I am married but another man wants me for N5m

Nkarenyi Ukonu - Nigeria.

Lola was beginning to get exasperated with Gbenga's incessant talk about wanting to start a relationship with her. No matter how many times she told him how disinterested she was, Gbenga refused to back out. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing appealing to her about Gbenga, who was too full of himself. She wondered for the umpteenth time why any sane girl on campus would agree to a relationship with Gbenga whose ego was the size of Olumo rock.

But Gbenga was not going to take no for an answer. His confidence came in large doses; he rarely ever got his requests turned down -- not when it had to do with intimacy with the opposite sex. In most cases, he didn't have to do any chasing, his physical appearance and deep pocket spoke for him in no small measure. So, it was an affront to him that Lola who didn't look half as good as the 'sex bombs' that swarmed round him would repeatedly turn down his request for a relationship, not even after he had put on his irresistible boyish charm.

Colours of a difficult man.

By Kemi Ashefon - Nigeria

Ben is the best man any woman could have. However, that is to any onlooker but not to his wife, Kate. "He could give out his heart to outsiders at no cost at all," she said. "He could go the extra mile in assisting others, but not at home. We got married seven years ago and now have three children. I have to beg him over and again to help me pick the children from school since he closes five hours before I do. He has one excuse or the other and these children are always at the mercy of our neighbours.

"Last weekend, I was almost in tears having to clean the house, make soups and stews for keeps and taking care of a child suffering from malaria. When I asked him to take me to the market, he said he was going to see his late friend's widow! This widow enjoys my husband's company more than I do - she gets a monthly allowance from him and he is always visiting her. Though her husband was very nice and was Ben's best friend, I am sure he would not have gone the extra mile for me if I were in his wife's shoes!

"My husband finds it so difficult to give me N2,000 to buy shoes but would take that widow and her kids for shopping. I have made investigations and realised that they are not lovers. That is just Ben for you - an angel to outsiders but the opposite at home."

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Beatrice's spouse could be in high spirits this moment but the next, he might be as cold as ice. "He would keep quiet throughout the day and whenever I ask what is happening, he would say 'nothing.' What kind of man would stop talking to his wife for no reason? Aside from that, whenever he wants to talk, he would pick his phone and talk to his friends for hours! Initially, I thought he was angry at something I did, but I soon realised that he behaves that way even when I do everything that should make him happy! I cannot remember the last time he ate with the family on the dining table - he prefers his room and stays glued to his sports channel. But in his moment of 'joy,' he could do anything to make me happy and those are the times I get the best from him.

"It is still a miracle that we have two kids and I have stopped asking him to sleep with me again. Meanwhile, his mother would tell you that he took after his father who was very quiet and never told her he had three children outside their 45-year-old marriage before he passed on! I have tried to make him drop this funny 'inheritance' but he would not! I think his mother's way of idolising him is the problem and it is time I told her to stop visiting," she said.

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Not every woman would stick a man like Joe. "He nags like a woman," Yvonne, his wife disclosed. According to her, he complains about everything she does. "You would not believe that he complains about the way I lie on bed! To him, a woman should sleep straight and not curl up like an embryo! Just last week, I served him food in a new set of plates I bought from Dubai and he complained that I made him feel pauperised. He complains about the kids' clothes if he didn't buy them; he complains about the colour of my pants; he complains about the clothes I wear (my cleavage must be covered); he complains about love-making, and the only time he is happy is when he is with the bottle. Moreover, I have observed that he wants to make me feel inferior and sad. But for my children, I would have divorced him." 

When girlfriend assumes the role of a wife

By Nkarenyi Ukonu - Nigeria

It was once again the period when you have three public holidays lumped up with the weekend, making it a desirous mini holiday. Georgina's boyfriend, Kingsley, as usual, requested that she packs a small weekend bag and spend the period at his place. But like a bolt out of the blue, Georgina refused. She told him she wasn't going to be available as she wanted to stay put in her own apartment for the duration of the mini holiday and have some 'me' time. She wanted to reflect deeply on her life and the unpleasant way it was going.

This sounded like Greek to Kingsley who knew Georgina would never pass off an opportunity to spend time with him, or so he thought. He tried coaxing her to accept to do what she had always loved to do - coming over to his place even when he didn't extend any invitation - but she was resolute in her decision. Refusing to give up, he decided to let her be, at least for a while, hoping she would come back to her senses soon enough. But by the second day, Georgina refused to give in to Kingsley's pleas. She insisted on wanting to be alone for once in a long time.

Georgina, an advertising executive and Kingsley, a banker, have both been an item for five years. They met at a concert hosted by the old boys association of the high school Kingsley attended. Georgina was invited to the concert by her best friend's boyfriend, Arnold, who, coincidentally, was a friend to Kingsley. Introductions were made and Georgina and Kingsley hit it off immediately. They had quite a lot in common - they attended the same church even though different parishes and by extension, belonged to the same faith. They were passionate about the plight of the less privileged; they were both voracious readers of history and political books, etc. They couldn't believe their luck; theirs was like a match made in heaven. Their relationship took off at breakneck speed, leaving them with no breathing space. At work, they never missed an opportunity to speak to each other on phone and every spare moment was utilised for this.

