How far are you willing to go to get your wife pregnant?

Written by Bunmi Sofola

~Vanguardm Nigeria.

Just how desperate are you to have a child? After exploring all avenues available to you medically, are you willing to seek outside help? Like natural insemination? Artificial insemination is when a donor sperm is introduced into the female vagina with the hope that the patient would eventually get pregnant. This method is resorted to when the male partner's sperm counts are too low to father a child – or they are just blanks. All over the world, a lot of women are playing God by sneakily seeking the help of a virile man to help them get the much longed for child. These days however, with infidelity being condoned, some men have come out to support their wives in their quest to get pregnant, to the extent of agreeing to Natural Insemination (NI).

One of such women recently quoted in a foreign press alleged that: "My husband knows what he wants to know. We have conceived through natural insemination and had sex with more than one donor over a few months. There is no doubt that it is emotionally charged and my husband found it difficult. Also, the sex with someone other than my husband is surprisingly enjoyable, sexy and kinky and if we are going to be honest, it's cheating. We accepted all that and it worked for us. I wouldn't have done it any other way. I agreed that my husband is wonderful and I will love him and be grateful to him forever, for giving us this opportunity to have a proper family.

"But natural insemination is how I wanted to make our baby. Bottles, tubes, syringes are just not what I wanted to be involved with when I became pregnant. I don't judge anyone. It is just not what I wanted. We're not swingers. I could never cope with my husband doing what I did, which is what makes him even more wonderful. But our sex life is not the point here. I wanted to get pregnant and I loved doing it. The whole process was fun, sexy and memorable. I am sorry if that makes me a harlot but there are no two ways about it. I did feel more fertile when dressed up, having sex all night and feeling satisfied in the morning. 

We don't have any secrets.

"My husband knows what he wants to know and can ask anything. For what it is worth, he took me shopping for the underwear". And if you are curious about how any man involved in such an emotionally volatile arrangement feels, here is a 32-year-old male's view: "Insemination can be perfectly ok in a relationship, if both agree on it. I am a 32-year-old man. My wife is 27 and we have been married for three years. We are happy parents of a little girl who just celebrated her first birthday. My sperm count is very low and we had to use a donor. Natural insemination was the right method for us. We both think artificial insemination is much too clinical.

A better whip to beat your wife

WHEN some men clear their throats, their wives develop symptoms of tuberculosis. Those are men who are neither bullies nor mad dogs. They do not get a kick from kicking their wives around the house. They do not beat their women just to prove they are men. And their women know when to pull the brakes. So, there are men and there are men. Mad men, wife beaters and men who know how to enforce discipline in their homes.

We've heard enough of men who kick their women in the tummy when they are pregnant and those who cause their women to wear D&G 'bones' to cover up dark patches on their faces after slapping sessions. We have also heard enough of women who make their hus­bands so miserable, the poor men lose it and go berserk. In other words, there are wife beaters, women batterers all over the place and women with vile mouths who don't know when to duck when they see a flying punch. So, there is no point belabouring the violent point. It is bad to be foul-mouthed and worse to be a wife or woman beater. Is there then a middle road? Of course. Only dumb men don't know how to discipline their women without raising a fist. Wife beaters should learn from their women. We, the daughters of Eve do not beat men and yet smart men don't toy with us.

We do not give our men black and blue faces to get them to buy us gold, diamonds, the latest SUV and build us houses. They do all those things nice and easy and we know how to express our gratitude. But men who insist this is a man's world don't know jack about making their women do what they want. All brawns, no strategy. A woman will tell a man to go to hell and the dude is actually going to look forward to the trip. Well, it's absolutely a woman thing. We were designed by God with that particular element. Poor men, what do they know?

Birth control practices

Written by Dr Sylvester Ikhisemojie - The Punch, Nigeria.

Sylvester Ikhisemojie

In much of Africa today, there is a burgeoning population made possible by explosive birth rates and the endurance of a majority youthful population. This has many evident positive advantages, not the least of which is the presence of a virile population of people in the productive age group.

The obverse in the problem here is that feeding this large population and finding adequate jobs for the large population will remain a challenge well into the twenty first century. It therefore means that efforts must now be made from this time forwards, in all countries of the region, to slow the rate of population growth to more manageable, more sustainable levels.

