The Patient Wife Gets Her Man At What Cost!

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, September 18, 2016. 

IT was a little incident, but it opened the floodgate of nostalgia, I'd arrived late at a wedding reception and was ushered to what looked like the high table. The groom's mother is a close friend. I sensed rather than saw this look of disapproval burning into my scalp. I turned, and there she was – Dolapo's wife. I held her gaze and gave as much hostility as she emitted. She promptly looked away. How long ago was it? Over 20 years at least. I'd met Dolapo on a flight from abroad when he wangled his way to the empty seat by my side in first class. Those were the good old days!

The goodies I didn't want jostled about in the haul was deliberately perched on the empty seat next to mine. I had to shift for Dolapo to sit down. It later expired that the seat was booked in his assistant's name but he quickly nudged the poor man towards his own seat so he could sit next to me. I wasn't really interested in what he had to say. Someone else had treated me to this holiday and I'd had fun. Then I noticed he was a picky eater. First, he didn't touch the individual pot of caviar that was served with the starter. Then the lobster in his main dish was left untouched. "I'm allergic to sea food," he whined. Deftyly, I scooped the lobster on to my plate and retrieved the pot of caviar.

"That moment you stole my food," Dolapo later boasted, "I knew I would get my pound of flesh!" And he was a very easy person to love. In spite of his position, he conducted our affair as if he were single. Our social outings were very public and once or twice, his private driver had hinted I should ask him to be a bit careful, that whenever he sent him to mine, it was always within ear- short of the poor wife.


What exactly was I supposed to do? From the little he told me, his marriage obviously wasn't up to much. What was more, I was almost divorced, I had no irate husband to worry about. We were together every opportunity we had and the man's appetite for sex was insatiable! It was as if he couldn't have enough of me. Even when we were apart, I had one of these cordless phones with a very wide range as mobiles weren't in vogue then. I took the phone everywhere I went and became a laughing stock with my friends.

Still, Dolapo's wife's ghost was always there. I saw both of them together a few times in the dailies and she fitted my image of a dull, frumpy wife. Even the wig she always had on looked like a badly used mop. I was never a frumpy dresser and for him, I pushed the boat out a bit – wearing really flattering gears any time we were together. And he often spent the night too – his martyr of a wife never questioned him and they had separate bedrooms.

Marriage: Marriage is not for Everyone

Topics:
Marriage is not for Everyone
Five steps to save your marriage
__________________________________

Marriage is not for Everyone
Written by Ogaga Otaotu

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, September 18, 2016.

The Mature Single Woman(MSW) is an unmarried single lady who is of the age 30 and above. Today's Woman spoke to some beautiful ladies during the week and they shared their day to day experiences in the office, public places, at home and at events. Some said they had to deal with all sorts challenges from: neighbors, male colleagues and relatives. The question is "Is it a crime to be a mature single lady?"

Forty-year-old Abike, a banker, said just recently, there arose the issue of attendance in her office. Her male colleague claimed he arrived the office before her but was trying to tidy up some things in the car before she signed in.

An argument ensued and before you could say hey! the young man blurted "Oh ...you think you can talk to me like that? I don't blame you... that is why you can never be married".

As far as Abike is concerned, you get to hear that line regularly as a mature single lady. It can either be told to your face or behind you. She has however learnt to laugh it off.

Nnena, 36year old business woman, recounted a bitter experience she had some months ago. She got to her business place in high spirit and was busy tending to her goods when her neighbor came in to remind her of the outstanding electricity bill.

She had not paid because she was away the previous week. What started as a mild disagreement led to a heated argument and the neighbor dropped the usual line "that's why you are not married, because of your bad attitude". Nnenna wept sore, locked up her store and went home.

Affairs with married women are not as 'safe' as men think – Reader

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, August 28, 2016.

FROM time to time, I get letters from you readers that are so interesting that I feel I ought to share them with the rest of you. A few days back, a letter simply signed "Iyabode" popped up on my e-mail and I couldn't help chuckling to myself as I read it. She wrote: "Dear Bunmi, I am one of the regular readers of your articles in The Vanguard every Sunday, and I do not even know how fully I can express my feelings about your articles. If I may tell you, they have really improved my lifestyle and I always make copies available to friends whenever the need arises.

