Recent studies across the world by a group of Christian Social Women Group has revealed that patronage of gyms are becoming a high risk option to sustainability of marriages.
The health and physical benefits of gyms not withstanding, the gyms are proving to be fertile grounds for infidelity and promiscuity. Some of the observations made are revealing:
First, the gym instructors prey on vulnerable women. A lot of married women have adopted the gym as a panacea to reducing weight and looking cutely attractive. Presumably because their spouses could be more attracted to their new curvy bodies. This makes them vulnerable to predating gym instructors who take advantage and seduce them. Touching the women at their most weakest areas opened them up for abuses and lasciviousness. Women biologically respond to tickles and fondles depending on which part of the body you touch. Gym instructors cunningly and constantly touch these spots when they observed them to break the emotional stability of those women. These over a period opens up those women for abuse. It was observed that these are prevalent with more affluent women and also lonely spouses.
Socialisation – The study also revealed that most marriages have suffered because the men or women have taken the gyms as their main centres of socialisation. When couples don’t find any reliable source of socialisation, they see the gym and the patrons as their most reliable friends, partners and joy. Most couples who attend the gym together do not face this risk. Couples who attend gyms alone are very prone to these dangers. After a period of socialising with the same opposite sex for a time, bonding becomes almost unavoidable. The more they train, chat, drink and sometimes eat together after the physical exercises, they become used to each other and sometimes share their marriage challenges. Unsuspecting partners are taken advantage of through a show of sympathy and sometimes outright deception and ill advice.
Targeting – Some men and women have intentionally joined gyms and clubs purposely to prey on a targeted victim. Many men and women have ignorantly fallen to wicked and deceitful men and women who have targeted them over a period. The targets may not know that these men and women have intentioned to have them for long and unsuspectingly opened up to them as gym mates and friends.
Afrisonet: Universally African and Socially Responsible. We are on the path to the total discovery of the people in today's Africa. Repositioning, to have a way, a say and to make a difference! Be Part.
Showing posts with label Adult matters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adult matters. Show all posts
Big boobs bring joy and pain - Obianuju
Written by Ayo Onikoyi.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Monday, May 28, 2018.
It is difficult enough to miss a beautiful woman in a crowd. And when that beautiful woman is blessed with monstrous towering twin towers, it is simply impossible not to notice her in a crowd. Such is the case of the Instagram sensation known as Obianujueo, an Information and Communications Engineering graduate, who has no claim to stardom but by posting her mere innocent, non-provocative pictures which have earned her close to 100 thousand followers.
Unlike the boobs-toting slay queens who have made the Instagram their hunting ground to poach randy men, Obianuju doesn't flaunt her boobs. No cleavage-bearing dresses or revealing apparels or provocative poses. She's simple, innocent and decent. It is only Mother Nature that has made her a goldfish that has no hiding place, on account of her sprawling mammary.
Regardless of her timidity and shyness, the IT graduate speaks with Potpourri on the joy and pain of being blessed with big boobs.
" One big problem of having big boobs is the attention you get. People keep staring and that could be very embarrassing. The other one is the backaches and the difficulty of wearing or getting bras that fit your boobs," she said.
" Getting clothes that fit you properly without your blouse jumping out is another problem. Then, the weight of the boobs. You keep on having bra marks on your shoulders," she added.
On the bright side, Obianuju admitted that you only feel blessed when you have learnt to fully love yourself the way you are
"You feel different from every other woman, like you are unique. You feel blessed. As for your relationship with men, it is almost always negative. Most of them come to you mainly because of the breast, so, it is difficult to tell who truly likes you," she said.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Monday, May 28, 2018.
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| Obianuju |
Unlike the boobs-toting slay queens who have made the Instagram their hunting ground to poach randy men, Obianuju doesn't flaunt her boobs. No cleavage-bearing dresses or revealing apparels or provocative poses. She's simple, innocent and decent. It is only Mother Nature that has made her a goldfish that has no hiding place, on account of her sprawling mammary.
Regardless of her timidity and shyness, the IT graduate speaks with Potpourri on the joy and pain of being blessed with big boobs.
" One big problem of having big boobs is the attention you get. People keep staring and that could be very embarrassing. The other one is the backaches and the difficulty of wearing or getting bras that fit your boobs," she said.
" Getting clothes that fit you properly without your blouse jumping out is another problem. Then, the weight of the boobs. You keep on having bra marks on your shoulders," she added.
On the bright side, Obianuju admitted that you only feel blessed when you have learnt to fully love yourself the way you are
"You feel different from every other woman, like you are unique. You feel blessed. As for your relationship with men, it is almost always negative. Most of them come to you mainly because of the breast, so, it is difficult to tell who truly likes you," she said.
How women change men’s behaviour
Men live in self-denial when they play down the power of women. Sobbing women are known to have made men change hard-line positions or pacify their women.Now researchers have shown that the mere presence of a beautiful woman around men makes them do dumb things. For example, it has been observed that when a beautiful woman walks past a group of men in active conversation, they go dump with some losing their thoughts.
The following are the many scientifically proven ridiculous things men do around women, compiled from various sources.
A woman’s presence makes men go dumb: Men literally become dumb after they interact with women they find attractive. In a study, men scored less on cognitive tests after meeting women. In a version of the test, the men weren’t even looking at females. They were just told that females are going to be looking at them.The 2009 study demonstrated that after a short interaction with an attractive woman, men experienced a decline in mental performance. A more recent study suggests that this cognitive impairment takes hold even when men simply anticipate interacting with a woman who they know very little about. Sanne Nauts and her colleagues at Radboud University Nijmegen in the Netherlands ran two experiments using men and women university students as participants.
In this society, people frequently interact with each other over the phone or online, where the only way to infer somebody’s gender is through their name or voice. Nauts’ research suggests that even with very limited interactions, men may experience cognitive impairment when faced with the opposite sex. The researchers think that the reason may have something to do with men being more strongly attuned to potential mating opportunities. Generally, it all looks like whenever we face situations where we’re particularly concerned about the impression that we’re making, we may literally have difficulty thinking clearly. In the case of men, thinking about interacting with a woman is enough to make their brains go a bit fuzzy
Bizzare things some women do for love
~The SUN Nigeria. Sunday, April 29, 2018.
This is the most chilling message I have ever received via email. Someone sent it to me, highlighting how he abused, humiliated and tormented a lady who showed him nothing but love and loyalty.
The message reads: “I met her when she was 24 years old and she fell in love with me. She was gainfully employed. I am four years older than her and I also work.
She never turns down any of my requests, including anal sex even when she can’t stand the pain, neither does she argue with me. She would rather cry or be withdrawn. With that attitude, I saw her as a weak woman who has no mind of her own. Everything I said was right.
She has her own apartment and only visits me when I invite her. She does all my laundry and cleaning, including ironing my clothes on weekends. I am mostly nice when I want her to do my chores or have sex with her, after then, I treat her like garbage.
To her, I was her man, but to me, she was just one of those girls I keep around to help tidy my house and quench my sexual urge for free.
She never asks me for money in whatever guise, though I try to buy her gifts sometimes. Even when I give her money for grocery, I know she spends more of her money in the market and she makes all kinds of soups for me. She is such a fantastic cook and that was the reason I kept her around.
This is the most chilling message I have ever received via email. Someone sent it to me, highlighting how he abused, humiliated and tormented a lady who showed him nothing but love and loyalty.
The message reads: “I met her when she was 24 years old and she fell in love with me. She was gainfully employed. I am four years older than her and I also work.
She never turns down any of my requests, including anal sex even when she can’t stand the pain, neither does she argue with me. She would rather cry or be withdrawn. With that attitude, I saw her as a weak woman who has no mind of her own. Everything I said was right.
She has her own apartment and only visits me when I invite her. She does all my laundry and cleaning, including ironing my clothes on weekends. I am mostly nice when I want her to do my chores or have sex with her, after then, I treat her like garbage.
To her, I was her man, but to me, she was just one of those girls I keep around to help tidy my house and quench my sexual urge for free.
She never asks me for money in whatever guise, though I try to buy her gifts sometimes. Even when I give her money for grocery, I know she spends more of her money in the market and she makes all kinds of soups for me. She is such a fantastic cook and that was the reason I kept her around.
Our 'assets', a blessing and curse -Women with large boobs and bums
By Eric Dumo
Sunday, March 11, 2018
Adedoyin Ajayi is a young lady full of life. A small-scale business woman, her job allows her to
interact with persons from diverse backgrounds on a daily basis. Though she operates from the Ikosi area of Lagos, the 28-year-old constantly moves to different parts of the city to carry out transactions. But despite her frequent interactions with people, Ajayi likes to stay away from the limelight. Even though a very friendly person, certain elements have contributed to making her uncomfortable around strangers these days.
