a member of staff." "I know," he replied quietly, "he told me when I called him." I felt this crazy excitement as I looked up at him. 'It's you I've come to see,' he continued, 'I need to know if you've realised what you're doing to me ...' I didn't know what to say. But he took me in his arms and all the pent-up emotions of the past month erupted. As we made furious love on the sofa, he confessed he was in love with me. I couldn't help telling him there was no future for us as Ben would kill us both if he found out. My kids would be heartbroken, devastated and confused if we were to end up with their uncle.

"Unfortunately, no amount of sensible thoughts could erase the love (lust more like) that had grown between us. In the months that follows, we contrived any excuse to be together. Ben couldn't care less that Kingsley and I went shopping together or picked up the takeaway for our weekend treats. And because I worked shifts, it was easy to slip round to Kingsley's flat, enjoy a couple of blissful hours in his flat.

"Ben was so complacent it would never have occurred to him that his brother and his wife were both betraying him in the worst possible way. The fact that I took more interest in my clothes and make-up didn't bother him.

Teenage children who bring out the worst in you!

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard, Nigeria. Sunday, May 22, 2016

Joyce is a childhood friend I see often. When I called on her a few months back she looked visibly flustered. I was at a loose end and and had gone to see her for our usual natter. "Am I glad to see you," she said, ushering me into a chair in the kitchen where she was making up different mouth-watering dishes. I certainly had called at a good time. I patted myself on the back, as I tucked in with relish. "Henrietta is back," she informed as we ate. I looked blank. "You haven't forgotten all about her have you? Mercy's second daughter!" The penny finally dropped.

Mercy is Joyce's first cousin. She's always been close to Mercy's mother, Louisa, who is her big aunty. A woman-of-the-world, Louisa is the proud mother of three children from three different fathers. Nothing unusual these days where couples exchange partners like goods from a super-market, the snag is that the first and last 'husbands' were rich while Henrietta's father couldn't be described as a silver-spoon kid.

Henrietta knew she wasn't the apple of her mother's eyes and she behaved accordingly. "Her nasty father is fetish and must have used juju on my daughter," Louisa had said any time she had the opportunity. "Why else would Mercy give in to a rough-neck like that" Look at Henrietta's two siblings. Mercy's first daughter, Tina, the daughter of a renowned structural engineer, is a proper lady and her father sent her to the best public school as soon as she finished secondary school here. She's a real lady, thanks to her dad's impeccable pedigree. Pity his snooty self-centred wife refused to even think of him taking on Mercy as a second wife … When Mercy met Henrietta's father, Joyce wasn't exactly shouting for joy. The only advantage is that he agreed to marry her and be a step-dad to Tina," Joyce had told me. "But Tina's dad told him he should forget it – Tina had a dad who was proud of her. Anyway, they got married.He was a divorcee with two children and lived in the seedy part of the city. Still, Mercy, who was then a top personnel manager in a huge firm agreed to come down to his level because of love. In no time at all, the beast showed his claws and by the time Henrietta was only six, it was obvious they hated each other. It was inevitable that the marriage crashed and Mercy relocated abroad, leaving Henrietta in her mum's care.

"Louisa couldn't hide her distaste for the poor girl. Any time she put a foot wrong, she shrieked at her. 'The horse behind always takes a running cue from the one in front', she used to say. 'If you are blind to see how fast the front horse is running, shouldn't you look at the horse behind you in case it catches up with you?' This rear horse is Mercy's third child, a longed for son she had for another colleague just before she left for England.

When a 'husband-snatcher'got her comeuppance

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard, Nigeria. Sunday, May 22, 2016

CHANCES of remarrying after a divorce might be slim; but some women are so lucky they even have third chances! A few weeks ago, Debbie, a once distraught wife, who has now got the hang of living with the intricacies of her husband's shenanigans came to the house looking radiant. "Would you come to a wedding party with me tomorrow?" she asked. Wedding?

As eagerly as families look forward to their offsprings getting married, the long-drawn ceremonies usually leave me climbing the walls. Engagement ceremonies I give a miss if I could get away with it. With the weddings proper, I usually ask the driver to be at the ready to get away anytime I get bored. Debbie knows of my aversion to weddings and assured me this one would be different.