If it was possible for them to see each other daily, they would; unfortunately, they both worked and resided in different parts of town, far from each other and this made it impossible for them to make time out to see each other at the close of work every day. But they made do with weekends, starting from the close of work on Fridays. Every Friday morning, Georgina didn't need to be told that she won't be back to her apartment until Monday evening. She would always get ready her weekend bag, which had items that would serve her for the weekend and on Monday at work. They spent every moment together, making their respective families and friends to complain about their lack of attention for them.

But the 'lovey dovey' couple was past caring; all that mattered to them were themselves. On arriving Kingsley's home every Friday, they would hug each other like their lives depended on the hug and proceed to make passionate love without even undressing, refreshing or even taking a breather from the day's job.

Thereafter, they would both decide on whether to stay indoors or go clubbing. Saturday mornings and afternoons were usually spent cleaning up Kingsley's apartment. Georgina would scrub, clean, vacuum and dust the apartment as if she was presenting it in a cleaning competition. She would then go to the market, shop till she dropped and fill his freezer with food, fruits, vegetables, drinks, etc., that would last him the whole week. They could either decide to remain indoors or step out to catch some late night fun.

Sometimes on Sundays after church service, Kingsley might have his friends over and for the period they were in his apartment, Georgina would always wait hand and foot on them. They were her boyfriend's friends after all; she had to be nice to them to gain their approval. Gaining approval didn't just end with his friends, she also ensured that his siblings, or extended family members who stopped by the house to visit, were made as comfortable as ever, lacking nothing.

And by Monday morning, she would be back at her desk and the whole cycle would repeat itself again. This was the pattern of things and it lasted all of five years; and on no occasion did Kingsley deem it fit to raise marriage issues with Georgina. If there was one desire she wished for with every fiber of her being, it was to be legally and spiritually married to Kingsley; but it bothered her that he wasn't dropping any hint along that line, let alone broach the topic.

She knew Kingsley wasn't cheating on her since they spend every free moment together; and she also knew deep within her that she had surpassed expectations - that is if Kingsley had been putting her through tests. Being a prim and proper lady, she didn't think it was wise confronting him head on with future plans; instead, she would always device a means to get her message across; maybe drop subtle hints during their conversation to seek his opinion about an imaginary friends or colleagues who has marriage issues, etc.

But on each occasion, Kingsley would always wriggle his way out of any talk that is closely or remotely linked to marriage. This went on for a while and Georgina, as usual, wondered at his nonchalant attitude towards settling down. And rather than take it out with him and appear desperate, she would simply stomach the disappointing vibes she was getting from him and hope that the next time an issue tilting towards marriage comes up, he would come up with a favourable response. But that wasn't to be.

Exactly five years after they first met, Georgina decided to take a critical stock of her love life. She wondered where she had gone wrong. She had practically slaved for Kingsley, acting like they were already married, hoping, praying and waiting that he would pop the question and take her to where every woman desires - the altar. But the big question eluded her. Five years after, she felt used and duped and decided they both needed to reexamine their relationship. But she didn't have the heart to tell him so.

She was madly in love with him and even though his actions made her sad, she couldn't bear to see him hurt by asking them to re-evaluate their relationship and probably take a break. The best she could do was to tell him she wouldn't be spending the mini holiday with him at his place. She wanted to be left alone to think her way through this issue and hopefully make Kingsley have a rethink.

When your wife and friend betray you

By Nkarenyi Ukonu - Nigeria.

It was the morning of Rukayyat and Saheed's first anniversary. Incidentally, it fell on a Saturday when they would be off work. They had both planned to stay indoors enjoying and savouring each other's company and to finally cap it up with a classy dinner in an upscale restaurant in town.

The past one year had been a blissful one for them; they deliberately put childbearing on hold solely for the purpose of maintaining intimacy. By the second year, they were fully ready to start raising a family. Rukayyat went off the family planning pills she was on, in readiness for the children they were looking forward to welcome. While Rukayyat wanted four children - two of each gender, Saheed couldn't be bothered about their sexes as long as they didn't exceed three. Even though they were unable to come to a compromise, it still didn't diminish the excitement that characterises the birth of children.

By 6.00pm on the anniversary day, they were dressed to the nines, and headed for a posh restaurant. It was a candle-lit dinner, one which made the mood and the ambience of the corner they occupied in the restaurant to suit the purpose for which they were both there. By 8.00pm, they were done with dinner, ready to go home to continue from where they had stopped. They were both in high spirit as they touched each other and gazed into each other's eyes intermittently. They laughed at their own jokes and just as Saheed took another quick look at her, he heard a loud bang and that was all he remembered until he woke up from the four- day coma he had slipped into. Surrounding him were his wife, his parents and in-laws.