Bunmi, I shall be grateful if you can please help write something one of these days on: Why men of today prefer married women as girlfriends. Honestly speaking, it is a vogue in town these days. Please help emphasize on the following points:

Class: This set of married women are known for their own class. Most of them are wives of rich and notorious men. These men also go out at all times with extremely younger girls, leaving their wives and kids at home, thinking that money can fix everything, forgetting about love and happiness.

Sex: This category of ladies are preferred by men because they do have wide sexual experiences and they are very safe as they don't pester the men for marriage.

Fashion: These ladies are very fashion conscious. They are seen in designer dresses and at beauty parlours. They do not mind how much they spend on manicures, pedicures and professionally

SEX IS GOD'S IDEA: SEXUALITY IN GOD'S KINGDOM ON EARTH

Written by Rev. Dr. Adenike Yesufu

Email: ayesufu@yahoo.ca

World Health Organization says that sex occurs more than 100 million times everyday around the world. For all its frequency, sex remains a private, personal, intensely individual and complex matter in people's lives and in many cultures. God in the Garden of Eden inaugurated heterosexual relationship when He gave Eve to Adam. The Bible introduces sex. 

The Bible celebrates sex. Forget the apple narrative; sex is given for procreation and for pleasure. All societies control sexuality. All societies have social norms that grant approval to certain sexual behavior and disapproval of others. No society grants unrestricted sexual liberties. Even as sexuality is God's gift to human beings, God places limitations on sexual practices, not to cause discomfort for His creatures but to ensure that physical relations are the most special and unique expression of love and trust a human being can bestow on one another. God's limitations on sex are positive. Without limitations, sex becomes mere performance and everything is devalued.

However, in the fast-paced world of today, sex seems to be on everybody's mind and lips. Malcolm Muggeridge says Society has sex on its brain; it is a very uncomfortable place to have it. I remember The Thorn Birds, the movie based on the novel by Colleen McCullough. I also remember Richard Chamberlain's excellent performance as Father Ralph. Many people see the Thorn Birds as a love story. However, I see a priest's intense struggle with his Spirituality (his love for God) and his Sexuality (his human passion). There is no doubt that Father Ralph loves his God more than he loves the woman of focus as he claims in the movie. In spite of his unflinching commitment to God and his vocation, Father Ralph succumbed to the lure of the flesh. For me this story represents the sexual struggles of many Christians in today's world. This led me to reflect on Sexuality in God's Kingdom on earth.

Society continues to experience a sexual revolution that has led to changes in many areas of human sexuality. Attitudes towards sexual permissiveness have changed with people having a more tolerant view of it. The Media generally permissive with sexual content continues to portray non-marital sex as exciting, spontaneous sex as romantic, extra marital sex as normal and inevitable. Sexual issues have become so overt with the incessant bombardment and assault by the media that it is definitely always in everybody's face and thereby almost on everybody's mind, even on Christian minds. Who can resist the temptation of thoughtful engagement? Society has become permissive. It is now judgmental within the Church to discuss human sexuality from moral perspectives.

Male hairdressers: Why women prefer them

By Josephine Agbonkhese & Anino Aganbi
~Vanguard Nigeria. Thursday, June 23, 2016

Ugo Igbokwe, celebrity hairstylist

WHEN you think hairdressing, you naturally think women and nothing more. But that isn't the case anymore as more and more young men continue to give female hairstylists a real run for their money. A visit by Woman's Own to major hairdressing hubs around town proved this-and we're sure you've got proofs in your neighbourhood too.

Interestingly, these men do not require luxurious shops to steal the hearts of customers. With a make-shift salon of any kind, any female hairstylist who has got a shop near one of them either folds up in no time or branches into other trades to stay relevant and earn a living.

It however still remains a mystery how men would become better at dressing a woman's hair-a business that was traditionally female, than women themselves.

Attention to detail: But are they (men) actually better at hair making or is it all in the mind of women who are perhaps thrilled about having the opposite sex touch their hair? Why do customers swarm around them like bees to honey?"I think they pay more attention to detail.