"The couple had already got married abroad; they only came home for the wedding party," said Debbie. "Actually, the groom is Uncle Tony's wife's son." The plot thickens, I muttered. Debbie's Uncle Tony had been abroad for years and was married with four children, when his wife got tired of his philandering ways and kicked him out. By the time his divorce went through and the courts slapped a generous maintenance allowance on wife to be paid each month for the kids' upkeep, Uncle Tony came to Nigeria on holidays and never went back. He was determined his wife and kids wouldn't take him to the cleaners without a fight.

Instead, he used the nest-egg he'd brought back with him to complete a bungalow his ex-wife had no inkling he was building. His friends rallied round him by helping him set up a blockmaking business, and he was comfortable enough to take a new wife.The new wife, Bisi, was also married with five children before the husband exchanged her for a new model. They were both lucky to find each other, and Bisi relished her second-chance marriage.

Husbands who 'graze' nearer to home!

~Vanguard, Nigeria. Sunday, May 1, 2016

IT was a most harrowing day with the traffic and Rebecca thought she couldn't handle more stress as she made her way to one of the high-rise complexes she lived in with her family. It was night already but thank goodness there was electricity.

As she moved wearily towards the lift, she saw the typical 'out of order' sign and she nearly wept with frustration. She lived on the ninth floor! She took her time climbing the stairs until she got to the fourth floor. She met a group of housewives discussing in the corridor and all of a sudden, their eyes were on Rebecca. Some looked hostile but the majority had nothing but pity for her.

Then it all came back to her. A few days ago, on a night almost as bad as this one, she'd just made her way to the flat when there was an angry ring at the door. She yanked her door open ready to tell whoever the nuisance was off. when she saw a neighbour with whom she was fairly friendly.

"Mama Junior", she greeted but the woman snorted in reply and pushed past her to the living room where her husband was reading the evening papers. Her back was up. "I've come to report this animal to you", she shouted, her eyes flashed hatred and anger as she pointed to Rebecca's husband. "Wura (her. sixteen year-old daughter) was sent to your floor and your husband lured her into your flat.

He told her a lot of rubbish about being alone and helpless and asked her to help him clean around the house. Since we were all family friends, Wura agreed to do the dishes. She was at the sink when your husband crept behind her, cupping her breasts in his hands. My daughter said she protested and your husband struggled to rape her until she started screaming.

"When he eventually let her go, her clothes were rumpled. I was so enraged when she came crying to me that I dragged her down here, thinking your husband would try to deny it. He did try but Wura contradicted him and he shouted her down. He said, in my presence, that he knew all her friends were screwing around, so why was she pretending she'd never had sex before?


I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Can you imagine this pervert saying that to a child that I virtually gave birth to in his presence? How low can you sink? The other mothers have complained about him too. This contracting jobs he says he's doing, when does he have time for them? If this happens to Wura again, I'm not going to be as civilized as I am today, so please ask your husband to keep a tighter rein on his pants or there will be fire”.

The return of the 'Prodigal Husband!

From Femi Ajasa   Sunday, March 13, 2016

~Vanguard, Nigeria - By Candida

IT was a busy time at the office and I'd left specific instructions with my secretary not to be disturbed – except she thought it was absolutely necessary. So, when she peeked tentatively into my office and 1 scowled in disapproval, she quickly mouthed that Ini's husband was at the reception area.

Ini, my very good friend's husband? What the heck did he want? After frequent visits, to his home-town, the result of his clandestine visits had finally surfaced some few months ago. And who should let the cat out of the bag but some of his "respected" relatives who thought it was about time Ini knew her children had a half-brother. Without any warning of the impending bombshell, Ini was furious after the 'meeting'. But her in-laws pompously warned her to get a grip on herself – her husband wouldn't be the first man to stray from the straight and narrow. What was more, the son had a right to his father's home – the home that was more Ini's than her husband's.

For the next few weeks, Ini made life unbearable for Charles, her husband, that he virtually relocated to his town to savour the joys of new fatherhood. The last time I saw him, he was unrepentant. He said I should have a word with my friend to be realistic. That a child was involved here and if he didn't have any feelings for its mother, he wouldn't sleep with her. That he'd heard Ini refer to her mistress as a village illiterate. For my information, he went on with his lecture, the girl was not an illiterate but a successful trader and a princess. Over the years, I've learnt the wisdom of a still tongue, so I said nothing. Not even to my friend when I next saw her. Now he was in my office. To inform me he was finally leaving my friend to live with Cinderalla?