As a result, it is incumbent on health authorities throughout the region to teach women of all socio-economic groups about the immense benefits of birth control and child spacing. It is because of all these interwoven facts that issues of contraception and other efforts at birth control must now be examined and propagated.

While birth control and contraception do not necessarily mean the same thing, both of them are geared towards controlling the appearance of unwanted pregnancies. This is because it is possible to engage in birth control without engaging any means of contraception to achieve this aim. Our focus today must therefore centre on birth control. With this clarification, it can be seen that birth control practices will not always involve the use of means, devices and medications to avoid pregnancy occurring but can in fact be achieved naturally by following the natural rhythm of the body itself.

This means that birth control and contraception make up what is known as family planning. As a result, it is important for us to examine some of these methods.

Virus spread by mosquitoes linked to rare birth defect

~TheGuardian, Nigeria. 

*Brazil sees sharp rise in babies born with abnormally small heads, researchers find

A mosquito-borne virus may cause babies to be born with abnormally small heads. Zika virus, which first appeared in Brazil in May, causes fever, rash, vomiting, red eyes and, in some cases, death.

According to a report published in ScienceNews, Brazilian health officials believe that a Zika infection during pregnancy harms growing fetuses. Pregnant women hit by the virus may be more likely to give birth to babies with the rare birth defect microcephaly, a congenital condition marked by a small head and abnormal brain development.

Over recent months, Brazilian health officials have noted an unusually high number of babies born with microcephaly. From 2010 to 2014, on average, 156 Brazilian babies were born with the birth defect each year. This year, health officials have already recorded 1,248 suspected cases of microcephaly. On November 28, government health officials reported that Zika virus had been found in tissue from a baby born with microcephaly, a find that links the birth defect to the virus.

Zika virus also has been documented in Africa, Southeast Asia and islands in the Pacific including the Cook Islands, French Polynesia and the Federated States of Micronesia. Because the Aedes mosquitoes that carry the virus live around the world, the virus will probably spread to previously unaffected areas, the United States (U.S.) Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warns.

Make haste while your fertility sun shines

Written by Oladapo Ashiru - Nigeria.

Oladapo Ashiru

This article underscores the recent experiences of Dr. Lateef Akinola, Prof. Oladapo Ashiru and their team, regarding the proportion of women delaying childbirth until they are in their late 30s and early 40s, a trend that is on the increase. Such women often delay childbirth for career development and economic empowerment while searching for the ‘right’ men. 

Though all of these are laudable and worth the sweat, they can lead to age-related infertility which has been coined as “voluntary infertility”.

Infertility is defined as failure to achieve pregnancy after one year of unprotected vaginal sexual intercourse. This affects about 10 to 15 per cent of couples. It is spread equally among the male and female population. Causes of infertility in males can include low sperm count, poor sperm motility, abnormally-shaped sperm, spermatic duct blockage, impotence and ‘undescended’ testes.

The untold vile of bride price

Written by Ada Chinyere Cummings

Phone:- 08020558188

Ada Chinyere Cummings, an activist and writer. 

The institution of bride price was carefully designed by some affectless tradition to cow the womankind into subjugation-weaving an intricate mat of destiny' pathway.This is often shrouded in intrigues and repression upon which she must tread. As a child, tradition pulled the usualwool of ignorance over us and compelled us to accept without questionwhatever we were told was the norm. 

Tacitly, I saw bride price as the spirit that joins the body-man and the soul-woman together in asolemn wedlock.It was the high point of any traditional wedding ritual.

For me, it was a sacred ritual as I never witnessed. First hand, the often messy divorce case.At a point, it became clearer to me that the female gender to a certain extent, has the same character-traits like Christ: long suffering, full of love and so unassuming. She is the tender and emotive part of man that was made flesh. God left a tiny, little fraction of this tender part in the man just for him to retain a semblance of human and humane feelings, else,he would degenerate into a complete animal, as I saw a man beat his pregnant wife almost to coma and others maltreat their wives and still, they humbly remain loyal in their husband's house.But as time went by, my belief in the solemnity of the ritual began to flag.

When last did you 'fine-tune' your wife?!

Written by Bunmi Sofola - Vanguard, Nigeria. 

SHOULD the romance in a marriage stop after the birth of a few kids? Forget slaving to put food on the table, pay the rent and put a substantial sum of money aside for the kids education. The question is: When last did you give your wife a complete 'MOT', just as often as you do that priced car(s) of yours?