"I feel very uncomfortable with the stares I get from people, especially men whenever I am walking on the road," the young woman said, her face growing pale. "Once I emerge, people look at me as if they had seen a 'ghost'. Some, especially the men, even follow me about just to feed their eyes the more. It is a big problem for me," she added.
Endowed with large breasts and big buttocks, Ajayi's 'heavenly assets' are increasingly proving to be one of her biggest problems today. At only 28, what the Oyo State-born lady 'carries', can perhaps be imagined on most women two times her age, who after several child births would have added more flesh in these 'critical' regions. Besides the leg-crumbling stares she gets from people, the attention from men - old and young - has become a major source of concern for her.
"Sometimes I feel as if I had committed a big crime by having large buttocks and boobs," Ajayi cut in sharply during an encounter with our correspondent at a popular drinking joint around her neighbourhood earlier in the week. "There is nowhere I go to that people don't make me feel uncomfortable with their stares. As a matter of fact, I have had to cancel some movements simply because I want to save myself the emotional burden that comes with this problem. On several occasions, I have had to take a cab to certain places just to avoid being harassed by people, especially the men for my endowments.
"Apart from the kind of looks I get from people, the disturbance I get from men asking me out is enough for me to remain permanently indoors. A lot of times, when people like these can't get my contact, they go to look for me on Facebook to see if they search with my name maybe they can find me. But because I changed the spelling of my name on that platform, it is difficult for them to find me. I know this because some men who disturb me a lot confess to me that they went to find me on Facebook.
"Though I can handle the situation better now than I used to some years back, I still find it hard to cope with the different names men call me as a result of my big bum and breasts. Many of them promise me all sorts of things but because I know they are only lusting after my body, I don't give them a chance. This issue is a big problem for me," she said.
Sunday, March 11, 2018
 |
| Daramola Salako |
Adedoyin Ajayi is a young lady full of life. A small-scale business woman, her job allows her to
interact with persons from diverse backgrounds on a daily basis. Though she operates from the Ikosi area of Lagos, the 28-year-old constantly moves to different parts of the city to carry out transactions. But despite her frequent interactions with people, Ajayi likes to stay away from the limelight. Even though a very friendly person, certain elements have contributed to making her uncomfortable around strangers these days.
"I feel very uncomfortable with the stares I get from people, especially men whenever I am walking on the road," the young woman said, her face growing pale. "Once I emerge, people look at me as if they had seen a 'ghost'. Some, especially the men, even follow me about just to feed their eyes the more. It is a big problem for me," she added.
Endowed with large breasts and big buttocks, Ajayi's 'heavenly assets' are increasingly proving to be one of her biggest problems today. At only 28, what the Oyo State-born lady 'carries', can perhaps be imagined on most women two times her age, who after several child births would have added more flesh in these 'critical' regions. Besides the leg-crumbling stares she gets from people, the attention from men - old and young - has become a major source of concern for her.
"Sometimes I feel as if I had committed a big crime by having large buttocks and boobs," Ajayi cut in sharply during an encounter with our correspondent at a popular drinking joint around her neighbourhood earlier in the week. "There is nowhere I go to that people don't make me feel uncomfortable with their stares. As a matter of fact, I have had to cancel some movements simply because I want to save myself the emotional burden that comes with this problem. On several occasions, I have had to take a cab to certain places just to avoid being harassed by people, especially the men for my endowments.
"Apart from the kind of looks I get from people, the disturbance I get from men asking me out is enough for me to remain permanently indoors. A lot of times, when people like these can't get my contact, they go to look for me on Facebook to see if they search with my name maybe they can find me. But because I changed the spelling of my name on that platform, it is difficult for them to find me. I know this because some men who disturb me a lot confess to me that they went to find me on Facebook.
"Though I can handle the situation better now than I used to some years back, I still find it hard to cope with the different names men call me as a result of my big bum and breasts. Many of them promise me all sorts of things but because I know they are only lusting after my body, I don't give them a chance. This issue is a big problem for me," she said.
Women who get turned on by hairy men!
Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 11, 2018.
WOULD you compare your lover to a gorilla? I don't mean gorilla the brute – I mean gorilla of the male species! There are tonnes of things about a man that can turn a woman on. I've heard of some women who go weak at the knee when they clamp eyes on men in uniforms. For others, it's men's height or muscles or that inconsequential thing like the size of his wallet! As for Jane, not only does she like burly men, she likes them with a lot of hair on! She was in my office for a natter when Raymond sauntered in. He services the office computers from time to time and had just finished when he called in for a chat. Jane's eyes were on stalks when she saw him. So he was tall and all that, but he wasn't really Adonis! The minute I introduced them, she was on like a rocket – chatting a minute to the dozen as if she'd known him all her life. What was the matter with her? A fairly cool single mother of two, here she was carrying on like a teenager in heat!
Within minutes, they'd swapped phone numbers and Raymond left with a smirk! "What was all that about?" I asked Jane, a bit put out by her obvious play for Raymond. "Oh, aunty C, did you get a glimpse of his chest?" Chest? It was a man we were discussing here for goodness sake! "Yes, his chest," she continued excitedly, "his shirt was partially opened and what I saw of his chest was extremely hairy!" So? "I've always been a sucker for hair. I can't think of anything else that excites me more than a hunk who's covered in a thick layer of body hair. It all started when I was at the university and had sex for the first time. My boyfriend then was so hairy that I became transfixed at all that black hair covering his body – it made him look so masculine, powerful and virile!
"Since then, I've always regarded even the hunkiest men as un-sexy. they don't have hairy chests. Their smooth chests simply turn me off! I used to love cuddling up and resting my head on my ex's chest, feeling the wiry hair tickling my cheeks. Let's face it, when you think of it, even when you're madly in love, sex is a really primal, animal act – and being with such a gorilla of a man only made it feel more exciting and erotic. I was madly in love but it all ended two years later when he finished at the university. The long distance between us killed the love as he couldn't afford to travel to see me. I was heart broken for a while but quickly resumed my hunt for a replacement after my heart break eased. I found it a major turn-off if I discovered a guy only had a few measly stray hairs on his chest. It made him seem like a mere boy, not a grown man.
"Over the next few years, I had some wonderful encounters with hairy men until my lust for them had virtually transformed into a fetish. I was a bit worried in case I met Mr. right and he had no hair. Would it work? Would I really find him sexy? But I was in luck and my ex met all my wild expectations. Pity it didn't work out but we were married for close to ten years and I have two lovely kids to show for it. We still remain friends and for a while after the divorce, I still bonked him because of his hair appeal.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 11, 2018.
WOULD you compare your lover to a gorilla? I don't mean gorilla the brute – I mean gorilla of the male species! There are tonnes of things about a man that can turn a woman on. I've heard of some women who go weak at the knee when they clamp eyes on men in uniforms. For others, it's men's height or muscles or that inconsequential thing like the size of his wallet! As for Jane, not only does she like burly men, she likes them with a lot of hair on! She was in my office for a natter when Raymond sauntered in. He services the office computers from time to time and had just finished when he called in for a chat. Jane's eyes were on stalks when she saw him. So he was tall and all that, but he wasn't really Adonis! The minute I introduced them, she was on like a rocket – chatting a minute to the dozen as if she'd known him all her life. What was the matter with her? A fairly cool single mother of two, here she was carrying on like a teenager in heat!
Within minutes, they'd swapped phone numbers and Raymond left with a smirk! "What was all that about?" I asked Jane, a bit put out by her obvious play for Raymond. "Oh, aunty C, did you get a glimpse of his chest?" Chest? It was a man we were discussing here for goodness sake! "Yes, his chest," she continued excitedly, "his shirt was partially opened and what I saw of his chest was extremely hairy!" So? "I've always been a sucker for hair. I can't think of anything else that excites me more than a hunk who's covered in a thick layer of body hair. It all started when I was at the university and had sex for the first time. My boyfriend then was so hairy that I became transfixed at all that black hair covering his body – it made him look so masculine, powerful and virile!