I found him sitting forlornly at the reception, looking like a stranger. He'd aged too. He sprang to his feet as soon as he saw me and I ushered him to my office. "I know I've no right to pounce on you without an appointment", he said "God knows I wasn't even expecting you to see me. But you've got to speak to Ini. Please you're one of the few people she'd listen to. Please beg her to take me back. I want to come home and I need this second chance badly.

"I know I'd been so stupid. Ini has always turned a blind eye on my affairs. Springing this child on her was a mistake. I was misled by those nossy village people. I'll never embarrass her like this again … "

Knowing when Enough is Enough

Written by Edith Ohaja

~Vanguard, Nigeria. February 29, 2016

Kukah's wife, Ojoma, has done it again! She just keeps pushing till he loses his patience and blows a fuse. She's always going on about his English - how a graduate should not speak the way he does, how a teacher should be a model to the students, blah, blah, blah. Kukah feels the attacks are unjustified. He admits his English is less than perfect, but he often reminds her, "I am a Chemistry teacher for crying out loud and I know a bunch of guys with higher degrees who speak more atrocious English than I do." He learned the term, "atrocious English", from her on one of the occasions she was berating him.

-

It's not like Kukah dozed through his English classes as a student. It's just that the teachers weren't much better than the pupils and it was felt on both sides that what matters most is to be understood. But he admired those who spoke well, which is why he went after his wife. He did ask her to teach him at some point but after she tried explaining about mood in grammar - indicative, subjunctive and so on - he gave up. The whole thing was too confusing.

-

"English is more technical and more illogical than any subject I know: the rules just keep changing, what applies in one case doesn't necessarily apply in all similar cases. Thank God, I scraped through the subject at O'Levels," he had declared then.

-

But his wife was not prepared to write him off as a lost cause. She was not bothered about the garble others spoke, but she was determined to refine her husband's usage of the English language. Which would have been fine and good, except she didn't know the time and place for it.

-

So this morning when her husband, the vice principal, was chatting with colleagues in the staffroom, she tut tutted his observation that Class 5 "beat" Class 6 every year in inter-house football. Ignoring the glare he gave her, she explained that class is a singular noun and thus should go with the singular verb, "beats" and followed that up with a lecture on how important concord is in English. However, Kukah cut her off midway, basically telling her that she and the English should take their unreasonable language with its erratic rules and shove it up you know where.

-

Kukah knew it was a bad idea to teach in the same school with his wife but jobs are hard to find, so he used his influence to secure a place for her. But he was wondering with their constant run-ins on English if that move was really worth the cost. When he got to his office, he began to rearrange the stuff on his table. That was his calm-down mechanism. If he was still boiling by the time he finished with the table, he would work on the entire room.

-

As he was packing books and papers, Mrs. Bulama, a fellow teacher, poked her head through the door. She held his gaze with a sympathetic and indulgent smile and initiated a rather strange conversation. First, she offered to help him reorganize his desk but he told her the desk was fine, that he was just ....

-

"I know how you feel. I am so sorry for that episode out there."

-

When you realise that long-distance relationship isn't going to work!

Written by Bunmi Sofola

~Vanguard, Nigeria: Tony Chinonso

When Joanne left the comfort of her parents' home to study pharmacy at the university, she wasn't in the least apprehensive. A bubbly girl just turning 20, she looked forward to making friends. Inside a few months, she'd not only made friends, she found Alfred, a boyfriend she fell madly in love with! "He lived off campus," explained Joanne,' and I moved in with him in my second year. The rest of my stay at Ibadan just flew by, and in no time at all, I had a degree under my belt ready to go back to Lagos for another stage of my life.

"Alfred, who was studying architecture carried on studying, and it was a massive shock to go from living together to hardly seeing each other. Nevertheless, we decided to give the now long-distance romance a go. We rang each other most days, but it wasn't the same. Travelling to see each other every other weekend was stressful. The car I had wasn't top-notch and the roads were a nightmare.

Apart from the highly unpredictable traffic, pot­holes often ruined my car and I had to rely a few times on public transport. We were often under pressure to make the little time we were together brilliant, but it was such an effort. I began to realise the relationship might not work long-term. I was never going to go back to Ibadan, and I couldn't expect Alfred to move to Lagos.