What brought on this thought-provoking poser is the recent experience Linda confessed she was elated she had. She just turned 40, but said sadly,she couldn't remember the last time her husband made proper love to her.

"After almost 14 years of marriage" she continued, "I'd put on some weight especially when I had our fourth child. Dare, my husband, had gone bald and the most exciting thing we did was share the occasional take-away treats with the kids. Sex was virtually non-existent, just a quickie every other week.

"I was at a classmate's 40th birthday party when a friend I hadn't seen for years looked shocked to see me. 'Why have you put on so much weight?' She squealed, 'you used to be a stunner. What happened to you?'

I felt a bit embarrassed. I had put on quite a lot of weight alright, what with the huge meals I shared with Dare, and scoffing the kids' often left-overs so food wouldn't be wasted. But did she have to be that blunt? Her criticism stayed with me for days. Friends I saw regularly couldn't be as outspoken as she was for fear of hurting my feelings.

Thanks to her, I took a good look at myself in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. I vowed to give myself a health over-haul before my birthday. So, I ditched all the stodgy food and cut down on the portions I eat.

Why are men abandoning their homes?

Written by Niran Adedokun - Nigeria. 

Niran Adedokun

Penultimate Sunday in church, I heard a story that made my stomach turn. While trying to encourage members of The Fountain of Life Church, Ilupeju, to invite men to Discovery for Men, a quarterly interdenominational gathering of men started by Pastor Taiwo Odukoya in 1997, Mr. Taiwo Akinlami, a Lagos-based lawyer and rights activist, noted that this was an extraordinarily difficult time for men and families.

To explicate this point, Akinlami said that the confusion of this season was making a lot of men abandon their homes, either to live with other women or just dropping off the radar without a care for the wife and children at home.

He told his listeners that he was privy to many of such cases and he graciously shared one mind-blowing instance, in which a man left his wife and children and disappeared without a trace.

One day, months after he left home, his wife and children while driving on the Lekki-Epe Expressway, saw a man who looked like their erstwhile champion in the company of another woman. They were said to have caught up with him at the tollgate where the wife deliberately ran into the car he was driving, just to get his attention.

When he came out of the car and his family accosted him, he was said to have flatly denied knowing the people accusing him of abandonment. But his accusers did not let off until they were all dragged to a nearby police station!

These are indeed very unusual times in our world, the beginning of a very awkward moment in Nigeria as this trend is not new, especially to countries in the western world.

An article entitled, “The extent of fatherlessness”, recently published by The National Centre for Fathering, a United States-based nonprofit, suggests that over 20 million children currently live in homes without a father in the US. The article further indicates that there are millions of other homes where fathers are physically present without any emotional commitments.

Another article with the title, “The 9 devastating effects of the absent father”, published last June on www.thefathercode.com, suggests that about 40 per cent of children in the western world go to sleep in homes in which their fathers do not live. It adds: “Before they reach the age of 18, more than half of our nation’s children are likely to spend at least a significant portion of their childhoods living apart from their fathers…”

How I wasted 35 years of my life in America -Nigerian returnee from the US

Written by Azuka Jebose Molokwu - Nigeria

~ JEBOSE BOULEVARD, Punch Nigeria. 

In the United States, over 3.5 million people experience homelessness every year. The homeless include people from all ethnic backgrounds and discipline. This number includes 35 per cent of the homeless population families with children. In recent years, the number of homeless immigrants, documented or undocumented, has doubled as America continues to experience immigration challenges.

John Atari (not real name.) was once an undocumented immigrant in the US. He was also homeless and an alcoholic. He left Nigeria in the early 1980s in search of better life. After more than 30 years in America,with no home and dependent on substance abuse and alcohol, John, few years ago, returned to Nigeria, somewhere near Port Harcourt. He agreed to share his story, on two conditions: we must change his last name and not use his photographs. "I hope people would learn from my experience. That's why I agreed to share this story."

This is a compelling narrative:

"I left Port Harcourt more than 35 years ago. I missed the sights and sounds of the Garden City; the intrigues of dusty roads and the smells of combusted market places, filled with everyday people hustling to survive through the day. I missed those days, when plantain sellers hawked by the roadside. I thought I might never see these parts of my life again. I retained faded memory of childhood, the path that led me to, in some strange ways, where I am today, back to this peaceful place called home. I used to sit in shopping mall parking lots, in the cold weather of the US, waiting endlessly for sunset.