That's where they beat female hairstylists. Women around me prefer them too. If you go to prominent hairstylists in Surulere in Lagos for example, you'll find that they are owned by men and also attract A-list artists and celebrities from across the country. In fact, one of the best hairstylists in Nigeria today is Ugo Igbokwe and he is male.

"One thing you also notice when you visit these salons owned by men is that women would prefer to queue up and wait for their male workers to make their hair rather than let their female workers who are probably less busy, make their hair," said Christie Anyanwu, a Lagos-based professional who resides in Surulere, an area of Lagos renowned for hair-making.Mubo Alade, a front-desk officer in a telecommunication firm in Lagos, also finds male hairdressers very intriguing.

Why men don’t forgive their cheating partners

Written by Tunde Ajaja
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, July 17, 2016

In her lone moments, Kolawole Busola, 38, (not real name) would certainly wish she could undo the string of events that led her into the waiting arms of Daniels, a colleague at work.

Married to a businessman, Babatope, 43, who never spent a full week in the house without travelling, and one who never bothered to create the romantic atmosphere for their love and intimacy to grow, Busola still has herself to blame for what she has got herself into.

Her undoing was sharing her worries about her home with a male colleague who offered his advice, counsel and even gave her a shoulder to lean on. They became close and started going out together. She did it so well that her husband never suspected anything.

Not long after, their friendship became platonic (intimate and affectionate but not sexual) and few months after, they ended up in bed, having sexual relationship. They did that more than once, and being something she had missed from her husband, it became a routine to the extent that her husband suspected and started monitoring her, discreetly.

Eventually, Babatope found out that his wife had been cheating on him the day he picked his wife's phone to read her text messages. According to him, that was the end. Not even pleas and admonitions by family members and friends could convince him to shelve his plan to file for divorce.

Love or respect

~The SUN, Nigeria. Sunday, July 10, 2016

SHOW me a woman who does not believe in love and I will show you a liar. Every woman wants to be loved. We all long for that indescribable feeling that keeps our heads in the cloud. That feeling that makes you feel that you and your man are the only ones on the surface of the earth and when he touches you, you feel this tingling sensation running down your spine. His voice does things to your system, etcetera etcetera.

It is a feeling that makes a woman see life through rose-tinted glasses. It is a delicious feeling. It leads you into temptation. It makes you do things that you may later in life wonder how you ever contemplated at all. Sometimes it puts a smile on your face in a crowd of serious people doing serious business when your mind wanders to those loving moments. They all look at you like you are losing it but you are glorying in something you hold or once held so dear.

Sometimes a love experience does not end in marriage and till death do you part but it does not take away from the solid fact that for the rest of your life, you will never forget it. Remember that song:


Everybody, think back

To your very first time

Oh, not when you lost your virginity this time. That could be memorable too but we will talk about that sometime soon.

Love. It makes you defy reason, logic, sound advice. Anything that wants to come between you and your Romeo would simply have to step aside or go to blazes, whichever they prefer.

Did you ever defy your parents for the lover boy? Did you steal your mother's jewelry to sell so your Romeo could buy a ticket to Britain? The things we have all done for love... the things women are still doing for love, in the name of love...Ah. They scare me but what is life without love? It is a feeling every man, every woman must experience. And because the cupid's arrow does not strike often, for some people it is a once in a lifetime thing, it must be savoured.

The ugly side of masturbation

Written by Tunde Ajaja
~Punch, Nigeria. Saturday, June 18, 2016

Apart from penetrative sex between heterosexual beings, it is no longer hidden that people have devised several other means to satisfy themselves sexually, and prominent among them is masturbation.

Defined simply as the sexual stimulation of one's own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm, masturbation, which of course is usually done in the secret, is practised by both singles and married.

While people perceive men to be guiltier of this act, findings have shown that women indu lge in it as well, more so with the use of sex toys.

According to Kinsey Institute, an organisation that promotes interdisciplinary research and scholarship in the field of human sexuality and related aspects of gender, relationship and reproduction, about 92 per cent of men and 62 per cent of women engage in masturbation in their lifetime.