"In the end, I had to make the awful decision to say goodbye but I had no choice, I told him how I felt one weekend just after Christmas, after I'd spent hours on the Ibadan-Lagos expressway trying to get to his digs. It was very late when I eventually made it and I was really grumpy. He was very upset but I think he also realised it wasn't working. I drove away from his place the next morning in tears and felt really sick. I couldn't bear the thought of never speaking to him again.

"We did carry on talking for a while, but about a year later, I got a boyfriend I was serious with and felt I had to be honest with him. We've managed to stay friends and he will always be a part of my life. I was genuinely happy for him when he told me about his new girlfriend when he eventually found one and how happy he is now. He'll definitely be one of the first people I'll invite if I ever get married, and I hope I get an invite if he does too…"

Alfred was really sorry distance had to permanently separate him from his first love. "From the moment I met Joanne, I found her very easy to get along with," he said. "We got on so well, I thought it was the real thing and that our relationship would last forever. I always knew she would eventually move back to Lagos when her course finished and I supported her decision to go back. I didn't realise a long-distance relationship would be that hard.

4 amazing folktales told by the Igbos

Written by Ndem Nkem

~Vanguard, Nigeria: Ndem Nkem is travel/tech writer @Jovago. 

The eastern part of Nigeria largely occupied by the Ibo tribe, is rich in culture, customs and traditions and one of the tenets that has survived the rage of civilization and modernization is the art of storytelling. Interesting and educative folktales which have been passed down from generations to generations from the 'ancestors' are told to children in the bid to preserve the norms and culture of the tribe, imbibe good morals and instill the spirit of communal love amongst members of their society.

These Igbo folktales which paints colourful pictures of spiritual life and traditional aspirations are regarded as fictitious, incredible, mythical and totally removed from real life situations. However, with regards to their functionality, these folktales exhibit elements of truth that translate into realism.

Jovago.com, Africa's No.1 online hotel booking site offers 4 common traditional folktales you should seek to hear while visiting eastern Nigeria.

Obaledo

Usually accompanied with a song, this folktale tells of a young pretty girl who meets a great misfortune due to her defiance and decision to disobey her parents.

Set in a time when demons and spirits roamed around villages, the girl called "obaledo" was instructed by her parent before embarking on their trip, to remain within the confines of their home and eat just yam and snail when hungry. The parents asked that she roast the yam first before the snail, as the snail would eventually quench the fire. Unfortunately, the girl, being greedy and having a strong lust for meat, roasted the snail first and fire went off. Still hungry, she set out of her home, in disobedience to her parents, to get a matchstick from neighbors. On her way, she encounters a demon that steals her beauty and leaves her with his own ugliness.

The King's Drum

This story tells about a greedy tortoise who ends up trapping himself in his own greed. The tortoise, envious of a rich king who had a drum that would produce food and great wealth each time it was beaten, set a trap for the king's wife, and when she fell for it, he demanded the drum as his only compensation.

VANITY OF LIFE

From Ajala Kayode - Nigeria.

One Sunday morning, a wealthy man sat in his balcony enjoying the sunshine and his coffee when a little ant caught his eye; going from one side to the other side of the balcony, carrying a big leaf several times more than its size.

The man watched it for more than an hour. He saw that the ant faced many impediments during its journey, paused, took a diversion and then continued towards its destination.

At one point the tiny creature came across a crack in the floor. It paused for a little while, analyzed and then laid the huge leaf over the crack, walked over the leaf, picked the leaf on the other side then continued its journey.

The man was captivated by the cleverness of the ant, one of God’s tiniest creatures.

The incident left the man in awe and forced him to contemplate over the miracle of Creation. It showed the greatness of the Creator. Before his very eyes was this tiny creature of God, lacking in size yet equipped with a brain to analyze, contemplate, reason, explore, discover and overcome.

Along with all these capabilities, the man also noticed that this tiny creature shared some human shortcomings.

The man saw about an hour later that the creature had reached its destination – a tiny hole in the floor which was entrance to its underground dwelling.

At this point the ant’s shortcoming that it shared with man was revealed.

How could the ant carry the large leaf it carefully managed to its destination into the tiny hole? It simply couldn’t!

Would you allow your daughter marry the son of an ex who jilted you?

By Juliet Ebirim - Vanguard, Nigeria.