After taking in his environment, he stretched out his hands for his wife's warm embrace and then proceeded to ask why he was lying on a hospital bed, with gadgets sticking out of his body. Rukayyat told him that at the moment he was about to take another look at her in the car on their way home, a truck came out from the right side of the road without warning and smashed right into them. For him, the magnitude of the impact of the crash resulted into a spinal cord injury, while she escaped with minimal injury.

She however didn't tell him that the jolt on his spinal cord, which left him paralysed, also affected his chances of ever fathering children. She waited until he was finally discharged, and while alone with him, broke the sad news in the comfort of their home. The news hit him like a thunderbolt. He first went into shock, displaying no emotion, preferring to be left alone and then later broke into tears and wept his eyes out.

He couldn't understand why God would allow such misfortune to befall him. He wasn't a bad person in any way and so there wasn't any question of a repercussion of his past evil deeds revisiting him. He was inconsolable and preferred death to the thought of not being able to father his own children. But with counselling, love, support and prayers from his wife, he came out of his depression and life continued for them.

He resigned from his job and set up a business he could manage in his condition. Three years after the incident, Rukayyat began to itch to have her own children. His in-laws and parents began to breathe down his neck for grandchildren. They weren't aware of Saheed's condition since it was kept secret from them. Their reason was not farfetched. They both wanted to save him from the attendant shame and embarrassment that might follow should they let the cat out of the bag. Saheed thought hard about what to do following his in-laws and parents' insistence for grandchildren; and eventually decided that they take the adoption route.

But there was a snag. How were they supposed to present a baby if Rukayyat doesn't show signs of pregnancy? Taking off for almost a year and selling the story of going to Europe to have a baby would be a hard sell. Besides, Rukayyat didn't like the idea of adoption, since there was nothing wrong with her. She wanted to experience the joy of motherhood - from pregnancy to labour to child delivery, breastfeeding, weaning, etc. Saheed didn't know how that would happen, knowing his current state, but he didn't have to wonder for long.

In very subtle ways, Rukayyat began to send messages across to him; and when it didn't seem likely that he would ever unravel what she had in mind, she decided to tell him herself. She proposed that Saheed speaks to one of his closest friends to help put her in the family way so they can have their own children and avoid being made an object of mockery; but only after the friend would have been sworn to an oath of secrecy.

Saheed recoiled at the thought of another man laying hands on his wife and felt disappointed that his wife could propose such a thing. He refused outright, asking her to think of another solution rather than the unthinkable. But Rukayyat's mind was made up; it was either that or he sources children for himself all alone.

This was more than Saheed could bear, but he eventually gave in to his wife's request when he realised he couldn't stop her from experiencing the joy of motherhood. Besides, he could see that if he remained adamant, Rukayyat was capable of dumping him like a piece of hot potato and this he didn't want, as he loved her dearly.

The said bosom friend, Yinka, was invited to their home and the proposal sold to him. His first shock was at the realisation that his friend was incapable of fathering a baby and the fact that they wanted him to get his friend's wife pregnant in order to save them the shame. This was too much for him to digest and he asked to be given some time to think about the request. After a month, with no answer forthcoming from him, Saheed personally went to him, pleading with him to help save his marriage.

Seeing tears streaming down his friend's face, Yinka resolved to help him. In four years, they had three children and, luckily for Saheed and Rukayyat, they all bore resemblance to their mother and unless someone scrutinised them closely, it would be difficult to detect some of Yinka's feature in the three.

However, even after the birth of the children, Rukayyat continued to see Yinka without Saheed's knowledge. She felt she was human, after all, with blood flowing through her veins and who could better satisfy her sexual urges than Yinka who has been of tremendous help to the family, since Saheed couldn't carry out his conjugal duty as her husband. Their clandestine affair soon became open knowledge. News soon reached Saheed who had nursed fears that Yinka might feel the urge to continue to 'help' out, even after his scope of duty had ended.

He confronted both of them. Rukayyat felt remorseful, attributing her actions to her desire to satisfy her biological urge and pleaded for his forgiveness, something he found difficult to do. He resented her for disrespecting him and reminding him constantly by her action, of his incapability. Yinka, on his own part, felt insulted that he was being reprimanded for helping a dear friend. He bid his time to hit back at Saheed and tell him some home truth.

It was at a mutual friend's birthday party and Yinka had had more than his fair share of drink and was already tipsy. He accidentally knocked down a statue and while trying to reposition it, Saheed tried to tell him to take things easy and consider sitting down rather than moving around and knocking things about, knowing that he was a bit tipsy. Yinka rained invectives on him, telling him how less of a man he was, and very happily, announced to the dismayed crowd how he, Yinka, was the biological father of the three children that Saheed claimed to be his.

If there was any way he could disappear from the gathering by just blinking an eye, Saheed would have given an arm to do so. But the silence that descended on the gathering was all he needed to turn round and leave the party. Back home, he thought of what to do to end all the humiliation he had borne from his wife and supposed friend. The shame he had tried to avoid was what now stared him in the face. To end it all, he thought of suicide. It wasn't a bad idea, he thought. He knew it was sin before God, but right now, Saheed was past caring.