"A lot happened to me, I have advanced type two diabetes. I am also suffering from a cardiovascular disease. I am living on borrowed time, supported by several medications. I don't have a wife or family except my sister and the church that rescued me when I returned two years ago, after living in America for nearly 35 years, as a homeless alcoholic. I didn't have Green Card to find a decent job. Even if I did get a job, I was not sober enough most days to keep my job. I hustled for odd jobs to maintain my passion for alcoholic beverages. It didn't have to be that way. I occasionally engaged as a gypsy taxicab driver in the city. I lived beyond minimum wage as I began to hang around other homeless Americans in that city. 

During winter time, I would ride in the city's mass transit bus all day, just to get warm and during severe weather conditions, I checked into the Salvation Army or Rescue Mission shelter homes to get warmth, food and shelter. I had been homeless until one Nigerian asked me to come and drive cab for his company. I drove with no licence, no cab permit.

Relationship with in-laws can make or break your marriage

Written by Elizabeth Badejo - Nigeria. 

One of the fundamental challenges newly wedded couples are most likely to face in the early stage of their marriage is how to manage their in-laws. The relationship between every couple and their in-laws is very important to the success of their marriage, especially their involvement and emotional support in troubled times. On the other hand, when a good relationship is lacking, it can certainly cause friction between the couple and their in-laws.

There may also appear to be a divided loyalty between your newly consummated marriage and some key members of your spouse's family when certain steps are not taken before you make that life changing commitment. In-laws are very important people in the lives of every couple but they can also create hostility and stress between spouses who have emotional and psychological loyalties to their own certain members of their families.

Gender differences

There are some gender differences between men and women when it comes to managing relationships with in-laws and men find it easier to build a relationship with their in-laws in respective of their age or character. Women on the other hand evaluate relationships differently as they are more likely to get emotionally involved with their in-laws and sometime take up responsibilities for them in order to safeguard their marriage.

Get a life

In-laws play a very significant role in the marriage process and their encouragement and support cannot be underestimated but unfortunately, it is not impossible to witness a reversal of that role just months into the wedding too.

Factors contributing to female infertility

Written by Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie, Punch Nigeria. 

Dr. Sylvester Ikhisemojie

There is nowhere in the world where people do not have some ideas about why a woman may become infertile. Advancing age is among the most important reasons that ordinary people know about. It is a known fact that conception becomes increasingly difficult after the age of 35 years. And even during her most fertile period, many external factors and changes in her life style would play various roles in determining whether she can have normal and healthy babies. This worsens as the periods become less regular and the egg count reduces. It gets even worse as the menopause approaches and while this important landmark varies very much among women, it is nevertheless sometime between 45 and 55 years. Some women have become menopausal as early as 40 while others continue to menstruate into their late 40s or early 50s. As a result of these facts, advancing age is one of the most recognised causes of female infertility.

Another common factor is obesity. A woman who is grossly overweight with a body mass index of 25 to 29.9, or is frankly obese with a body mass index greater than 30, is at significant risk of having challenges with her fertility. Such a woman is carrying extra kilogrammes above what is healthy, and this extra load is known to adversely affect hormone function. As an extension, this affects the normal activity of the ovaries with a reduction of the normal cyclical changes in the ovaries that determine whether they are ready for the important function of achieving a pregnancy. Women who are obese at the age of 18 years are more likely to develop polycystic ovary syndrome and have problems with fertility. This disorder of the ovaries is the most common hormonal disorder in women of reproductive age. It is thus the leading cause of infertility among women in that age group.

As women who are obese tend to have challenges with fertility, so do those who are too thin. 

Women, whose body mass index is too low, at 18.5 or less, tend to also have challenges with getting pregnant. This is because they are lacking in the hormone that is responsible for controlling hunger and the feeling of satisfaction. That hormone, called Leptin, contributes to having absent periods when it is deficient. Therefore, achieving a healthy weight, something a woman can attain through a combination of smart feeding and a regular dose of moderate exercise, are two factors a woman must aim for to increase her chances of getting pregnant.

Boost your child's brain the right way

Written by Solaade Ayo-Aderele - Nigeria

Holiday is over and schools have reopened for the new academic year. While the long vacation lasted, knowledgeable parents allowed their children to enjoy the holiday full blast by making them to follow their passion.