A study by Christin Bowman of the Department of Social-Personality Psychology, University of New York, United States, found that women's reasons for masturbating could be any of sexual pleasure, to learn about or better understand their bodies, as a release, to substitute for sex from their partner and general sexual dissatisfaction.

He found that even though women's feelings when they masturbate could lead to shame or fear that they are acting selfishly, mainly, most women feel sexually empowered when they do it.

The question as to whether this act is good for the human system or not has been tossed back and forth, without a unanimous outcome. While some experts say it is good for the body, some others say its side effect is best described as detrimental.

Common tenants' complaints against landlords

Written by Abiodun Doherty
~Punch, Nigeria. Tuesday, June 14, 2016.

Abiodun Doherty

Landlord and tenant problems are among the most contentious after issues of land ownership and the reasons are obvious. The interests and concerns of both categories are usually divergent or opposed to one another. One tends to wonder why this is often so and what can be done to reduce or eliminate it. In my opinion, the journey to solution in this instance should start with a careful understanding of the key issues that generate these conflicts. A discussion with most tenants reveals the following issues are the common areas of complaints against their landlords.

Most landlord and tenant relationships usually start on a semi-formal level and it is only as these issues build up and are not addressed amicably that they degenerate into a level where the landlord is more comfortable with ejecting the tenant or the tenant is more interested in renting another property than renewing his or her tenancy. When issues arise, it is better to discuss them and find amicable solutions to them where possible.

The primary complaint of tenants is that many landlords do not mind their own business. They tend to interfere in the personal space of their tenants and seek to control everything happening in the property. The obvious reason for this is the fact that many landlords have personal attachment to their properties. They are concerned with the look and feel of the properties. They cannot stand to see anyone inhabiting the property without taking care of it as his or her personal property.

Controversy over dog meat

Written by Doris Obinna
~The SUN, Nigeria. Friday, June 3, 2016.

• It enhances libido, cures malaria -Consumers

• No, dog meat causes health hazards - WHO, vet doctors

Many detest dog meat and everything that has to do with it. They avoid it like a plague. Even the mere mention of dog meat puts them off. Some might even throw up at the mention of it.

However, there are some folks, who eat dog meat and relish it, doing so with every sense of gladness. For them, it is meat like no other.

One of such persons is Nsikan John. The 35-year-old man says dog meat is better than every other meat around.

"If you offer me a variety of meats, including dog meat, I will first go for the dog meat. It not only tastes better, it has medicinal values. I can't remember the last time I treated malaria fever. It fights it off summarily. In fact, dog meat is a common cuisine among my people and we enjoy it so much."

All over the world, dogs are accepted as trusted friends and security guards. But among some people, they suffer terrible fate. They are sold as items of trade, butchered and their meat consumed by humans.

Whereas some people in some climes accept the consumption of dog meat as part of their day-to-day cuisine, some consider the practice a taboo. In some cultures, exigencies of war and hunger sometimes make the consumption of dog meat a necessary practice.

Humane Society International is one of many non-governmental organisations

around the world fighting to end the dog meat trade.

Research shows that every year, an estimated 25 million dogs are killed and consumed. This statistics brings to the fore the telling truth that dogs in many climes suffer a great deal. It is for this reason that it has been stated that commercial dog meat production is inherently cruel. This practice condemns dogs to suffer at every turn. Even the rising belief that the consumption of dog meat might lead in the transmission of diseases does not deter its consumers.

Sex: Ancient versus modern

Written by Yetunde Arebi
~Vanguard, Nigeria. Sunday, May 1, 2016


At birth, no one knows what sex means. But with age, exposure and maturity, we all get to know about sex.Our knowledge, ideas and beliefs about sex often times will depend largely on what our society stipulates it to be. Therefore, not all of us will have the same ideas and attitude about sex. What is right and proper differs from individual to individual and society to society. However, what we know and have come to accept as the norm about sex, sexuality and sexual orientation today, was not what it used to be many, many years ago in many cultures.