Anozie and Ifeoma were very much in love. It was love at first sight and they've been together for four years. Ifeoma went on a two-months vacation and when she returned, she got the shock of her life, – the love of her life had replaced her with another woman. She was devastated as she didn't see it coming. Somehow, she went past it and had a daughter for another man. She is a grown woman today and she recently brought her fiance to meet her mother. The introduction date was set and guess who walked in as the future father-in-law? If you were Ifeoma, would you allow your daughter marry Anozie's son? These are the responses of some of our celebrities:

As a mother, it will be a hard decision to make - Yvonne Enakena, Actress

First of all, I will try to talk her out of it, but if she insists, I'll give her my blessings. Before that, I'll carry out an investigation on him to know the kind of person he is, if he deserves and genuinely loves my daughter. Truth is, people lead different lives. One person's character shouldn't affect another person negatively even if they are blood relatives. As a mother, it will be a hard decision to make. I will put up a fight to stop them, but if she insists that they want to be together, I'll let them be.

How I was drugged, raped, fired from Air Force

Written by By Egufe Yafugorhi - Vanguard, Nigeria ( Tuesday, December 15, 2015).

Igbobi Beauty Uzezi, rape victim

• Detained in cell with lunatic, chained to hospital bed.
• Starved for days to make me not expose my Air officer-rapist.

WARRI-WHEN the chair, Committee for the Defence of Human Rights, CDHR, Delta State, Mr. Benefit Orugbo, called me on phone, about a fortnight ago, and said that he had a spine chilling case of human rights abuse in his hands, I did not understand the brutality of the matter and almost ignored the issue.

However, it was not until Warri Reporter, EGUFE YAFUGORHI, detailed to meet the victim at an agreed venue reported his encounter with Igbobi Beauty Uzezi, an Air Police of the Nigerian Air-force, NAF, with Personal Service Number, NAF10/25157F, that the reality dawned on me.

Uzezi, who hails from Bayelsa state, revealed that an Air-force officer (names withheld) drugged, raped and infected her with a Sexually Transmitted Diseases, STD, and the said officer detained and tortured her through proxies for daring to expose him and finally got her dismissed from the Airforce.

The air-force officers she complained to and sought help before the hammer fell on her, queried why she chose to make trouble with the officer, pointing out that she was not the only female personnel to pass through the ordeal.

They detained her in a cell with a mad woman, chained her to the bed in the hospital, locked for several days without food to force her to forgo justice. She refused to surrender and was court marshaled after she threatened to shoot one of the air-force officers used to intimidate her, who allegedly wanted to disarm her.

The Story Of Wife Whose Husband Cheated On

Written by By Anna Seaman - TheGuardian, Nigeria. 

WHILE I have been incredibly hurt by Doug’s repeated infidelities, the real twist of the knife has to be how naive I’d been for so many years. The bitter irony, of course, is that I am a relationship counselor, giving couples advice on how to avoid affairs.

Yet all the time, infidelity was going on right under my nose – and I never spotted it. When I met Doug in 1980 at a dinner with friends in Battersea, London, it wasn’t lust at first sight.
But he was a pleasant, chatty guy and just a year younger than me. I’d been married once before, to a man 14 years older, but we’d divorced after five years. When I started seeing Doug, I was really hopeful that we might have a future together. He seemed very sincere.

Two years later, in 1982, I was thrilled when we were married in South-West London.
Now, when I think that within six months he was cheating on me with an ex-girlfriend, I just want to scream. How could he have betrayed me so callously?

I guess I was taken in for so long because Doug never struck me as a Jack-the-Lad type. He is not a flirt and he doesn’t come out with cheesy chat-up lines. In short, he does not fit the description of men I have known to stray. It just goes to show that there is no type, and you never can tell.

To all appearances, Doug and I had an ideal partnership. He was a doting father figure to Nicky, now 31, my daughter from my previous marriage, and four years after we wed, I gave birth to Rob, then Mike a few years later.

Sex in the city: The shame of campus prostitution

Written by Laju Arenyeka, Anozie Egole, Iyabo Aina, Adeyeri Aderonke & Juliet Ebirim(Vanguard, Nigeria)

Prostitution—It is the oldest profession in the world; from   before Deliliah’s seductive ways with Samson in Bible times, to last   night in a dark corner at Ojuelegba bus stop in Lagos.

Women, selling their bodies for money; some pushed into this nefarious profession out of poverty, some, out of sheer greed and some others, simply for the love of sex. In this piece, Saturday Vanguard explores the lives students in our tertiary institutions who now appear more remarkable in their runs for men and money than their primary purpose of acquiring quality education.