"Since then, I've always regarded even the hunkiest men as un-sexy. they don't have hairy chests. Their smooth chests simply turn me off! I used to love cuddling up and resting my head on my ex's chest, feeling the wiry hair tickling my cheeks. Let's face it, when you think of it, even when you're madly in love, sex is a really primal, animal act – and being with such a gorilla of a man only made it feel more exciting and erotic. I was madly in love but it all ended two years later when he finished at the university. The long distance between us killed the love as he couldn't afford to travel to see me. I was heart broken for a while but quickly resumed my hunt for a replacement after my heart break eased. I found it a major turn-off if I discovered a guy only had a few measly stray hairs on his chest. It made him seem like a mere boy, not a grown man.
"Over the next few years, I had some wonderful encounters with hairy men until my lust for them had virtually transformed into a fetish. I was a bit worried in case I met Mr. right and he had no hair. Would it work? Would I really find him sexy? But I was in luck and my ex met all my wild expectations. Pity it didn't work out but we were married for close to ten years and I have two lovely kids to show for it. We still remain friends and for a while after the divorce, I still bonked him because of his hair appeal.
22 notable changes that can affect your sex life
By Funmi Akingbade
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, February 11, 2018.
As the saying goes, the only thing that does not change is God and perhaps change itself; every other thing changes. If something has a beginning, the end is just around the corner. As beautiful as sex is and as important in a marital relationship as it is, there are many notable changes that happen with sex in the marriage union. So today, we are going to examine 22 different changes couples should watch out for while the going is good.
One, it is very obvious that due to lack of adequate information and understanding, many couples find it difficult to comprehend these changes in their sex life. They usually think that something is wrong with them or their spouse. But experts have made it clear that couples' sex taste bud changes from age to age. The changes are also affected by their temperaments, mind-set, psychosocial exposures, diseases and available medical treatment and the earlier a spouse is aware of this, the better it is for the married partner.
Two, this awareness is particularly useful for couples who have obvious age gap, racial differences and blood group compatibility issues around them. The understanding of this will assist each spouse to sexually please his or her spouse, while he or she is having the best of sexual fulfillment and, of course, it helps reduce cases of infidelity to the minimum.
Three, couples' sex drives, libido and taste change with age. For instance, couples within the ages of 20 and 30 years share sexual similarities in taste, preference, flavour, libido and craving while couples within the ages of 32 and 39 have the same sexual favourite, passion, desire and yearning than those within the ages of 45 and above.
Four, experts say the ages between 20 and 30 is the stage where couples have lots and lots of great sexual chemistry at their disposal. It is the stage where both partners fall madly in love and constantly produce high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine. These chemicals not only make young couples feel extremely excited, they drive up testosterone- the hormone that fuels the sex drive of men as well as women-to the highest height. Besides, time is on the side of this category of couples. For young couples who have no children, mornings and evenings are blissfully theirs for romantic romps. What's more, they are at the beginning of their sexual life and they have a long way to go.
Five, this is the stage where more than often you hear the man complain of premature ejaculation or anxiety of performance, because with all the sexual tension between the couple, the man sometimes gets so excited that he ejaculates too quickly. Or since both partners are so young, the man may not yet know how to climax every time. Besides, because either of the spouses is eager to get to the peak of the game, one or both partners are put under undue pressure and unconsciously develop anxiety of performance. Anxiety of performance happens in both men and women, but it is more pronounced in men.
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, February 11, 2018.
 |
| Funmi Akingbade |
One, it is very obvious that due to lack of adequate information and understanding, many couples find it difficult to comprehend these changes in their sex life. They usually think that something is wrong with them or their spouse. But experts have made it clear that couples' sex taste bud changes from age to age. The changes are also affected by their temperaments, mind-set, psychosocial exposures, diseases and available medical treatment and the earlier a spouse is aware of this, the better it is for the married partner.
Two, this awareness is particularly useful for couples who have obvious age gap, racial differences and blood group compatibility issues around them. The understanding of this will assist each spouse to sexually please his or her spouse, while he or she is having the best of sexual fulfillment and, of course, it helps reduce cases of infidelity to the minimum.
Three, couples' sex drives, libido and taste change with age. For instance, couples within the ages of 20 and 30 years share sexual similarities in taste, preference, flavour, libido and craving while couples within the ages of 32 and 39 have the same sexual favourite, passion, desire and yearning than those within the ages of 45 and above.
Four, experts say the ages between 20 and 30 is the stage where couples have lots and lots of great sexual chemistry at their disposal. It is the stage where both partners fall madly in love and constantly produce high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine. These chemicals not only make young couples feel extremely excited, they drive up testosterone- the hormone that fuels the sex drive of men as well as women-to the highest height. Besides, time is on the side of this category of couples. For young couples who have no children, mornings and evenings are blissfully theirs for romantic romps. What's more, they are at the beginning of their sexual life and they have a long way to go.
Five, this is the stage where more than often you hear the man complain of premature ejaculation or anxiety of performance, because with all the sexual tension between the couple, the man sometimes gets so excited that he ejaculates too quickly. Or since both partners are so young, the man may not yet know how to climax every time. Besides, because either of the spouses is eager to get to the peak of the game, one or both partners are put under undue pressure and unconsciously develop anxiety of performance. Anxiety of performance happens in both men and women, but it is more pronounced in men.
Deep inside the red-light district: happenings in Lagos strip clubs
Written by Ademola Olonilua
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, February 11, 2018.
Catching fun, especially at night, has become a habit for many fun seekers in Lagos. For such people, the prominent places where they choose to catch their fun at night include bars and strip clubs. The go-to place for those who love to turn their X-rated fantasies into realities is usually the strip club. But strip clubs are not easy places to spot in Lagos, except if the fun seeker knows how to look beyond the surface. So, it could be difficult to locate one as there are no eligible signs to advertise their locations, so it is normally a case of, 'if you know, you know.'
Although there are choice strip clubs, both on the Island and the mainland; for the mainland, the clubs' colonies seem to be Allen Avenue and the Government Reservation Area, Ikeja. To spot one, fun seekers only look out for a neon sign or an electronic advertising sign with flickering lights, usually coloured blue and red with what appears to be the drawing of a naked woman.
Funnily enough, Ikeja is the commercial hub of Lagos during the day and also at night. With banks and other business firms situated in the district, human and vehicular traffic in the area during the day is usually heavy and at night, it still comes alive courtesy of the bright lights which seem to focus on the pubs, clubs and even commercial sex workers that conduct their business on the streets.
To a large extent, Ikeja is the red-light district of Lagos State.
Around one of the popular streets in GRA, Ikeja is a popular strip club. While most businesses have locked their doors and closed for the day by 9 pm, that is the time this establishment is resuming for the business of the night, and it takes it right until the following morning.
When Saturday PUNCH visited the establishment at about 9:30 pm on Wednesday, it was obvious that the 'shop' had just opened. Within minutes, the vast compound, which has a large space as its car park, was quickly filled with exotic cars; a testament to the class of people the joint caters for.
It is therefore not surprising that to get into the club as a man on Saturdays; their peak period, a fee of N5,000 is required and on Sundays, the price drops to N3,000. While the ladies pay N3,000 on Saturday and N2,000 on Sundays. Other days are free but the hefty men at the gate never forget to politely ask: 'Sir, anything for your boy even if na one bottle of beer?' Invariably, visitors are sometimes forced to part with money and since it is a high-end club, the bouncers at the door normally smile home.
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, February 11, 2018.
Although there are choice strip clubs, both on the Island and the mainland; for the mainland, the clubs' colonies seem to be Allen Avenue and the Government Reservation Area, Ikeja. To spot one, fun seekers only look out for a neon sign or an electronic advertising sign with flickering lights, usually coloured blue and red with what appears to be the drawing of a naked woman.
Funnily enough, Ikeja is the commercial hub of Lagos during the day and also at night. With banks and other business firms situated in the district, human and vehicular traffic in the area during the day is usually heavy and at night, it still comes alive courtesy of the bright lights which seem to focus on the pubs, clubs and even commercial sex workers that conduct their business on the streets.
To a large extent, Ikeja is the red-light district of Lagos State.
Around one of the popular streets in GRA, Ikeja is a popular strip club. While most businesses have locked their doors and closed for the day by 9 pm, that is the time this establishment is resuming for the business of the night, and it takes it right until the following morning.
When Saturday PUNCH visited the establishment at about 9:30 pm on Wednesday, it was obvious that the 'shop' had just opened. Within minutes, the vast compound, which has a large space as its car park, was quickly filled with exotic cars; a testament to the class of people the joint caters for.