The nature of God, ever seen...

Sent by Gabriel Dzisoo - Ghana

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair
cut and his beard trimmed. As  the barber began
to work, they began to have a good  conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects. 
When they eventually touched on the subject of God,
the  barber said: 'I don't believe that God exists.'   
'Why do you say that?' asked the customer. 
'Well, you just have to go out in the street to
 realize that God doesn't exist.
Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? 
If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain.
I can't imagine a loving God who would
allow all of these things.'
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.
The barber finished his job and the customer
left the  shop.    

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an  untrimmed beard.
He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barbershop again
and he said to the barber:
'You know what? Barbers do not exist.'   
'How can you say that?' asked the surprised barber. 'I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!' 
'No!' the customer exclaimed. 'Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no 
people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.'

'Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when  people do not come to me.'

'Exactly!' affirmed the customer. 'That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help.    
That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world.'

Learn A LESSON !!

Sent by Veronica Koroma - Sierra Leone
Favourite quote: "Though the mountain top is glorious, but it is in the valley I will grow"
E-mail: nicakad@yahoo.co.uk
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Lesson 1:A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

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Lesson 2:A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
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Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'Iwant to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
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Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
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Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
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Lesson 6A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
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Lesson 7

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,
but she belonged to someone else...

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, "I'll give you a R100 if you let me
have sex with you. But the girl said NO.

Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on
the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the
time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for R200, pick up the
money very fast, he won't even be able to get his
pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.


Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.

She responded, "The bastard used coins!"

Management lesson:Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

"Happiness is not something you find, it's something you create"!

Sent by Amalia-Gawanas - Namibia

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert During some point of the Journey they had an Argument, and one friend Slapped the other one In the face.
The one who got slapped was hurt, But without saying anything, wrote in the sand:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath.
The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, But the friend saved him.
After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"
The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away.
But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it." So henceforth:
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE!!!

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
Do not value the THINGS you have in your life. But value WHO you have in your life!
"Happiness is not something you find, it's something you create"!

My husband resents me for being the breadwinner

By Nkarenyi Ukonu - Nigeria

Olowe and Bimpe were both in an amorous relationship and at the same time classmates. They were both students of International Relations at a federal university where their romance started. In their third year, they were both sure where their relationship was headed and they both made up their mind to consolidate and seal it once they graduated.

Their parents were well aware of the relationship and gave their blessing. They were the envy of their classmates, as they had everything going for them. Their love for each other was mutual and their academic records never fell short of expectation; they were always tops in their class. At graduation, they emerged first and second best in their department. Unfortunately, they had to be separated during their youth service year. While Olowe served up North, Bimpe remained in the West. They kept their love aglow through constant phone calls, post cards and love cards. The service year soon ended and they were happy to be back in each other's arms.

It didn't take long for them to get employment. Bimpe was lucky to be offered employment in her area of core competence at the British High Commission as a diplomatic attaché. Olowe wasn't so lucky. He didn't get his dream job; but rather than sit at home and bemoan his fate, he decided to make do with what came his way. He took employment in a chemical manufacturing company as a sales representative. Even though he was constantly on the lookout for a better offer, preferably in his field, he, nevertheless, carried out his duties with all seriousness and diligence.

Nine months after they both started work, they were joined in holy matrimony and they settled down to raise a family. Eighteen months into their jobs, they welcomed their first baby, a bouncing baby boy. In quick successions, they had all their children, three of them. By now, Olowe had risen fast in his company to become the assistant sales manager.

Bimpe was also well rewarded with promotions and all the perks that came with each new position she attained. Things were going on well for them; their children were doing quite well in school and they were able to afford the basic things of life. But there was a problem: Olowe detested his job and the paltry sum he received as salary. He wished he could switch to his dream job, but luck eluded him. He detested even more the fact that his wife got a fatter salary at the end of the month; but he did his best to hide his resentment. He worked himself sore to meet up with his financial obligation, refusing help in whatever guise from his wife. Even though he didn't tell her so, she was quick to detect that there was a problem as far as finance was concerned, as it was beginning to affect all other areas of their life. She tried, in vain, to make him understand that contributing to the family up keep did not in any way diminish her love and respect for him.

As the months rolled by, so did his resentment towards his wife worsen. Things soon got worse for him. The chemical company he worked for folded up due to the sudden turn in the economy and, without any prior notice, he was thrown into the labour market.

He had nothing of his own to fall back on. He plunged into depression as his plans to get a better job proved to be an effort in futility. At this point, he had no choice but to allow Bimpe to take up the family upkeep. He refused Bimpe's suggestion to help him set up a small-scale business when he wasn't making a headway with his job hunting. He gradually began to take out his frustration on her; questioning her every move, picking quarrels over inconsequential issues, raising his voice at her and generally making life unbearable for her.

Surprisingly, she took all of his outbursts in her stride, careful enough not to join issues with him, while playing her role to the best of her ability. She dared not offer words of encouragement in order not to incur his wrath, while she secretly job-hunted for him.