Interestingly though, some societies have yet to still evolve from the old rituals. For instance, virginity many years ago ceased to considered a virtue as young ladies seeking suitors were allowed to shop for Mr. Right by sampling potential young men in bed till they find one that could satisfy them the most! Shocking?

From puberty to reproduction to recreation, sex has a place in every custom and society and many of them have unique peculiarities of their own. And though most have long been taken over by cultural evolution and health reasons, many are still well entrenched in some societies to date. Let’s take a glimpse into some of the sex rituals performed by cultures across the world, so many of us will see that we have not done so badly at all, even with all our wild preferences and orientations.

*New Guinea, Australia: For many tribes here, puberty starts from about age six when the little boys are weaned of their mothers’ aprons. They are taken to a camp in the forest where they begin their training into manhood. For the Sambian and Trobriander tribes, this period spans about age 6-12 and the children are taught to start engaging in sexual activities, albeit as homosexual or gay men.

They are kept away from women and are encouraged to fellate and swallow the semen of older young men with the belief that it is the way they will grow into strong men. The stronger the men, mostly warriors, the better for the young boys. This is because the Sambia believes that at birth, everyone is born with something called a ‘tingu’. A woman’s tingu becomes mature once she begins menstruation, but not so easily for the boys. His tingu has to be developed and the only way to achieve this is by drinking the ‘man milk’ of older men till he reaches puberty at about 13 years.

Once he goes through a ritual involving nose-bleeding, he becomes qualified to provide mentoring with his man milk for other young men too. By age 20, he is ready to marry and the older men take him through another round of training; how to protect himself from the impurities of women. For example, when having intercourse, he must stuff mint leaves in his nostrils and chew on the bark in order to mask the smell of his wife’s genitals. He must learn to use only short strokes as deep penetration is not allowed to prevent being polluted by women.

After intercourse, a man must go to bathe in the mud in order to wash away female impurities he may have contracted from his wife. Even after marriage, he is not permitted to spend too long a period with his wife and must stick close to the men.Instructively, women are allowed as much sexual freedom as the men as there are no special stigmas accorded to sex. Intriguing here however, is that while everybody is allowed to engage in as much sex as they want, pre-marital meal sharing, more like dates, are not allowed publicly! (Today, most men, I’m sure will gladly embrace this!)

Tips for dating a Nigerian woman

By Femi Ajasa

~Vanguard: Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Dating a typical Nigerian lady can be a topsy-turvy experience especially for a man who is just wetting his feet in the dating game. Normally, women are complicated beings let alone a Nigerian woman who has so many challenges to deal with like an unstable economy, family, tradition, ethnicity, religion, peer pressure, biology and much more. All these factors conspire to influence whoever she will date.

The averageman with his chauvinistic African mindset or perception does not understand this and expect this type of woman to accept him hook, line and sinker. Little does he know that the days of parents marrying wives for their kids isold skooland that most women know what they want. If you want your relationship to blossom with a typical Nigerian woman, Jovago.com, Africa's shares tips that can make this dream a reality.

Give her money to make her hair

Didi,Shooku, andPatewoare traditional hairstyles in Nigeria but young women prefer the Brazilian hair, the deft Ghana weaving, and attachment because it makes them appear sophisticated. They rarely wear their natural hair, adorning these foreign hairstyles cost money and time and she expects her man to foot the bill for her hair. If not always but once in awhile. In other cases, if you notice she is wearing a new hairstyle, it will not kill you to compliment her and perhaps pay for it. Afterwards, it is because of you, she spends that much time at the salon anyways.

Getting married even when you are broke

Written by Ugodre Obi-Chukwu

Twitter: @nairamterics or @ugodre. 

Website: www.nairametrics.com 

~Punch: Thursday, April 7, 2016

Nnamdi has been dating Amaka for about three years now and pressure is mounting on for them to take the relationship to the next level. Nnamdi is approaching his mid-thirties and Amaka is also not getting any younger making time not exactly their friend. Their respective parents are also mounting pressure and do not understand why their children would not just get married soon enough.

Unknown to either parents, Nnamdi and Amaka have a major stumbling block. Apart from being career focused individuals they also believe more importantly that their combined salary is not enough for them to build a home and at the same time pursue their career objectives.