It is therefore not surprising that to get into the club as a man on Saturdays; their peak period, a fee of N5,000 is required and on Sundays, the price drops to N3,000. While the ladies pay N3,000 on Saturday and N2,000 on Sundays. Other days are free but the hefty men at the gate never forget to politely ask: 'Sir, anything for your boy even if na one bottle of beer?' Invariably, visitors are sometimes forced to part with money and since it is a high-end club, the bouncers at the door normally smile home.
She came to the rescue of a sister who was off sex!
Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 28, 2018.
FAMILY comes in handy when you have problems you think are insurmountable. During the last general strike, a few of the staff made it to the office – out of boredom, I'm sure. What's more, their houses are a few `minutes' walk to the office. There was nothing to do really, so we just sat down and nattered, discussing everything under the sun with particular emphasis on relationships. "How many marriages do you think can survive without sex?" asked Augusta, one of the participants on a sandwich course from her banking job. "Dunno," I told her. "Quite a few do, but for short periods only. You can not really be happy in a sexless marriage can you, what would be the point?"
The following day, I was really surprised to see her. None of the others showed up and it would have been a good opportunity for me to catch up on the backlog of files I had to go through. Seeing I wasmore interested in encouraging her to leave than settle to another gossip session, she told me she urgently needed my advise. "It's my brother-in-law" she said when I arched my brow. "My sister is six years older than me and although we were very close when we were young, I was a bit jealous of her as she got to do everything way before I did – like going to discos, having boyfriend' and wearing grown-up clothes. By the time I was old enough to do all those things, Leila, my sister, was already married to John, her childhood sweetheart. With time they had two boys. I was at her place on a Saturday when she opened up to me. As she talked, she kept her eyes fixed on my face .. Was she expecting a reaction? She then told me:
"Would you believe I no longer find sex interesting?" My sister confided in me as we shared a bottle of wine. `I love John, of course, but I hate it when he touches me.' I didn't know what to say. I was a bit embarrassed. I mumbled something about a low sex drive being common for a while after having a baby. But her youngest was four and I urged her to give it time. That the desire would come back. But it didn't. It was then I realised they had a serious problem. Wasn't John frustrated?
"Leila shrugged. 'He must be," she admitted. 'I wouldn't really blame him if he started having an affair.' 'He'd never do that!' I replied, horrified. John was handsome, trustworthy and easy-going. Most of all, he really loved my sister. As time passed and they stayed together, I assumed they'd sorted out their differences. Until one night at one of our friend's 30th birthday party. Leila had come alone leaving the children with John and their new maid. We had a bit to drink and I began moaning about being permanently single and how 1 missed not having regular sex.
"That doesn't' bother me at all,' Leila shrugged. 'You and I are different that way – you love sex, I don't.' What?' I gasped, my mouth dropping open, 'you mean you're still celibate?' 'I haven't had sex for three years,' she told me, 'and I don't miss it.' I couldn't
get my head round it. This was no phase. Leila had obviously settled for a sexless marriage. I wondered how John could cope with that. Men need sex. Had he gone elsewhere?
"Yet every time I visited their cosy flat, Leila and John seemed so happy and relaxed together, so in love. Then one day, a few months on, 1 called round to see my sister and John answered the door. He was wearing just a towel round his waist as he was in a hurry to get the door. 'Is Leila in?' I stuttered, looking at his rippling muscles.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 28, 2018.
FAMILY comes in handy when you have problems you think are insurmountable. During the last general strike, a few of the staff made it to the office – out of boredom, I'm sure. What's more, their houses are a few `minutes' walk to the office. There was nothing to do really, so we just sat down and nattered, discussing everything under the sun with particular emphasis on relationships. "How many marriages do you think can survive without sex?" asked Augusta, one of the participants on a sandwich course from her banking job. "Dunno," I told her. "Quite a few do, but for short periods only. You can not really be happy in a sexless marriage can you, what would be the point?"
The following day, I was really surprised to see her. None of the others showed up and it would have been a good opportunity for me to catch up on the backlog of files I had to go through. Seeing I wasmore interested in encouraging her to leave than settle to another gossip session, she told me she urgently needed my advise. "It's my brother-in-law" she said when I arched my brow. "My sister is six years older than me and although we were very close when we were young, I was a bit jealous of her as she got to do everything way before I did – like going to discos, having boyfriend' and wearing grown-up clothes. By the time I was old enough to do all those things, Leila, my sister, was already married to John, her childhood sweetheart. With time they had two boys. I was at her place on a Saturday when she opened up to me. As she talked, she kept her eyes fixed on my face .. Was she expecting a reaction? She then told me:
"Would you believe I no longer find sex interesting?" My sister confided in me as we shared a bottle of wine. `I love John, of course, but I hate it when he touches me.' I didn't know what to say. I was a bit embarrassed. I mumbled something about a low sex drive being common for a while after having a baby. But her youngest was four and I urged her to give it time. That the desire would come back. But it didn't. It was then I realised they had a serious problem. Wasn't John frustrated?
"Leila shrugged. 'He must be," she admitted. 'I wouldn't really blame him if he started having an affair.' 'He'd never do that!' I replied, horrified. John was handsome, trustworthy and easy-going. Most of all, he really loved my sister. As time passed and they stayed together, I assumed they'd sorted out their differences. Until one night at one of our friend's 30th birthday party. Leila had come alone leaving the children with John and their new maid. We had a bit to drink and I began moaning about being permanently single and how 1 missed not having regular sex.
"That doesn't' bother me at all,' Leila shrugged. 'You and I are different that way – you love sex, I don't.' What?' I gasped, my mouth dropping open, 'you mean you're still celibate?' 'I haven't had sex for three years,' she told me, 'and I don't miss it.' I couldn't
get my head round it. This was no phase. Leila had obviously settled for a sexless marriage. I wondered how John could cope with that. Men need sex. Had he gone elsewhere?
"Yet every time I visited their cosy flat, Leila and John seemed so happy and relaxed together, so in love. Then one day, a few months on, 1 called round to see my sister and John answered the door. He was wearing just a towel round his waist as he was in a hurry to get the door. 'Is Leila in?' I stuttered, looking at his rippling muscles.
Why one-night-stands aren't such a big deal these days
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, December 17, 2017.
JIBE waited in her flat with bated breath. She hadn't done a reckless thing like this in her life before. A divorced mother of a nine-year old daughter, she'd run into Tony at a party and they'd got on like a house on fire. Their teasing got to a dare – would Jibe have- a no-strings-attached sex with him that night?
Tony was married of course, so his house was out of bounds. Jibe hadn't had sex for a while and was gaging for it. Her daughter was spending the night at her sister's. Could she let this opportunity slip from her fingers? So she said yes to Tony's proposition.
In spite of the excitement of having sex again, she was scared? She said: "When I heard the bell, I felt a bit panicky. This was suddenly a crazy idea. What if he had dubious intentions? But when I opened the door and saw the lecherous smile on his face, my anxiety was replaced by over-powering lust. Tony pulled me into his arms and started kissing me passionately. My legs actually buckled, but he pressed my body hard against his and I was lost. We started taking each other's clothes off and for a while I felt exposed – and sexy! He gently lowered me onto the sofa, and without saying a word, started making love to me. I'd never experienced anything like it before – so urgent, so uninhibited.
"Almost an hour after, I was exhausted. Tony told me it was one of the best sex he'd had and I felt flattered. It made me feel so desirable and powerful. As he made to leave, he asked for my mobile number but I told him I didn't want to take it any further. He looked really disappointed, but we'd both told ourselves at the party it was to be a one-night stand … "
JIBE waited in her flat with bated breath. She hadn't done a reckless thing like this in her life before. A divorced mother of a nine-year old daughter, she'd run into Tony at a party and they'd got on like a house on fire. Their teasing got to a dare – would Jibe have- a no-strings-attached sex with him that night?
Tony was married of course, so his house was out of bounds. Jibe hadn't had sex for a while and was gaging for it. Her daughter was spending the night at her sister's. Could she let this opportunity slip from her fingers? So she said yes to Tony's proposition.
In spite of the excitement of having sex again, she was scared? She said: "When I heard the bell, I felt a bit panicky. This was suddenly a crazy idea. What if he had dubious intentions? But when I opened the door and saw the lecherous smile on his face, my anxiety was replaced by over-powering lust. Tony pulled me into his arms and started kissing me passionately. My legs actually buckled, but he pressed my body hard against his and I was lost. We started taking each other's clothes off and for a while I felt exposed – and sexy! He gently lowered me onto the sofa, and without saying a word, started making love to me. I'd never experienced anything like it before – so urgent, so uninhibited.