He became disconnected from his three children who all preferred to stay away from him as much as possible. The last straw that broke the camel's back was when he didn't come home for two days and by the time he came home on the third day, he was reeking of alcohol. When Bimpe tried to inquire about his whereabouts and why he chose to keep them all in frightening suspense, he gave her a thorough beating, one that got her hospitalised for three days.

While on her hospital bed, she strategized and perfected her plans to move out of her matrimonial home with her three kids, a move she made once she was sure he wasn't anywhere in sight. After rollicking in alcohol for another two days, Olowe arrived to an empty home one day at a quarter to midnight, with no trace of his wife and children.

The heart of a bitch

By Segun Durowaiye - Nigeria 

What would make a young beautiful girl tell blatant lies to her parents? What manner of girl would take deadly risks that portend nothing but doom and calamity? Such was the life of Derby, who was in her late teens.

Derby had everything going for her the way she wanted. At a very young age, she had already gained admission into a reputable tertiary institution to study microbiology. Talking about beauty... oh la la! Derby was extremely beautiful! She was so charming, enchanting and lovely to behold. She had everything in the right proportion. She was light in complexion, a six-footer with sparkling white set of teeth and eyes that shone like stars. Heaven must be missing an angel in the person of Derby. The only snag in Derby's life was her warped lifestyle and debauchery. That was her greatest weak points. Her parents were a successful couple in terms of material things.

That day would remain memorable in the life of Derby's parents. She came home from 'school' as usual and demanded some amount of money, which they willingly gave her. Unknown to her parents, she was practising as a commercial sex worker in a brothel. Most times, she would come home claiming she needed money for feeding and academic expenses, and her parents would give her even more than she asked for, not knowing that their daughter was an advanced prostitute.

Derby lived on campus, but spent 90 per cent of her time patronising brothels and lying to her parents that she was in school.

Pronto, Derby was back in a brothel by name Paradise World and she was absolutely enjoying herself with a customer, drinking alcoholic beverages, smooching and chatting in a lively manner. Her customer that night was a man in his early fifties. The man was really 'loaded' with cash. It was a night of bliss, or so it seemed. The man was sipping champagne and munching fried chicken and chips. Music was blaring from a big loudspeaker close by.

After much carousing and when an 'agreement' had been reached, they stood up and the robust man paid the bills and headed for his silver-coloured Infinity Jeep parked outside the premises. He was holding Derby by the waist. They giggled and laughed heartily, pecking and hugging joyfully. In a twinkling of an eye, they were both inside the cosy jeep and it zoomed off immediately. Romantic music was playing noisily from the high-tech sound system of the sophisticated car. They were both suffused with bacchanal joy.

Just then, as the man was approaching a bend, he was unaware that a trailer had broken down on the narrow road. Unfortunately, the speeding jeep crashed into the rear of the trailer. The man lost his life. And Derby too. They gave up the ghost on the spot.

Within the next 30 minutes of the accident, the news got to Derby's parents. They rushed to the scene. The sordid story was told to her parents.

With tears in his eyes, Derby's dad lamented thus: "I never knew my daughter is into such mess. And we always advised her..."

Her mum was lost for words, but she shook her head sorrowfully, even as tears continuously dropped from her eyes. It was a sad story. May God help us.

PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!

- Afrisonet

Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it.

He held it up for all to see and asked the students

“How much do you think this glass weighs?”

'50gms!'.... '100gms!'...'125gms' ...the students answered.

“I really don't know unless I weigh it,” said the professor, “but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?”

'Nothing' …..the students said.

'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.

'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the student

“You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?”

“Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress and paralysis and have to go to hospital for sure!”... ventured another student and all the students laughed

“Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?” asked the professor.

'No'…. Was the answer.

“Then what caused the arm ache and the muscle stress?”

The students were puzzled.

“What should I do now to come out of pain?” asked professor again.

“Put the glass down!” said one of the students

“Exactly!” said the professor.

Life's problems are something like this.
Hold it for a few minutes in your head and they seem OK.

Think of them for a long time and they begin to ache.

Hold it even longer and they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.

It's important to think of the challenges or problems in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to ‘PUT THEM DOWN' at the end of every day before You go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh, strong and can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!

So, When you leave office today, Remember friend to 'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY'

Run your Own Race

Sent by Hiyab Tsegay - Eritrea

A few months ago, I was out running (jogging) through my neighbourhood.
I had about a kilometre to go on my path before I needed to turn off when I noticed a man about a half of a kilo in front of me. I could tell he was running a little bit slower than me and I thought to myself, "Good, I'll try to catch him." So I started running faster and faster. With every block, I could tell I was gaining on him just a little bit.

A few minutes later, I was only about quarter kilo away, so I really picked up the pace and started pushing it. I was so determined to catch up with him that you would have thought I was in the last leg of the Olympic Games! Finally, I caught up to him and passed him. On the inside, I felt so good that I had beaten him. (Of course, he didn't even know 'we' were racing.) But when I got my mind back on what I was doing, I realized I had missed my turn. I was so caught up in trying to beat this man I didn't even know that I went nearly six streets further than I was supposed to. I had to turn around and go all the way back.