Many of us fall into this trap at some point in our life and if not handled carefully can lead to serious emotional and financial distress. How does one get married without enough money? I will attempt to respond by addressing some of the common excuses we give.

I can't afford wedding "ceremoney" - The thought of preparing for a wedding ceremony is one that scares many off early marriages. Most people consider it a very special event and believe the only way to live a lasting memory is to splurge on it. Having a memorable wedding is important for everyone however, not everyone can afford an expensive and memorable wedding. With proper planning you can have a cheap and memorable wedding as well.

Wedding ceremony shouldn't be seen as a do or die affair as all you have to do is spend what you can afford. What you should realise is that at the end of the day it's about you and your spouse being happily married thereafter and not about the drinks, food and the pageantry that comes with the ceremony. There will be many, many more opportunities to be merry with friends and family.

Where will we live after we get married? -My friend, Victor once told me he got married to his wife when he was still living in a one bedroom flat. After the wedding, they came back home to their one room apartment happier than they could ever imagine. I asked him why and he said the thought of them spending the night together forever was all they wished for and could as well have lived in the car if that's what it will take. The point here is that you need not live in a three bedroom or four bedroom apartment to get married. You could even have just married and still living in your parent's apartment provided you are both focused on the goal.

Knowing when Enough is Enough

Written by Edith Ohaja

~Vanguard, Nigeria. February 29, 2016

Kukah's wife, Ojoma, has done it again! She just keeps pushing till he loses his patience and blows a fuse. She's always going on about his English - how a graduate should not speak the way he does, how a teacher should be a model to the students, blah, blah, blah. Kukah feels the attacks are unjustified. He admits his English is less than perfect, but he often reminds her, "I am a Chemistry teacher for crying out loud and I know a bunch of guys with higher degrees who speak more atrocious English than I do." He learned the term, "atrocious English", from her on one of the occasions she was berating him.

-

It's not like Kukah dozed through his English classes as a student. It's just that the teachers weren't much better than the pupils and it was felt on both sides that what matters most is to be understood. But he admired those who spoke well, which is why he went after his wife. He did ask her to teach him at some point but after she tried explaining about mood in grammar - indicative, subjunctive and so on - he gave up. The whole thing was too confusing.

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"English is more technical and more illogical than any subject I know: the rules just keep changing, what applies in one case doesn't necessarily apply in all similar cases. Thank God, I scraped through the subject at O'Levels," he had declared then.

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But his wife was not prepared to write him off as a lost cause. She was not bothered about the garble others spoke, but she was determined to refine her husband's usage of the English language. Which would have been fine and good, except she didn't know the time and place for it.

-

So this morning when her husband, the vice principal, was chatting with colleagues in the staffroom, she tut tutted his observation that Class 5 "beat" Class 6 every year in inter-house football. Ignoring the glare he gave her, she explained that class is a singular noun and thus should go with the singular verb, "beats" and followed that up with a lecture on how important concord is in English. However, Kukah cut her off midway, basically telling her that she and the English should take their unreasonable language with its erratic rules and shove it up you know where.

-

Kukah knew it was a bad idea to teach in the same school with his wife but jobs are hard to find, so he used his influence to secure a place for her. But he was wondering with their constant run-ins on English if that move was really worth the cost. When he got to his office, he began to rearrange the stuff on his table. That was his calm-down mechanism. If he was still boiling by the time he finished with the table, he would work on the entire room.

-

As he was packing books and papers, Mrs. Bulama, a fellow teacher, poked her head through the door. She held his gaze with a sympathetic and indulgent smile and initiated a rather strange conversation. First, she offered to help him reorganize his desk but he told her the desk was fine, that he was just ....

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"I know how you feel. I am so sorry for that episode out there."

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One Word That Can End A Friendship

~TheGuardian, Nigerian.