‘Runs’ and ‘Aristoism’ in the ivory towers

This is not a sad tale from a Nollywood movie.

In 2010, 19 year old Elizabeth Ehis (not real name), had the world at her feet. She was writing her West African Secondary School Certificate Examinations, WASSCE, hoping to fulfill her life-long dream of becoming an accountant. However, life took a different turn when she lost her father to the cold hands of death before finishing her exams.

In spite of this, Elizabeth, the first of four children, forged ahead and gained admission into the University of Benin in 2012. Things were tough for her widowed mother. But sending Elizabeth to the university was top priority for her. Her mother would never have guessed that disastrous blend of harsh conditions, bad company and wrong choices would lead Elizabeth into prostitution. Her mother would not know that Elizabeth told our reporters her story from a brothel.

Her bad company came in the person of a friend she calls Stephanie. She said: “I met Stephanie during our Matriculation ceremony in the school, we were and still are in the same department.   But we did not really become close until we met at the party where we got talking and exchanged contacts. At first, I thought she was into lesbianism because of the way she was asking me about myself.

Later she told me that, I did not deserve the kind of poor life style I was living in school and that I needed to upgrade myself. She introduced me to some friends who would call me when there was a party to attend. At one of the parties we attended, they introduced me to some ‘big’ men.

Why I ‘raped’ my friend's teenage daughter - UNILAG lecturer & UNILAG, I was also a victim of sexual harassment

Story by Kunle Falayi - Punch, Nigeria

Dr. Akin Baruwa

For nine days, Shola (not real name) was in pain. The abdominal pain she endured felt as if a knife got stuck in her.

She was scared but she had no choice but to endure the pain since she couldn't imagine telling her parents the unimaginable trauma she had been subjected to that led to the pains she was going through.

"How could I face them? How could I tell them that the man they handed me over to, to help process my admission, had raped me?" Shola said.

But then, much as she tried, she couldn't continue hiding her ordeal, especially when the pains had become unbearable. Shola's parents eventually got to know what their daughter had passed through in the quest of trying to become an undergraduate.

Eighteen-year-old Shola is one of the numerous hopeful candidates, wishing to secure admission into the University of Lagos. But her score of 211 in the Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination fell short of the requirement for Mass Communication, which was her choice.

Her father, who resided in Abesan Estate in Ipaja area of Lagos, had done all he could to ensure that her daughter would become a university student this year but all his efforts seemed to be futile.

"Someone told me to send her UTME registration number. He checked on the university website and said she was not eligible. Not convinced, I went to the school myself to check and it was the same problem.

"I had to start making calls to other universities where she could secure admission and someone told me she they could be helped to gain admission into the Olabisi Onabanjo University with that score.

"As soon as the UTME result was released around May, I informed a friend of mine who lives within the estate, who is a lecturer at UNILAG. I took my daughter to him and he promised that when it was time for the post-UTME examination, he would help her out with the process."

The friend Shola's father mentioned is Dr. Akin Baruwa, a lecturer in the Department of Accounting, UNILAG, who is also a chairman of one of the community development committees of Abesan Estate.

Shola's father explained that when she realised that her result was not being accepted as eligible for Mass Communication, he went back to Baruwa on July 22, 2015 and the lecturer told him to bring his daughter the following morning so he could take her to campus and see how he could help.

Are today's women trying to out-do men in quest for sex?

~Vanguard, Nigeria.

ARE today's women trying to out-do the men in their quest for sex? When we accuse some men of being lechers, isn't their success to do with the connivance of their 'victims'? When I came across a recent story of the nightmare a young man.

Andy said he went through in the hands of her fiancee's mum and grandma, I was lost for words. According to him: "I had a wonderful fiancee and we were saving up to rent a flat together. I was very happy with my life. Then something happened to change that.

"It began when my fiancee asked me to help her decorate her mother's house. We both took the day off work and threw ourselves into the job. Halfway through, she got a phone call from the office, asking her to go in. I felt bad leaving her mum to decorate alone, so I offered to stay and finish it off. I worked hard all day. My fiancee's mum was delighted and suggested toasting her new-look home with a drink. She opened a bottle of wine. We both had a couple of glasses and I began to feel tipsy. What happened next took me by surprise. One minute we were admiring the room, the next we were kissing passionately. We stumbled upstairs to the bedroom and into bed...