Isn't that what happens in life sometimes? Maybe we're trying to catch up with someone else - a neighbour, friend or co-worker. We get so wrapped up in the competition trying to outdo them, out dress them, or trying to prove that we're more important. We spend all this time and energy going down that path when we should be using it to move toward our own God-given destiny!

If that's you today, realize that your life would go to a whole new level if you would just quit competing with everyone around you. It takes a lot of physical and emotional energy to try to impress people all day long. But it's very freeing to say, "I don't have to impress anybody today. I have nothing to prove. I'm secure in who I am. And I am not going to feel bad if you look better, make more money, or get more recognition. I don't have to keep up with you; I'm going to run my own race."

Get free from comparison today so that you can move forward into the destiny God has in store for you!

I fear Nelly might give into pressure and dump me

By Bosede Olusola-Obasa  - Nigeria

I'm hoping however that I do not turn out the eventual loser. I am in love with a man - Nelly. He also claims to love me. He has had three children from three relationships earlier as a youth.

At the moment, he is not married to any of the women who bore him the children. The three children are in the custody of their mothers, who live in separate countries from where he lives.

I met him living a bachelor's life and only got to know about his past from his narrations. He is getting very close to his 40th birthday and is seriously desiring to settle down. Nelly told me that he has no contractual commitment to any of the women, but he acknowledged the children as his own and will be willing to have them back home any day. For me, that is okay, especially because I later got to know that the first two women are now married to other men.

He told me a lot about his desire to settle down with me and has asked for my hand in marriage. We have been in a very mutual relationship for some years already but I do not live with him.

I am looking forward to our marriage sometime soon; so, I did not hesitate to let my parents know him. Good enough, they feel comfortable with his personality, especially because he hails from my father's home town. He speaks the dialect with such fluency that never stops to captivate my dad.

The only thing that is now giving me reasons to worry is that the woman, with the youngest of his three children, has been getting in touch with Nelly more frequently than ever. From time to time, all of his children speak with him on their mum's telephones as a way of maintaining a relationship between them. Again that is okay by me.

In recent times, however, I seem to be getting really uncomfortable with the conversations between Nelly and the woman I mentioned earlier. At times, when I come around to stay with him over the weekend, the conversations I listen to suggest that of people who are trying to re-establish a relationship. None of the three women knows me; neither do their children. But I have seen their photographs with Nelly. They appear very loveable people but my dear Nelly never minces words saying that none of the women can be his wife.

That notwithstanding, when it got to a point that I could not bear it any more, I decided to ask him some questions again and get some reassurances from him on my fate. I do not want to make a mess of my life, especially because my aged parents are already involved in this.

My concern now is: will Nelly be able to stay true to his commitments to me in spite of the pressures that may come from the other women? He appears to be sincere about his promise to me, but I feel that the other woman also thinks that she has a stake in his life as well. Am I not taking a risk with my life?

One point stands out: my parents will never agree to give my hand out in any marriage to be a second wife. Their position is also known to Nelly. How certain is my fate? Am I playing safe at all?

Men also have in-law palaver

Kemi Ashefon - Nigeria

If Tade had his way, he would have stopped his mother-in-law from coming to his home. "I wish she could stop coming forever," the exasperated father of three said. His nine-year-old marriage had been full of much joy and less sorrows, but with large doses of interference from his ever nosy mother-in-law.

"Nike, my wife, is a very good creature and has sacrificially contributed to whatever I am today, but her mother would always visit at the drop of a hat! I would not have given it a thought that she comes uninvited or unannounced because the home also belongs to her daughter; but her interferences are unforgiving! I remember vividly the day she came for our third child's christening and kept asking for the prices of everything bought for the ceremony.

"At a point, she asked our domestic help whose money was used! To this nosey old woman, her daughter feeds me because she works in an oil company. But how do I tell this woman that my job as an insurance broker is also lucrative and I can comfortably feed my family and even be of help to my extended folks? But Mama would always refer to everything as her daughter's. If it were possible, she would have said Nike impregnated herself and had the kids with her oil money!

"I have really exercised patience with the woman, but her recent moves changed that. She was in our home for the New Year and, while we congratulated one another for being a part of another year, she told her daughter in their local dialect that it was time she built her own house and invested wisely because I must stop spending her money this year! Was I angry? Immediately, I replied that she should not pull down our marriage the way she destroyed her's. Of course, Mama cried that I was rude to her and said all sorts of things, but I didn't apologise and I have already told her daughter to do something about her mother's unending visits to our home."

"My parents in-law believe that the best way to take care of their children is to have a hold on their marriages," revealed Amin, 35. Just five years into his marriage, he said, his domineering in-laws steered the ship of his home. "They want to know which schools our children attend, how fat/lean our bank accounts are, who the domestic staff are, and who our friends are.