We all have friends and we all know how important it is to have friends for the various reasons that we do; be it for reasons like networking, social life or for the sake of having a life partner. Yes, sometimes they support, encourage and stick with us through thick or thin but there is one major thing that can turn a good and lively friendship into a sour tale of strangers. Can you guess it? it has the following meaning:

1. to be actively and attentively engaged in work or a pastime
2. not at leisure; otherwise engaged

Yes, you guessed it. The one word that can trigger the end or terminate a friendship/relationship is "busy". It's the one word that's driving away your friends and you immediately need to remove it from your vocabulary. To you it may seem fine because you may be at work or occupied at the present time but nobody likes to hear these words:


"I'd love to hang out! But I'm really busy."


"Sorry I didn't get back to you earlier! I've been so busy."

"What's going on with me? Just busy as usual!"


Truthfully, there is nothing wrong in being busy, people can actually have a ton of things to do and still maintain a great relationship. It's not the work that is bothering, it's the word "busy". The word busy makes the other person feel like there is something more important at that present time to do than engaging in the activity in which they would like to do with you,indirectly letting the person know their place in your social scale of preference.


Let's see some other alternatives to telling someone you are "busy":

• Telling them the actual reason you can't meet with them

Be specific with your reason. The easiest way to turn a friend down without hurting their feelings is telling them the real reason you can't meet with them. For instance, a friend invites you for his/her birthday party, writing back "i'dlove to but i'mreally busy" is simply rejecting your friend but saying "i'd love to but Yemi has his office dinner and he want's me to be there this time, i have turned him down twice already. Have a glass of champagne for me. Happy birthday". That's a much nicer way that explains why you can't meet up andyour friend knows you have his/herbest interest at heart.

Why Hot Women Are Single

~TheGuardian, Nigeria

One of this world's most interesting phenomenons is when hot women are single. If you're reading this, chances are you are you are hot and constantly wondering why you're single. Or you know someone who is.

There are countless women in the world who are gorgeous, smart, witty, and down to earth. But in as much as these women are thriving in their careers, extremely loyal to friends and family, and have glorious senses of self-worth, they still find themselves being asked one question over and again - How are you single?

Why are women who meet even the most standard definition of beauty, and seem to be perfect, struggling so much to find dates today? Like, no one is calling up these women to hang out, or sending them drinks or food. And they definitely don't have anyone to call up to come spend time with them on lonely nights.

HERE ARE A COUPLE OF REASONS WHY HOT WOMEN ARE SINGLE:

1. She's no longer interested in dating just for the sake of it

As fun as casual dates can be, there are some people who no longer get any satisfaction from them. Maybe she would rather have one solid date than go on a thousand mediocre ones. It may not make a lot of sense to some people, but most women who feel this way just don't want to go out with a person they can't see themselves with in a long-term situation. While it may come across as being unnecessarily picky, but it's really just that she wouldn't want to waste her time or that of anyone else's.

2. She's done with her "hoe phase"

No, I don't think having casual, meaningless, no-strings-attached sex makes you a hoe. The "hoe phase" is simply a phase of liberated sexual exploration, as far as I'm concerned.

What women want from their men -Funke Felix-Adejumo

Written by CHRISTY ANYANWU - Nigeria. 

Rev (Mrs.) Funke Felix-Adejumo

Renowned international speaker and female empowerment coach, Rev (Mrs.) Funke Felix-Adejumo, spoke on the challenges of womanhood and her experience as a wife for over 30 years.

Excerpts:


You have been married to one man for over 30 years. What has kept you going?


My husband and I have actually been married for 31years. Our marriage will be 32 on September 8. The major and greatest force in our marriage is God. And that's not to sound religious. It is what God keeps that is kept. John 3:27 is my favorite Scripture: "A man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven."


God did not create a world in which He will not be needed. He instituted marriage in the first instance. So He is the greatest marriage expert and consultant.


Both of us are born again Christians so we don't joke with our relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. This reflects in the way we love and honour each other. It reflects in the way we handle misunderstandings. It reflects in everything we do.


In 31 years, my husband and I pray together everyday! When we are not together, we pray on the phone. Remember we did not start traveling separately until a few years ago. That was before technology came into the picture.


Also, we agreed on transparency and honesty. We agreed that this will be the trade mark of our relationship. There's nothing we don't discuss. And I mean absolutely nothing, including the minutest details of life.