"A little while later, I heard a creaking sound. I glanced up to see my fiancee's grandmother popping her head round the door. She looked shocked but put her finger to her lips, then disappeared. Her daughter didn't notice a thing. A few minutes went by, then the front door opened and shut loudly and we heard my fiancee's grandmother calling hello. Her daughter leapt out of bed, threw her clothes on and told me to come down in 10 minutes. I did as she asked and said I'd better be off. My fiancee's grandmother insisted on giving me a lift. I couldn't refuse.

King Adangba's many wives

A LONG, very long time ago, there lived a king called Adangba. He was very rich, very powerful and feared. He was a warrior who won all the wars he fought. He had many slaves and a big compound where his blacksmiths worked day and night to fashion out new weapons and repair old ones. He had many vassal towns that paid him taxes regularly. In spite of his wealth and power, Adangba was a kind and considerate man. He treated his people with fairness and was generous to his chiefs. Ordinarily, he should be a happy man but he was not for he had no son to inherit his throne.

Adamgba had a palace full of beautiful women, wives in dozens who gave him even more beautiful daughters. But was the use of beautiful daughters to a king who needed an heir? But he kept on trying because some bad people were saying some bad things about him. Some said he was not really a man otherwise he would have had a son. There were almost loud rumours that Adamgba had made a pact with the gods that he would not have sons as long as the gods gave him victory in every battle. Most of these stories got back to the king and kept him up at night. He would pace up and down his chambers for hours in pain and confusion. He offered sacrifices in all the shrines to all the gods but each time a queen fell into labour, she brought forth yet another girl.

Until one year, one evening, after the new yam festival, one of the neighbouring kings brought his daughter as a gift for the king. The king was reluctant for more than a reason. He had tried and tried and failed and failed. What was the guarantee that Ena, this new wife was going to give him a son, and not more daughters? He was already a minority in a palace full of females! And then this new wife not even beautiful. In fact, she was ugly.

The other wives sneered and sniggered. What was Ena going to do that they had not done? They even told her to her face that the best she would ever achieve was to produce the ugliest princess in the palace because since she was ugly, all her seeds would be ugly. But to the shock and dismay of all, including Ena herself, nine months after she paid King Adamgba her first night in the royal chambers, she gave birth to a set of twin boys, two beautiful boys.

It was a new day in the kingdom and royal household. The king was beside himself with joy. 

The Colours of Love (short story)

A story by 'Thoughts from Botswana by Lauri Kubuitsile' - Botswana.

He arrived with the spicy purple of the sunset, at the end of a long, hot, dusty day. They sat on the cool veranda and watched him walk up the side of the road into town.             

 “Where’s he from?”  Asked Mma Boago the owner of Mable’s Takeaway, a takeaway that had never known a woman by the name of Mable.

 “Don’t know. What’s that he’s carrying?” Johnny-Boy, Mma Boago’s perpetual customer and occasional bed-mate, asked, squinting his eyes to get a better look.             

 “Looks like a guitar. Dirty long dreadlocks and a guitar. He’s not bringing anything we need around here, that’s for damn sure.” Mma Boago turned and went back inside; she had magwinya in the deep fryer and couldn’t waste time keeping track of unwanted strangers.            

Warona was dragging her daughter, Kelapile, to the clinic when she spotted him. She wasn’t one to believe in love at first sight and fairy tales with happy endings, having witnessed Kelapile’s father’s profession of undying love just before he slipped into bed with the neighbour. It was more than being heart sore: Warona’s heart had been pulled out, knocked around for twelve rounds, then placed back into her chest to perform only the bare minimum required to keep her moving. Some days she wished it would give up on that, too. 

“Hurry! They’ll fire me if I’m not back in an hour.”  Kelapile’s legs could only go so fast, decided by their three-year-old length. Warona bent down and pulled the child up onto her back. When she looked up again, there he was.             

 “Do you know where I can find the guest house?”    

         

Practical Warona didn’t mention to anyone the way that her eyes went a bit funny the first time she saw him.  She didn’t mention the golden light that surrounded this odd stranger. It made her feel warm, and a barely held memory flooded over her, a remembered feeling, one that she had flung away deep into the folds and creases of the grey matter of her brain to be forgotten forever. It was joy; she felt a warm, orange joy.

“Are you okay?” he asked. His full lips and kind dark eyes twisted with concern.             

 “I’m fine, thanks. The guest house? Come with me, I’ll show you. It’s near the clinic where I’m going.”