"Initially, I lapped up all the 'love' showered on me like a puppy, but at a point, I became uncomfortable with the gifts - cars, money and foreign trips - since they are used as monitors. They wanted our kids to remain in their circle, so they chose their schools, where they spent their holidays and lots more. For me, who came from the rustics and always loved freedom, I was restrained from so-called 'bad friends.'

"When I became uncomfortable with their arrangement, I stopped taking the gifts and money. I refused the trips for my family, but my wife would not accept any reaction from me. She was brought up in luxury and could not imagine any form of 'suffering' at all! We argued and, sometimes, she would invite her parents who ended up taking sides with her.

"Last September, I had to invite my parents to talk to my wife, but her parents showed up and intimidated my poor folks. Currently, my wife and kids stay with my in-laws, who wanted to take them on a trip since they have not resumed school. I am getting tired of all these."

Ade's grouse is his mother-in-law who brings ready-made soups and stews for her daughter, who is a bad cook. "My wife cannot boil water without burning it," he lamented. Initially, he never knew what was happening. "I always return late from work and my wife would have 'prepared' my food. I commended her culinary skill and even brought my friends home to show off my wife's meals. But I fell ill and had to go on leave for two weeks. Though whatever mother and daughter did to provide delicious food for me was still hidden, I noticed strange movements in the back door of the kitchen. Whenever I asked my wife, who was just a year old in marriage, she would say it was the drycleaner who brought some clothes.

"When I decided to spend my outstanding leave at home, I discovered that my mother-in-law was always bringing in meals through the backdoor to cover up for her daughter's inadequacies.

I don't care if my friends dated him, I am going ahead to marry him

By Nkarenyi Ukonu - Nigeria

NKOLIKA, Chinyere and Njum were very good friends. Their friendship dated back to their primary school days. Besides the fact that they were classmates, the trio who resided with their respective parents just a few metres away from each other in the city's government reservation area were well known to each other's parents even though no bond of friendship formed among the parents. It was normal for the girls to take turns to host themselves in their respective homes on weekends. This tradition continued until they got to secondary school but this time only on holidays since they attended a boarding school. By this time, their friendship had become tighter with the core values of friendship, respect, love, courtesy, confidentiality, integrity, trustworthiness, beliefs etc defining their very essence and togetherness. It became very difficult for anyone to come between them no matter how hard they tried. Even though they made friends easily with others, it was nothing compared to what held the three of them together.

When it was time to get into the university, they not only unanimously chose one which was far from home, they all chose to study science related courses. While Nkolika chose to study biochemistry, Chinyere opted for dentistry and Njum felt she would be more at home with Botany. They excelled exceptionally well in their studies drawing admiration from all and sundry who saw them as unique based on their friendship and how good they equally were at their studies. Everyone subsequently labelled them the three musketeers. To further crown their uniqueness, the three graduated in flying colours emerging the best graduating students in their various departments. Not wanting to be out of each other's reach, Chinyere prevailed on her father to help out in making sure that they were deployed to the capital city for their national youth service corps and within a year of staying in the capital city, everyone who was closely or remotely associated with them knew that it would only take death to separate the three jolly good friends.

They all decided it was best they settled in Abuja to start a new chapter of their lives there. They got lucrative employment in their various fields of endeavour and got a four bedroom duplex they moved into. Life continued for them on a roller coaster. At the end of each month, they made it a priority to visit their parents even if only for a few days. The issue of marriage became the most talked about issue each time they visited and they resolved to make it a priority even though they had no one they were seeing who could be considered serious enough. One day while eating out at a fancy restaurant their gaze was fixed on a man who walked in to have lunch. He was tall, handsome in a rugged way, in a pin stripe suit suggesting that he could either be a banker or a professional. He had just the perfect body shape for a man and couldn't have been more than 35 years. The trio took in his appearance including his dark brown shoes which Nkolika whispered to the rest bore a Salvatore Ferragamo signature.

When he eventually sat, his mannerism, the way he made his order and everything combined, a discerning person could tell that he was polished. Well his presence meant the end of lunch for the three friends as they were simply taken. Njum broke the silence first, saying she liked him, was her perfect kind of man and would give anything to speak to him. Nkolika re-echoed Njum adding that he suited her better as she was the one who was light skinned of the three. Only Chinyere whose open admiration of the stranger kept her speechless. Shortly before 'prince charming' finished his meal, Njum was already by his side introducing herself, offering him her number and asking for his which he did even though he was taken aback at her boldness. The other two made sure they waved at him before walking out of the restaurant. Rather than drive home, they leaned outside the car they came in, discussing the man who they now know as Alex, courtesy Njum. Mid way into their conversation, Alex walked towards his car which was parked by theirs.