"Almost an hour after, I was exhausted. Tony told me it was one of the best sex he'd had and I felt flattered. It made me feel so desirable and powerful. As he made to leave, he asked for my mobile number but I told him I didn't want to take it any further. He looked really disappointed, but we'd both told ourselves at the party it was to be a one-night stand … "
Why some women find it difficult to conceive
Written by Dr Oladapo Ashiru
~Punch Nigeria. Wednesday, November 15, 2017.
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| Dr Oladapo Ashiru |
Recently, a consortium of fertility experts from various international organisations both in Europe and Africa met under the auspices of the World Health Organisation and came up with a new definition of "Infertility" which was published in the Fertility and Sterility Journal, September, 2017.
In the new definition, infertility is the failure to establish a clinical pregnancy after 12 months of regular, unprotected sexual intercourse due to impairment of a person's capacity to reproduce either as an individual or with his/ her partner.
Furthermore, they opine that fertility interventions may be less than one- year based on medical, sexual and reproductive history, age, physical findings and diagnostic test.
The most common cause of infertility in female is the inability to produce eggs that are normal. Disorders of egg production accounts for more than 30 per cent of infertility in women. Fortunately, 70 per cent of these cases can be successfully treated with the use of drugs that support ovulation.
Drugs like clomid, gonadotropins; menogon, follitrope, folligraft, gonal F and several other FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) help to stimulate the growth of follicles. Anovulation (inability to ovulate) can be due to four major factors:
Hormonal factors:
These are the most common causes of anovulation. The ovulatory mechanism is controlled by the complex balance of hormones and I liken it to an orchestra in the symphony, any disruption in this process can hinder ovulation. Three main factors causing this are:
Failure to produce mature eggs
In about 50 per cent cases of anovulation, the ovaries do not produce normal follicles in which the eggs can mature. Ovulation is rare if the eggs are immature and the chance of fertilisation becomes almost non-existent. Even when a substantial amount of ovulatory support hormones like FSH are given, and we obtain like 12 eggs, seven of the eggs would be fully matured while five eggs are immature and cannot be fertilised even using "brute force" with Intra cytoplasmic sperm injection.
Problems you shouldn't have in new relationships?
~The SUN Nigeria. Sunday, November 5, 2017.
The beginning of a relationship is supposed to be easy. You both have these hormones surging through you that make everything feel so light, easy, radiant, and exciting.
You are walking on cloud nine. Life somehow feels better than usual and you are always smiling. You brush off little things that would normally bother you in the beginning of a relationship.
You really shouldn't be fighting much in a new relationship. If you are, then you are just in the wrong relationship. If you are fighting in the beginning of a relationship, you should be concerned. How are you going to be when the high of the new relationship wears off?
You shouldn't be having the problems mentioned below in your new relationship.
Making time for each other
If a new relationship is healthy and on the right track, you make time for each other, even if there isn't any. You lose a couple of hours of sleep if those hours are the only time you can be together. Being together a lot, in the beginning, is how you build the foundation of your relationship.
Calling/texting
You can't build a relationship with somebody who takes days to respond to a text, doesn't answer calls, and just generally doesn't communicate with you. If you are bickering in a new relationship about phone etiquette, the thing you have may not stand a chance.
Scheduling
Cancelling at the last minute, failing to schedule things in advance, double booking-things like this should not happen in the beginning of a relationship. If somebody cannot just work you into their calendar or give you a simple yes or no answer about dinner now, then he or she will be a ghost of a partner down the line.
How to have fun when all the kids have left home – Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, November 5, 2017.
Do you feel lost and lonely now that your children have flown the nest? Are you strangely missing the piles of dirty washing and the blaring of music or are you too busy turning a grotty bedroom into a cozy study, where you can relax in the afternoon with refreshments and a magazine? Or, are you thinking of letting part of the house for some easy cash?
New research has revealed that in order to cope with empty-nest syndrome, many parents are giving their homes a make over soon after their youngsters move out. Almost 30 per cent start renovating within two months of their children leaving, according to a survey carried out by Zurich Insurance, a third redecorate their child's old room, while the same number go further and transform it into a study or holiday room. Some even revamp the whole house.
So what makes people quick to reach for their paintbrushes once their kids go off to university or set up home with friends or a partner? More than half of those who took part in the survey said they wanted to reflect the change in family life. Experts agree that after years of children drawing on the walls and leaving dirty plates under beds, many parents are happy to have the chance to make their homes their own again.
"Children may well bully their parents into letting them redecorate their own rooms and even other parts of the house," says Philliop Hodson, a counselling psychotherapist. Some parents lose part of their identities. They have to wait a long time to get their house back. Then they can make it smarter. Renovating can help parents rediscover their identities.
Once a child's bedroom is yours again, it's natural to want to mark your territory. There's an itch to get in there and sort it all out. It's like moving into a new house. Even if it's been beautifully decorated, you still want to change things to make it yours. However, in some cases, there may be another reason why parents get the urge to decorate. You may be trying to fill time because you're missing the children. But what if your son or daughter wants to move back in? Will they be happy to sleep in the couch because their room is now for worship?
"Children are likely to feel disappointed when the house is not their childhood home any more." Says Hodson: "They might feel a bit hurt and pushed out and think that you couldn't wait to be rid of them. Does that mean you should restrain yourself from covering the black walls in your son's bedroom with brighter paint? Not really. As parents, you have to get on with your own lives, so you shouldn't be sentimental. When your child moves out, explain that there will always be a room for them-but it will be the guest room."
Do you feel lost and lonely now that your children have flown the nest? Are you strangely missing the piles of dirty washing and the blaring of music or are you too busy turning a grotty bedroom into a cozy study, where you can relax in the afternoon with refreshments and a magazine? Or, are you thinking of letting part of the house for some easy cash?
New research has revealed that in order to cope with empty-nest syndrome, many parents are giving their homes a make over soon after their youngsters move out. Almost 30 per cent start renovating within two months of their children leaving, according to a survey carried out by Zurich Insurance, a third redecorate their child's old room, while the same number go further and transform it into a study or holiday room. Some even revamp the whole house.
So what makes people quick to reach for their paintbrushes once their kids go off to university or set up home with friends or a partner? More than half of those who took part in the survey said they wanted to reflect the change in family life. Experts agree that after years of children drawing on the walls and leaving dirty plates under beds, many parents are happy to have the chance to make their homes their own again.
"Children may well bully their parents into letting them redecorate their own rooms and even other parts of the house," says Philliop Hodson, a counselling psychotherapist. Some parents lose part of their identities. They have to wait a long time to get their house back. Then they can make it smarter. Renovating can help parents rediscover their identities.
Once a child's bedroom is yours again, it's natural to want to mark your territory. There's an itch to get in there and sort it all out. It's like moving into a new house. Even if it's been beautifully decorated, you still want to change things to make it yours. However, in some cases, there may be another reason why parents get the urge to decorate. You may be trying to fill time because you're missing the children. But what if your son or daughter wants to move back in? Will they be happy to sleep in the couch because their room is now for worship?
"Children are likely to feel disappointed when the house is not their childhood home any more." Says Hodson: "They might feel a bit hurt and pushed out and think that you couldn't wait to be rid of them. Does that mean you should restrain yourself from covering the black walls in your son's bedroom with brighter paint? Not really. As parents, you have to get on with your own lives, so you shouldn't be sentimental. When your child moves out, explain that there will always be a room for them-but it will be the guest room."
Eight habits that fuel impotence
Tunde Ajaja
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, October 29, 2017.
Based on findings, one of men's worst sexual problems is impotence. It is a type of sexual dysfunction characterised by the inability of the man to develop or maintain an erection firm enough for sexual intercourse.
Beyond the fact that it reduces man's self esteem, it impairs a man's ability to have sexual intercourse and more importantly, it also reduces the likelihood of the man being able to impregnate a woman. But the good news is that it is curable.
However, given the serious impact it has on the sexual wellness of a man, it is important to point out that there are certain habits that fuel this dysfunction, and these include:
Diet: It should first be noted that the turgidity of the penis is dependent on blood flow and so it is only helpful when people eat the food that would aid blood flow in their system. WebMD, a website that provides valuable health information and tools for managing health, pointed out that the kind of diet or eating pattern that could cause heart attack due to restricted blood flow would also obstruct the flow of blood to the penis, especially when blood flow is needed for the penis to be erect. Therefore, to avoid impotence, men are advised to take fruits, vegetables, fish, red wine, whole grains and heart-healthy fats like nuts. "Anything that is bad for a man's heart is also bad for his penis," an associate professor of clinical urology, Andrew McCullough, said.