Well, all that is over now and rigorous academic work has commenced. As parents, you may have paid your child's tuition, bought the uniform and sundry other stuffs that will make the new school year a good success.

But before you give yourself thumbs-up for a job well done, you still have one crucial step to take: helping to raise your child's Intelligent Quotient! Here's how to go about it...

PE is not a waste!

Many schools these days have done away with the playground. Rather, the available spaces have been converted to classrooms, all in a bid to show parents state-of-the-art structures. Little do they know that physical education does play a significant role in a child's academic prowess.

If you are still in doubt, experts in physical education say there's a positive relationship between physical activity and the academic performance of children.

Professor of Physical Education, Vincent Ikhariale, says, "Though the pressure to improve test scores may often mean more instructional time for classroom subjects, with less time for physical activity; yet, there are strong evidence showing a significant positive relationship between physical activity and academic performance."

He advises that being more physically active is positively related to improved academic performance in children; noting that exercise may help cognition by increasing blood and oxygen flow to the brain, decrease stress and improve mood; and overall increase growth factors.

Ditch junk foods

Healthy eating is still very much in vogue, hence scientists' warning that foods high in sugar and saturated fats will not only make your child sick and obese, they can actually lower your child's IQ!

Are you depending on your children?

Written by Usiere Uko

Email: atusiere@gmail.com 

Website: www.financialfreedominspiration.com. 

Twitter @usiere

Phone: 0810678808106788187 text only

BBM C002B2697

Author and personal finance coach, Usiere Uko, writes about the need to plan for your old age so that you do not depend solely on your children to take care of you

There is this belief that we came into the world as helpless as children, became adults and at attaining old age become helpless like children again. This implies that one will become frail and helpless, depending on others for survival. While this is true for many who simply go with the flow and let nature take its course, there are also some who live life intentionally, taking care of their health, fitness level and finances such that they go through life on their own terms, depending on nobody. I have come across many 80 year olds who are fit as a fiddle, walking with agility without a walking stick. I watched a 97 year old lady Tao Porchon-Lynch wow the crowd in America's Got Talent 2015.

I also read the story of an Indian-born British citizen Fauja Singh who at age 101 ran the 2012 London Olympics marathon (received a letter of congratulations from the Queen), and finally retired in 2013 after completing the Hong Kong marathon. Many never retire. They don't work because they have to. They work because they love to, and still have more to give. The oldest employee of IDEO, a Silicon Valley IT firm Barbara Beskind is 90. Closer home, examples include Rotimi Williams (first Senior Advocate of Nigeria), Tai Solarin and living examples like Wole Soyinka etc. These folks love what they do and keep working until the day before they bid the planet goodbye. This proves to me that we have a choice in this matter, if we choose to exercise it.

I have often wondered why parents send their children to schools they cannot afford. A couple of days ago, my wife shared a cartoon with me. In the cartoon, a man lay dazed on the floor after his wife delivered devastating news - the holidays are almost over and school fees are due. I have run into many lamentations by many parents over school fees, coupled with the fact that it comes in waves of three to four months apart, as you manage to survive one, another one is upon you. Many are in a constant state of financial pressure occasioned by choices they made by their own free will. Nobody put a gun to their head, but they still don't seem to figure a way out.

Why do parents send their children to schools they cannot afford?

Many hide under the umbrella of 'God will provide'. It is very convenient to hide under God, making a decision based on hope. God will always provide, by paying for things he ordered for. If he did not send you, you are on your own. By the way, why put pressure on other people for things God ordered for? The logical person to put pressure on should be God. We need to take responsibility for the consequences of our actions. By taking responsibility for the consequences of our actions, we also take responsibility for making it right. If you cannot afford all the schools in your neighborhood, it means you cannot afford to live in that neighborhood. Eat the humble pie and find your level.

Why my marriage crashed -Ini Edo, actress

Written by JOY UMUKORO - Nigeria. 

Popular Nollywood actress, Ini Edo, has revealed that distance, irreconcilable differences, and incompatibility are the factors that largely contributed to her failed marriage.

She made this known while speaking on Rubbing Minds, a show hosted by Ebuka Obi-Uchendu on Channels Television last week.

According to Edo, distance plays a very important role in a relationship. "No matter the indifference or incompatibility, if you're together in love, a lot of things can actually work out. Howbeit, you don't get to work things out when there is no contact. When you are with someone, and you can't agree on certain things or find a common ground, I think being together could have actually helped us to understand each other better," she reiterated.