Your health and mobile phone

Written by ‘Sola Fagorusi - Punch, Nigeria.

 ‘Sola Fagorusi 

The mobile phone is one of man’s greatest inventions. It provides a fitting solution to man’s ravenous craving for communication. It is even more dependable now that it serves other purposes than just sending text messages and making calls.

Smart mobile phones now aid navigation in communities with maps, capture pictures and videos. The services that mobile apps offer are limitless.

Mobile phones have become the most preferred screen to stare at for many hours, displacing television that hitherto held this record.

Researchers peg the number of hours people spend on their mobile phones at an average of three hours daily. If the figure is put in an empirical form, it means that each year, the average person spends about 1,095 hours staring at or getting something done through the mobile phone. The average person with a mobile phone, therefore, spends 45 days on their mobile phones annually. When contextualised into how many years of an average life span this translates to, the result is frightening.

Smart phones have a great appeal because of the several alternatives they offer. Games, torches, finance management, recorders, alarm clocks and, currency conversion are some of the things they offer. As technology improves, one expects that dependence on this all-important device will also increase.

Must a wife always say yes to sex?

Written by Bunmi Sofola - Vanguard, Nigeria. 

Forget the old wives' tale that a married woman must be ever ready to satisfy her husband's conjugal rites' (how archaic!) but when push comes to shove, must a wife always be her husband's 'obedient servant' in the bedroom? Some months back, two couples were asked about their mismatched libidos, and how it affected their marriage.

While one partner claimed to be pretty much always in the mood, the other often felt pressured to have sex when they had little desire to do so. The challenge? For one month, the couples agreed they'd make love every time their partner made an advance. Would this highlight cracks in their relationship-or bring them closer together? Both couples kept diaries for four weeks.

COUPLE 1: Nathaniel, 38 an architect, and wife, Motoke, 40, an industrial nurse have been married for 12 years and have three children. While Nathaniel would like sex every night, Motoke says juggling work and family has sapped her libido, meaning she's only in the mood a couple of times a month. Their score: Week 1: twice; Week 2: once, Week 3: once; Week 4: twice. Total: Six times in four weeks.

According to Nathaniel: I'm so excited at the prospect of being able to make love to my wife more often that, on the first night, even though I'm shattered after 12 hours at work, my heart is racing as we climb into bed at 10.30pm; even more thrilling, Motoke actually makes the first move-I cannot remember the last time that happened.

I spend all the next day fantasising about what will happen later, but after a couple of glasses of wine, we both collapsed into bed and fell asleep. I'm too tired to mind. Sex is then off the agenda for a few days as it was Motoke's 'time of the month', but then she actually asks if we can go to bed. You bet!

When men think they are playing games

Written by Biodun Ogungbo - Punch, Nigeria. 

Easy prey

As many women know, men are easy and can be led by their penises in most instances. Men just want to get their rocks off without any emotional baggage. For example, a man took his wife to the hospital. After the consultation, the doctor said, ‘Sir, you will not be able to have sex with your wife for about two weeks while everything heals’. He looked at the doctor incredulously, laughed in derision and said, ‘No problem, I have three wives!’ In effect, it is her loss if her ‘you know what’ is out of commission. Nothing to do with him! With free sex on tap, most men will say, ‘Yes, I love you’, to the devil herself!

So, let us have some fun with men.

First, a joke

A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. I think it was one of those quick Mike Tyson fights. The husband sighs and complains, ‘This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!’ ‘Good,’ replied his wife. ‘Now you know how I feel.’ Wham, bang, thank you, Madam!

A conference for love

Heard about the man who told his wife he was off for a three-day church conference. ‘Okay’, said the wife but first, let us pray. She said, ‘Lord, grant my husband great journey.’ ‘Amen’, he shouted. ‘Weaken his manhood, if he tries to commit adultery’. The husband was silent. ‘Kill him if he commits….’ At this point, the husband shouted, ‘Shut up, shut up.’ ‘I am no longer going on the trip’. ‘The Holy Spirit has just told me the conference has been cancelled’.

The devil in mobiles