Obesity: Another factor that can cause impotence is obesity. According to WebMD, overweight is a risk factor for diabetes, which could cause nerve damage in some parts of the body. However, if one of the nerves that have links with the penis is damaged, it could affect the sensitivity of the penis, resulting in erectile dysfunction. Also, diabetes has been found to be one of the endocrine diseases that impede blood flow and that can also affect blood flow to the penis. Also, people that are obese tend to have high level of visceral fat which has been linked to lower testosterone.
Lack of exercise: Exercise has been found to add great benefits to the body, including increased blood circulation in the body. In fact, exercise has been found to boost libido due to the increased blood flow. On the other hand, inactive or deskbound lifestyle has been found to cause erectile dysfunction. However, people are also advised to be cautious of the kind of exercise they engage in and this is because any form of exercise, like cycling, that puts enormous pressure on the area between the scrotum and anus could affect the nerves and vessels that have links with the penis, leading to erectile dysfunction.
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, October 29, 2017.
Based on findings, one of men's worst sexual problems is impotence. It is a type of sexual dysfunction characterised by the inability of the man to develop or maintain an erection firm enough for sexual intercourse.Beyond the fact that it reduces man's self esteem, it impairs a man's ability to have sexual intercourse and more importantly, it also reduces the likelihood of the man being able to impregnate a woman. But the good news is that it is curable.
However, given the serious impact it has on the sexual wellness of a man, it is important to point out that there are certain habits that fuel this dysfunction, and these include:
Diet: It should first be noted that the turgidity of the penis is dependent on blood flow and so it is only helpful when people eat the food that would aid blood flow in their system. WebMD, a website that provides valuable health information and tools for managing health, pointed out that the kind of diet or eating pattern that could cause heart attack due to restricted blood flow would also obstruct the flow of blood to the penis, especially when blood flow is needed for the penis to be erect. Therefore, to avoid impotence, men are advised to take fruits, vegetables, fish, red wine, whole grains and heart-healthy fats like nuts. "Anything that is bad for a man's heart is also bad for his penis," an associate professor of clinical urology, Andrew McCullough, said.
Obesity: Another factor that can cause impotence is obesity. According to WebMD, overweight is a risk factor for diabetes, which could cause nerve damage in some parts of the body. However, if one of the nerves that have links with the penis is damaged, it could affect the sensitivity of the penis, resulting in erectile dysfunction. Also, diabetes has been found to be one of the endocrine diseases that impede blood flow and that can also affect blood flow to the penis. Also, people that are obese tend to have high level of visceral fat which has been linked to lower testosterone.
Lack of exercise: Exercise has been found to add great benefits to the body, including increased blood circulation in the body. In fact, exercise has been found to boost libido due to the increased blood flow. On the other hand, inactive or deskbound lifestyle has been found to cause erectile dysfunction. However, people are also advised to be cautious of the kind of exercise they engage in and this is because any form of exercise, like cycling, that puts enormous pressure on the area between the scrotum and anus could affect the nerves and vessels that have links with the penis, leading to erectile dysfunction.
Men versus Prostate: Prostate cancer - What to avoid eating
On this issue:
- Every man needs to know about prostate cancer
- Prostate cancer: What to avoid eating
- Early symptoms of prostate cancer
- Know the early symptoms of prostate cancer
- How to prevent prostate problems
- Prostate cancer is curable if detected early
- To beat prostate cancer, have more sex
_____________________________________________
Written by Oladapo Ashiru
~PUNCH NIGERIA. Wednesday, October 11, 2017
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| Written by Oladapo Ashiru |
It is estimated that by 2030, prostate cancer will be the most common cancer in the world. One in eight men will be afflicted with prostate cancer
In Nigeria, every now and then you hear of someone who just died of prostate cancer. This disease occurs most frequently in elderly men of 72 years and above.
Although we are not keeping statistics for the number of new cases and deaths in Nigeria for this preventable disease, the American example is relevant for us because there are significant racial differences that are negative for the African male.
For example, for the African American male aged between 50 and 54 years, the incidence of prostate cancer is two times as high as the Caucasian American and it is one third higher for the African American of all ages.
For all Asian men, the incidence of this type of cancer is relatively low. It is not known what causes this racial difference, but genetics must surely play a part.
Diet is a major another factor that cannot be ruled out as African American food closely mimics many Nigerian diets of pork, beans and greens cooked with plenty of oil and fat. This is, therefore, a Black man's disease that Nigerian men should be concerned about.
The prostate gland is a walnut-sized organ located under the bladder, surrounding the urinary tract of men. It secretes a fluid that forms part of the seminal fluid, which is part of the semen produced at ejaculation after intercourse.
Prostate cancer is primarily a disease of the aged. So as men age, they should take note of the following symptoms and if they have them, they should definitely pay a visit to a doctor.
Slow urination: Men should take this symptom seriously, especially when the last few drops do not expel easily. You should also let the doctor check you out if you notice any change in urination as described below:
Frequent urination is another symptom of prostate cancer. Other symptoms include:
Nocturia, which is passing urine in the night.
Difficulty in passing urine, termed Hesitancy.
Reduced force of urination.
Reduced projectile pressure of urine (ejaculatory pressure).
Blood in the urine.
What causes the prostate to enlarge
Aging, stress, chemical toxins that may be from the use of chemical products like dye, polluted water, and contaminated food, especially with heavy metals; genetics and infection have been identified as some of the factors that can lead to the enlargement of the prostate gland. With aging, there are hormonal changes associated with getting older, such as decreased production of the male testosterone, prolactin ad stress- related hormone will increase with age.
Seven types of libidos
Written by Funmi Akingbade
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, August 13, 2017.
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| Funmi Akingbade |
Why do you lay so much emphasis on sex and sexuality? From my opinion, I think sex is a basic thing; why give so much attention to it?' This was a question I was asked while I was in South Africa giving a talk on sex and sexual health matters.
The first big misconception many people have is thinking that sex is basic and natural and should not be learnt. It is as a result of this discourse that sex education has long been obstructed as if it is not necessary to understand the mechanisms at which it works. Then again, this has caused a lot of damages to many homes.
In reality, sex is cultural; it is the fruit of a learning process and it is something we all have to learn. Until we start learning, we might not be able to unravel the mechanism behind the female's sexuality or the way the erection functions.
As such, today, we want to see seven ways couples can enjoy instant raging passion by being able to differentiate various types of libidos. I would advise you read this together with your spouse, so that both of you can find out which area you fall into.
So, let us look into the arousal types of libidos.
Number one is the sensual libido spouse. This is a spouse who wants sex to be emotional, connecting and superficially physical. The spouse cherishes love play more than the actual sexual acts. This category of spouses is more of introvert lovers than extroverts. Bu the erotic libido spouses are spouses who want sex to be intense and passionate, at least some of the times. They want to explore all the wondrous varieties of sexual activities that are available. Though they can cope with periods of ordinary sex, there are regular opportunities for adventurous and sizzling sex. If you have a strong erotic libido, you get little or no pleasure from low key sex and this might cause problems in the relationship, because your partner might start feeling the pressure to perform at great heights all the time, which is never good.
The second category is the dependent libido spouses and they are spouses who need sex to cope with problems.
Sex soothes them and makes them feel better. They are more sexually active when they have to deal with bad feelings such as stress, boredom or anxiety, pressure, loss of loved one, when they are sick or troubled. When such spouse does not have an understanding partner, the relationship is always under undue pressure because in such cases, if your partner doesn't want to do it when you want because you are in an emotional state, you might tend to interpret it as lack of love and care. It would look like she or he is refusing to give you the medicine you need to... feel better.
The reactive libido spouses are spouses who care more about the sexual needs of their partner.
They sometimes even end up ignoring their own desires if they feel they are not what their partner usually enjoys. These spouses put a lot of effort into foreplay and can only orgasm once they are sure their wives have.
The third category is the entitled libido spouses and these are spouses who assume that it's their God's given right to get whatever they want in their sexual relationship, regardless of the feeling of the other partner. Their mindset is, 'If I want hot steamy sex, I should be given the opportunity to have hot steamy sex and if on the contrary, I want cuddling, my partner should provide me with just that.' This category of spouses is very influenced by the ideas of sex in movies and books and they think they are entitled to have the same great sex as they watch on the screen.
Three women in Zimbabwe rape pastor who tried to collect debt they owed
~Punch Nigeria. Wednesday, July 26, 2017.