The actress explained further that acting makes actors and actresses vulnerable. Her words: "Most of the time, we attract wrong people, sometimes for the wrong reasons. Because when people come to you because of what they see on TV, it's hard for them to accept you considering the fact that you are just acting because that is your job. When they find out that it's not the real you, it becomes a problem.

"Marriage is an experience which I don't regret. My husband met me an actress. My job takes my time, because naturally there are certain roles you are not allowed to play once you are married. Even if your husband understands, his relatives might not understand. My husband is the last child, so family interference in the marriage was normal.

"Marriage has taught me a lot of lessons, it made me wiser and stronger. I think it actually made me more matured. I don't think I married too early, maybe I was a little bit in a hurry."

On dating Mike Godson, Edo said: "Mike is just a friend, and we get to work often. He is a friend to my siblings so we are just good friends. I have known him for a long time just like I have other friends in the industry. I could date an actor. I try not to put limits to what hasn't happened yet. I happen to believe that anything is possible."

How to outsmart your cunning mother-in-law!

Written by Bunmi Sofola - Nigeria

EVERY time Ireti visited her mother-in-law, her teeth were always on edge. Ruth, her mother-in-law is now in her mid 70s, frail and ailing, but as full of spite as when Ireti married her precious son 15 years ago.

"Ruth and I had always been at war," confessed Ireti, "but Gboye, my husband was unaware of this. He'd been the result of an affair his mum had with a wealthy industrialist who bought mother and son a house, but kept the 'embarrassment' of a love-child away from his family. In spite of this shabby treatment from Gboye's father, Ruth was always throwing his name around and telling people how much money he lavished on her. Ireti said, "After the man died, when Gboye was in his teens, his mum had poured all her love onto her only child. No wonder he worshiped her. Her frailness never concealed her razor-sharp tongue, especially when we're alone together.

"Gboye and I had gotten married when, we met abroad, so I was already a mother of two when we came back home. The first time I met her, she became hostile as soon as her son left the room, and instead of being intimidated by her hostility, my back was up! Who did she think she was? I was in the kitchen when she'd whispered to Gboye that he should have married a more suitable wife-only she was loud enough for me to hear. On our way home, I'd warned that if she would continue to be unfriendly, I wouldn't visit any more. But Gboye pleaded I should be patient with her that she was just over-protective of him. 

Preventing preeclampsia in pregnancy

MOTUNRAYO JOEL - Nigeria

writes about preeclampsia, an ailment that affects pregnant women.

A pregnant woman

About five per cent of pregnant women experience preeclampsia after 20 weeks of gestation. It is a complication characterised by high blood pressure, edema (swelling) and protein in the urine.

Sufferers of this medical condition experience symptoms such as: blurred vision, headaches, and more than normal weight gain.

According to a consultant obstetrician/ gynaecologist, Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, University of Ilorin Teaching Hospital, Dr. Gboyega Fawole, prenatal care, which includes, blood pressure monitoring, is very vital to every expectant mother, even if she appears very healthy.

"Monitoring an expectant mother's blood pressure is an important part of prenatal care because the first sign of preeclampsia is commonly a rise in blood pressure. Blood pressure, that is 140/90 or higher, and documented on two occasions, is abnormal. Also, it's possible to have symptoms of preeclampsia before 20 weeks of gestation, but this occurs only in rare cases. Preeclampsia usually begins after 20 weeks of gestation in a woman whose blood pressure has been normal. But a slight rise in blood pressure may be a sign of preeclampsia.

"The ailment can range from mild to severe, and it can progress slowly or rapidly. During screening, your doctors will check for the condition at every prenatal visit by checking blood pressure and urine sample for protein. The more severe the condition and the earlier it appears, the greater the risks for the mother and her baby. Most expectant mothers, who suffer from preeclampsia, develop a mild version near their due date, and they and their babies are still healthy with proper care," he said.

However, pregnancy induced high blood pressure or gestational high blood pressure is not preeclampsia. Gynaecologists have confirmed that a pregnancy-induced high blood pressure occurs, first, after the 20th week in pregnancy and this type of high blood pressure cannot translate to preeclampsia if protein is absent in urine after a test. Also, it is not preeclampsia if, six weeks after childbirth, the mother's blood pressure returns to normal.