To say that their hearts skipped a bit seeing him up close would be putting it mildly. He greeted Chinyere and Nkolika warmly and exchanged numbers with them. All three had his number and he had theirs. Nkolika and Njum were the first to call him, although at separate times and without the knowledge of the other. They were literarily throwing themselves at him but knowing by hindsight what they wanted, he politely turned down their offers of dates, choosing to remain just platonic friends with the two. He was surprised that for the next few weeks he kept exchanging phone calls with the two. Chinyere never called. He soon began an affair with Nkolika and shortly after, added Njum. The two soon found out he was seeing them intimately and a fight broke out between the two girls as they accused each other of going behind the other to proposition Alex. Still they continued to see him, one refusing to back down for the other. As far as they were both concerned, the other was a shameless boyfriend snatcher.

In all of this, Chinyere wasn't pleased with how bad the friendship between her two good friends had degenerated. Even though she wished that Alex had eyes for her alone, she never the less found the way her friends went about getting the supposed man of their dream, shameful. She soon bumped into Alex and in a weak manner protested about how he had made her friends debase womanhood and urged him to stop seeing them because it was tearing their friendship apart. Alex tried to explain his disinterest in them, laying the blame at their doorsteps. From that chance meeting, Chinyere and Alex soon became an item, she found him irresistible and damned any consequence of her action. They were soon at each other like a house on fire and of course all hell was let loose in their home. The other two turned at her like a cat on a mouse but by now, she was past caring. She soon moved out of the duplex into her own mini flat so she could have some peace and concentrate on growing her relationship with Alex.

Six months into their relationship, Alex proposed to her, she was elated. They met each other's parents and started to make preparations for the wedding. It didn't take a soothsayer for her two friends to know what was amiss. They threatened fire and brimstone as they saw Chinyere's action a betrayal of their friendship. Chinyere has told them both to let her be as it was the same Alex they threw themselves at that proposed to her and not the other way round. But her friends are prepared to shed blood should she and Alex proceed with their wedding arrangements.

How best do you think this issue can be resolved?

What should I have done after seeing nude pictures of my wife and her colleague?

By Bosede Olusola-Obasa - Nigeria

My four-year courtship with Tumi terminated in an elaborate wedding, which held in Benin City, Edo State. The wedding was sponsored by my wealthy and influential parents-in-law. I must confess that as a bachelor, their level of wealth was what first caught my fancy. That is not to say that I did not love Tumi at all despite the fact that she is not so pretty, very fat and lazy.

Anyway, soon after we got married, I got a transfer at my office to go and head our new branch in Lagos. My wife could not go with me because we had just bought a beautiful house in Benin and she was also a career woman. Except for these reasons, I would have immediately requested that she went with me because I could not bear to live alone, especially as a newly-wed. Nevertheless, I had to answer the official call to resume work in Lagos.

Typically, I am a very sociable person, so I knew that I could have some difficulties staying true to our marital vows. And really, it was not easy for me emotionally; I sorely missed the tender caresses and cuddling from my wife. Before I realised what had befallen me, I was neck deep in a silly, erotic relationship with a colleague of mine in the office, she usually stopped over at my official quarters to see how I was faring. I believed her visits made great sense to me because my relationship with my wife soon became reduced to mere but seldom telephone conversations since I visited Benin bi-monthly.

This colleague of mine is not yet married and she seemed to always offer me reasonable opinion, among other fringe benefits. What I did not realise however, was that my wife had got herself entangled in a similar web back home. Yes, we had a number of domestic staff working for us at home, but I don't expect any of them to adequately keep her company. As I later found out, she became very engrossed with a guy called Nwosu that they did so many abominable things together. But that was not the worst aspect of their escapade. Even before my discovery, our relationship fluid became very scanty that we did not yearn to be together anymore; but I never looked forward to a divorce because her parents had done so well for us.

A lot of things seemed to happen simultaneously that time as her father was fingered as one of the major debtors of huge non-performing loans threatening the life of a financial institution. Immediately, he began disposing his properties to recoup some money to repay the loans. I travelled to Benin for my annual vacation at that time and found a picture storage card on the window in our bedroom and decided to view the content. I was taken aback by my findings -several shots and different postures of nude pictures of my wife with her colleague! When she returned home that evening, I asked her about the pictures. She was shocked that I had found out, but she was not remorseful.

Angrily, I locked her up in the bedroom and took the keys away to cool off somewhere. To my surprise, she was moving around freely when I returned; she had called Nwosu on the telephone to break the door and free her. I was so furious and went to his house the next morning to warn him to stay away from my wife, but he thoroughly embarrassed me. My legs were wobbling as I returned home. Our marriage was less than six months at this point.

Shortly after this, my wife was said to be pregnant but I told her that the child could not be mine; I sent her packing. My aged parent got to know of the development and said that I should not have sent her out of the home. Their views were premised on the good times her parents had shared with our family. They said that I should avoid being seen as an ungrateful person, especially at such trying times for Tumi's father. They offered to go with me to my in-law's place for a resolution meeting, which was primarily to give us room to determine the true paternity of the unborn baby. Agreeing to such an arrangement turned out to be my greatest mistake ever. Tumi's parents embarrassed and harassed my parents and walked us out of their house. They threatened to hand us over to law enforcement agents if we wasted time about leaving the premises. I was reduced to everything but a man. Did I over react on these issues? Where exactly did things go wrong?

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