Three women have appeared in court after a pastor said they raped him.
Two of the women are alleged to have pinned the man down on a bed, while the third carried out the sex attack.
A magistrates' court in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, was told that the victim was owed money by the attackers and he went to their home to collect it.
They invited him into the house, but once he was inside, he said, he was grabbed around the waist and his trousers were pulled down by a second who then groped him.
The women Sandra Ncube, 21, Riamuhetsi Mlauzi, 23, and Mongiwe Mpofu, 25, denied rape, but pleaded guilty to indecent assault.
One of them said they were 'just playing around.’
Prosecutor, Mr. Petros Shoko, said: “On July 14 at 7pm, the complainant went to the accused persons’ residence to collect money which Mlauzi owed.
“They forced him to lie on the bed and undressed him. Ncube sat on his chest and he tried to push her away. However, Mlauzi held his legs together and sat on his top, pressing him against the bed.
“Mpofu was in another room and brought condoms and placed them on the complainant’s manhood and helped to hold him down.
“Ncube had sexual intercourse with the complainant once without his consent,” Shoko said.
The three denied raping the pastor but admitted indecent assault.
Ncube said: “We were just playing around, Your Worship. I did not think that he would take it seriously.”
Mpofu denied taking part, but admitted bringing the condoms saying: “We keep them around the house and I just brought them.”
Mlauzi said she wanted to 'fix' the pastor who she claimed had a habit of walking in on the women when they were bathing.
She said: “He always walks in on me bathing and claims to be unmoved as a man of God. I just wanted to see if he was going to be aroused or not.
“I did not plan to execute the whole rape thing Your Worship.”
Magistrate Lungile Ncube was told by Mlauzi that she just wanted to prove to the pastor that he had 'feelings like everybody else.'
She said: “I wanted him to see that he was not special and was not immune to sexual arousal.
“When I touched him, he immediately got aroused; and that is all we wanted to see,” she said.
The complainant was taken to Mpilo Central Hospital for a medical examination and the report will be prepared for the magistrates.
All three were remanded in custody until August 7 for a full trial.
Earlier this month, a 39-year-old teacher was hospitalised in Zimbabwe after claiming a gang of three women kidnapped, drugged and raped him for two days.
The man from Makoni in Chitungwiza was left with severely bruised genitals and doctors at Waza Hospital found other signs of sexual abuse after he was dumped by the roadside.
Police are still trying to find the three women who are allegedly part of a 'sperm bandit' gang preying on hitchhikers and travellers and steal and sell their semen for 'good luck.'
There is no suggestion the two alleged crimes are related.
Three women have appeared in court after a pastor said they raped him.
Two of the women are alleged to have pinned the man down on a bed, while the third carried out the sex attack.
A magistrates' court in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, was told that the victim was owed money by the attackers and he went to their home to collect it.
They invited him into the house, but once he was inside, he said, he was grabbed around the waist and his trousers were pulled down by a second who then groped him.
The women Sandra Ncube, 21, Riamuhetsi Mlauzi, 23, and Mongiwe Mpofu, 25, denied rape, but pleaded guilty to indecent assault.
One of them said they were 'just playing around.’
Prosecutor, Mr. Petros Shoko, said: “On July 14 at 7pm, the complainant went to the accused persons’ residence to collect money which Mlauzi owed.
“They forced him to lie on the bed and undressed him. Ncube sat on his chest and he tried to push her away. However, Mlauzi held his legs together and sat on his top, pressing him against the bed.
“Mpofu was in another room and brought condoms and placed them on the complainant’s manhood and helped to hold him down.
“Ncube had sexual intercourse with the complainant once without his consent,” Shoko said.
The three denied raping the pastor but admitted indecent assault.
Ncube said: “We were just playing around, Your Worship. I did not think that he would take it seriously.”
Mpofu denied taking part, but admitted bringing the condoms saying: “We keep them around the house and I just brought them.”
Mlauzi said she wanted to 'fix' the pastor who she claimed had a habit of walking in on the women when they were bathing.
She said: “He always walks in on me bathing and claims to be unmoved as a man of God. I just wanted to see if he was going to be aroused or not.
“I did not plan to execute the whole rape thing Your Worship.”
Magistrate Lungile Ncube was told by Mlauzi that she just wanted to prove to the pastor that he had 'feelings like everybody else.'
She said: “I wanted him to see that he was not special and was not immune to sexual arousal.
“When I touched him, he immediately got aroused; and that is all we wanted to see,” she said.
The complainant was taken to Mpilo Central Hospital for a medical examination and the report will be prepared for the magistrates.
All three were remanded in custody until August 7 for a full trial.
Earlier this month, a 39-year-old teacher was hospitalised in Zimbabwe after claiming a gang of three women kidnapped, drugged and raped him for two days.
The man from Makoni in Chitungwiza was left with severely bruised genitals and doctors at Waza Hospital found other signs of sexual abuse after he was dumped by the roadside.
Police are still trying to find the three women who are allegedly part of a 'sperm bandit' gang preying on hitchhikers and travellers and steal and sell their semen for 'good luck.'
There is no suggestion the two alleged crimes are related.
Lagos: 'Pastor's been sleeping with me since I was 10; this's the fourth abortion'
Written by Evelyn Usman & Onozure Dania
~Vanguard Nigeria. Thursday, May 25, 2017.
LAGOS-Scriptural assertions of wolves in sheep clothing resurfaced yesterday, following a startling revelation by a 16-year-old Senior Secondary School, SSS, I student, on how she has been subjected to sexual violations since she was 10 years by a pastor at the Egbe branch of a popular new generation pentecostal church.
The victim, who spoke from the hospital bed around Ikotun area of the state, alleged that the suspect, with the connivance of a medical doctor, had carried out four abortions on her without her consent.
Trouble, as gathered, started for the teenager after the demise of her parents six years ago. An uncle she identified simply as George, took her to Delta State from where the suspect, who had just been separated from his wife, took her to Lagos to look after his child, with a promise to train her in school.
That was when he allegedly started a sexual relationship with her in his three-bedroom flat at 6, Dolamo Street, Agodo-Egbe.
The victim alleged that whenever he wanted to have sexual intercourse with her, he would invite her to his bedroom and offer her some drugs after which she would lose her memory.
According to her, "he usually invited me to bring water to his room at night. Thereafter, he would give me some drugs. But when I summoned courage to ask him one day, he said that the drugs was to make me sexually active.
'No one believed me'
"I have waited for this day when I would be free from his claws. The first time I opened up to our branch's Senior Pastor and his wife, I was hushed. They even said I wanted to tarnish my guardian's image, despite all he had done to keep me in school.
"Again, I reported the sexual molestation to some of my school teachers, but they said they did not know how to go about it and how to prove my claim. They were even afraid that I could be driven away from the house and that it would mean the end of my education.
~Vanguard Nigeria. Thursday, May 25, 2017.
LAGOS-Scriptural assertions of wolves in sheep clothing resurfaced yesterday, following a startling revelation by a 16-year-old Senior Secondary School, SSS, I student, on how she has been subjected to sexual violations since she was 10 years by a pastor at the Egbe branch of a popular new generation pentecostal church.
The victim, who spoke from the hospital bed around Ikotun area of the state, alleged that the suspect, with the connivance of a medical doctor, had carried out four abortions on her without her consent.
Trouble, as gathered, started for the teenager after the demise of her parents six years ago. An uncle she identified simply as George, took her to Delta State from where the suspect, who had just been separated from his wife, took her to Lagos to look after his child, with a promise to train her in school.
That was when he allegedly started a sexual relationship with her in his three-bedroom flat at 6, Dolamo Street, Agodo-Egbe.
The victim alleged that whenever he wanted to have sexual intercourse with her, he would invite her to his bedroom and offer her some drugs after which she would lose her memory.
According to her, "he usually invited me to bring water to his room at night. Thereafter, he would give me some drugs. But when I summoned courage to ask him one day, he said that the drugs was to make me sexually active.
'No one believed me'
"I have waited for this day when I would be free from his claws. The first time I opened up to our branch's Senior Pastor and his wife, I was hushed. They even said I wanted to tarnish my guardian's image, despite all he had done to keep me in school.
"Again, I reported the sexual molestation to some of my school teachers, but they said they did not know how to go about it and how to prove my claim. They were even afraid that I could be driven away from the house and that it would mean the end of my education.
Lecturer impregnated me, rejects pregnancy, says nursing student • It wasn't me, I used condom - Lecturer
Written by Samson Folarin
~Punch Nigeria. Monday, May 22, 2017.