Fawole submitted that when preeclampsia is severe, it could affect some organs and cause life-threatening complications, which is why the expectant mother needs to deliver early if her condition is diagnosed as severe or getting worse.

A husband's painful dilemma on paternity, infidelity

By Gloria Ogunbadejo - Nigeria

Gloria Ogunbadejo

A child's paternity has always been a topic of interest and many times of great contention in the African culture. In the western world if there is ever any doubt, a paternity test is the answer and the problem is solved. Within our culture, things are a little more complex than that. I have always been quite clear in my mind and unyielding about my position about a woman muddling or lying about the paternity of a child. I have always felt it cheats so many people and can lead to irreparable damage mostly in the life of the child. However, as I have gotten older and have had a taste of life's whip, I have mellowed somewhat, simply in the ability to have empathy that there are sometimes mitigating reasons for decisions to be made. Having said that from a moral point of view, it still feels very difficult a concept and in some cases it is unfathomable especially when it is just a deceit to cover up illicit activity. The letter I recently received from a reader is one of those complex situations when being judgemental feels inappropriate. What are your thoughts?

Dear Gloria,

I feel odd writing you this letter but I have been reading your column for a few years and I think you are mature and responsible. Besides I enjoy the topics you write on. I have to implore you not to use my personal details. I don't mind if you share with your readers because I'm sure there are many people who are in the same situation.

I am in my fifties and I have been married for over twenty five years. I am a successful well-educated professional. I am married to an equally successful woman that I love very much. She is a few years younger than me but it's not a problem, we are well suited. We had been trying to have children for many years and had not been successful until five years ago when we were blessed with a beautiful daughter. We were so happy and felt blessed. I had a medical condition diagnosed two years ago which was challenging but we managed to get it under control. During the process of treatment it was discovered that I had a problem and it meant I won't be able to father children. I was devastated but worse than that my daughter's paternity was called into question. I did not say anything to my wife. I just prayed on it and asked God to help me contain my feelings for the sake of my daughter. I love my daughter and I decided I would be the only father she will know. Obviously my wife will not want the truth to come out for her child's sake.

The teenager and the challenges of sexual pressure

Written by Funmi Akingbade - Nigeria

Funmi Akingbade

A good percentage of our teens and young adults today are under the siege of sexual pressure. Many willing teens and young adults easily give in to the pressure of sex and not because they actually bargained for it or were in full support of the sexual experiencing they were having. But it has been discovered that lack of good parenting and mentorship have led many of our young stars into undue negative early sexual exposure and disaster.

Parents and guardians, in a bid to balance business and parenthood, fail in their responsibilities towards these young ones.

The negative media influences (Internet) cannot be over emphasised. It is from the internet these teens and young stars are polluted as many of our teens get hooked to porn sites as early as age 10 and sometimes below. Masturbation, pornography, sex chatting have now become the order of the day among these teens. It is from internet that these young ones are pressured into bad gangs, sexual perversion etc. Research has shown that many sexual activities are pre-programme into all children's games, phones, ipad, iphones, Facebook dating etc. Then again, the violence-saturated media leads to the ever-increasing acceptance of violence among our young adults.

I am of the opinion that parents and guardians should do a bit more on sex education than they have done. Then, we would be able to salvage our teens and young adults from this impending sexual disaster.

But the greatest challenge is actually how to start this sex education.

Many well-meaning parents want to know the best approach they can adopt with their teenagers when they want to introduce and discuss sex and sexuality with them. Talking to your teenage child about sex and puberty can be quite challenging as some parents even avoid the topic completely because they are ignorant of their teens budding maturity, exposure and even the extent of what he or she knows already.

Others have the concern that talking about sex and their teens' body change would lead to early experimentation. Some other parents hesitate to start the conversation out of unnecessary fears, as such, leaving their teens to chances. I think it is not safe for parents to leave children to chances while wishing all would be well. Why not effect the changes you want to see in them?

A sex therapist expert says sex education is easier passed to the male teen than the female teen. This is the more reason a teen girl should be taught way ahead of her male counterpart. As soon as a girl- child reaches puberty, you should not delay discussing sex and puberty any longer. Many teens turn to friends and the media to get answers, much of which may be way off base. You might be surprised to know that although teens report getting most of their ­­information from the above two sources, the number one source they would wish they could go to with questions is 'you,' their parents.