A lecturer at the Ogun State College of Health Technology, Ilese Ijebu, Dr Oluseyi Adu, and a Dental Nursing student, Mosunmola, are embroiled in a row over who is responsible for the pregnancy that the nursing student is carrying.
Mosunmola, who is nine months pregnant, alleged that Adu was responsible for the child in her womb, adding that they had sex in a hotel sometime in August, 2016.
READ:
45-year-old man impregnates pupil, insists they are lovers
She said the lecturer beat her up last month when she confronted him at the college for avoiding her, adding that the case was already at the Ilese Police Station.
However, while Adu admitted to having sex with the 28-year-old, he insisted that he used contraceptive, saying the lady seduced him and he gave in to the temptation.
Mosunmola told our correspondent that she underwent a three-year course at the college, adding that several lecturers had asked her out before Adu, but she refused.
She said, "Dr Adu is the Oral Health Coordinator for the college. During my three years study, he taught me two courses each semester. I have never failed his course.
"When I got to second semester, 300 level, he awarded me 38 in one of his courses. I went to his office in August 2016 to know why I failed the course. I needed to pass all my courses to be able to go for my board exam.
"He asked me if I thought I could just come to the school and go like that. He said if I dated him, he would waive the course. He said he didn't approach me in 100 level because another lecturer was interested in dating me.
"The lecturer he mentioned told me in 100 level that it was either I paid him money or used my body to pass his course. Because I didn't agree, I failed his course. I didn't pass it until I got to 300 level.
"I told Adu that I would date him, but I didn't want to have any problem, and he assured me that there would be no regret."
The victim said the lecturer took her to the office of the Head of Department and after some discussions, it was agreed that she could sit for the board exam.
After the board exam at POGIL College of Health Technology, Oke-Eri, Ijebu Ode, on August 21, Adu, who was among those on the panel, was said to have given Mosunmola some of his practical instruments and a laptop for safekeeping.
However, Mosunmola said when the school bus arrived to take the students back to the school, she forgot to give the practical instruments back to the lecturer.
She said Adu later called and asked her to bring the instruments to a hotel where he lodged.
"I was preparing to leave when he called me back that I would be sleeping over with him.
"I met him with another lecturer in my department. I observed that the lecturer also had a female student with him. From the hotel, we went to different places before we finally lodged in another hotel along Ilese Road. While I was with Adu in a room, my other classmate passed the night with the second lecturer in another room.
~Punch Nigeria. Monday, May 22, 2017.
A lecturer at the Ogun State College of Health Technology, Ilese Ijebu, Dr Oluseyi Adu, and a Dental Nursing student, Mosunmola, are embroiled in a row over who is responsible for the pregnancy that the nursing student is carrying.
Mosunmola, who is nine months pregnant, alleged that Adu was responsible for the child in her womb, adding that they had sex in a hotel sometime in August, 2016.
READ:
45-year-old man impregnates pupil, insists they are loversShe said the lecturer beat her up last month when she confronted him at the college for avoiding her, adding that the case was already at the Ilese Police Station.
However, while Adu admitted to having sex with the 28-year-old, he insisted that he used contraceptive, saying the lady seduced him and he gave in to the temptation.
Mosunmola told our correspondent that she underwent a three-year course at the college, adding that several lecturers had asked her out before Adu, but she refused.
She said, "Dr Adu is the Oral Health Coordinator for the college. During my three years study, he taught me two courses each semester. I have never failed his course.
"When I got to second semester, 300 level, he awarded me 38 in one of his courses. I went to his office in August 2016 to know why I failed the course. I needed to pass all my courses to be able to go for my board exam.
"He asked me if I thought I could just come to the school and go like that. He said if I dated him, he would waive the course. He said he didn't approach me in 100 level because another lecturer was interested in dating me.
"The lecturer he mentioned told me in 100 level that it was either I paid him money or used my body to pass his course. Because I didn't agree, I failed his course. I didn't pass it until I got to 300 level.
"I told Adu that I would date him, but I didn't want to have any problem, and he assured me that there would be no regret."
The victim said the lecturer took her to the office of the Head of Department and after some discussions, it was agreed that she could sit for the board exam.
After the board exam at POGIL College of Health Technology, Oke-Eri, Ijebu Ode, on August 21, Adu, who was among those on the panel, was said to have given Mosunmola some of his practical instruments and a laptop for safekeeping.
However, Mosunmola said when the school bus arrived to take the students back to the school, she forgot to give the practical instruments back to the lecturer.
She said Adu later called and asked her to bring the instruments to a hotel where he lodged.
"I was preparing to leave when he called me back that I would be sleeping over with him.
"I met him with another lecturer in my department. I observed that the lecturer also had a female student with him. From the hotel, we went to different places before we finally lodged in another hotel along Ilese Road. While I was with Adu in a room, my other classmate passed the night with the second lecturer in another room.
How to handle a cheating spouse
Written by MOTUNRAYO JOEL
~Punch Nigeria. Monday, April 10, 2017.
On June 4, 2015, Mrs. Bukola Yusuf (not real name), a mother of three stormed out of her house in shorts, "I was prepared to engage in a fight with the woman who 'stole' my husband's heart," she told our correspondent.
She said she was fed up with the woman who constantly called and sent messages to her husband's phone.
Yusuf said, "At midnight, my husband's phone would ring; whenever I confronted him about it, he would say, 'It is a useless woman disturbing my phone.' I believed him because I trusted him."
When she discovered that the lady disturbing her peace lived two streets away from hers, she became furious.
"That day-June 4, I was ready to fight; to put an end to everything. But my neighbours stopped me from storming the lady's house," she said.
Little did Yusuf know that her husband was having an affair with the lady. She didn't suspect because he promised her he would never cheat on her. He constantly reassured her of his undying love for her, and like every 'good' wife, she believed him.
"My husband does not have only one girlfriend, I heard he has several girlfriends. I almost lost my mind the period I discovered about his cheating lifestyle. I would cry for days; I felt worthless. He couldn't hold his emotions one night; he blatantly told me that he loves the woman that had been calling his phone. He confessed and said that they met some months ago and that he had been hiding it from me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings," she said.
Yusuf told SUNDAY PUNCH that her husband shares his time between her and his girlfriends.
Yusuf isn't the only one battling with a cheating spouse; Mrs. Toyin Oyebanjo (not real name) is paddling the same boat.
Oyebanjo believes her husband's 'womanising' nature started before they got married. She said she thought he would change.
"I have been married to him for 15 years; we separated for two years. It breaks my heart to say that I've not been happy in my marriage since I got married. People may say I was stupid for marrying him, knowing quite well that he can't remain with one woman. But I thought he would change; I thought his love for me would change him,'' she said.
~Punch Nigeria. Monday, April 10, 2017.
On June 4, 2015, Mrs. Bukola Yusuf (not real name), a mother of three stormed out of her house in shorts, "I was prepared to engage in a fight with the woman who 'stole' my husband's heart," she told our correspondent.She said she was fed up with the woman who constantly called and sent messages to her husband's phone.
Yusuf said, "At midnight, my husband's phone would ring; whenever I confronted him about it, he would say, 'It is a useless woman disturbing my phone.' I believed him because I trusted him."
When she discovered that the lady disturbing her peace lived two streets away from hers, she became furious.
"That day-June 4, I was ready to fight; to put an end to everything. But my neighbours stopped me from storming the lady's house," she said.
Little did Yusuf know that her husband was having an affair with the lady. She didn't suspect because he promised her he would never cheat on her. He constantly reassured her of his undying love for her, and like every 'good' wife, she believed him.
"My husband does not have only one girlfriend, I heard he has several girlfriends. I almost lost my mind the period I discovered about his cheating lifestyle. I would cry for days; I felt worthless. He couldn't hold his emotions one night; he blatantly told me that he loves the woman that had been calling his phone. He confessed and said that they met some months ago and that he had been hiding it from me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings," she said.
Yusuf told SUNDAY PUNCH that her husband shares his time between her and his girlfriends.
Yusuf isn't the only one battling with a cheating spouse; Mrs. Toyin Oyebanjo (not real name) is paddling the same boat.
Oyebanjo believes her husband's 'womanising' nature started before they got married. She said she thought he would change.
"I have been married to him for 15 years; we separated for two years. It breaks my heart to say that I've not been happy in my marriage since I got married. People may say I was stupid for marrying him, knowing quite well that he can't remain with one woman. But I thought he would change; I thought his love for me would change him,'' she said.
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